Morning Cuppas With Glenys

Pain changes people!

In dealing with my fibromyalgia flares, I find dealing with the accompanying mental pain is just as bad as dealing with unrelenting physical pain. It is just as difficult to bear.

Usually a mild mannered person, after coping all day with searing pain in my muscles, topped off with an inability to sleep soundly, I can fly off the handle occasionally.

Yesterday for example, I managed to catch up on my dishes, which turned out to be a three part marathon. Usually Chris puts them away but yesterday it didn't happen.

My fingers were paining me, my back ached and my legs didn't feel like they could hold me up. Unfortunately, a feeling of resentment overtook me, and I yelled at Chris for not doing his part.

I love being a wife and homemaker, but when everything is hurting at once, and not sleeping well because of the pain, resentment rose up in me.

Resentment that I wasn't getting any help coupled with no pain relief and tiredness made me verbally buck and shy like a wild stallion. Along with resentment of my lack of help came resentment that my body has let me down.

Once resentment kicks in, it opens the door to self-pity and depression. I don't like yelling at Chris, particularly as he is usually not only helpful but emotionally nurturing and supportive.

I have found that at times like this, when pain causes me to blow my stack, that like an overtired toddler, I need to rest. So I put myself to bed for a nana nap.

But before I go for that nap, I apologise to Chris and go to sleep talking with the LORD and repenting of my bad humour.

Fibromyalgia pain never lets up, even in our sleep. It pursues us in our rest and deprives us of even the enjoyment of a brief period of respite in sleep. We toss and turn, trying to get comfortable- and that is even during the brief time our dry aching eyes are actually closed. It is not restorative at all.

I have had to learn to stop feeling false guilt for reacting to my pain when the levels are high enough to launch a rocket. That's how I feel during a flare. But I have got to remember that I didn't ask for this and am not responsible for succumbing to this painful syndrome.

I must remember that fibromyalgia pain-or indeed any pain, makes the vicissitudes of life that much harder to bear. Everything is exaggerated both physically and mentally, and the only thing I can do is accept that this is not my usual self, for pain changes people.

Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent. Psalm 71:9

Give us the comfort of Jesus~

I recently saw a post from a Christian woman who blogs about marriage and who believes she is an authority on all things spiritual. Along with this narcissim, she has a very prideful and uncompassionate and judgemental attitude. Plus she will never concede that perhaps, just perhaps, she is wrong.

She was exhorting us to not allow any sin into our lives: gluttony was high up on her list. And whilst gluttony is a sin- (anything taken into excess especially that which is harmful- is a sin)- she proceeded to broadcast her lack of knowledge in weight and health matters, and made the blanket statement that overweight is always due to gluttony and that is therefore sin.

So many chronically ill people commented and her attitude was one of "pipe down you glutton and confess your sin!" Many overweight people- Christians- were upset by her and I join them. I wrote a reply as this woman needs to be made aware that her judgements are not only spiritually wrong but also medically incorrect....

OK. So I am obese. After 3 heart stents, an underactive thyroid that took years to diagnose, fibromyalgia, Scheurrmanns Disease, spinal stenosis, hole in the heart and a torn meniscus in the left knee plus years of Prednisolone due to polymyalgia rheumatica, I don't move around much.

Every single one of the 30 pills I must take daily add to my chronic fatigue and lack of alertness. I eat healthy food and keep to 1200 cals a day. Due to meds, I must eat with them and I cannot fast- but I have tried. To make a simple equation in physics help me lose weight, I would be able to consume a plate of lettuce once a day. Which is unreasonable and unsustainable.

I am very close to God and am under absolutely no conviction that I am either a glutton or a consistent sinner. I am however, absolutely constantly reassured of a God Who loves me as a Father loves His child and I confess I cling to Him in my daily living with chronic illness and consequent obesity.

To have prideful and uncompassionate people act like Jobs' Comforters is no help at all and very unChristlike. Where is grace? Why the judgements? Thank God we have one Judge and Advocate: I thank God it's Jesus.

It is a shame that this woman is so unsympathetic and strident: she speaks a lot of truth regarding marriage, but again with the caustic remarks and prideful attitude one sees in her adored author Debi Pearl, as seen in her horrible book Created to Be A Help Meet.

A Christian teacher should be gentle, not prideful, harsh and downright cruel. There are so many of us who are overweight and who fight it daily. We do not need to be told that we are sinning because of our weight. It is a sad state of affairs when we have the added pain of condemnation from an unlearned individual to contend with as well.

