I just have to pursue it.

 So with a horrid year last year, I was quite happy to see the end of it. I messaged my friends and family and wished them a happy new year, then turned my phone off and went to bed.

It was only 11 o'clock, but I was exhausted and had no spoons left. The weather was really warm and I decided to forgo my electric blanket. With the help of a Tramadol, I managed to quell my fibro and back pain and soon fell asleep.

I woke up at 2am and realised that it was January 1st. Not that it makes much difference what year or day it is- for Chris and I one day is much the same as another. We stay home mostly.

This year, I am training myself to live in the moment. That's all we are promised anyway. I have worried about what lies ahead this new year, but I am going to stop thinking too far ahead.

I plan to read more of the Bible and saturate myself in uplifting reading and videos. I am going to try to live with hope and not dwell on negatives.

The eternal optimist, I am going to believe that I am going to have less fibro pain and get more done. I mean, if one thinks only of horrible things it will ensure that I just exist and don't live.

I don't want to endure next year, but enjoy it. It's a big ask, but it is possible. I tell myself it's possible to live an abundantly happy life in spite of pain. I just have to pursue it. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom.  Psalm 90:12

More than a place to sleep

Recently someone asked why do we make our bed? I gave it some thought as I have recently been making my own bed daily, in spite of regularly going back into it for a nana nap. Here's a few thoughts on why I use my precious spoons to make my bed.

Physically its more comfortable to sleep in. 

Psychologically its more inviting.

It makes the room visually more esthetically pleasing.

The bed's the centrepiece of the room like in a painting. 

It gives the illusion of order and calm.

It uplifts my spirits when I come into my bedroom.

With fibromyalgia, angina and back problems, I make mine but often get back in it. So I remake it.

When I make it, I don't get on my knees as they are broken and I do not do hospital bed mitred corners. I pull up my top sheet, then turn back the minky blankets. With arthritic hands, the only tucks I do are at the bottom of the bed to secure the bedding...

But, being honest, I sometimes let it go when I have a fibro flare- being satified that the sheets and bedding is clean. But the majority of times, my beds are made. 

Beds are more comfortable made up or at least straightened and are more than a place to sleep.

It makes my spoons quiver!

So yesterday we had more family come for Christmas. We had a lovely lunch, feasting on the abundant leftovers from the feast on Christmas Day. 

Because I had pushed myself physically the day before, my fibromyalgia was flaring and my back was spasming because I had been on my feet preparing food for a long time. I was feeling overwhelmed.

I was feeling hospitable, it was just because of pain that the day was on a downer for me personally. I tried my best to be cheerful. We Fibromites and chronically ill people become consumate actors in playing the cheerful game.

My step-daughter was very gracious and helped me make teas and coffees and carve left over ham, and not for the first time, I was very grateful to her.

With 35C temperatures- 95F, I was also very grateful for our air conditioner. The dining area was very comfortable and we passed a pleasant day.

My little 4 year old great-granddaughter Evie came to me and asked me to show her my bedroom. So taking my hand, she led me to my room, looked at the ensuite, and declared, "Nana, I love your house, and I love you too!"  It made my day.

Her declaration of love warms my heart even now as I talk to you. I am sitting here in fibro pain with my two freshly broken purple toes throbbing. (I kicked the corner of the dining table leg, collecting two toes for the price of one.) But the happiness of my little lovely Evie's declaration overshadows even the pain today.

The house is tidy, the washing in the machine and the Christmas tree and decorations are put away. My robotic vacuums have been run today. We are now officially post Christmas.

We placed the tree still decorated into a closet that is empty, and should the LORD tarry, it will be a simple matter to reinstall it next year. Not that I really can imagine another Christmas right now. 

Quite simply, nice as it was, it makes my few remaining spoons quiver! 

It still is what it is!

You may remember me telling you that I bought a bath chair lift so that I can have a bath. I was so overjoyed when it came.

Unfortunately it didn't work out for me and I only used it twice before I sold it. It came down to awkward plumbing and knees that don't work anymore. 

To say I was disappointed would be an understatement, not only disappointment that I couldn't bathe but also for the fact that it cost me $870AUD.

It was still immaculate and under warranty so I decided to sell it. I did after a couple of weeks, but I sold it for only $400AUD with ebay fees of $53.90 so I didn't make much back on it. 

On the bright side though, I did find that the shower in the main bathroom has an easier accessible shower stall and better water pressure than the ensuite one. 

And speaking of showering, I have purposed to have it at night now due to my spoons being scarce with my latest fibromyalgia flare. It doesn't matter so much if I run out of spoons if I am on my way to bed anyway.

Victoria has been experiencing very wild weather with lots of rain and thunderstorms. The pain in my joints and muscles gets too much to bear at times and I find I am needing to take a Tramadol some days.

