Morning Cuppas With Glenys : Proverbs 31

Showing posts with label Proverbs 31. Show all posts

Soul mates for life

Most of us married people want to be happy in our marriage. We want it to last forever and we want our husband to be happy. A big part of a man's happiness involves how loved, respected and appreciated he feels. So how do we make him feel that?

With Chris, he appreciates me listening to him and giving him my full attention. So when he talks to me about things that I have no interest in like cars and motorbikes and so on, I make myself listen and interact with him. This is a real test of my patience for me because we are together 24/7 every day of the year.

He doesn't help me much in the home because of his own health issues, so when he does, I thank him sincerely. Usually I give him a kiss as well because his love language is touch. Fortunately mine is as well.

I think honest appreciation and praise help build a man's esteem and I often tell Chris what I love about him and we celebrate little anniversaries of events like when we got engaged, our first kiss and so on. It keeps our love alive.

Although once I said that Chris is a good man but a horrible patient, I don't bag him to others- especially family. I think that is something that a lot of married people do and it makes a man feel anything but appreciated and respected.

Like most people if they are honest, we have had an occasional fight, but generally I would say that we both feel respected, appreciated and loved.

On the private side of marriage, I feel it's important to be affectionate and responsive to your husband and never belittle him if he truly isn't a Don Juon.

In regards to parenting, I believe a man can be shot down in flames in front of his children if we are not united in front of them. Respect and appreciation is necessary so as not to usurp his authority as a father and leader of the home.

A man's provision for his family should never be called into question. He is usually spinning his wheel as fast as he can at work and we should never belittle him or grumble about how much other men are earning more than him.

One should never emasculate one's husband by suggesting he "get a real job" when he is toiling at a job that some consider beneath them.

We must show our appreciation and respect of him as bread winner by supporting him in whatever line of work he's in. Respect and appreciation make a man feel loved.

It is within a wife's power to keep a man happy and feeling respected and appreciated. Any man can be married, but not happy. Make sure your husband a happily married man so that you will be soul mates for life.

For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 1 Peter 3:5-6

The foundation of a happy home

If I were to sit down with you for a cuppa and we started to discuss housework, it wouldn’t take us long to agree that it can be terribly boring and monotonous! It is thankless and repetitive and there often is very little instant job satisfaction! I think we would do well to remember something…

Although we tend to find keeping home is often a lonely business, we must consider that housework is indeed a valid occupation and a worthy chore and it is virtually the same the world over. As we start our daily routines, we join millions of people worldwide who must do the same thing if they want to live in a home that is relatively clean and inviting…

Chris and I recently went around Victoria in a fifth wheeler, driving many long miles, and I remember thinking of the many clothes lines filled with clean clothes along the way. Testimony that someone had taken the time to do it- probably lamenting the tediousness of doing laundry just as we are!

As we passed the high country and it snowed, it was so comforting to see the smoke billowing from the Coonara fires and open fireplaces, again testimony that someone had chopped the wood, prepared the fire and most likely cleaned up the ashes and dusted down sooty places. But be that as it may, the end result would have been worth it. I pondered how cosy it would have been to return home to the warmth of this homestead after facing the extreme cold doing farm chores!

I love collecting graphics of cosy homes and homemaking scenes…and I often reflect on the work behind the well-lit cottages with their chimneys and the kitchen scenes with baked pies cooling at the open kitchen window. Often there is a beloved cat or dog sitting in front of the fire….all making a very captivating homely scene. But have you ever stopped to think that said animals must be fed? Those cooling pies must have been prepared and to do that shopping must have been done and apples peeled….and then there would have been a mountain of dishes to wash!

