Morning Cuppas With Glenys : Adultery

Showing posts with label Adultery. Show all posts

A Spotless Bride

Recently I read about the high incidence of pastors being in involved in pornography. Pornography is sin. It is sex.

As Christians we are called to be apart from the world, not in it. We are called to be holy. We are called to bring our thoughts under the captivity of Christ.

Pastors have a greater accountability to Christ as handlers of the Word. They should not be involved in the works of darkness themselves and should be denouncing it from the pulpit.

Why is pornography wrong? you ask.

Pornography invalidates the one flesh relationship of the covenant of marriage.
It denigrates married love to animal baseness and allows women to be used as sex objects instead of loved tenderly.
Women who engage in pornography also tend to treat men with little respect.
It encourages selfish love making and greater expectation of the act
It can make a woman feel dirty and effects her relationship with her husband if he watches it
It creates a lustful mindset that overflows into the heart and becomes sinful actions.
It encourages a roving eye and Jesus says that is adultery in the heart therefore sin.

Satan has hoodwinked society into believing that pornography is fine, but the results are catastrophic. Everything that God has said is good, Satan has substituted with evil.

Darkness is deepening. Christ is soon to return. Keep oil in your lamps. Keep your garments clean. Present yourself as a spotless Bride. Jesus Christ deserves a pure Bride-and She deserves pure minded pastors that should be leading them in holiness, having holy and clean hands as they touch the Word of God and they must be above reproach! A spotless Bride!

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God -Romans 12:2

Above reproach

Recently I read about the high incidence of pastors being in involved in pornography. Pornography is sin. It is sex.

As Christians we are called to be apart from the world, not in it. We are called to be holy. We are called to bring our thoughts under the captivity of Christ.

Pastors have a greater accountability to Christ as handlers of the Word. They should not be involved in the works of darkness themselves and should be denouncing it from the pulpit.

Why is pornography wrong? you ask.

Pornography invalidates the one flesh relationship of the covenant of marriage.
It denigrates married love to animal baseness and allows women to be used as sex objects instead of loved tenderly.
Women who engage in pornography also tend to treat men with little respect.
It encourages selfish love making and greater expectation of the act
It can make a woman feel dirty and effects her relationship with her husband if he watches it
It creates a lustful mindset that overflows into the heart and becomes sinful actions.
It encourages a roving eye and Jesus says that is adultery in the heart therefore sin.

Satan has hoodwinked society into believing that pornography is fine, but the results are catastrophic. Everything that God has said is good, Satan has substituted with evil.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God -Romans 12:2

So let's not argue

I was having a heart to heart with a friend and as old friends do, confidences were shared. Talking over milestone events in our lives, I shared that I was pregnant to my fiance at 16.

My friend sniffed, and announced that she was a virgin at marriage. She was looking down her nose at me. And it duly got up it. Why? you may ask...

This same friend who was judging me for my premarital sexual relationship later on committed adultery against her husband who rightly avoided sleeping with her prior to their marriage. The stink of her hypocrisy rose in my nostrils and in my gall.

Likewise, my paternal grandmother who was pregnant at her marriage refused to come to mine because I was in the same delicate condition. Her hypocrisy also made me angry as well as sad.

We are so quick to judge and call each other out, when in fact we are guilty of transgressing God's law because we are all sinners. Christ was the only Man to walk the earth and not sin.

Premarital sex and adultery are both sin and each in its' own right was the reason why we needed a Saviour to bear that sin in our place. Each sin- every sin- necessitated Christ's sacrifice to redeem us.

Before we assume that we are more virtuous than another, we would do well to remember that our own sin led Christ to Calvary just as the sin of another did. There's none of us guiltless and sinless.

As we ponder or dismay at the sins of mankind, we would do well to remember that but by the grace of God, go I. Sin is sin. It all had to be cleansed by the precious Blood of Christ.

My sin- your sin is ugly. We all need to repent and accept God's grace and forgiveness and not judge. We have been redeemed, cleansed and set apart from whatever sin we committed. So let's not argue.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:7

A marriage made in Heaven

So today is our 23rd wedding anniversary. I am so pleased to tell you that in spite of it being a bumpy ride sometimes owing to family illnesses and drama, we are still very much in love- and grateful to the LORD.

We both believe God brought us together, and it is no coincidence that two weeks after we both prayed for a partner, we met.

I had been living alone for three years after divorcing my violent ex-husband and for the last few months before meeting Chris, I had gone out with a girlfriend I met at Business College. It was easier for us both to go out together, rather than a woman by herself.

Longing for a husband, I remember praying to God and asking Him to find a mate for me. I was feeling desperately alone and I wore that loneliness like a cloak of gloom over my shoulders. In this prayer, I asked God to help me enjoy my life if it was His will that I remain single.