 I haven't been spending much time on the computer for this reason as Tramadol makes me feel spaced out and I can't focus to write properly. Like everything to do with fibromyalgia, it's a tough task master and a tyrant, but it is what it is! 

Hanging on by a thread revisited

We chronically ill women always have times when we feel that we are barely holding it all together. We are literally becoming unravelled and we feel like we are hanging on by a thread.

Flares, unrelenting pain, immeasurable fatigue, depression and lack of restorative sleep can all add to the feeling that we can't go on. Even breathing seems like an effort.

It is in those times that we must reach out to God and ask Him to give us the strength to get through each day- or especially the night which seems the longest when we long to sleep but can't.

We need to try to listen to the Word or put on some Christian worship music, and give ourselves over to relaxing as much as is possible for someone in the grip of pain or depression. But we have to focus on something positive, or else we will be getting a one way to the Pit of Despair. We don't want to go there.

By focusing on something positive, we can actually release endorphins, those chemicals that reduce pain and increase a feeling of well-being. 

Reaching out to God during these times is critical to our staying in control emotionally. But we must do it, in faith.

If the woman with the issue of blood hadn't reached out to Jesus by touching the hem of His garment, she would not have been healed.

I am not necessarily saying that you will get healed, even though it is possible of course. But you will be lifted up to a higher level of coping with it all.

Worship and praising God whilst suffering is the most exquisitely beautiful act of trust and reverence. It will lift us up and set the enemy of our souls to flight.

So, next time you are feeling you are hanging by a thread, make sure it's the hem of Christ's garment.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

And suddenly, a woman who had a flow of blood for twelve years came from behind and touched the hem of His garment. Matthew 9.20

I can hardly wait!

 

As most of you know, I have both knees injured with torn menisci and ligaments. Showers are difficult as it's hard to stand. 

I find myself grieving the loss of independence and the ability to take a bath. So it was with great joy that I found this The Aquatec orca bath lift a bath lift for getting in and out of the bath. 

We went to the Mobility Aids shop and I bought one. It was $875AUD including delivery of $70. It will be delivered this Friday. I am overjoyed.

I know it is expensive, but I figure it will be worth every cent. Plus you can pay it on Afterpay. And Chris will also be able to use it so that's good for him as well.

At the end of a fibromyalgia filled day or a day of back pain, a bath can be so comforting. I can hardly wait! 

Sex isn't everything.

This picture reminds me of Chris and I in the kitchen... I often can be washing the dishes and he will come behind me for a cuddle.. I still blush and giggle like a school girl!  I usually go weak at the knees when he kisses the back of my neck, and I turn around and kiss him passionately.  Finally, we break away, breathless with romance and laughter!  Most times, he then pitches in and helps me finish washing up.

This little dalliance of ours to us is quite romantic and that coupled with the fact that Chris helps me with the dishes, makes me feel nurtured and happy- it doesn't take a lot for me! Which is good, because money is short for a lot of flowers and chocolates.

We do go out together for meals whenever we can salt away a little money.  Nothing too expensive, but we bring our own ambiance!  Just looking into each others' eyes and holding hands over the table reminds us of our early days together and keeps us focused on each other.  Truly, we do adore each other.

Because money is in short supply, and because we constantly laugh together and cuddle often, we feel that special occasions such as Christmas, birthdays and Valentines' Day aren't necessary to show affection and love. We in fact, do not buy gifts for these for each other. And it is perfectly fine with us. We do, however look at our wedding photos and reminisce a lot on our anniversary or any other date significant to us...

I think it may be the fact that we are an older married couple that makes it easier to see romance in ways that younger couples don't.  With age and fibromyalgia and heart and back problems and Chris with his diabetes, sex is either umcomfortable or impossible. So both Chris and I look forward to a bubble bath at home with a good back wash and nail trims or a foot or back massage.  We do that for each other on a regular basis. To us, nurture is romance!

Chris loves me bringing his breakfast into him in the morning. This to him is romantic and although his not buying me presents and sending me cards may seem that he is an unromantic man, nothing could be further from the truth.  He sings to me! We have some special songs that he says were written just for us, and he will play them on the computer, and take me in his arms and croon to me as we dance slowly round the living room.

Because I am often in hospital, Chris shows his care by staying with me most of the day until visiting hours are over, just stroking my hair and holding my hand. Or he will come with our laptop and headphones for me. My heart melts with love for him.  We can't stand to be away from each other.

Illness, medications, no spoons and age have curtailed our times of intimacy, but we manage to show love to each other in ways that are imaginative, erotic and very caring.  There is absolutely no thoughts of unmet needs- love can be expressed in ways other than full sexual intercourse, and we delight in each other regardless! If sex happens, it's a bonus!

