Morning Cuppas With Glenys : twins

Showing posts with label twins. Show all posts

For my little angels

On wings of love we'd have laid you down,

Wrapped moonbeams round your sides,

We'd dim the light of distant stars

And sing you lullabies.

We'd linger round your cradle

As we'd gaze at you in awe-

To us you'd be as angels

Too perfect for this world.

You must have dreamt of Heaven

For you decided not to stay,

The angels came and took you

As under my heart you lay.

Now Jesus gently rocks you

In His strong and gentle arms,

We know now, little angels,

You are safe from any harm…

Lord, lay them down in a cradle of gold,

Tuck rainbows round their sides,

Cover them with Your angels’ wings

And if they ever cry-

Tell them Mum and Dad are coming

Just as soon as they awake-

Please kiss our little angels, Lord

And love them in our place.

"Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 18:10

Remembering my twins, Sarah Robyn and Ruth Glenys Urbani, born sleeping November 12, 1969

Mirror image all the way!

My twin sister Julie and I are not only identical, but we are mirror image twins. Mum said we were placed in a cot side by side and the mirroring was quite noticeable..

We have our natural hair parting on opposite sides, our teeth prior to dentures were mirrored, in fact our dentist put one X-ray of each of our mouths over each other and it was a perfect match!

I have a small mole on my left hand mouth edge and Julie has one on the right. Our profile is perfectly symmetrical when overlapping each other.

We have been known to throw a kidney stone from opposite sides at the same time as well.

We still play the game if someone has an ailment, we know immediately which hand the other twin has a trigger finger problem with- always we guess the opposite to the one we are experiencing ourselves. And we are right!

Mirroring each other has been a part of our life since we were quite young and it seems that it will be until our life finishes... and even in death, we will be mirroring..

Julie is sadly terminally ill with lupus and I have to have more heart stents which I have refused. As in life, so it will be in death... opposites.

Unless the LORD raptures us both, Julie will have a drawn out passing and typically opposite, I will drop like a stone with a heart attack, going very quickly.

It has been fun to be a twin, particularly a mirrored identical one. It is and has been a source of both amazement and amusement. We joke about it and how it will be- mirror image all the way!

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well-Psalm139:14

Teardrop babies.

WARNING- POSSIBLE TRIGGER FOR THOSE WHO HAVE LOST A BABY:

Many years ago, my mother went to the hospital bleeding heavily during her 13th week of pregnancy. It was unclear on her admission if she had in fact lost the baby she had planned. She was laying in the cubicle awaiting results of the examination of her lost tissue to see if she had miscarried or not. It was in the days before ultrasound.

Eventually a nurse came in, winked conspiratorially at Mum and announced that it looked like she had miscarried. Her demeanour was like she was the bearer of good news and that Mum should be grateful that she was no longer pregnant. Mum just turned her face to the wall and cried.

As a young woman, I too had a loss of a much wanted pregnancy. At the time I conceived, I had to have an emergency surgery. I was so ill for so long after the anaesthetic that it dawned on me that it could be morning sickness. It was.

I prayed that I would not lose the baby but it was not to be. A few weeks after my morning sickness disappeared- and I was always morning sick the entire 9 months with my other babies- I started bleeding.

Eventually I lost my baby and Mum had advised me to keep any tissue I lost to show the doctor. I fetched out my lost tissue and found a little embryo, all curled up and just forming its eyes. I was devastated.

I showed the little one to my then husband, who sniffed and said what a silly looking little thing it was! Something inside me died and I went outside and wept for the baby who would join its stillborn twin sisters, Sarah and Ruth in God's nursery. I named it Leslie because that name would do for either gender.

Wiping my eyes, I thought about how precious these lives were and how sad most women feel when they never see the light. By far there are more women who grieve over the loss of a baby than who feel relieved or rejoice. I decided that I would call lost babies Teardrop Babies. For many would shed a tear over their loss.

No Teardrop Baby is lost to God and is known to Him and that brings me some comfort. All mothers of those babes will see them again if they know the Giver of Life. I believe that goes for aborted children as well. Many a woman who aborted a baby will suffer great anguish over that choice and if she repents, God will forgive her and show her His great mercy and grace.

