Clean enough to be healthy

I have had a perfectionist streak all my life, but in the last twenty or so years of ill health, I have had to learn to be content with a more relaxed approach to my home making.

Where once I would be consumed with (false) guilt because I made our bed without four corner tucks or I had the blankets bumpy on the bed, I have had to make do with a more lenient approach. I simply don't have the energy to do four corner tucks. However, even the bed made up quickly and sporting a lump here or there, is extremely satisfying to me now that I've gotten past the perfectionism.

Mornings are no longer the time for house keeping. I have to fit in what I can over however long it takes me... and be content at the end of the day that I actually got it done...

I no longer allow cleaning schedules to dictate to me what I must achieve in any given day or time frame: it gets done more or less within the schedule but on a time of my choosing. It's the only way a Sacrificial Home Keeper can manage..

In saying that I am no longer a perfectionist, I still like to live in a clean home. For me, there are basic things that are not negotiable. I cannot live my life happily unless these things are clean:

I must be clean.

My clothes must be clean.

My bed must be fresh and clean.

My dishes and cooking utensils must be clean.

I can't stand smelly toilets and these and my bathroom must be clean.

These days I need help to maintain this list of essentials.  I do not go into a spin if a fly has died on my window ledge or there is some dust on my furniture. I have learned to accept white cat fur as a part of being a mother to a white cat. The floors can be in need of a vacuum, but I now have Roombas to do them.  It has been years since I ironed something that only I will see... and I learned years ago that one can sleep on unironed pillowcases... it can be done!

I find cooking, shopping, menu and social planning, washing and folding of clothes, managing finances and being a loving wife to my husband is enough for me to cope with. I know from experience over the years that by not pacing myself, I will crash and burn and my recovery time will need more than an occasional nana nap...

Accepting our limitations is an important part of staying calm in a world that has become anything but. And for most of us Sacrificial Home Keepers, our world is our home. 

One final thought that helped me was remembering what our family doctor once said to me when my children were young: "A home should be clean enough to be healthy, but untidy enough to be happy!"  I am trusting that I have at last put his advice into action.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect. 2 Samuel 22:33

Emulating the Proverbs 31 woman

The Proverbs 31 woman is an example of a godly wife. It's not something we are going to be able to do all at once and for some of us, we may never accomplish all she did. But I believe emulating her example is a good thing. We have to have a goal. If you aim for nothing, you are always going to hit it. I used to get up real early, about 4.30 to get my husband off to work. I would have my quiet time then before my 4 children would wake up.

This worked for me when they were quite tiny too and I just carried it through. Until about 22 years ago when illness came in. I don't sleep well and wake up in lots of pain and I find if I try to get into the Word the fibro fog makes it impossible to focus. I don’t glean much from the Word and my prayers are disjointed. I put on some praise and worship music and just thank the LORD for giving some sleep and so on. After a hot shower and breakfast, I can study the Word and pray better. I think anyone with an illness or pregnant, or who has had a sleepless night with a sick child etc, has to be realistic and in tune with their body. She has to know what her own limitations are and modify what is an excellent goal to achieve it.

My modified morning routine now works better for me. And let's face it, any time is a good time to be in the Word! We all have to work out when it is best for us....then do it. My time of choice would be early mornings though. But I have had to learn to modify things in order to achieve them. And later is better than never! I believe that for all of us women trying to live a godly life, the Proverbs 31 woman is a guide of what to strive for. Even if we can't achieve all she has done (and you will notice that she achieved this over seasons of her life- not all at once!), still our hearts will be in the right place.

If women look at the whole picture with the view of doing it all NOW or not modifying it for themselves, they will most likely give up and not even try to emulate her example. Sometimes there are unresolved heart issues that the LORD has to work through with some women who won’t even try to emulate the Proverbs 31 woman. Not even with modifications. It may take some time until they are convinced that this holy calling in their lives is truly for their own good and contentment. Sometimes it takes a lot of washing with the Word before the soil of the world is cleared out of some women's eyes. They just need encouragement as God works in their lives.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

‘She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms.’ Proverbs 31:17

Of surrender and respite

Accepting that one's life is going to be difficult due to ongoing illness makes for a happier life. When the chronically ill person decides to give it to God, and to cling to Him instead of succumbing to false guilt or anger, life takes on a normality in what many would see as anything but. It is a surrender, if you will.

Because we suffer does not make us second-class Christians, as some false teachings would purport. Nor does it mean we are faithless or aren't reading our Bibles or standing on the promises of God regarding healing. 

Furthermore, being ill does not check us out of God's watchful Eye of concern, or mean that He is an uncompassionate God. No, we all are subject to frailties and problems in the flesh because we live in a fallen world... we have not been singled out to suffer...

God has given us things to do in our suffering and it is important that we stay close to Him and continue to read the Word and pray. It is not that God has moved, when He feels far away during a flare or illness, but our emotions are also hurting as a result of our condition. 

It is important to pray that God heal us, and to ask the Church to anoint us with oil according to the Scriptures... It is essential to our emotional and spiritual health to  stay in the faith and believe that God can heal us, but to pray for strength until- or even IF it is His will to do so.

I know that should/when another fibromyalgia flare comes for me that I will have to cling to Jesus and reread what I have written here (for I write it for myself as well as you).  I will need to surrender this next painful chapter of my life, knowing that God will still be there for me.

Surrendering our pain and our life to God is the only thing we can do.... meanwhile, I thank Him for the few days of respite....

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms.Is any sick among you? Let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him,anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.  James 5:13-15