Every facet of housework actually builds the foundation of a happy home. And tedious as it is, it is something we would do well to embrace with at least a willing spirit, if not a happy heart. I am speaking to myself as I write this, for I am chief among murmuring and indolent homemakers at times…

My personal prayer is that God will help me develop a grateful heart and a willing spirit….I do long to be a good wife and homemaker…so as soon as I complete this post, I am going to bless my home and family with a thoroughly cleaned house. My heart is prepared, and I am willing: I just need God to give me the strength….but I think of the end result and push onwards: the end results will be most gratifying even if short-lived! Cleanliness is the foundation of a happy home.

“Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully” 1 Timothy 5:14

Memories of a vintage housekeeper

My mother was a good homemaker. Some of my earliest memories were of her hanging out washing on her long line held up by props. She used to boil up the copper and honestly, she had the whitest washing ever. She used Rinso to wash the clothes and Lux Flakes for delicates.

When I was really young, we didn't have hot water on tap, so Mum would boil up the kettle, fill the sink- a single sink- and she used a metal cage thing with slivers of Velvet soap in it to soap up the water. Steel wool was the go for saucepans and the plates were washed with a foam rubber sponge.

Whilst she was washing the dishes, she would have the kettle on again to rinse them. Then we children would dry them for her. We had metered gas by way of a machine with a coin slot in it in the laundry. When the gas got low, Mum would put sixpence or a shilling in it...

We all bathed daily and our hot water was heated by way of a chip heater over the bath. I can still remember fighting over who was the child who was to be seated under it. It was scary to a kid's mind. In fact, I sometimes still dream of it- making sure the water tap was on before lighting the pilot light.

Pride of place in our living room was the clothes horse aka clothes airer. Mum was very careful to air all our clothes and she spent quite a lot of time arranging clothes on it daily.

Mum had it tough too because we four children were bed wetters. She worked very hard to keep up with it all.

With all her neighbours finishing their chores by 9am, poor Mum was still washing the sheets. In fact, when they called on her for a cuppa, she would be flustered because she was inundated with work.

Mondays Mum "did through". She vacuumed, dusted, cleaned the bath and toilet and ironed. She also polished the linoleum in the kitchen with her Hoover polisher. It was quite a chore, with applying polish, buffing it with the machine then redoing it with the lambswool pads. Her Monday routine was as regular as the sun coming up in the morning.

Everyday, she would also make the beds, do her washing, think about what was for tea that night, clean her kitchen and sweep the carpets with a carpet sweeper. Routines were written in stone.

Mum didn't have a car, in fact Dad didn't even have one. She would catch the bus into town and shop for groceries which were delivered to our house. No plastic bags: the bags were brown paper...

I remembered how hard she worked the day I held her gnarled hand as she passed. She certainly loved her home and family...

I am so glad that God honours the hardworking woman. In writing her eulogy, I included that well-known and loved verse from Proverbs 31 and when it was read, everyone of us nodded our heads in agreement and acknowledgement. She was blessed.

Memories of a well kept house we were never ashamed to call home will always be dear, along with the memories of a tired but diligent homemaker and her wonderful serving of our family, and then her second husband's.

Yes, they're happy memories of a vintage housekeeper

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Proverbs 31:28

Don't feel guilty for being a woman

As a friend of mine said, women are made to feel so guilty for being women- wanting to marry, stay home and keep house and mother our children! We have nothing to thank the feminist movement for. .. our identity as women has been trampled on and we who wish to stay at home have had that dream sullied by strident women who have penis envy!

We women are created to nurture. It is in our nature to pick up a dolly and embrace her from the time we can grasp her and bring her to our chest and lips... it is entirely natural for us to offer that dolly sustenance from a toy bottle or even our breast, in imitation of our mothers feeding younger siblings...

How many of us have received a cup of tea from tiny teacups, sipping it slowly to delight our little hostesses who are still too young to be entrusted with real teapots and teacups? Or watched the toddler girl trying to tuck her baby into her tiny dolly's pram, covering its head completely and far too young to really tuck her in? -yet her tenderness and concern is charming to watch...