So we don't care about no presents or cards for Christmas, or birthdays or Valentines' Day-  with the romantic sparks that still fly between us, and our little dalliances, every day is Valentines' Day. 

I thank God for Chris as I am one very blessed wife, and I tell him often.... he finds that very romantic too! We are proof that you can live without sex! Sex isn't everything! (This post has been written with my husbands' permission)

Keeping dainty with chronic illness

I have been ill with fibromyalgia for about twenty years now. In that time, lots of things have changed, and one of them is my personal hygiene routine.

One would think that taking a bath or a shower would be an easy thing to accomplish, but if you suffer from chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, back problems or angina problems like I do, you would realise that it consumes a lot of your spoons. So I had to do a bit of rethinking of my daily routines. I've discovered that one of the places that takes a lot of my spoons is the bathroom.

Because bathing and drying and dressing exhaust me, I varied my time in taking a bath depending on how well I feel. If I have enough energy, I would bathe in the morning, if not I would take a shower before bed as Chris is home and he helps me get dried and into my nightie. (When you are chronically ill, you quickly get over being humbled by needing assistance- you are grateful for any help available.)

I have found that if I take a bath or shower in the morning I am left with no energy for the rest of the day. If I take my shower at night, I have just enough energy afterwards to get myself to bed, which works out much better.

Hot baths or showers leave me too exhausted and give me angina pain, so I take showers with only warm or tepid water. While I would prefer to shower every day, showering is best done every other day for me to avoid flare-ups of pain, fatigue and soreness. I have decided on some new course of action to make time in my bathroom more fibro-friendly.

One of the first things I changed was how I take a shower, or rather, the position in which I shower: sitting. Here I find those telephone type showers are useful. When I get out of the shower, I sit down to dry off.

I can no longer blow dry my hair so by necessity my hairstyle has been wash and air dry for years now. Time in front of the sink brushing my teeth or washing my face has been modified by resting one foot on a stool while standing. Because of spinal problems and being a short person, I have a glass in my bathroom which I fill with water and use for rinsing and cleaning my toothbrush without straining to reach the tap.

I no longer wear makeup, the standing in front of the mirror and the use of my hands in holding the various tools of the task, is now limited to special occasions only; it is too painful a task to do on a daily basis. Also, my face is so sensitive that it breaks out in red welts at the slightest pressure... which includes smearing on foundation. This is called dermagraphia.

The bottom line is taking a shower is a real workout now. In addition to modifying how I take a shower, I am going to follow these 3 rules: I will only take a shower at night, I will only take warm water showers and I will only take a shower every other day. With the employment of a good deodorant after each shower and a fresh change of underwear each night and morning, I have found that I don't offend anyone and remain feminine and dainty.

Life with chronic illness is complicated, but at least I manage to stay clean while living it!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom. Psalm 90:12

When you're hanging on by a thread

We chronically ill women always have times when we feel that we are barely holding it all together. We are literally becoming unravelled and we feel like we are hanging on by a thread.

Flares, unrelenting pain, immeasurable fatigue, depression and lack of restorative sleep can all add to the feeling that we can't go on. Even breathing seems like an effort.

It is in those times that we must reach out to God and ask Him to give us the strength to get through each day- or especially the night which seems the longest when we long to sleep but can't.

We need to try to listen to the Word or put on some Christian worship music, and give ourselves over to relaxing as much as is possible for someone in the grip of pain or depression. But we have to focus on something positive, or else we will be getting a one way to the Pit of Despair. We don't want to go there.

By focusing on something positive, we can actually release endorphins, those chemicals that reduce pain and increase a feeling of well-being. 

Reaching out to God during these times is critical to our staying in control emotionally. But we must do it, in faith.

If the woman with the issue of blood hadn't reached out to Jesus by touching the hem of His garment, she would not have been healed.

I am not necessarily saying that you will get healed, even though it is possible of course. But you will be lifted up to a higher level of coping with it all.

Worship and praising God whilst suffering is the most exquisitely beautiful act of trust and reverence. It will lift us up and set the enemy of our souls to flight.

So, next time you are feeling you are hanging by a thread, make sure it's the hem of Christ's garment.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

And suddenly, a woman who had a flow of blood for twelve years came from behind and touched the hem of His garment. Matthew 9.20

A discipline worth fighting for.

Next month I will turn 68 and in all honesty, it has been a bumpy ride. All manner of tribulations, trials and hurts have been interspersed with blessings, wonder, tears of joy and love.

Like most people, I realise that time has passed by very quickly. It seemed I blinked from the time of being a young bride to now being the grandmother of the bride!

Birthdays don't phase me, in fact I celebrate each one joyfully, in spite of the fact that my physical life is a painful symphony of noisy ailments that clash in a discordant cacophony that threaten my mental health.