Let us be slow to speak and then to do so in love, just as our Saviour taught us. We need His comfort as we battle our weight and illnesses, not some self righteous cowgirl galloping in on her stallion. Job's comforters are not required- (not that she tries to comfort anyway) Give us the comfort of Jesus!

I have heard many such things: miserable comforters are ye all. Job 16:2

Being gracious to ourself.

In light of my last post, my friend and I were talking/typing online about things that make us feel guilty. Our conversation centred around sick family and our less than gracious treatment of them. Which we both now regret.

It made me think about the issue in a new light and gave us both some peace. Here is my reply to her:

Thank God He understands and doesn't judge us harshly. We both will have to pray that He takes away our guilty feelings. Until we both can forgive ourselves, we won't have any true peace. You have understood my guilt and I certainly understand yours. We should give ourselves grace. Sometimes we fail to be gracious to ourselves. Praying for you with love and understanding and knowing you will pray for me! (and remembering that sanctification is an ongoing process!) we are a work in progress!

We cannot undo what's done- what is passed is past. But we can let go of negative thoughts even about ourselves and purpose to do better.

If we have been convicted by the Holy Spirit and have confessed our sin, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sin. We must remember that self condemnation after forgiveness is from the evil one.

Knowing that these guilty feelings after repentance is an old pattern of thinking, we must bring our thoughts into the captivity of Christ.

Our sanctification is an ongoing process that doesn't stop until we are in Glory. As long as we are moving forward, we are doing well. We simply must be gracious to ourselves.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. Psalm 51:15

Our little haven

So yesterday was a day of horrible fibromyalgia pain and fatigue. I felt a little down so I came to my couch and sat next to Chris for a cuddle and rest.

We love feeding the birds that come into our back garden and all through the day, our garden is like an airport. Birds of all types come to dine and drink and it is so restful and fun to watch them.

They have their own little antics and natures and they can be quite amusing. And apart from watching their different natures and antics they have something else that we find very attractive: they have babies.

It's such fun to watch the mothers feeding their babies and to watch the babies venture further and further from her as they learn to feed themselves. They fly but are still juvenile and yesterday their mothers were distancing themselves from their chicks and refusing to feed them, much to their annoyance.

The magpie juveniles are especially raucous and squawk even with food in their mouth. They are almost always feeding. The minor bird mummy also is weaning her chicks from her and as soon as she moves away, they follow like the duckling family juveniles do. So fun to watch.

But by far, my favourite birds are the Kingfishers which have also had babies. Whilst laying on the couch, I can see outside and I was delighted to see a mother Kingfisher with one of her three babies on our garden swing.

They were watching the porch which was covered in birdseed for the galahs and rosellas. I had thrown out some cut up luncheon meat, and they were waiting for the magpies to vacate the porch so that they could dine. Kingfishers are shy and besides, magpies are three times their size. So they wait.

It is the season for little white cabbage moths too. They are flying around the agapanthus plants and I guess they are mating because they seem to be in pairs. As are the pigeons that come for the seed.

There are three that regularly call in and partake of the parrot seed on the ground. There's a little female who just wants to eat, but there also is an amorous male who has romance on his mind. He pursues her constantly and hopes to make her his by dancing for her.

He fans out his tail feathers and hops towards her, then takes a few steps back. He repeats this courting gesture until she tires of him and runs a few feet away. But he is insistent and pursues her over and over again. I hope that he wins her heart as it is such fun to watch the young birds as they leave the nest under their mothers supervision.

We have a bird bath/feeder in the back garden which we used to fill with seed, but now with torn meniscuses in both knees, I cannot get down the steps to fill it, so they get fed from the back sliding glass door. I just toss the food onto the back porch. They don't care where it is.

They are quite used to me now and I have them almost eating out of my hand. So much so that as soon as I open the door, they come flying in to the garden from all directions, calling each other.

We have water in the bird feeder and in a plastic container in front of the steps. They bathe and drink and sing and they enjoy our back garden as much as we do.

It's a lovely place to recoup one's spoons during a fibromyalgia flare. The daily scenes are so peaceful and we love our little haven and we know the birds think of it as their haven as well. Their constant visits and frequent broods of chicks speaks of a place of plentiful food, water and safety.

We are grateful God lead us to this little country town- it is a gift from Him: our little haven

Thank You, God for forgiving me!

My mother died of dementia two years ago. My brother lived with her all his life, so when she became ill, he became her carer.

Just before it finally became necessary for her to go into a nursing home, my brother had a severe heart attack and so Mum came to stay with us while he was in hospital.

