Showing posts with label Submission. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Submission. Show all posts

A marriage follows a wedding




A wedding comes with a lot of preparation and planning. As the day draws near, it is very busy and sometimes even frantic.

For us women, our own wedding brings to fruition years and years of imagination and dreaming. As we all know, this starts from our earliest years.

It is often joked about, but unfortunately it is true that usually the groom takes a back seat and is consulted on just minor matters. After which he basically just has to turn up on the day. This can lead to a problem. Often a groom can get the impression that all that is important is the wedding and that he comes second in all the busyness of wedding plans.

Ladies, it is imperative that we nurture our relationship and ensure that our fiance is not feeling left out or unloved. Women are prone to doing this as we get engrossed in the newest chapter of our life and we often see this when a new baby comes into the home. 

We must plan for a wedding but we also must keep it in perspective and realise that after a wedding, a marriage follows. A wedding lasts for a day, a marriage lasts a life time.

The tending of our relationship in regards not putting our fiance last, should start before the wedding day and should continue after the wedding with a marriage until death do you part. 

A wedding is just the beginning of a life together. So we would do well to remember that our marriage will take effort for it to endure and to be a happy union.

Being a beautiful bride is the easy part: most women look radiant on their wedding day. But that's only the start of a marriage. 

Let's remember to concentrate on being a beautiful wife and mother- a job that is both as challenging as it is satisfying - but a job that is far more important in eternal values than having a long veil and white dress.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


 
"Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband." Ephesians 5:33

I have to agree!



With so many Victorians contracting Corona Virus in a vicious second wave, wearing masks has been declared mandatory for all Victorians after midnight tonight.

There's still much ongoing debate about the ability of a mask to stop the spread of the virus, but with a $200 fine for not wearing one, most of us will do so, albeit begrudgingly.

Chris and I will be wearing a mask when we leave home, in fact, we have already worn one yesterday. To be honest, I feel like I can't breathe properly but I persisted with wearing one.

I am no medical person, but my feeling is that these masks don't stop the virus. However, because we are to obey those in authority over us- providing it is not something sinful, Christians must be seen to be obeying those who rule over us. Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you. Hebrews 13:17

Another reason I will wear a mask is because of love. People generally feel more secure when others wear a mask, so out of love and respect for their concerns, I will put one on.  For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith. Romans 12:13


To my way of thinking, I feel it's like eating meat on Good Friday: if it offends someone, I will refrain- yet I will glady enjoy meat if it doesn't cause another to stumble. It's all about respect and love. (1 Corinthians 10:27-31)

If we obey the health authorities, we will be able to say with impunity that we have not been part of the reason that this accursed virus has spread.

My little granddaughter Taylah aged 8 did a comical video of the apparent uselessness of wearing a mask. She makes a valid point that if the intestinal gasses can escape the body, a piece of underwear and some trousers or slacks, then how can a virus be stopped by a flimsy mask?

I will wear a mask because of love, but I have my doubts about it's efficacy... and regarding Tay's astute deduction- I have to agree!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

If any of them that believe not bid you [to a feast], and ye be disposed to go; whatsoever is set before you, eat, asking no question for conscience sake. But if any man say unto you, This is offered in sacrifice unto idols, eat not for his sake that shewed it, and for conscience sake: for the earth [is] the Lord's, and the fulness thereof: Conscience, I say, not thine own, but of the other: for why is my liberty judged of another [man's] conscience? For if I by grace be a partaker, why am I evil spoken of for that for which I give thanks? Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.  1 Corinthians 10:27-31

Let him lead


God created man directly under Him with a wife equal in value but in submission to her husband. Where there are two heads in a marriage, wherein the man is not allowed to be responsible under God for his decisions, there is the distinct possibility that he will feel emasculated. 

Submission is not understood. Mainly because we think that our men will take advantage of us and rule the roost without any desire to know how we feel or think about something. 

A man who loves his wife will consult with her and value her insight and will then make a decision that they are both in agreement with. If not, he is out of line in the Divine Order. 

We talk things through, evaluate the best way to go then we allow our husband to make the final decision. He is responsible under God for his decisions, ours is to pray and support him. 

God has decreed that we wives allow our husbands to lead. He is to be head of our home, even if he is unsaved. He is to treated with respect! As long as our husband is not asking us to sin, he is to be obeyed.