It's so easy to succumb to depression when one has a constant string of painful ailments to vie with each other to be Conductor of the piece. I battle them constantly. 

I struggle to have the vicissitudes of life as salubrious as possible: I want to live my life well and not simply endure it. I know now how fast life passes us by and how precious every moment is.

Years ago, I realised I can go either way: try to be grateful and be happier or whine all the time and resent my life and be miserable. I choose to be grateful which is harder- but it has hope in it. 

To be honest, sometimes these overlap and I find myself whining just after feeling grateful and I have to bring my thoughts into the captivity of Christ...  however, in general, I try to be upbeat and positive. No mean feat with fibromyalgia, heart and spinal problems.

Gratefulness is a discipline worth cultivating in order to live our life well. Gratefulness will enhance our life and help us overcome our health trials.

It takes practice, it takes prayer, it takes self control- but it is a discipline worth the effort in order to have a good life albeit a painful one.

Every moment of every day equates to our life and it is imperative that we try to focus on anything that is positive, good, noble and right. If we don't, we will be miserable as well as in pain.

Gratefulness is  difficult to practise, and positivity is sometimes impossible, but in order to look over our life at the end of the day,and acknowledge that it is good, it is a discipline worth fighting for.

 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8

Pain changes people!

In dealing with my fibromyalgia flares, I find dealing with the accompanying mental pain is just as bad as dealing with unrelenting physical pain. It is just as difficult to bear.

Usually a mild mannered person, after coping all day with searing pain in my muscles, topped off with an inability to sleep soundly, I can fly off the handle occasionally.

Yesterday for example, I managed to catch up on my dishes, which turned out to be a three part marathon. Usually Chris puts them away but yesterday it didn't happen.

My fingers were paining me, my back ached and my legs didn't feel like they could hold me up. Unfortunately, a feeling of resentment overtook me, and I yelled at Chris for not doing his part.

I love being a wife and homemaker, but when everything is hurting at once, and not sleeping well because of the pain, resentment rose up in me. 

Resentment that I wasn't getting any help coupled with no pain relief and tiredness made me verbally buck and shy like a wild stallion. Along with resentment of my lack of help came resentment that my body has let me down.

Once resentment kicks in, it opens the door to self-pity and depression. I don't like yelling at Chris, particularly as he is usually not only helpful but emotionally nurturing and supportive.

I have found that at times like this, when pain causes me to blow my stack, that like an overtired toddler, I need to rest. So I put myself to bed for a nana nap.

But before I go for that nap, I apologise to Chris and go to sleep talking with the LORD and repenting of my bad humour.

Fibromyalgia pain never lets up, even in our sleep. It pursues us in our rest and deprives us of even the enjoyment of a brief period of respite in sleep. We toss and turn, trying to get comfortable- and that is even during the brief time our dry aching eyes are actually closed. It is not restorative at all.

I have had to learn to stop feeling false guilt for reacting to my pain when the levels are high enough to launch a rocket. That's how I feel during a flare. But I have got to remember that I didn't ask for this and am not responsible for succumbing to this painful syndrome.

I must remember that fibromyalgia pain-or indeed any pain, makes the vicissitudes of life that much harder to bear. Everything is exaggerated both physically and mentally, and the only thing I can do is accept that this is not my usual self, for pain changes people.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent. Psalm 71:9

Giving in is not giving up!

Yesterday I came to the realisation that my fibromyalgia is not going to get any better. Nor is my diabetes, hole in the heart, back pain, angina, asthma or torn meniscus. 

My blood sugars are also high, but not as high as Chris's, but it is a warning to me as well. I certainly do not want to go through what Chris is going through with trying to get the right amount of insulin and the horrid symptoms he endures.

My hole in the heart means my right lung is not oxygenating properly and because I need a fourth stent which I have refused (another story), I have constant stable angina. And asthma on exertion.

My blood pressure is high as the pain from my back and torn meniscus in my knee is bad. Finally, with Chris being ill now, my depression is back. I hurt when he is hurting.

Like any Sacrificial Home Keeper, I am trying to keep my home clean and tidy and here I too am failing. I see no end to it...

I was talking to my twin sister yesterday and she said that it is possible to get a bit of subsidised home help through the Australian Government's Age Care plan. So I applied and am going to be assessed tomorrow. I am eligible, as I am now 67 and my husband is 70  and is unable to do housework with me.

I can do some housework if it is waist level: dishes, cooking, washing, dusting. But I cannot even sweep let alone vacuum or wash my floors, as my tendons and muscles scream for mercy with my fibromyalgia and my back joins in sympathy, followed by angina and asthma. So basically I need someone to clean my floors and to change our bed.

As a woman who has been a house keeper since 1969 and brought up five children, it really galls me that I have to admit that I cannot maintain my own home by myself anymore. 