Now the feminists try to tell us that we are responsible for training our daughters to become servile, and meek and weak, forcing them into a life of subservience that thwarts their potential both personally and financially. It is easy to see that the majority of these feminists have not mothered sons who will toddle up to a dolly and proceed to poke at her eyes and twist her joints and disrobe her in an attempt to see how she works... his interest is one of inquisitiveness.... he too is doing what comes naturally to him. Working things out in a practical way...

Feminists have been instrumental in promoting contraception and abortion on demand. They have stolen a lot of women's dreams of being mothers and have often lied to them about consequences that they say are detrimental to them- mostly career achievements that in the end leave them with empty arms and ashes in their mouth.

Even the married woman is convinced that her desire to be a mother is misplaced, especially if her desire is for a large family, and sadly even in some churches, this is seen to be an ambition that is frowned upon. Yet God Himself has placed the desire to bear children and to bring children up, in our hearts. Yet many feel guilty that they have these desires.... desires which are God given and good.

What God considers of great importance, creating a happy home for the raising of children unto Him, with the blessing of marriage and a committed father, is being destroyed by feminists who are often self-proclaimed lesbian man-haters... women who see marriage as a male invention of tyranny and control, and pregnancy as the undesirable biological entrapment of their gender...

From an early age a little girl will often be fascinated by brides and all the trimmings of a wedding, and again this is natural. Yet feminists have now managed to influence girls to delay getting married or to cohabit without expecting or even wanting to be married, and again we find the women of today who secretly long to be married feeling guilty for desiring something that really is their birthright as women. Feminism has taken away that which is precious to our identity as women- being a wife and enjoying the security and esteem that being married brings to a woman who loves her man...

Whilst some feminists did marry and have children, most divorced as their feminist ways weren't conducive to a happy marriage. Still others cohabited but remained voluntarily childless... many took lesbian lovers..

Now not everyone is called to be married and mothers, but these feminist women have so trampled on our natural identity as women that young women and girls are feeling guilty for being women! They are so confused with what they want in life that they are not only guilty that they want marriage, home and children but that they are also afraid. They are often forced to excel at school and university in order to provide for themselves, and are often in the position of finding out that even though they do now want marriage and motherhood, that they have left their run too late.

Thanks to feminism making women guilty and afraid of their womanhood, many women who in the natural scheme of things, should already be wives and mothers, are doomed to remain single. Or, hearing the biological clock ticking, they find their only option to at least become mothers limited to a one night stand or artificial insemination.... hardly ideal for the foundation of a new family...

I know this is true because I have an acquaintance who has fallen for the feminists' lies and who now has found herself in exactly that position.... we are waiting to see how she approaches being childless, which reportedly happened to Germaine Greer after she discovered she did in fact want a child but was unable to have one....

All this feminist clap-trap has done nothing for womankind but heap coals of fire on young women's heads. What should be a natural God-given course of life for a woman has been thwarted and defiled... Countless women have actually become victims of feminists' lies and are destined to live out lonely sad lives... lives rich in worldly possessions but poor in those things of eternal value.

I am sorry for the young women today who feel guilty for being a woman.... I pray that they will come to realise that they are victims of feminist women who tried to liberate them from the good things God had for them, but who instead bound them up in chains of regret and longings that they will have to endure for the rest of their lonely lives...

Please ladies, don't let feminists make you feel guilty for being a woman...

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. Psalm 127:3

A marriage follows a wedding

A wedding comes with a lot of preparation and planning. As the day draws near, it is very busy and sometimes even frantic.

For us women, our own wedding brings to fruition years and years of imagination and dreaming. As we all know, this starts from our earliest years.

It is often joked about, but unfortunately it is true that usually the groom takes a back seat and is consulted on just minor matters. After which he basically just has to turn up on the day. This can lead to a problem. Often a groom can get the impression that all that is important is the wedding and that he comes second in all the busyness of wedding plans.