I remember this chapter of my life so well, and it is a shameful time for me and one I regret. Forgiven, yes, but I can't forget the way I treated her during that week.

We had just moved into a new rented home and we were extremely stressed. Mum was missing my brother and was concerned about him. Every five minutes she would ask if I would ring the hospital and enquire about him. I would tell her that we already rang and they said he was resting comfortably after having a stent put in.

I reassured Mum that as soon as he was allowed visitors, we would take her to visit him.Which we did. But still she fretted and wanted to go see him. After a while, it got very wearying.

The room where Mum was staying in had a holland blind that had chains for putting up or down, and when I took a cup of tea into her, I noticed the blind edge at the bottom had been pulled off.

Not even unpacked yet, I was upset that already we had damaged a new house. I realised that Mum had pulled it down instead of using the chain tracking. When I asked her if she had done it, she declared it wasn't her- it just broke. She was like a little child found with her hand in the cookie jar. To my shame, I was less than gracious to her.

She was on medication for a urinary tract infection and half an hour after I gave her her tablets, she said she felt nauseous. I quickly ran to the laundry and grabbed a bucket for her, but she shouted at me that she was not going to use that... and promptly started gagging.

I quickly guided her to the nearby toilet and lifted the seat up for her, but she refused to vomit into the toilet and in fact swung her head from side to side, projectile vomiting all over the walls and floor.

It was all so unnecessary, and as I cleaned her up and then cleaned up the toilet, I did so in a bad humour. I asked her how hard was it to use the bucket I had brought to her and pointed out the awful mess that I had to clean... and as my fibromyalgia was bad and my spoons scarce, I was very ticked off with her and having to clean it up.

Mum hung her head, and said quietly, "Well I used to clean up after you!" It brought me undone. I cried and held her and told her I loved her. It was a good hour before I could stop crying as I saw Mum as she was- a woman in a child's body, scared of what was happening to her and scared of me!

Later, we were at the table and I was trying to coax Mum to eat. She was a stubborn woman with a will of iron, and as I cut her bread and butter up to make egg soldiers, I realised that she was losing her battle fast. Her body no longer knew how to eat. The long goodbye was getting shorter. She was dying!

I cried before the LORD when I was in the bathroom, torn between grief and guilt for losing my temper with Mum. I had never done that before or since, but I stayed there until I felt calm again and purposed to be kinder to her.

Fortunately for Mum, she had forgotten that I had been cross and happily did a tour of inspection of the new house, holding my hand in case she got lost. She didn't know how to get back to her room or kitchen.

Although Mum had forgotten about it, I hadn't and to this day, I still feel ashamed of my lack of patience. I know God has forgiven me, and graciously arranged that when she passed, she was holding my hand and peaceful. It was healing for me and good for her.

Even so, there are times when I am grieving for her that I wish I could live that day again. I would be much nicer and kinder. Thank You, God for forgiving me!

Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent. Psalm 71:9

It's all poppycock!

We have such a lot happening today in this world that is frightening. It's no use trying to pretend that we are not at all concerned about what's happening: we would be fools not to be concerned about it.

I won't lie and pretend that I haven't been fearful, but I make myself remember God's promises to be with us no matter what, and I can bring the fear into the captivity of Christ.

We must cling to God and His promises if we are to have any peace about world events. We have to run to Him and not from Him.

Some people feel that if a Christian is afraid that they are not truly saved. That is a lie from Hell. It is just another way that the enemy gets to us when we are down. God does not turn away from us if we feel fear. He wants us to run to Him. He's a loving Father.

In running to Him, we will be comforted and have peace and that is something the evil one does not want. Those who judge the fearful Christian by saying they are not saved because of being afraid are doing the evil one's bidding: causing defeat, misery and false guilt.

The Word says that nothing can separate us from the love of God. Jesus calls Himself the Good Shepherd.

And our Good Shepherd laid down His life to save us. He's not going to turn us away because we are afraid.

To suggest that a moment of fearfulness means we are not saved is dangerous. It denies our humanity. It presumes to judge. It spreads falsehood. It negates the work of God. It upholds the work of Satan. It seeks to nullify the Blood of Christ.

I am sure that God would approve of my judgement of this false teaching and nonsense by using one word to describe it: poppycock!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. Psalm 23

Hypocrites in the church

We are never going to find a perfect church because we are all sinners saved by grace. But at the least, love for each other should be obvious... or else we are no disciples of Christ... "This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." John 15:12 Sadly I have been to such mega churches where the preacher is more interested in getting the right side of his profile on the video tape... real performers! Give me a church that truly loves its' brethren...

