Morning Cuppas With Glenys : Our Church

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Taken for granted

And so another week of being at home is upon us. The future is uncertain and looks a bit grim. However, there are some things surfacing out of this that are good.

There is a growing awareness of the value of living life intentionally. Because the Corona Virus is no respecter of age or gender and can be so easily acquired, there is a deeper awareness that tomorrow is not guaranteed. Life is not taken for granted any more.

Our families that live with us may get on our nerves during the isolation, but with it comes a bond or connection to each other as we brave this outbreak.

Social media and mobile phones have been great in bringing us closer in communication, but this isolation has created in most of us a longing for physical contact with those who do not live with us. There is nothing like a hug, and kiss or a hold of the hand.

There has been a greater appreciation of the first responders who truly risk their lives to keep us or our loved ones alive if they contract the virus. They are to be honoured above all others. No longer taken for granted: they are the epitomy of servanthood and sacrifice.

The chance to revive family ties or marriages is here with no work to keep us apart, and intimacy both in marriage and with the parenting relationship have the opportunity to thrive. The family is no longer taken for granted. Nor is love.

So much is changing, but as at Easter, traditional worship was replaced by streamed online services, and social distancing when at the chemist or supermarket are enforced: helping life retain some normalcy and stability.

Rona has forced the whole world to stop and reassess and has found us guilty. Guilty of believing life would just continue as it was and largely taken for granted.

There is so much negativity brought on by this virus, but one thing is positive from all of this: we will never again take our freedom, our worship, our family or our friends for granted.

"So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom" Psalm 90:12

No longer taken for granted

And so another week of being at home is upon us. The future is uncertain and looks a bit grim. However, there are some things surfacing out of this that are good.

Our families that live with us may get on our nerves during the isolation, but with it comes a bond or connection to each other as we brave this outbreak.

Rona has forced the whole world to stop and reassess and has found us guilty. Guilty of believing life would just continue as it was and largely taken for granted.

There is so much negativity brought on by this virus, but one thing is positive from all of this: we will never again take our freedom, our worship, our family or our friends for granted.

"So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom" Psalm 90:12

Sometimes you just have to move to another beach

So, I was just sitting having a cuppa, thinking about previous years, mulling over my life. It seems that when you are nearing 70 that you have the time and length of years to do so.

My beloved husband, Chris has just turned 71, and I was reflecting on our 23 years of marriage and I was quietly thanking the LORD for him.

As often happens, my mind reflected on the different ways this marriage has blessed me, and it suddenly dawned on me that the reason for my divorce was not that I was a bad wife to my ex-husband.

You probably already know that I had a very violent 25 year marriage and it resulted in such trauma and loss of self esteem and confidence, that I seriously thought I would remain single for life.

Then three years after I left my ex-husband, I met Chris. He is an answer to prayer, and he tells me I am to him. A year later, we married. It is so very different from the first marriage, but I am basically the same type of wife to Chris. And he loves me.

I wondered why I was so detested and disrespected by my ex-husband, especially as my behaviour was loving and respectful to him. I prayed constantly for him, went to marriage counselling at church by myself, and believed that one day he would love me and not take his anger out on me. Yet, no matter how much I tried to please him in all things, he never was happy.

Truly, I think over the years, I wore more food than he ate, and cooking for him was nerve wracking. Yet Chris finds my cooking good and never complains. So it wasn't that.

Often I would try to find out how I could please my ex-husband and he would never tell me what was wrong. He would tell me how awful a personality I had and that I had to change, and when I asked him what specifically annoyed him for me to change and ask forgiveness for, he wouldn't give me an answer.

This not only led to anxiety/panic attacks, but seriously eroded any modicum of confidence I had after my traumatic childhood.

Such was my morbid introspection, that I ended up unable to eat and eventually unable to stop shaking. I spent a day in a psychiatric hospital where I was diagnosed with extreme stress/anxiety and advised to leave my errant husband.

After years of telling me I was crazy whenever I reacted to his abuse and punches, he had the gall to demand I come home as I wasn't crazy and didn't need hospitalisation. I was discharged into my GP's care and left my ex-husband after another 7 years of trying to win him over and have a happy marriage.