Ladies, it is imperative that we nurture our relationship and ensure that our fiance is not feeling left out or unloved. Women are prone to doing this as we get engrossed in the newest chapter of our life and we often see this when a new baby comes into the home.

We must plan for a wedding but we also must keep it in perspective and realise that after a wedding, a marriage follows. A wedding lasts for a day, a marriage lasts a life time.

The tending of our relationship in regards not putting our fiance last, should start before the wedding day and should continue after the wedding with a marriage until death do you part.

A wedding is just the beginning of a life together. So we would do well to remember that our marriage will take effort for it to endure and to be a happy union.

Being a beautiful bride is the easy part: most women look radiant on their wedding day. But that's only the start of a marriage.

Let's remember to concentrate on being a beautiful wife and mother- a job that is both as challenging as it is satisfying - but a job that is far more important in eternal values than having a long veil and white dress.

"Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband." Ephesians 5:33

Who gets the first-fruits of you?

This probably is a silly sounding title for a post, but what I am asking is: who gets the cream off the top of the milk when it comes to getting the best from you? We are so many things to so many people that we can at times be spread quite thin and we can find that we are giving the first-fruits of ourselves to people, projects and things that do not deserve first place in our life's priorities.

Because we are so many things to so many people, and we only have so many hours in our day to be that special person, I have to ask: who really gets the best of you? God? Husband? Children? Home? friends? extended family? work? or church? Is your best given to those who do not truly benefit from your best? Are you so bound up in cleaning your house that you forget to play with your babies? Are you so busy spinning your wheel that your husband gets the dregs of your best self at the end of a busy day? Did you hit the floor running this morning and forget to have some time with the LORD? and do you fall into bed exhausted and strangely discontented and frustrated because you haven't accomplished half of what you set out to do today and you feel out of control? I have been there- and still am sometimes.

I think it is then that we have to sit back and look at what is key in our life- who warrants the first-fruits of our being- our person- our spirit-our time. Do we really want to shower our lovely smiles on strangers in shops but scowl at our spouse? Do we want to be caught up in soap operas on TV or endless shopping trips when we could have spent that time playing with our children? And could we have organised our day better so that our house was clean and tidied up before our husband came home to find us agitatedly trying to do in 10 mins what should have been done earlier on in the day? Is he greeted with a scowling face because he is already home and dinner isn't even started yet? I have been there I am afraid to say.

Life is short and we owe it to ourselves and our families to settle what our priorities in life are. For all of us God is our first priority. He deserves the creme de la creme of our lives. Our love, our attention, our obedience and our service. We simply must take time to study our bible, meditate on the Word, pray and worship. And meet with the Body of Christ on a regular basis if possible.

Secondly for those of us who are married, our spouse needs a major part of the first-fruits of our being- because he is one with us. We must love, honour, respect and (yes) obey him as unto the LORD. We must plan to spend some time with him deferring to him, listening to him, paying close attention to what he is saying and taking an interest in him. This is key to having an ongoing vibrant and intimate relationship with him. It would be disastrous to our marriages if our husbands had been so neglected that they felt that they had lost closeness with the one woman they really ever need- us: the wife.

We must do all in our power to fill the deep longing for loving sexual intimacy with our husband. He must never feel that he must grovel for our favours or compete with his children- much as you both love them- he must know in his heart that after God, he is Lord. Even Sarah called Abraham Lord out of respect for him. I do not feel that we have to call them "Lord", but we must respect and love our husbands with the deferential treatment we give to our LORD as a service unto Him.

Then in our priorities comes our children. They need most of the first-fruits of our being- our love, patience, training, feeding, clothing, teaching, nurturing, nursing, and caring of bodily needs. And they deserve a mother who is there as Mom whenever they need her. Mothering never stops- not even when the children are grown. They will still call for advice with their children or with their relationships or jobs. It is imperative that we reserve our energies for them too.