Rising up from my knees, I felt a sense of hope and purpose, and although the prayer was just uttered, I felt happier and more content. Anyway, back to my friend.

This friend was very hospitable and we often shared a meal at each other's home. She had car problems, and as Chris had been an Automobile Association Road Patrolman in England, and a Royal Automobile Club Victoria Road Patrolman here in Australia, she thought she would ask him to come have a look at it and stay for dinner.

She asked me if I minded if Chris came for dinner, and as I had decided to make more friends and enjoy my singleness, I said that was fine and thought nothing more about it until that evening.

So when I arrived for dinner, Chris was already there and he was seated in the kitchen. I know it is cliche, but it was love at first sight. We were engaged in 2 months and married a year later.

To this day, Chris insists it was a set up, but I can honestly say it wasn't an earthly setup, but we believe it was a heavenly appointment.

As it turned out, Chris came home from work and was feeling alone and despondent. He too wanted a wife- someone to love him, and he prayed. His prayer was almost identical to mine and we worked out it was at about the same time!

Such was the chemistry between us that our courtship and engagement was a whirlwind romance! We knew it was the LORD'S doing.

From day one, I have been at Chris's side, working as his jockey in his Courier business. We got to know each other very well and have literally been inseparable.

We were married in the Melbourne Registry Office 27th June 1998, and renewed our vows with pastors three years ago after my ex-husband passed. This was to include the LORD officially in our marriage as the Registry Office wedding was very quick and clinical.

We did not get to recite our own vows or include the LORD which was a disappointment to us. So we made it right, even though we lived out our marriage with Him included from day one.

So today we both reflect on the rapidity of those 24 years since we met and our 23 years of marriage, and we see the LORD'S Hand in it. We have weathered many a storm, yet the good ship Hicks is still very much afloat.

God has healed us of past hurts in our first marriages: I have learned that there are good kind men in the world and Chris has learned that there are women who love their husbands and are faithful to their vows.

With grateful hearts, we bless and thank the LORD for His goodness and compassion to us in giving us a marriage made in Heaven.

Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. Isaiah 30:18

Warning danger ahead!

Have you, like me, been totally appalled lately with what you see on TV? We watch an English serial called “The Bill” Currently the Detective Inspector is having an affair with a very attractive Police Constable and the whole context is that the DI’s wife is prudish, frigid, inferior and the PC is anything but. The scriptwriters purposely make the cheating spouse attractive and the betrayed spouse unattractive! This is promoting adultery as an attractive past time. And denigrates marriage.

Similarly, there are many shows on TV now which try to push us to accept homosexuality as a normal lifestyle. Indeed, The Bill is one which seems to portray 90% of the English Police Force as gay. It is a sad fact that more teenagers than ever before are accepting this lifestyle as a valid choice and can see no wrong in being gay. Such is the strength of the media that it is turning our children so far away from the things of the LORD.

How many times have we queued up at the supermarket trying desperately to block our children’s eyes from the half-naked women in the magazines at the checkout? Or went into the service station to pay for our petrol and found racks of XXX magazines in plain sight? Where are we supposed to look? We are literally being bombarded by pornography and filth from all quarters.

We wives and mothers must guard our homes from such pollution, for there is danger ahead. There is danger in allowing our children or grandchildren to be exposed to this filth and bad messages. We have to make sure that our homes are clean in every way. We must faithfully make sure that any music, literature, videos or games are clean and we MUST monitor any TV or DVDs that our children and grandchildren watch. And with the advent of the Net, we must monitor where the children are surfing to. It is so easy (and dangerous too), to have them travel where no children should go.

Woe to the parents who allow their children the “luxury” of a TV in their room. I warn you, there is danger ahead if you allow them to watch anything they desire. Because there is so much emphasis on sex today, the small child can become a walking encyclopaedia of not only The Act, but procreation in or out of marriage, adultery, homosexuality, and all ungodliness. Not to mention witnessing murders, kidnappings, rapes and burglaries at an alarming rate- and taking it all on board, absorbing all this evil like little sponges.

Yes, there is danger ahead. Danger of seeing too much too soon. Of becoming old before their time. Of accepting violence and force as a normal way of living. Precocious and street-wise and hardened. Hardened to feeling compassion for the hurting and hardened to the very basics of Christianity like forgiveness and kindness.

This will take a lot more than a night-time story, glass of milk and “God bless Mummy and Daddy” prayers to fix. For the danger is that little minds will be forever corrupted by what they absorb NOW. And the images foisted on young brains will be contrary to all our lessons on purity and holiness- and it will take a miracle to erase them from our children’s consciousness.