No matter what people tell us about our lost Teardrop Baby being just a bunch of cells or tissue, we know that they were our potential son or daughter and we will grieve for them with many tears. Another reason I call lost babes Teardrop Babies.

Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them. Psalm 139:16

It's not every day...

Over the last thirty years I have suffered from over fifty bi-lateral kidney stones. Sometimes after waiting agonising weeks, they would pass, but five times I required surgery to remove them. At one time, I had surgery twice in a month. It is the most painful of pains and surgery.

At each occasion, no one seemed interested in finding out why I made them, and didn't send them off to be analysed. I was miserable and lived in fear of the onset of back pain which signalled a stone was coming. Of course, being in traction for my back two weeks at a time didn't help matters. I always seemed to get a stone after being in hospital.

Fed up, after passing a charming 6mm jagged stone, I changed doctors and at last I found one who was curious to know why I kept making them. He kept the stone I showed him and sent it off for analysis. But better yet, he sent me to see a kidney specialist who was at the time associated with our local hospital in Dandenong.

The renal specialist was Margot McIver, a very approachable older lady, who became a pioneer in renal medicine in Australia. Margot spent a lot of the consultation questioning me about my health. She was interested that I had an identical twin. Then she noticed my maiden name, her interest was piqued.

Chalkley was a name that rang a bell with her. In her training days at the Queen Victoria Hospital Melbourne, she was treating my mother during our birth. Mum had pre-eclampsia and uterine inertia plus a bad kidney infection. She remembered our hurried delivery by high forceps- we were lying transverse and were both breech. She said she was in the observation gallery for trainee doctors and remembered it well. She said our birth was complicated and she learned a lot from her teacher doctor.

Margot was the only doctor ever to offer condolences for the still born twin girls I had given birth to in 1969 and to venture an opinion on the cause of their death in utero. Her opinion was an untreated kidney infection took their lives. Very common in multiple pregnancies, she said.

She had me do many blood tests and 24 hour samples of urine and later went on to diagnose me with calcium oxylate stones in uric acid. I was given allopurinol to reduce the uric acid in my blood and so give the calcium oxylate nothing to bind with. I have had no stones since taking it....

I was sad to read of her death in Queensland in 2012 at age 78 . She would have been the same age as my mother...

Margot will always be remembered for her compassionate and caring manner as well as medical expertise. I was amazed that I got to meet the doctor who looked after my mother and watched my birth at the training hospital. She touched me lightly on the arm as she said goodbye at my last visit and voiced what I had been thinking, "It was lovely to meet you: who would have thought?... it's not every day...!"

So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom. Psalm 90:12

His Cloak of Peace

When my youngest child, Dianne had Acute promyelocytic leukaemia, she was dangerously ill and in ICU three times. At one stage her kidneys were failing. Her body was shutting down.

They put her on dialysis three times and it was touch and go that she would make it through. You can imagine how I felt when they said they thought she was far too deteriorated to make it.

Naturally, I was asked to leave the ICU whilst they hooked her up, and to be honest, I just wanted to be alone. So I went down to the tea room for the patients and their family.

It suddenly hit me that I may never see Dianne alive again, and the horror of the last few weeks during which she was on chemo and reacted violently to it, overtook me and I cried.

Slumping down in the corner of the tiny tea room, I gave my daughter to God. He had every right to take her Home, but being a mother, I asked Him to spare her.

Goodness knows, Dianne was only 35 years old, a wife, and mother to three young children. She was needed here. Although she was a Christian and I knew she would be with the LORD, I wanted her here with me.

I prayed fervently, agreeing that whatever be His Will for her, that He was God. It was worse than the despair I felt when I gave birth to still born twin girls at 32 weeks. Up until then, I thought that was the worst thing that I had experienced. But I was wrong. Losing Dianne was something I couldn't endure.

Still slumped in the corner, I was overwhelmed with a peace that didn't make sense. Here we were in an emotional hell on earth, with Dianne's life hanging in the balance, and I was calm.