Then there is the home: our haven. We have a responsibility under God to look well to the ways of our own household. Our home needs to be tended and protected for this is where the family grows and the seed of civilisation is sown. Here is where the principles of faith are not only taught but shown in the little things as well as the big. Here we train our children to cope with life, to be godly, domestic or mechanical, caring, honest and disciplined.

From here the springs of water in knowledge will flow into the hearts and minds of all who live there. The home will be firmly imprinted on our minds for good or bad- yet that imprint will be indelible. Home will forever be etched in our hearts and will draw us back in thoughts if not in deed. Your home then demands a large part of the first-fruits of your endeavours and discipline.

How can this all be achieved? I don't have my days so well planned yet that I have found the perfect answer for my own home. Some days my illness makes me extremely tired. But one thing I have found to be true- the day must be started with God. It is amazing to see how much more can be accomplished after a time with the Lord Jesus. I find that He clarifies my thinking and helps me establish my daily path. I pray about what must be achieved this very day. Then I write it down. I continue in prayer for personal needs or guidance and I finish up by playing worship music. This sets the tone of my day.

I then continue throughout the day trying to focus on that which I have planned to do, crossing off things as I finish. Because I am aware of the other priorities in my life, I try to have time set aside with my husband and I try to allow for unforeseen events such as taking my mother to the doctor or so on. No day is ever going to go to plan precisely, in fact life would be very dull without any challenges. But I truly believe if we start to realise our priorities and keep to them, then those people and things deserving of the best of our lives will be satisfied.

By establishing a routine with those priorities in mind, you will not stretch yourself too thin and the first-fruits of your life will be given to those people and projects that have eternal value. If you plan your life on these Godly priorities, I guarantee you will find rest comes easy and life is much more fulfilling.

" So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom" Psalm 90:12

The King was in his counting house

There is an old rhyme that jokingly says, "What's yours is mine and what's mine's my own!" It usually refers to money more than possessions. Chris often says that to me when I ask him for some money!

We are able to laugh about it because nothing is further from the truth in our marriage. We don't have his and her money.... all monies that come into the house belong to us both. We are a team in everything in life, including money.

Because we share everything in life, we also share how we have spent our money... which isn't often because most times before we spend, we discuss it.. If we have been separated during the day, we will come home and work out our finances together.

Ever since our marriage nearly 22 years ago, we have used Microsoft Money 2000, a computer software package that we work out our budget on and we keep track of our expenses and income. Because I am more computer savvy than Chris and am used to working out finances as part of my previous job positions, he allows me control of our finances.

When I say control, I do not mean secrecy, or spending unwisely. I mean budgeting, keeping an account of expenses and bills and so forth. There is no control of how he spends money in the sense that I dole out X amount of money to him and no more...No, we are a partnership and as such we are accountable one to the other regarding what we have done with our money.

Each evening for example, I will check our bank account, check the amount of money in my purse and Chris' wallet and work out the money... If Chris has spent some money, he tells me how much and on what, and I just do an adjustment in the ledger... I don't fuss over what it was as I trust Chris to have discussed with me if we are going to buy anything if it is a large purchase.

Likewise, if I need to buy something for a birthday, or some clothes or something on ebay, I will always ask him first... most times if I say that is affordable, he will agree. I never have to feel guilty over any purchases. He trusts me implicitly as well.

Every pay fortnight, I work out the bills and then Chris sits down at the computer with me and we discuss which ones we will pay... sometimes my plans in the Money Program are changed around if Chris thinks we will be over committed and we will rearrange things...

Money is not an issue with us because we see that we use it wisely and jointly. It never is allowed to come between us in causing arguments and strife. We know that money can cause problems in some marriages and we don't want it to be one in ours...

I received a little money from my Uncles' inheritance when we were first married. We bought our first home with that money as a deposit... I wanted that money to be something that Chris could benefit from as well as me..