Many people, myself included have been hurt by judging, unloving and critical Christians in church. 18 months ago after I left the last church where I was serving as a deaconess and a foundation member, I decided I had had enough of being hurt. My weight, age and illness were mocked and they were only going to get worse. I felt that I would never go to church again. But gradually over the months, I got an unbearable hunger for corporate worship and last Sunday, in spite of panic attacks and a bit of fear, I went with my friend to a church that Chris and I have attended before. It was good... I felt complete.

I do understand the silent looks, the unspoken criticism of being ill and the almost palpable expectation of others to get better and to stop whingeing.... and yes, to have more faith. This world is geared to the young and well and the beautiful people, even in the church. If you happen to be obese as well, you are minced meat! But I had to work through that and to be honest, it still hurts. Christians should not judge on externals...

But I need to go to church. For me, it was a lesson in forgiveness and knowing that Jesus accepts me as I am, even if young pioneer church planters of pastors, don't. I think unless God intervenes in their hearts, a lot of go getting pastors will continue to view the chronically ill aged and overweight or poorly clad, with the carnal mindset of the world.

I wonder if they have really heard from God in their calling when His compassion and love is evidently not manifested in their actions. This shouldn't be with pastors because although human they are entrusted with much and they should be worthy of the respect they deserve as pastors. Yet sadly many fall very short. I believe it is a sad indictment against the modern church... and pastorate.

Did you know that Mahatma Gandhi was shown contempt when he went to a church? he never went again, citing us as hypocrites! This is so sad and I know it grieves the LORD.

http://www.christiantoday.co.in/article/mahatma.gandhi.and.christianity/2837.htm

If the church has no compassion for the sick, no care for the poor or hunger to reach the lost, then she doesn't know her God and deserves to be called hypocritical.

Therefore the Lord said: "Inasmuch as these people draw near with their mouths and honor Me with their lips, but have removed their hearts far from Me, and their fear toward Me is taught by the commandment of men," Isaiah 29:13

Relax... God's got this!

We are now into 2021. I was considering how fearful some of us are as the New Year approached and I was comforted to realise that God has got this! There is no need to fear.

How can we have the peace that we need as we face yet another year of uncertain times? By remembering Who is our Backstop, our Guide and our Comforter..

Jesus has brought us through every day until now... He guides us through each day through His Holy Spirit... He comforts us as we travel through this world on our way Home with Him.

He is able.

He is.

And was.

And will be....

Emmanuel-

God with us.

Not far from us.

Here.

Now.

A very present help in trouble...

Let us join our hearts and hands united in faith, and not fear the future. We are in very good Hands... and may God give us His Peace and guide us through troubled waters to Home....

If you are not sure where your eternal Home will be, please read this link. Don't go another year without assurance and peace that comes with salvation...

I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty. Revelation 1:8

Of salvation and love glances!

Over the past 40 years of my walk with the LORD, it never ceases to amaze me that He has always been attentive to my needs.

Before I was born again, I know He wooed me, calling me to Him by His Spirit. He rejoiced over me when I accepted Him as my LORD and Saviour and He spoke to me in my worship times. He corrected me in times of temptation and graciously pardoned me when I fell.

There were dry seasons when I didn't feel His Presence. Even felt alone, but it was always me who had moved away- never Him. He was and is and is to come, and He responds to me lovingly no matter how far I may have fallen or doubted or panicked. He hovers constantly by His Spirit and strengthens me when I cannot even formulate sentences. And there have been many times over the years I have just shot up an arrow prayer: help! And He has!

There were times that I felt His compassion as I cried in pain from surgeries to remove kidney stones and lay with 9lb weights on my legs in traction for spinal problems, and I can testify that He has heard, for at my most vulnerable of times physically and emotionally, He has always sent someone- be it nurse or doctor or even patient, who has exuded compassion and concern. And even prayed for me.

Having had a rather sad life up until I met Chris, I can tell you that God keeps His promises to be with us and never leave us. He has been with me in my lowest of times and has given me that peace that surpasses all human understanding and I am humbled and grateful.

In happier times, I have shared a laugh with the LORD- something that was just for me and He to get and I tell you, there's nothing better than to laugh in the Spirit. You actually bubble up with happiness and joy in the pit of your stomach and it makes your eyes glisten with tears of mirth. There's nothing like it...

People are so wrong when they say Christians have got religion: loving Christ is not a religion- it's a relationship. God is love and He loves us with an everlasting love.