It was like a cloak of peace had been placed around my shoulders. It warmed me by routing the fear and it exuded a calm that permeated to my marrow. I knew it was the peace that passes all human understanding that God promises to us.

Because I was calm, I found my legs could still carry me- they were giving way to me in the tea room. I returned to the ICU where Dianne was on the dialysis.

I sat willing her to breathe and watching her breathing as if the very act was too tiring for her. I kissed her hand and silently prayed whilst she slept.

Three days later, she was being taught to walk again on the floor of the ICU and her kidney function was restored. Today, she is in remission for five years. They say it is extremely unlikely she will get APML back again...

This ordeal has shown me that we do have a Saviour Who is very involved in His childrens' lives. He is a good Father Who comforts His children when all else fails.

If Dianne had been called Home, I would not have lost faith in Him. But mercifully, He allowed her to live.

The warmth of the Peace He gave me in my most extreme anguished pain, is proof to me that He is a God of His Word. He truly gives us peace that is beyond understanding.

Call on the LORD in your own anguish and see that He is a caring and compassionate Father. There's nothing like His Cloak of Peace around your shoulders.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

Blessed beyond measure!

Time goes by so fast: I have just held my first newborn great-grandchild Evie, and she took me back to when I first held her mother Sarah, my first grandchild. She looked so like her that it took my breath away in a sigh of delight, sadness, nostalgia and love.

I was there beside my Sarah's mother when she gave birth to her. Indeed, she owes her life to me being interested in midwifery, for I was her mother's advocate when she started bleeding at ten weeks. In the hospital, the doctors concluded that Sarah was miscarried without even doing an ultrasound. They planned a D & C for the next morning.

Asking if there was much dilatation, they said no so I asked if they had done an ultrasound. They replied there was no need as they were sure there was no baby there. I asked them to do one before the scheduled surgery just to be sure. And sure enough, there was a healthy ten week old fetus!

To this day, we believe my first grandchild was a twin which was miscarried, as I am a twin, I had still-born twins and twins were in both sides of the family. But sad as potentially losing a twin was, we rejoice that we have Sarah and that I demanded they check with an ultrasound. They were so cavalier about it and would have technically aborted her.

A few months later I had the joy of acting as doula to her mother and my granddaughter's little features were etched permanently in my mind. Sarah was after all, a female carbon copy of my own first child, her father.

Seeing little Evie's face for the first time was a total spin out! A mixture of delight, sadness, nostalgia and love, as I said. Delight too that I was at last a great-grandmother after two years of infertility for Sarah, sadness that the time has gone so quickly, and love for this baby who shared a comic resemblance to those other sweet babies of my past.

As I lifted Evie up onto my shoulder, I whispered a prayer of thanks to God and of welcome to our family, in her ear, just as I had done for my own babies and theirs. God is so wonderful! I am blessed beyond measure!

Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers. Proverbs 17:6

A bitter-sweet day!

Today is my granddaughter, Ashleigh's 20th birthday. It is a day when our family will be celebrating her birth, but for another family it is a day of deep mourning.

My granddaughter's birth was a very complicated one. It was a very protracted labour as first deliveries can often be, and after 17 hours of intense labour, my daughter requested and was given an epidural. Her partner left the room when she fell asleep, but I as her doula, stayed. I asked the midwife what the graphs on the fetal monitor were supposed to read. She explained it all to me, boosted the Oxytocyn drip up higher and told me she would be in to check on her in 2 hours. They were rushed off their feet with every delivery room full.

I had noticed some meconium stain when I was assisting my daughter, and I had privately advised the staff. The baby was under some stress and to my mind, the stage was set for a possible emergency caesarean. I was proved right.

With my daughter sleeping on three pillows, exhausted, there was nothing for me to do but watch the fetal monitor. I am sure God had planned for me to be there, for things went horribly wrong with the babys' heartbeat dipping dangerously during a contraction and not picking up after. My daughter would have been alone but as I saw it, I ran to the nurses' station and told them to come urgently. Within 10 minutes the child was born.