There have been a few people known to us who have his and her money and who even have secreted some away in case the marriage goes belly up... we never want anything like this in our marriage...

Sometimes if I have managed to be frugal, I will stay out in the kitchen, and let Chris get a surprise and see for himself... it is a great joy to me to please him like this... it kind of reminds me of the King in the counting house, counting all his money...I do love to see my frugality pay off...

Money problems are listed in second place to sexual problems and infidelity, so money should have its rightful place in your marriage... don't let it- no matter how much or how little, become a stumbling block for you both but share in its management together!

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. Proverbs 31:11

It's all good

I have always sought to live my life according to God's Word, and I have tried to encourage other Christian women in their walk. Over the five years that I have written of God's wonderful plan for us as wives, mothers and homemakers, I have been impressed with how the 5 areas of priority in our lives overlap so much that at times I have had to categorise them by adding all the 5 areas to each post. Let me explain.

Just a quick recap of the five areas of service for the Christian woman and wife in order of priority:

Husband

Children

Home

Church

We must serve God and have Him first in our life. "He hath shewed thee, O man, what [is] good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?" Micah 6:8

Because everything is spiritual in our life, I have discovered that when we serve our husbands, we are serving Christ. " Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as is fit in the Lord " Colossians 3:18 "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy" 1 Corinthians 7:14

When we look after our home, we are serving God, our husband and our children. "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully." 1 Timothy 5:14

Serving in church or serving in God's Name is important but should not come before all the other 4 priorities are in order. (widows) " well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work" 1 Timothy 5:10

I have found that often I cannot place a post under just one category because it is so closely correlated to the other categories of service. This is because everything in our lives is spiritual. When we consider the umbrella of God's protection as well, we can see that God's plan for our lives is amazing. We have everything here to guide us as wives, mothers and homemakers. We can be sure that we are living our lives in a way that is pleasing to God and in keeping with His Word.

It is not only comforting to know that God's Word guides us in our daily living, but it is also amazing that we can know with a certainty that God not only approves of us being wives, mothers and homemakers, but that He calls most of us to be that!

If God has called us to be a wife with all that entails, then let us rejoice in His plan for our life. In doing so, we can be partners with God in His greatest creation: people who will love Him and live for eternity with Him! And we will live an abundant life full of blessings as Christ has promised.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Investing in eternal treasures

Many years ago, I studied Anne Ortlund’s Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman with a group of ladies. We discussed Mrs. Ortlund's ideas and agreed that, apart from a lot of good ideas for us being disciplined in our lives, she was off base regarding our priorities as women. For our priorities are clear in God's Word:

God
Husband
Children
Home
Church
Outreach

We decided on this in light of Titus 2 and other verses, and I believe that this is, indeed, the best way to prioritise our lives. Outside ministries are fine, provided that your husband agrees and is supportive of it and that your children and household duties are not neglected. Our biggest ministry is to our own family. We shortchange them when we are neglectful of them due to over commitment and tiredness.

How can it honour the LORD for us to give all our energy to others when our marriages may suffer and our children run wild? We end up giving the first fruits of our energy and commitment to others. I believe that we should see any form of ministry outside the home as secondary to the ministry of Mother and Wife. If duties are in order at home and your husband is not feeling neglected, then I believe you can engage in outside ministry with a happy heart.

Many women do not see the importance of their role as Mother and Wife and feel frustrated in not being able to participate in outside ministry. God has placed us in a ministry precisely because we are wives and/or mothers. We don't have to be discontented and looking for other ministries...we have our calling already.

I think placing priorities outside the biblical order jeopardises our happiness in our homes and families, and you can believe me, even service in ministry can be a lonely experience if you have lost those closest to you. When you put God's priorities in order, He is being served first, second, third, fourth, and fifth. He is all in all and in everything you do.

We need to invest more time in our marriages and families, not less, and to God will be all the glory when we raise godly children--future warriors for the LORD and bearers of His name.