So, I am giving in trying to keep up like before when I was well. But I still will be doing meal planning, grocery shopping (online),  cooking, cleaning my kitchen including dishes, bill paying and budgeting, washing, ironing as needed, refilling prescriptions, social planning and gift buying, looking after Xena our cat, and most importantly, looking after Chris's and my health.

In saying I am giving in trying to be strong like before, I am not giving up: one way or another, my home will be clean! 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent. Psalm 71:9

Cleaning for older women

I read this and thought not only would it be helpful for us older sisters, but also for us Sacrificial HomeKeepers especially those of us who suffer with fibromyalgia.

There are many websites that have detailed instructions teaching young women how to clean and organize their homes. However, I haven't been able to find much on teaching older women how to adjust to not being able to stay on a routine cleaning schedule due to health problems, yet keep a clean home.

This article can also apply to younger, healthier women too because of the unexpected occurrences that do happen in all our lives.

One thing you need to know about me is that I've always had the problem of perfectionism, which I have learned to control in recent years. You may be wondering why I consider perfectionism as a problem. For most people with this characteristic, they are uptight and easily upset when things don't go as planned. The least little thing that goes wrong immediately puts them in a bad mood. Why? Because they have lost control of the situation.

I have had to ask the Lord on many occasions to help me adjust my attitude and He has been faithful in doing so. I am MUCH more relaxed than I use to be and give the Lord all the credit because I don't think it is something you can change on your own. Oh, I occasionally will fall into my old way of thinking at times, but quickly realize that old enemy and put it away.

As we age, we usually end up with a few health problems along the way and we also tend to move a bit slower, thus taking longer to do one chore. It can be very frustrating to those who have always tried to keep a clean and tidy home. Maybe bending or stooping is causing you pain at times or you just can't seem to do as much in one day.

* My number one recommendation is to RELAX!!!!! I don't mean to sit all day eating bon-bons and watching soap operas, but relax your attitude.

If you are like most women, you dread another woman coming into your home if it isn't absolutely and perfectly clean and tidy. We are always apologizing for the way the house looks when most of the time, it is just fine.

Your children are grown and maybe already left the nest, so it is just you and your husband. This alone will help you because there are now only two to make a mess. Yet, the house still needs tender, loving care.

* Clutter in your home can appear to others as uncleanliness, so make sure to put things back where they belong and keep your home as clutter-free as possible. A tidy home will appear clean even when there are a few dust bunnies around. Maybe it's time to get rid of some things you no longer really need. Maybe that collection doesn't have the same appeal or meaning to you as it once did. Ask your children if they are interested in having it. If not, why not donate it or have a garage sale? The less "things" you have, the less dusting. Take a picture of it and put in a memory scrapbook! Then be happy you have less dusting to do.

* Your laundry loads will be greatly diminished when it is just the two of you. I have found that on days my back is acting up, I can sometimes still accomplish doing the laundry by having a low stool by the dryer to sit on. That way I can reach into the dryer without bending over and sit there folding each item. My husband and daughter frown on me doing anything when my back is bothering me and they say, "Why didn't you call me to do that?!!!!" Well, I'm the type of person that if I can find a way to do something myself, I'll do it. Asking for help is my last resort.

* Depending on your ailment, sweeping, mopping, and vacuuming can be difficult along with cleaning the tub/shower. May I suggest to look at alternative cleaning equipment? A couple of years ago my daughter gave me a Swiffer floor vac and Swiffer wet jet. These two items have been a tremendous help to me. They are VERY lightweight and easy to use. Of course these are to be used on hard floor surfaces only. I read once where a woman used an old-fashioned mop to clean her tub and shower. Prevented her from having to bend over. If you are completely unable to do these tasks and your husband isn't able to do them either, why not consider asking one of your children if they have time once a week to do this for you? Or maybe someone from your church? I would recommend that you try to get someone you know very well.

* If you have clothes and shoes in your closet that you haven't worn in a long time, get rid of them. Same thing with bed linens. Get rid of excess. It's that much less to collect dust or mold. Haven't you ever noticed the "old person" odor when you walk into someone's home? Just because you are getting older doesn't mean you should quit caring for your home and yourself. Be sure to bathe/shower daily. Don't forget to wash your hair! Get in the habit of laundering small loads instead of letting clothes and damp towels set around until you have a big load to wash. At least once a year, ask a strong person you know to come in and move furniture for you so that you can clean behind those items. Don't forget to take care of those curtains! Wash and dry or have them dry cleaned.

What I am still trying to get through my thick skull is to pace myself on the good days. Give myself less tasks to complete and to take frequent breaks. It is difficult to change our habits, but it can be done. I am having to break a lifelong habit of "Get all your work done and then you can rest."