If it hadn't been for me staying with my daughter instead of going for a coffee, I would not have noticed the dipping heart rate until the babe was flat lining. My daughter would have delivered a still-born daughter as they weren't even going to check on her for 2 hours. I remember seeing no staff around near the nurses' station and every door to each birthing room was closed. I had to grab a midwife as she came out with some dirty linen.

Ashleigh was touch and go for a while but recovered quickly. Not so for some poor woman and her baby in the long corridor of delivery rooms. There was a distinct pall over the maternity floor and to this day I wonder just which room was the final resting place of a young mother and her unborn baby.

As the mother of still-born twins, I know the pain of loss, but I can't fathom the loss that the young father must have felt. Not to mention any other children the couple may have had and the girls' parents who lost not only a child but a grandchild as well.

I am so grateful to God that we have a healthy young woman today, but I have to try not to dwell on the fact that somewhere a family mourns the loss of a mother and child. Life is full of tragedy... full of bittersweet days that herald a new life and see the passing of another.

Please join me in saying a quick prayer for that mourning family... it's all I can do for them. Oh, and happy birthday, Ashleigh!

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up [that which is] planted; Ecclesaistes 3:1-2

What God thinks of children: a study

How many times have we heard disbelief and dismay of relatives and friends when it is discovered that a new life is on the way? And worse still, how many people have (hopefully only for a moment), thought or worse still, actually voiced that they may very well terminate it? It’s a fact that quite a large percentage of babies weren’t actually planned, but that is only in our thinking. There are no accidents or unwanted children in God’s sight. Do you know that God blesses us with conception and withholds conception as a punishment?

Genesis 49:25 [Even] by the God of thy father, who shall help thee; and by the Almighty, who shall bless thee with blessings of heaven above, blessings of the deep that lieth under, blessings of the breasts, and of the womb: That is not to say that women trying to conceive are being punished, of course. But in scripture, God encourages us to be fruitful vines and says we will be saved in childbearing.

Exodus 1:7 And the children of Israel were fruitful, and increased abundantly, and multiplied, and waxed exceeding mighty; and the land was filled with them. Leviticus 26:9 For I will have respect unto you, and make you fruitful, and multiply you, and establish my covenant with you Psalm 128:3 Thy wife [shall be] as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table. 1Timothy 2:15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

And again when the house of Abimelech had Sarah, Abraham’s wife in his harem posing as Abraham’s sister, God closed all the wombs in the palace. That was how Abimelech knew something was amiss in his house! Why? Because the blessing of conception was withheld!

Genesis 20:2 And Abraham said of Sarah his wife, She [is] my sister: and Abimelech king of Gerar sent, and took Sarah. Genesis 20:3 But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, Behold, thou [art but] a dead man, for the woman which thou hast taken; for she [is] a man's wife. Genesis 20:4 But Abimelech had not come near her: and he said, Lord, wilt thou slay also a righteous nation? Genesis 20:8 Therefore Abimelech rose early in the morning, and called all his servants, and told all these things in their ears: and the men were sore afraid. Genesis 20:9Then Abimelech called Abraham, and said unto him, What hast thou done unto us? and what have I offended thee, that thou hast brought on me and on my kingdom a great sin? thou hast done deeds unto me that ought not to be done. Genesis 20:10 And Abimelech said unto Abraham, What sawest thou, that thou hast done this thing? Genesis 20:14 And Abimelech took sheep, and oxen, and menservants, and womenservants, and gave [them] unto Abraham, and restored him Sarah his wife. Genesis 20:15 And Abimelech said, Behold, my land [is] before thee: dwell where it pleaseth thee. Genesis 20:17 So Abraham prayed unto God: and God healed Abimelech, and his wife, and his maidservants; and they bare [children]. Genesis 20:18 For the LORD had fast closed up all the wombs of the house of Abimelech, because of Sarah Abraham's wife.

God has formed us in the secret place and knits our bodies together.