The night before I left, I told him how unhappy I was. I also asked him to go to marriage counselling with me or I would be leaving in the morning. He told me he wasn't going because he had done nothing wrong and it was all my fault that he hated me. He said I could divorce him but he wasn't going to pay for it. I did.

That morning after he went to work, I filled two garbage bags with my clothes and baby albums and Bible, and left. I was shattered and heart-broken that he wouldn't take any responsibility and when that happens, it is pretty certain that their heart is no longer in staying married.

I went to business college and later got a job, a nice home and some confidence. But the trauma and head messing left me empty, and sad that I had invested 25 long years in a marriage where I was never loved or even wanted. It left me afraid that he would be proven correct in that I would live alone forever, without even knowing what was wrong with me. It also left me with PTSD.

With a very happy marriage of 23 years this coming Sunday, my conclusions are that no matter how much you try to appease an abuser, no matter how much you turn yourself inside out for answers to improve yourself, no matter how you look, or talk, or cook, or save, or mother, or clean or love, you will never do enough to please them. And you can't ever please them because they don't want to be placated.

Sadly, sometimes to save yourself, you just have to pick up your beach umbrella, shake off the sand, and move to another beach.

He delivers me from my enemies.You also lift me up above those who rise against me; You have delivered me from the violent man. Psalm 18:48

Perfect for all generations

In a world that is constantly changing in standards and morality, it is comforting to know that every time we read scripture that it is unchanging.

God's Word addresses all mankind's needs and is an infallible guide to living righteously. Most importantly, it is the only way in which we can truly know God and take His offer of salvation.

As with all else in our world, many people are constantly picking and choosing verses and adapting them to suit their own plans and agenda. They bend God's Word to suit themselves...

No doubt we have heard people declare that God's Word was written for mankind many years ago, and surely is not relevant to today.

We have all heard similar to this: "Surely in this day and age, we are not expected to..."

to marry instead of cohabiting
to get married before having children
to be celibate until marriage
to keep our marriage vows
to continue with an unplanned pregnancy
to submit to our husband as unto the LORD
to serve our family as a stay at home wife and mother
to trust the LORD with our family size
to honour our father and mother
to bring our children up before the LORD
to tithe a tenth of our income
to teach our children about God
to pray and to teach our children to pray
to give thanks for our food
to teach our children to respect the authorities
to educate our children at home or at a Christian school
to watch over our household and guard it zealously
to watch our speech, speaking in love
to train our daughters in homemaking
to teach our sons to respect women
to remain in a marriage that is causing unhappiness (I am not talking about abuse)
to train ourselves to take personal responsibility in our actions and to teach our children to
to teach our children that God created marriage for a man and a woman and that the homosexual life style is sinful

God's Word is true and unchangeable. This brings us a certain comfort in knowing that we have direction in Christian living. We have direction in bringing up our children to be God fearing citizens.

God Himself is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. His Word does not return to Him void. He will fulfill all His promises to us.

By taking His Word seriously, we will live a life that is not only satisfying to us, but pleasing to God.

The wise woman will listen to it, live it and pass it on to her children through example. It is the very stability of the Word that is our rock as well as our salvation and it is perfect for all generations.

“In the fear of the LORD [is] strong confidence: and his children shall have a place of refuge ’ Proverbs 14:26

A Godly heritage

I love this picture of two children playing "here is the church, here is the steeple: open the doors, here's all the people!" Do you remember it?

We used to play it as children, but I have to wonder if children these days would even know what a steeple was. Or a church.

It is a precious and sacred thing to bring one's children to a saving faith in Christ. Although my ex-husband was not a believer, I brought our children up in the Christian faith.

I took them to Sunday school and then church. They were christened as babies, but later on they expressed a desire to be baptised by immersion which we did.

Sadly, as they grew into teenagers, they refused to go and as I had no backup from their father, they slept in on Sundays.

But I kept praying for them and half of them are living for Jesus, with the other half backslidden.

It grieves me that it is so, but we cannot live their lives for them. Our responsibility is to tell them of Jesus and lead them to a saving faith. I have done this, and I must leave the results up to God.