Enjoy your calling, ladies; you are investing in eternal treasures.

“See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” Ephesians 5:15-17

Don't feel guilty for being a woman

I know this is true because I have an acquaintance who has fallen for the feminists' lies and who now has found herself in exactly that position.... we are waiting to see how she approaches being childless, which incidentally happened to Germaine Greer after she discovered she did in fact want a child but was unable to have one....

Please ladies, don't let feminists make you feel guilty for being a woman...

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, [and to be] a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD. Psalm 113:9

She is not afraid of the snow

Recently Chris and I have been stocking up our fridge, freezer and pantry. The world is a very sad place and nothing is sure...

We aren't living in fear- we just think with the price of diesel, strikes, problems in distribution and so on, that it would be prudent to have some back up food in the house.

So far we have enough groceries to last us about six weeks on a planned menu that doesn't use all our reserves at once, yet nourishes us. I have a few extra packs and tins of cat food for Xena.

In line with this, I have been getting prescriptions filled promptly and buying extra diabetic supplies. Again, enough to last us about six weeks. And that includes pain killers for my fibromyalgia.

Already we have had distribution problems with shipping containers banked up on wharves and no workers willing to unload them. With all our various health issues that require many tablets a day to control plus insulin injections, we are aware that having a few weeks in advance if possible is also prudent.

My antidepressants weren't available for months and if I hadn't been wise, I would have had a meltdown. Fortunately I had a couple of boxes of them in obeyance.

Whilst I don't advocate stocking up because of fear, it is not wrong to anticipate difficulties in obtaining basic supplies and acting accordingly.

She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet-Proverbs 31:21

Clean enough to be healthy

I have had a perfectionist streak all my life, but in the last twenty or so years of ill health, I have had to learn to be content with a more relaxed approach to my home making.

Where once I would be consumed with (false) guilt because I made our bed without four corner tucks or I had the blankets bumpy on the bed, I have had to make do with a more lenient approach. I simply don't have the energy to do four corner tucks. However, even the bed made up quickly and sporting a lump here or there, is extremely satisfying to me now that I've gotten past the perfectionism.

Mornings are no longer the time for house keeping. I have to fit in what I can over however long it takes me... and be content at the end of the day that I actually got it done...

I no longer allow cleaning schedules to dictate to me what I must achieve in any given day or time frame: it gets done more or less within the schedule but on a time of my choosing. It's the only way a Sacrificial Home Keeper can manage..

In saying that I am no longer a perfectionist, I still like to live in a clean home. For me, there are basic things that are not negotiable. I cannot live my life happily unless these things are clean:

I must be clean.

My clothes must be clean.

My bed must be fresh and clean.

My dishes and cooking utensils must be clean.

I can't stand smelly toilets and these and my bathroom must be clean.

These days I need help to maintain this list of essentials. I do not go into a spin if a fly has died on my window ledge or there is some dust on my furniture. I have learned to accept white cat fur as a part of being a mother to a white cat. The floors can be in need of a vacuum, but I now have Roombas to do them. It has been years since I ironed something that only I will see... and I learned years ago that one can sleep on unironed pillowcases... it can be done!

I find cooking, shopping, menu and social planning, washing and folding of clothes, managing finances and being a loving wife to my husband is enough for me to cope with. I know from experience over the years that by not pacing myself, I will crash and burn and my recovery time will need more than an occasional nana nap...

Accepting our limitations is an important part of staying calm in a world that has become anything but. And for most of us Sacrificial Home Keepers, our world is our home.

One final thought that helped me was remembering what our family doctor once said to me when my children were young: "A home should be clean enough to be healthy, but untidy enough to be happy!" I am trusting that I have at last put his advice into action.

God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect. 2 Samuel 22:33

Is your husband a happily married man?

Like most people if they are honest, we have had an occasional fight, but generally I would say that we both feel respected, appreciated and loved.