A typical day for me goes like this:

Before getting out of bed, I thank the Lord for the day and for my family and ask Him to guide each of us in all we say and do that day.

Then it's time to get up, get dressed, and have a cup of hot tea with honey (sometimes I treat myself to a cup of coffee, black only) and watch the news with Hubby while waking up. Then it's time to prepare something for breakfast.

No, I do not wear heels around the house. It's socks and slippers during cold weather and sandals during hot weather. I don't wear a head covering, but I do like wearing an apron.

After breakfast I clean up the kitchen and then sit down to check email and decide what I'm going to try and accomplish that day. Depending on what is to be done, I remind myself that if it is going to take longer than 15-30 minutes, I MUST take a break. This is usually when I'll do a blog post or visit a few blogs and check emails again.

Since my Hubby is retired on disability, we have our lunch together around noon each day. If I'm having a good day, I will try to accomplish another task after lunch. If not, then I keep my hands busy. I'll do...knit or crochet.

As a homemaker, we all would love our husband and children to really take notice of what we do. Sometimes we feel we are taken for granted and wonder, "Is my family really grateful for the things I do around here?" You all KNOW what I'm saying. We don't expect them to come home everyday and gush over how clean the house looks, but every once in a while it's nice for one of them to thank us for what we do. Well, this feeling DOES happen to the man of the house. Here's what happened:

I've not been able to vacuum lately and my daughter has been busy and gone a lot. Hubby and I both have been having back troubles, but last Friday I was feeling a bit better and told him I had to get out of the house for a while. I went shopping.

Later in the afternoon, he said, "Did you notice I vacuumed?"

I looked down and said with a grin, "When did you do that?"

"While you were gone to town. You know when I vacuum, it really needs it!"

Then he said that he was going to wait and see if I noticed that he had vacuumed, but couldn't stand to wait any longer and had to tell me what he did. LOL! So, I thanked him. :) Written by Sharon from Sharon's Roses blog which has been deleted now...

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.  Titus 2:4-5 

Songs of deliverance

Corona has made her presence known world wide and there would hardly be a person on earth today who hasn't heard about it.

We are getting used to living our new normal with social distancing, vigilant hand washing and medical consultations by phone.

Corona has robbed many of their finances, employment and more importantly, their lives.

In Victoria our home state in Australia, there have been second waves in hotspots thoughout suburbs of Melbourne and we have seen total lockdown of those hotspots for the next six weeks at least.

It is all very depressing. But in order to boost morale, I have tried to be an encourager of my family and friends. 

In our home, I have adopted an attitude of gratitude for my home, being able to access food and medicines and for God keeping us safe from the virus.

I play worship songs, making sure they are uplifting and I try not to watch the news constantly.

I have also limited my FaceBook time as the feeds are totally depressing.

Remembering Psalms and scriptures of God's protection and deliverance also comforts us and lifts morale.

We need to encourage each other of the Blessed Hope, the Rapture of the Church which is imminent, according to all the signs we are told to watch for.

Time is short, we have to tell as many as we can that they must accept Jesus as their Saviour now-and we must encourage brothers and sisters in the LORD to look up.

I am no longer looking for the signs, but listening for the trumpet call- along with songs of deliverance.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

John 14:1-2 Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 

Sometimes healing's in the meds

There was a time when I fought taking medicines. It was at a time when the sermons were about what you say is what you get. Claiming your healing in Jesus' Name and getting healed: if you didn't, you lacked the faith to make it so. I now believe that this is unbalanced teaching and do not follow it. However, at the time it made me feel very guilty about taking my medicine.

I do believe that God heals today. And I do believe that faith can make you well. But I have lived long enough with chronic illness to know that this doesn't happen all the time and that most times our prayer should be "if it is Thy will, please heal me!" Faith teachings often miss the fact that God is God! His Will may not be an immediate healing...I don't know why: I just know that I must accept my health as being in His Will. To struggle against this is to make yourself worse through faulty and negative thinking. We are called to walk in faith, not by sight.

In those years, I felt extremely guilty because I suffered from depression that was caused by a chemical imbalance. I tried many times to come off my tablets, usually after a healing crusade, and I fell- straight into the Pit of Despair. This fall often required more medication than before to get me to the place of health I was in when I thought I had been healed. And it took many many weeks of feeling awful before they kicked in again. Not a good place to be.

As I grew in my faith and relinquished my health to the LORD, I acquired many more medications. All of them are vitally important to keep my heart functioning, my blood pressure normal, my blood thin, my cholesterol down, to prevent my kidneys from making kidney stones and to regulate my under active thyroid. Not to mention other things to keep my eyes from drying out and to minimise the pain of fibromyalgia and back problems and to reduce the gastric acid that some medications cause. And of course, the anti-depressants to normalise my neuro-transmitters.