With the Rapture being imminent, I have talked about this to all my children and was pleased that the ones who are living a righteous life are prepared and looking forward to seeing the LORD. One actually thanked me for bringing him up as a Christian.

The two backslidden ones listened politely to my admonition to get right with the LORD as time is short. Being non committal, I told them that they had been warned and I would not discuss this again with them unless they wanted to know more about the faith.

I spend a lot of time in prayer for my children and now grandchildren. I have to trust God with their hearts, as I can't dictate matters of faith.

It gives me much peace to know that God only expects me to bring my children up unto Him and doesn't hold me responsible for their life choices. I would only be guilty if I didn't bring them up in Christ.

Bringing them up in the faith wasn't easy with being married to a violent hot headed unbeliever who thwarted me at every turn and taught them to disobey and disrespect me.

But I persisted in teaching them of the faith, and it has brought much peace and comfort to those of them who love the LORD. And it has given the others something to think about as they reflect on their backsliding ways...

As I said, passing on our faith is a precious and sacred thing to do- for there's nothing that can beat a Godly heritage.

The soul that sinneth, it shall die. The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son: the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him. Ezekiel 18:20

Humility and meekness becomes us!

Over the past forty years of being a Christian, I have witnessed to people without saying a word. Everything has been done in His Name and I have been very open about being a Christian. But I never preached at them.

Many people in our neighbourhood have come to me when in trouble and I have prayed for them. I have been called upon to exorcise homes and bless homes. I have given handkerchiefs prayed over by the pastor and anointed with oil to people facing risky surgeries, who were afraid and needed a touch from the LORD. I helped sick neighbours and visited hospitals in a Ministry group at church.

People just seemed to call on me when they needed a pastor and were unchurched and unsaved. And some asked me about becoming a Christian. Not all became one, but that was their choice. Some were saved.

The reason I am telling you this is that we can't segregate ourselves from the world. We must work amongst the unsaved without pride or judgments. It is not helpful to insist on the unsaved acting as saved before you minister to them. God loved us when we were still sinners. Besides, we were just like them once: in need of a Saviour. We are saved by Grace!

I have found that people who are unsaved but who call on believers in time of trouble are already tender to the things of God. There's nothing attractive to non believers who are searching, like a self-righteous, proud, overly pious Christian who looks down on them. People know instinctively when someone is doing that.

This serving of people who as yet do not know the LORD should be done in a seemingly ordinary but loving way so that people see Jesus in you. That is the aim of all Christians who are trying to be Christ-like. To draw attention to Him, not them.

When or if questions are asked about our faith, it is important that we share the love of Christ and what He has done for us and will do for them, in a simple way. Give them hope. Give them a reason to accept Jesus as LORD. But remember to include them in the hope you have, and be gentle but sincere.

As servants of the Most High, remember our example: Jesus. Putting on humility and meekness becomes us and glorifies Him.

But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: 1 Peter 3:15

Church at home

Chronic illness and pain bring us a new normal. Often it is very different to life in the past. But there's nothing we can do to change our circumstances. We have to adapt.

I do home church now. Chris has always played Songs of Praise on Channel 2 and we sing along, I listen to some sermons that my local church pastor preaches... (he's good) and then I listen to worship music on my computer.

I certainly miss the corporate worship, but it's the way it is now and I have to mark the LORD'S Day as best I can. We are OK with that. I often take Communion by myself. It is meaningful to me.

Not attending church is not the ideal, but then having to find out our new normal isn't ideal either. By worshiping at home and making an effort to mark the LORD'S Day, my spirit is nourished nearly as much as if I attended church.

Apart from listening to Songs of Praise, my morning routine of worship and time with the LORD look a lot like Sunday. That's what I tell myself anyway. I can't allow myself to feel false guilt over something beyond my control. In church or at home, my commitment is always with Him.

"For the eyes of the LORD range though out the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him." 2 Chronicles 16:9

Feminism has burst our bubble

When I was a young woman feminism was just rearing its ugly head. It swept through womankind in the Western world and excited them as they plowed through piles of ironing and household chores. It promised liberation from drudgery and new freedom in the world outside the home.