In no way are we meant to be treated as doormats. That is not what God wants in a Christian marriage either. We are equal to our husband yet we have distinctly separate roles. These roles are in keeping with how we are created, and they actually enhance our femininity whilst bolstering our husband's masculinity.

If we submit to our husband, we will be staying within God's Umbrella of Protection in the Divine Order.

A man yearns to be respected, a woman yearns to be loved. If we emasculate our husband by usurping his God-given role, he will resent us. Respect will bring out his better qualities, and he will feel that he can love a woman who highly regards him. 

We love God, therefore we submit to our husband because of that love. Let him lead.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. Ephesians 5:23-30

What a godly home maker is not

A godly keeper at home is absolutely not a lesser human being, a mindless robot, or a placid doormat under submission to all men; rather, she is created in the very image of God and of equal worth and value compared to man (Genesis 1:26-28). She is the crown of her husband (Proverbs 12:4), a helper suitable for him (Genesis 2:18). Because she trusts God’s wisdom in establishing perfect order for His creation, she willingly submits to her own husband as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22-24). by Jennie Chancey and Stacey McDonald 
Certainly a woman is not a mindless robot as in the film Stepford Wives. We are expected to use our God-given intelligence. God expects us to be women who are sensible and intelligent but discretely so. He has given us role models in scripture. Not one of the many women of valour mentioned in scripture could be accused of being air-heads. As in everything, we are to be balanced.

Being a woman does not mean that we are intellectually inferior to a man. Neither does getting married and being submissive mean that we make ourselves into Stepford wives and put our brains on the shelf, letting our husbands do all our thinking for us. Whilst our husband should be allowed to lead and make the final decision, that does not mean that our opinion and insight is to be ignored.

Let us hold our head up high and humbly voice our opinion and think for ourselves. The key is balance and humility... something the truly feminine keeper of home will employ in her own life.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. Ephesians 5:23-30

Letter to those remarrying


As most of you already know, I am a remarried woman after a divorce from a violence-filled 25 year marriage. In my new marriage we have 6 adult children and 15 grandchildren plus a great-granddaughter between us. We have been married for 22 years. This can make for lots of misunderstandings when a new marriage takes place.

This discussion is not to debate the theological issues or fault-finding. It is to encourage you in making a truly fresh start as you seek to blend not only your lives, but that of any children of previous marriages. So here a few thoughts that come to mind.

Try not to fall into the trap of comparing former spouses or marriages. I think it is detrimental to the forming of a new family bond to liken your new marriage with your past one or to compare habits, lifestyle etc. Woe be to the spouse who voices an unfavourable comparison to his/her spouse- that is a powder keg of gunpowder in a new marriage!

Make a pact before the marriage where there are his and her children to treat them all equitably and restrain from making comparisons between yours and theirs.

It is critical to the new marriage and family that past issues have been discussed and sorted out if possible. Never in the heat of an argument should it be said that "you sound just like he/she did!" This is a whole new ball game!

Resolve to keep the priorities of a Christian home as they should be:

God

Husband

Wife

Children

Home

Church

Do not enlist your children as back up should an argument arise! They are no longer part of the former marriage but should be included into the new marriage as children of that marriage and not used as ammunition or cover.

Keep unkind comments about the other spouse's children, ex-spouse and family to yourself- it is counter-productive to the peace of your new marriage to drag that up.

Concentrate on fostering a peaceful home for the nurturing of children who are undergoing the test of a life-time and try to see the situation through their eyes. They probably are grieving over the loss of their dream of Mum and Dad getting back together. Be understanding and compassionate.

Even if you cannot in all honesty say you love them as your own, show your step-children Christ-like love and compassion and guide them towards acceptance of this new situation.

Remember that some things will trigger a flash back for you or your spouse from the previous marriage and try to be forgiving and understanding of them or yourself.

Above all, make Christ the Head of your home and marriage and commit this marriage into His keeping. Remember the reasons for the first marriage's demise and try to learn from it so as not to repeat any mistakes of the past.

Ask forgiveness from the LORD for any fault of your own and then move on to a new life of faith and forgiveness, resolving to make this marriage and new family solid on the firm foundation of Christ and His peace and love, and particularly, of His forgiveness and grace.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks

But thou, O Lord, [art] a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth. Psalm 86:15

When a woman is abused...