And talk about God being the Lover of our soul: He is most attentive to His Bride for He arranges things that only I will see and which He knows will delight me. I call them Love Glances. He causes me to see so many beautiful things that could easily be overlooked... and I love Him all the more for it.

I am sharing this with you not to say that God will live out your and His relationship exactly the same way as He does with me. We are individuals. But He will be faithful and true and would have died for even *you* alone if He had to. He loves *you* that much.

If you want to love the LORD in a deeper way, just tell Him. He will be there immediately. Start your new walk by developing gratitude for what He has already done for you: He has saved you from sin and has promised eternal life with Him. When you start being grateful for what He has done, you will see more and more what He is doing and you will believe more strongly in what He will do in your life.

I don't know how people can cope with some of the things we face in the world, especially now- without God. But if you believe in Him and what He has done and you have accepted Him as your LORD and Saviour, you will never have to face it in your own strength.

If you don't know Jesus as your LORD and Saviour but want to click on here. Time is short now and it is time for the Church Age or Age of Grace to end. Jesus is coming for His Bride- believers. This is known as the Rapture. Those who stay will have hell on earth. Literally.

Why not accept the LORD'S offer of salvation now and enjoy your life as a Christian with us? Eternity could be seconds away and the decision you make now is one which will spell out your eternal end.

The Spirit and the Bride say "Come!" Today is the Day of Salvation and tomorrow's the Day of your own Love Glances!

Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: John 1:25

A marriage that's too hot to handle

I have found that emotional abuse in a marriage leads to physical illnesses that in turn destroy a woman's life. That therefore equates to the same thing as physical abuse.

In searching for help in my marriage I approached a godly older woman- a pastor's wife after I was violently raped by my ex-husband just five weeks after undergoing major women's surgery... she sided with my husband.... there was no compassion for the abuse in my marriage..

I am so glad that I realised she was biased towards preservation of my marriage as opposed to preservation of myself. I was thrown into the lions den with no thought as to my safety. I now have PTSD...

I would therefore advise an abused wife-either physical or emotional abuse- to leave for a time until or if the husband submits to church discipline or agrees to marriage counselling and then to approach a reconciliation only after proof of repentance.

It is simply too detrimental to a woman's health to stay in an abusive marriage without any hope of improvement. It is simply too hard to handle...

Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. Malachi 2:14

Trusting God, gaining peace is the goal

I have been a Christian for over 40 years now, and I have had to recognise that I will never work out things that are too deep for our mind.

I used to wonder how God is God- how He could be the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end...

how the world was created- was it in 6 literal days, or days that equalled eons..

how the Blood covers sin- what was the significance of blood in sacrifice?

how the miracles occurred..

how Jesus rose from the dead... and exactly where He went when in the tomb for 3 days?

There were many more questions I wanted answers to, and I really tried in my limited reasoning to understand...and in doing so, I lost my peace...

Finally, I decided that some things just have to be taken on faith and by trust in God. How God is God and does the miraculous is beyond me. I just have to trust in Him and believe. That's where faith comes in and brings me peace.

Being faithful and loving God and walking in the Spirit is what God calls me to do- the other stuff, frankly is none of my business....

Trusting God is my intention, gaining peace is the goal.

But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him. 1 Corinthians 2:9

The Donkey

A decree was issued by Caesar Augustus

For folk to be counted by means of a census.

My task was to carry from Galilee Joseph’s young wife, Mary,

All the way to Bethlehem,

To be counted, all of them.

Mary was a virgin the chosen one

To soon give birth to Jesus, the Lord God’s Son…

After we entered Bethlehem I was led to a crowded inn.

Quietly I stood, Joseph held the reins,

He sought shelter for Mary had pains.

No room in there-but we were able

To spend the night in a nearby stable.

I settled down amongst oxen and sheep;

Exhausted I soon fell fast asleep…

Several hours went by when I heard a new-born’s cry.

Held by Joseph for Mary to see was a lustily crying boy baby

His mother’s face showed her great joy

As in swaddling cloths she wrapped her boy…

Above the stable shone a star so bright;

Shining gloriously, it lit up the night.

The Heavens opened and all around

Angels sang; such a glorious sound!

Shepherds watched in great fright; they’d never seen such a sight!

Joyful tidings for peace on earth

Were heard that night of the Saviour’s birth.

I felt so proud-I felt so honoured

That I was the donkey that had carried Mary upon it!

I wanted to praise Him so I started to bray…

And as the sun rose to mark His first day,

Mary tenderly laid Jesus to sleep on the hay.

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. Luke 2:7