Isaiah 44:2 Thus saith the LORD that made thee, and formed thee from the womb, [which] will help thee; Fear not, O Jacob, my servant; and thou, Jesurun, whom I have chosen. Isaiah 44:24 Thus saith the LORD, thy redeemer, and he that formed thee from the womb, I [am] the LORD that maketh all [things]; that stretcheth forth the heavens alone; that spreadeth abroad the earth by myself; He saw our form before we had one- He knows us before we are born! Genesis 25:23 And the LORD said unto her, Two nations [are] in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and [the one] people shall be stronger than [the other] people; and the elder shall serve the younger. Genesis 25:24 And when her days to be delivered were fulfilled, behold, [there were] twins in her womb. Jeremiah 1:5 Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, [and] I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

We are all unique- even identical twins are not identical in every sense. I know that with a certainty, for I am a mirror image twin. Yet we are different. Each person conceived is special in the LORD’S sight! How it must grieve Him when we express shock and dismay at His wonderful gift of conception! The godly woman will understand that she is being blessed when she discovers a new life is coming- she will welcome children as a gift from the LORD.

Psalms 127:3 Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward. And again we see a blessing! Genesis 29:31 And when the LORD saw that Leah [was] hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel [was] barren.

But the ungodly often will react quite differently, spurning the blessing and often taking means to reject it! My heart grieves for those blessings disposed of heartlessly when many a woman desperate for a child would be more than willing to bring it up. God has a purpose and plan for our lives- even known before we are born. To reject the great gift of conception is to reject one of the greatest gifts and blessings that God can bestow on us. For although a child may not fit in with our plans, God can undertake to provide both materially and emotionally for that child. There are absolutely no accidents, no mistakes in timing, no inconveniences in God’s plan!

I have seen women who vowed to reject the gift of conception by terminating it, bond so intensely with the child when it is in their arms, that they give praise to God for the “inconvenience” and bless Him for their child. I also have known countless couples reject their gift of conception by submitting to sterilisation- only to regret it at a later date. Often a reversal does not repair that which was “fixed” when it was not broken.

They pay a high price often, for trying to play a role of life-giver or rejecter- a role that is God’s alone! How precious indeed is the gift of a child, and indeed the gift of conception. May we never take this gift lightly, or reject it or be dismayed! God’s plans and thoughts are so much higher than ours!

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

How our rejection of Gods' greatest gift to us after salvation, must hurt Him! For God, there are no unwanted children. If only all people would understand that!

But Jesus called them [unto him], and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.Luke 18:16

Don't throw your husband out

Isn’t becoming a mother just the most intense experience both physically and emotionally? For me, it was the most fulfilling time of my life! I remember the anxious waiting for my son’s birth- doubly anxious because I had given birth to still-born twins in my seventh month previously. And as I waited anxiously for his birth, I also wondered what exactly my husband was experiencing emotionally. Outwardly, he seemed unconcerned, but I knew he must have had some anxiety as well- he was looking forward to this child as much as I. So I thought about how this child would change our marital relationship- would it bring us closer or cause some distance between us?

You see, I had friends who had dreamt all their lives of being a mother, and when that supreme moment came, they invested so much of their time and energy into motherhood that they often neglected their husbands. Many men were battling anxieties caused through feeling second-best or neglected… not only in the love-making area, but in all areas. Suddenly the world revolved around the baby and they felt like they were just the breadwinner and of no special significance to their wives. Some of them even carried guilt because they felt jealous of their own child. And some of them even strayed because of it. I didn’t want this to happen.

As soon as Mark was born, they handed him to me…I drank in the sight of him and immediately handed him up to his father. As I did with the other children as well. I made every effort to include him in not only the baby’s life, but I made sure that he had no doubt that I still regarded him as my friend, my lover and my husband. There were times when the baby needed my attention of course, but I made sure that I made time to listen to what my husband had to say, to cook his favourite meals and to be demonstratively affectionate to him. He was so proud of each of our babies and was a very good father. (We later on had problems in our marriage that were totally unrelated to him feeling second best after their birth.)

I have encouraged my own daughters to remember that they are wives first and mothers second. They have been encouraged as well to put their husbands first in everything so as to avoid the mistakes I have seen new mothers sometimes make. Being a mother would not be anywhere near as wonderful an experience if we lost our marriages in the process. So, new mothers and young ladies, I would encourage you too- don’t throw your husband out with the baby’s bathwater!

"That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children," Titus 2:4