As most of you know, I was a badly abused wife for 25 long years... when I found this post today, I cried.  It was as if the writer had seen inside my heart...

One can heal from spousal abuse if they are lucky enough to break free of it, but as well as physical scars, there are often emotional scars that never go away...

If you are an abused wife who is in danger, or your children are in danger, it is imperative that you get to safety somehow.  Unfortunately, many women die at the hands of a husband or partner....

There is terrible advice being given to abused Sisters today.... and in particular via Debi Pearl.

For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for [one] covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.  Malachi 2:16 

Malachi 2:16 tells us that God hates divorce BUT He also hates the violence and treachery some use against their spouse, thus making the marriage an unsafe place to be....  here are those words in the post  by Joyful Mother.... 

(Statistics tell us that approximately one in three women are abused at some point in their life. That means that if you yourself are not abused then surely you know someone who is.)

If a Christian woman is abused by her husband, whether the abuse is emotional, physical, spiritual or sexual, it isn’t because
she didn’t submit enough,
she hasn’t tried hard enough,
she didn’t love him enough,
she didn’t spend enough time in prayer for her husband
and for their marriage,
that she didn’t study the Word
or didn’t believe the Word
or didn’t try to obey the Word with everything within her.

If she gets to the point where she is thinking about separating from her husband, or even divorcing him, after many hours of prayer and many hours of Bible study and more tears than you could ever even begin to imagine, it doesn’t necessarily follow that
she never loved him,
she is a feminist,
that she wants to be separated or divorced,
that she doesn’t believe in biblical womanhood,
that she didn’t long for a traditional marriage,
that she didn’t try hard enough to be a good wife,
that she isn’t a good Christian.

If you should happen to meet a woman who has been abused, you will probably think that she is
distant,
cold,
self-involved,
shy.

Most likely this is because she is
shattered,
broken,
alone
and confused.

If you have never walked in her steps, if you’ve never heard the words designed to destroy you coming from the mouth of the one who swore before God and others that he would love you forever, if you’ve never been, literally and physically backed into a corner with absolutely no way out, then you probably have absolutely no clue how
betrayed,
devastated,
shocked,
heart-broken
and hurt an abused woman feels.

If a woman has been beaten down, physically or emotionally, and she is brave enough to seek help,
go to her,
applaud her,
pray for her and with her,
and help her,
because, most likely, she has absolutely no idea what she is going to do next.

Her fear and confusion will be even more evident, more overwhelming, more devastating to her if she has children. Remember that and love her and love her children, also.
Comfort them,
pray for them,
listen to them,
do something kind for them,
let them know that someone cares
even if their daddy doesn’t.

Emotional abuse, physical abuse, spiritual abuse and sexual abuse of wives is real and far more common than most folks realize. It happens even in what others perceive to be “Christian” families. Even if the abuse is just aimed at the wife, the children will still be injured from the fallout. Frequently, though, it isn’t just fallout that hurts them; abusers of wives often go on to become abusers of children, too.

Often abuse doesn’t stop with just words even if that is where it starts. If a man will break his wife with his words, many times, he will manifest force against her somehow, someway, sometime. It just might bleed out to the children, also.Abuse isn’t the wife’s fault. It isn’t the children’s fault. No one deserves to be hurt like this.

If you know about a case of domestic abuse, consider that perhaps God has put you here with this family and has prepared you for such a time as this. If so, you have an obligation to
pray,
to love,
to be available to her as she tries to rebuild her life
and the lives of her children,
to listen
and listen again and again,
to cry with her,
to protect,
to defend,
to get her and her children to safety if need be
and to help her start over.

When it is over, when she has taken the step to protect her and her children that she never dreamed that she would ever have to take, remember that she doesn’t need condemnation, she needs assurance that she is accepted and safe with you and in her church.

Keep in mind that…
her dreams are gone, help her to dream new ones;
her life is shattered, help her to build it again;
her children need love and guidance, see yourself as part of their healing;
she herself needs a friend, be one
and always, always pray for her and for her children.......... end of quote  -by Joyful Mom... thank you!


Blessings, Glenys

For the LORD,  the God of Israel,  saith that he hateth putting away:  for [one] covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.  Malachi 2:16