On the private side of marriage, I feel it's important to be affectionate and responsive to your husband and never belittle him if he truly isn't a Don Juon.

One should never emasculate one's husband by suggesting he "get a real job" when he is toiling at a job that some consider beneath them.

We must show our appreciation and respect of him as bread winner by supporting him in whatever line of work he's in. Respect and appreciation make a man feel loved.

It is within a wife's power to keep a man happy and feeling respected and appreciated. Any man can be married, but not happy. Is your husband a happily married man?

A helpful guide

As reported on the news, there will be food shortages in the future, so I have been building my pantry and freezer up.

I am not living in fear, but rather I am trying to emulate that wise woman in Proverbs 31. She was not afraid of winter because she was prepared. I want to be prepared too.

As you probably know, I have been cooking extra meals and doing a cookup on days I have some spoons. It's been working marvellously well for me. Especially for those days when my fibromyalgia is flaring. I simply grab and defrost a couple of meals and dinner is done.

I make sure everything is clearly marked and dated so that I can rotate the food and not have it sit there until it is out of date.

One thing that I noticed when freezing my meals is that the label came off and I couldn't identify what the meal was and how old it was. So I read that masking tape doesn't fade or come off easily and I did that. It's true.

I came across this guide of shelf life for pantry items and I posted it here for our easy reference. Goodness knows, food's too expensive to waste, so this should be a helpful guide.

Idealistic or faithful

I was rejoicing in my friend’s engagement. She was sharing her dreams of the future with me and showing me her hope chest. She was very much in love with her fiancé and had everything planned to perfection. We discussed her wedding plans, and our views and ideals on marriage itself. One of the questions that came up was if she would continue to work once the children came, and the appropriation of funds coming into the marriage.

I was delighted to hear that my friend intended to be a stay at home mother once the children were born. Prior to that, they were going to have his money and her money in separate accounts with her keeping a secret account for provision for herself in case of marital problems necessitating her setting up a home for herself and the children. I expressed my concern that she should see this as a necessary step when entering into marriage.

She responded with saying that one never knew what the future would hold and it was unrealistic to believe that just because she was married, there would be a guarantee of happiness. She intended to be prepared for any event that should arise.I told her that it was foolhardy to enter marriage- (a Christian marriage at that) with one eye on the altar and the other on the divorce court.

I commented that it seemed to me to be a failing of trust on her part and also that it was in fact laying a foundation of mistrust and deceit in her marriage right from the beginning. Her retort was that I was just being idealistic and that being left without financial security in the event of a marriage failure was not on her agenda. She could not see my point of view so I let it drop- God would have to deal with her heart. I felt saddened by her cynical attitude.

To enter marriage with the view that it may very well end in divorce is a tragic view and a distortion of the covenental view that Christ has for marriage. Marriage is to be built on trust. If there are problems, then they should be worked through. The marriage is already failed in the context of trust if one of the parties has a parachute to use to bail out with when or if the going gets tough. The area of trust has been compromised already by my friend keeping her account secret- she has allowed doubt and deceit to cloud her mind.

One cannot enter a covenant with lies and doubts and plans for self preservation instead of trust in God. Not in a Christian marriage.The whole concept of marriage is built on trust and accountability to each other. I do not think it is idealistic or unrealistic. I think it is a basic principle of marriage that cannot be compromised. Issues of doubt and fear should be ironed out long before the nuptials. For to be double-minded about your commitment in your marriage is to invite trouble and failure.

The heart of the faithful is strong- but where there is any weakness in either spouse’s commitment there will be not only lack of trust but lack of blessing.My prayer is that the LORD will speak to my friend’s heart and give her the commitment and confidence that are hers as she trusts Him and her husband to build and bless their marriage. But first she must let go of the parachute and show herself faithful. Happiness can come only through true commitment and faith.

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. A double minded man [is] unstable in all his ways.” James 1:5-8