There is danger ahead- but there is safety too. The danger is in ignoring what your children are watching, listening to, surfing to and reading, and the safety is in being diligent in monitoring what comes into your home. We can’t change the world, but we can protect our children’s world in our homes.

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.l”. Romans 12:2

Cheating fingertips

Flirting is always dangerous for unmarried people trying to stay pure, to engage in, but for married couples, it is often an enticement to commit adultery. Never before has it been easier than with the internet!

Online chat groups and mixed gender pool rooms etc promote not only flirting, but immorality. Two of our family members have been divorced because of online chat room romances. They were left by their errant spouses because their spouses had found someone else online. It is a sad state of affairs! Literally!

Online or cyber sex is *sex*... it is just as damaging as real life sex to the emotional and trusting side of marriage and is sin! For this reason, Chris and I never go into online chat lines or strike up cyber friendships with the opposite sex. We are aware of the dangers! But a lot of people aren’t apparently. They become attached to someone online and sometimes this can lead to a rendezvous or an affair and sometimes, as in our family, sometimes a divorce.

Often when an online friendship is struck up, it starts off innocently enough, but can often escalate. Especially once flirting and innuendo takes over. Which is often. So, because we value and protect our marriage, we never go online and chat, except to our family.

Flirtatious behaviour is sinful, especially when done trying to entice someone else's husband! It is not proper behaviour for a Christian. We are wise to avoid chat rooms, messaging etc and any other behaviour that entices someone to sin and/or lust over someones’ marriage partner.

In marriage our whole body and mind should be devoted to our spouse. That includes your fingertips!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. Matthew 5:28

Silent wings

As you probably know, Chris and I have been married before. He was deserted as she went with her boss, and I was severely abused. The emotional pain of separation took its' toll on us, especially as they both were long marriages..

We never really achieved true bonding with our first spouses (because they didn't love us), but twenty-one years after our marrying, we are still amazed at the depth of intimacy in our marriage. We guard our marriage and both of us believe it is our first priority after God...

Our marriage must be our first priority after God for like any relationship, they can slowly die off if not tended. It is like air from a tyre: a slow leak can eventually do as much damage as a blow out!

We love a particular song by Tina Turner called On Silent Wings. It describes exactly what can happen in a marriage that is not tended... We never want to find ourselves in a loveless marriage again and we purposely cultivate intimacy- and I am not talking only of sex, even though that is important to enhance it. I am talking of spiritual bonding, cleaving and longing for each other... the hallmark of a successful marriage...

Becoming one is God's plan for marriage, and cleaving to each other is critical to its' survival. Today with so many things pulling us away from home, it is easy to become complacent about our marriage and eventually it can fizzle out.

"Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Ephesians 5:33

Of all things in this world, attending to our marriage is critical. It deserves our best effort because not only has God ordained it, but our family and home depend on it. Marriage is the foundation of civilisation .... let's make sure ours is a good one with no silent wings...

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24

It's too much effort!

We live in a society that disposes of things that could be repaired, without so much as a thought. The TV goes grainy, or the washer breaks down, and immediately a new one is purchased. Friendships are left for dead at the slightest argument instead of working on it and preserving it. On average a person will move house every 4 years.

We are geared to instant fixes and change.Raising children is often too much effort and the mother will leave her children in day care when it isn't even necessary that she work outside the home. Or if the family is affluent, children are packed off to boarding school so others have the task of raising them.

Something that I find worrying is the increase in divorce, even amongst the church. People in general bail out too soon in their marriage and don't allow much time to sort out difficulties. Because of society's immediate gratification leaning, often they find that working through problems takes far too much effort.t is easier to simply give up on it.

In line with this, I am completely baffled that often divorced people say that they remain good friends and that they have an amicable relationship. T hey often say that they are better friends now than when they were married. I wonder about that and my question is- if they can remain good friends, then why are they divorced?

A quite common occurrence in society today is the trial separation... In my opinion, this is the first step to complete breakdown of a marriage. Reconciliation is much harder with separate lives. In fact, statistics show that most married people who are in a trial separation either quickly learn to enjoy their pseudo freedom, or another person enters the scene, thereby causing adultery to become part of this new lifestyle. It brings death to a marriage and violates scripture for Christian marriage. 1 Corinthians 7:5

Please note that I am not talking about a separation for spousal abuse of you or your children.... if you are being abused, it is imperative that you distance yourself from it. There must be time given for repentance for the abuser and it only is sensible that you are away from harm whilst waiting for change..

What society doesn't take into account much is that trial separation, unfaithfulness, divorce and lack of effort in restoring relationships exact a terrible toll on any children of the marriage. Far better to work things out under the same roof and keep the family intact. Alas, with today's society, it usually is too much effort!

Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: Hebrews 12:14