No longer was it acceptable to be a home maker, serving our husband and family, but it denigrated us women, making us appear as mindless creatures who couldn't think for ourselves. We women, happy to bear and raise our children, were despised and even pitied.

It became easier to have an abortion and with the advent of The Pill, the reproductive cycle of womankind was controlled. Fornication, adultery and promiscuity became the norm with women often becoming the more sexually aggressive of the sexes. With these changes and with the ensuing disrespect for their husbands, no fault divorce was made law and many many marriages failed.

Young girls were not shown home making skills but were taught to study hard and go to university and have a career. Many found to their dismay later in life, that they didn't know how to run a home or cook. The newest generation became latch key children and often came home to an empty house.

Feminism was touted as a woman's right, along with having a career and not having children later on if they even married. And like many feminists, many found that by the time they were ready for children, that they were unable to conceive.

Feminism for the most part, has been successful. The woman who longs to be a wife and mother and not work outside the home is treated contemptuously by society in general, even in church circles. She often is made to feel inferior every time the question is asked as to what she does for a living. Apparently, being a woman who works hard in her home is nothing warranting praise.

For the woman who wants to have a lot of children, there is nothing but raised eyebrows and smart comments when they find out another child is expected. It is a common thing today to be ousted from society because one does not follow the world's way but delights in being a Proverbs 31 wife.

However, there is now a draw back to feminism, with many women wanting to be stay at home wives and mothers, but such is the thrust of feminism that many husbands do not want their wives to give up work. Women are therefore stuck in the rut that feminism has created for them.

Pregnancy is often something that women are made to curtail or postpone because of their career, and the longing to have a child is often suppressed with a great burden of guilt to boot.

Feminism goes against God's Divine Order and His plan for biblical womanhood. It has done a lot of harm to women, marriage and families and has made women ill from trying to keep it all together.

Far from the freedom that they strove for, feminism has created a bondage for women and actually limits their potential. There is no way back for society generally and there's no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Feminism has burst our bubble.

Isaiah 3:11-13 Woe unto the wicked! it shall be ill with him: for the reward of his hands shall be given him. As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths. The LORD standeth up to plead, and standeth to judge the people.

About this blog

Once if you were to sit with me sharing a cuppa, it wouldn’t take long before we spoke about housework being repetitious and boring….which, let’s face it: it is! We would probably touch on the fact that we are stuck at home whilst our husbands get to be out in the world away from the monotony. Before too long, we would be having a real pity party bemoaning our lot as wives, mothers and homemakers. Once.

I say “once” because the LORD has led me through the path of Homemaker’s Discontent and has graciously deposited me in Contentment Valley. He has shown me that He has given all homemakers the choice part in life. How I regret that I didn’t realise this years ago, but later is better than never and I am grateful for the realisation that God is with me and is interested in my daily activities.

There is no secret to my realisation: it is simply having a heart change. An attitude that says that we will accept that God’s Word is true and that we will submit to Him and live our life accordingly.

To live our life as God has ordained for the Christian wife and mother, we must know what our priorities in life are. Our priorities as wives and mothers following Christ are:

Husband

Children

Home

Church

When you put God’s priorities in order, He is being served first, second, third, fourth and fifth. If you are a wife and mother, then you have your calling: you don’t have to go around looking for other callings. You have been called to serve God and to birth and raise Warriors for Him.

“Morning Cuppas With Glenys” is the name I have chosen for this blog because I love to encourage Christian women in their most precious calling. As my usual habit is to have a morning cuppa and spend time in the Word and prayer, I thought that title would be fitting...

I will be sharing my heart as an older Sister in Christ and in the spirit of Titus 2 and Proverbs 31. Generally my posts will be in the five categories of service: God, Husband, Children, Home and Church.

A lot of conservative Christian sites paint an unrealistic picture of life- they never seem to have any failures and never admit to any if they do. This is misleading to the Body of Christ. I try to be honest in my blog and believe personal transparency is crucial to helping and encouraging each other.

It is my prayer that you will catch the beauty and freedom we have in Christ by accepting our marriage, children and home as our first and most precious calling and ministry.

“See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” Ephesians 5:15-17Please note that all posts regarding members of my family or my friends are posted with their permission.