Once I would have held these tablets in my hand and fought taking them. Not any more. I now adopt a spirit of gratitude as I take my medications, for without them I would not be alive for very long. I feel that my medications are a gift from God to allow me to love and serve Him a little longer here and now. Life is after all, God's Will and I am grateful for each new day.

I believe that God gave man the ability to make medications and that ensuring a better quality of life is in God's Will. For Christ came to give us abundant life. Laying in a sick bed with angina and pain is not an abundant life.

I would urge you to have a rethink about your medicines if you have been told that they aren't in God's Will for you. Try to adopt a glad and grateful attitude as you take them. Rejoice that you live in a place in the world where they are available and be glad. Joy and life are in the Will of God, or else why would we see Christ healing many ill and afflicted people? He told us He came to do the Will of His Father!

May you be well, no matter what it takes and may we bless the LORD together for His goodness to us!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him. Acts 10:38

Let your bed lamp shine

We recently talked about wanting to serve the LORD from where we are at: usually for us it's from our bed or recliner. 

But being faithful and serving God has nothing to do with our state of health. It's a state of heart.  The desire for godliness and holiness should still be there regardless of chronic illness.

I have found that the majority of sick Christians still want to serve God but feel that they have nothing to offer Him. They feel they cannot serve because of physical limitations.

This is not true. A faithful servant of God is one who loves God with her whole heart. She turns to Him for her daily survival in a physical world full of tribulation. And she longs to be used of her LORD.

The good news is: we can still be used of the LORD.  

With physical limitations comes more time on our hands, time that can be used to influence others. 

This influence can be from the confines of our bedroom, hospital room, wheel chair, walker, or doctors' waiting room. We can bring Jesus into the same places others occupy. 

When  we walk through the door even while leaning on a walking stick or crutches, we can still bring Jesus to others. Make no mistake, they will be watching.

Pray for opportunities to talk about Christ and the hope that is within you.  Be a blessing by being aglow with the Spirit and let others see that you indeed have Something that they want! 

If we can show that in spite of our outward appearance, we have Something worth having, people will be attracted to us regardless.  

Over the years, I have been in hospital- in traction for two weeks at a time, and I made an effort to pray for the nurses, cleaners, people who came with meals, physiotherapists and people who shared a room with me. 

Goodness knows, I had plenty of time to pray.  And though my prayers were for the most part silent, I believe that people responded to them without even knowing it.  They liked being around me. But it was the Holy Spirit that was the attractive part.  And He made me  smile so much that I was nicknamed "Smiley"

So,  you can sow seeds wherever you go- however you get there. And if you no longer leave your home for appointments or whatever, you can still hold people up in prayer from your home.

Bed is a wonderful place to pray and prayer is the best way you can serve God.  Prayer opens up doors for opportunity to grow, to trust, to care, to love and to find paths to witness for Christ. Service is totally possible. 

Nowhere in life is there a place where you cannot serve God by praying.  So start worshiping and praying Blanket Prayers  if you are bed bound, and read or listen to the Word.   You can always do something for Jesus.  

Let your bed lamp shine! 

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks

Do not neglect the spiritual gift that is in you. 1 Timothy 4:14a 

And so this was Christmas

So, I am sitting here the day after Christmas. I have absolutely no energy and the paracetamol tablets have done nothing to alleviate my pain from my fibromyalgia flare, my back ache and my sore arthritic feet.

My fibromyalgia has been flaring for the past five months since we started life in the fifth wheeler: well, actually it was flaring before that as we sold or gave away all our extraneous stuff and packed the van and closed up our rented house.

Prior to that we had the search for the fiver and a tow vehicle, then finding someone to put in the hitch and then the long tow back from Ballarat to Pakenham. A long round about trip. 

Three months into the trip, I tore my meniscus in the left knee again, and that put paid to being able to manage the seven steps up into the fiver. I became housebound and gained quite a bit of extra weight. We had to find a new rented home with no steps. 

We have just moved into a renovated farm house in a small country township in East Gippsland. We picked up the keys Monday 23rd December and of course the next day was Christmas Eve. We had made plans to see our little granddaughter open her presents and that meant staying overnight. We honestly felt so tired that we wished we could just cancel Christmas...

Christmas Day I helped my daughter cook and we had Christmas lunch there and then made the long trip home. I was so tired that I fell asleep on the drive home and nearly garrotted  myself on the seat belt. Chris said I was snoring sonorously. I believe him.

As it is our summer here in Australia, the weather was hot and this gave me trouble with my heart and caused my feet to swell alarmingly. I was so glad to get home and ditch my shoes and lay by the air conditioner for a bit.

This morning I took my sugars and was shocked by the high reading. I think I should not have had the choc ripple cake but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Although we still  have stuff to unpack from the fiver and put in place here, the house is basically functional and very cosy already. 

I did pause frequently to reflect on the reason for the season: the birth of our Saviour Jesus Christ. The best part is spreading love and spending time with family if possible. If they will allow it.

I cannot say how Christmas became so commercial and such a rush, but this year no one seemed very full of the festive spirit. In fact, most seemed flushed and rushed and to be honest, those we visited were bickering and fighting and that made me anxious.

As I pour myself the last of our egg nog and head to bed for a nana nap, I have purposed to stay at home next Christmas. It is time to accept that all the hype of what should be a holy and peaceful time, is playing havoc with my ageing body. 

The beauty of the Saviour's birth will not be lost on me, but I will lose the expectation of sweet family gatherings and realise that my family is dysfunctional. 

As I make my way to my room,  I bow my head in thanks for God's wonderful gift of His Son. And I pray for peace for my family and others like it. I hope you all had a better Christmas than we did.... and so, this was Christmas! 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD. Psalm 31:24

Telling it to our cat

As you probably know, we are in the process of finding a new rental to live in. We are currently living in a fifth wheeler, but I have torn my meniscus again and I cannot handle the seven steps to get in and out. I am practically housebound.

My mother passed away a year ago and I must say that I am still feeling her loss keenly. Coupled with my meniscus tear, exacerbated spinal pain because of the bed and stairs and pulled arm muscles from heaving myself up the three steps from the first level to the bedroom and ensuite, I have the Mother of all fibromyalgia flares with arthritis to boot. It has been one continuous flare since we moved in here four months ago.

My depression is compounded by the chronic pain which is constant and I have gained even more weight as I cannot move much. I am close to the Pit of Despair and something that happened yesterday didn't help me much either...

We had to go food shopping yesterday. Chris was bringing the groceries up into the fiver and I was slowly plodding my way towards the steps. A woman who has a caravan near us spoke to Chris then came up to me and offered me her hand as I painfully managed the stairs. I was so grateful and heartened that she bothered to help me. Not many people make the effort. 

At the halfway point wherein the flyscreen door swings out and one has to push it aside, I let go of her hand. I was telling her of the reason we were selling the fiver. At last I made it inside and I turned round to thank her, mid-sentence. She wasn't even there but I could see her almost at her caravan.

My feelings did a downward spiral as I realised I had been talking to myself and I felt again the loneliness of the chronically ill and disabled. From a fleeting feeling of respect and validation, I felt disrespected and my problems considered minor or of no consequence. The chronically ill or disabled will understand what I am speaking about.

We don't ask for constant validation and never ending compassion. We know that the "normals" who don't experience the pain and inconvenience of disease and disability, can't empathise, just sympathise. But what we do ask is that we be heard, respected and validated.  Nothing compounds our physical pain as much as being ignored, made fun of or marginalised. This is important to us..

The "normals" can even help prevent a trip to the Pit of Despair by showing a bit of interest and compassion to us, so please don't be like our neighbour in the caravan park who didn't want to know. 

I am not minimising the power of prayer, and we should pray and talk to the LORD, but we need another listening ear sometimes, but often people don't want to hear us and for all the good it does, we might just as well tell it to our cat. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

Coping with change and disappointment

As you know, we live in a fifth wheeler RV  We have been on the road for three months. Having sold or given away most of our stuff, we have very little left. But it didn't matter as this RV had most things we needed. It was a dream come true.

The dream is coming to an end. My body can't cope with RV life. All my ailments are exacerbated by living in the fifth wheel. I have torn my meniscus in my left knee and I can no longer manage to get up the seven steps and the three up into our bedroom and ensuite. I am almost housebound.

Because the bed is difficult to get in and out of, I need to pull myself up and my shoulder and neck muscles vie in hot contest of being the sorest. As a result, my polymyalgia rheumatica is back and bad.

I have to slide down the wall to help take pressure off my sore knee and this has played havoc with my spinal problems and after getting up the main steps, I suffer angina really badly.

My fatigue is so bad and my fibromyalgia is in a flare. The stress of finding a new house and forcing myself to use the steps in order to do that is causing me to go into a depression.

There's no way round it: no mobility aids to overcome the problem and we will have to sell the fiver. It is a very disappointing turn of events.

I had prayed that I would be making the right choice in buying the fiver and GMC tow vehicle and in how I used my inheritance my mother left me last year. I felt sure this was the way to go but three months into our venture, it is apparent that for me, it is not a lifestyle I can maintain.

In a Christian's life, there is nothing that God hasn't already seen, and in saying that, I must confess that I believe everything is for a purpose. Whatever is in the future is part of God's plan for my life.

In feeling the disappointment, I must remind myself of this. I look forward to looking over this chapter in my life's book and seeing God's purpose for this. God is good. All the time.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from. Ecclesiastes 3:11