I'm plain and tidy
I love being mistress of my home
Whatsoever things
As I got older, I became morose and sad. My good years were behind me. Chronic illness overtook my and I resented it so much. It turned inward and made me sink into a depression.
I overcame this by deciding to accept my limitations and to love myself enough to rest, eat well and be grateful for the very fact that I was still alive.
I didn't want to stay in the Pit of Despair, so I gave all my anger and sadness to the LORD. I decided to look at whatsoever things were lovely, and to count my blessings..
This helped me recover spiritually and emotionally. I didn't realise how much my self talk and negativity had brought me down.
If you want to fly, you have to release your burdens so they don't weigh you down, so tell the LORD about it, for it is He Who will release you and help you fly.
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8
We have to talk
Thrown out like an old shoe.
Make peace a priority
- Let us make sure we keep our homes clean and aired.
- Let us try to stay to a routine that gives us time to teach our children.
- Let us remember that our children will be picking up and hearing fearful information, so let us be particularly loving with them.
- Let us make meals that not only fill our family's stomach, but nourish them. Give them something to look forward to at meal times.
- Let us be loving with our husband- chances are he has worries about employment and like you, is concerned about how to stretch the finances and keep the roof over your head and food on the table.
- Let us try to avoid speaking constantly about the ills of this current state of the world in front of the children. They may be young, but they will take in a lot of fear. If the parents are afraid, then for them, it is the end of the world.
- Let us limit watching the news as this is bound to effect everyone. Limit news to finding out directly what you need to know and turn it off.
- Let us watch uplifting videos, especially with our children and let's play with them. Make a cubby house and let your children be the Mum and you the child. Use your imagination and delight them.
- Let us put our little ones into the bath and sit alongside them, singing songs and telling stories and blowing bubbles with them.
- Let us have a sense of calm and peace in our home, for everyone to enjoy.
- Let us be particularly attentive and available to our spouse and fan the flames of romance. It works wonders for a marriage.
- Let us sit at table and teach the little ones etiquette, and have the table set nicely to make it a time of pleasure and unity.
- Let us continue with a daily nightly bedtime routine for the children and keep regular sleeping hours.
- Let us pray with our children at night as they go to bed, allowing them to know that God loves them, watches out for them and calls all the stars by name. Invite discussion of any worries so that they can be reassured and sleep better.
- Let us keep up with our own appearance and hygiene, for that will make us feel more like we can cope.
- Let us use the fine crockery, tableware, cloth serviettes and silver utensils. Drag out the best linen and softest towels and celebrate home and family.
- Let us remember to pray for others, particularly for those for whom isolation means domestic violence. Have this link on hand for help if you or someone you know needs protection and advice.
- Let us remember to keep close to the LORD Who has gone to prepare a place for us, and is coming to take us Home with Him soon.
When our world is turned upside down
Sometimes we struggle to get a grip of the ramifications that illness makes in our life, but sooner or later, we are going to have to get our head around the fact that things will change. To function, they have to.
If diagnosis of an illness has caused a depression which lingers for more than a few weeks or causes panic attacks, I suggest that a doctor is seen for antidepressants. These may be needed only short term until the illness is accepted. And it must be accepted sooner or later.
Only in coming to terms with being chronically ill, can we make plans to handle the changes that being ill will bring. We will need to plan our days as wives, mothers and homemakers. (See Lists)
We must cling to Jesus and allow Him to minimise the shock and help us regain our focus. We must also plan our treatments and care.
Scary as it is, chronic illness must be addressed as soon as we are able... our future and our family's future depend on us accepting our illness so that we can move on. Easier said than done when your world has been turned upside down.
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
Dead tired
Making the most of my spoons
The Queen of List Making
Even so, He is Lord!
Chronic illness can make us feel that God is far away, so it is important to remember that our salvation does not rely on our feelings. For which I am truly grateful.
It is also important for us to turn to God when we feel at our worst. He is there to comfort and strengthen us in our worst pain and sadness.
Our faith can take a beating when we are in pain, but if we turn towards God, coming to Him like a tired and sick child, He will show us the depth of His love, compassion and comfort.
Don't berate yourself for feeling like He doesn't care or see... that only compounds our sadness. By turning to Him, even with tears, you will find the Compassion of a God Who understands pain because He died on a cross for you.
I don't know why God has chosen the path of suffering for me, but it is in that moment that I truly must acknowledge these thoughts and feelings and come to Him regardless. For even so, He is LORD.
Clean enough to be healthy
Don't relinquish your role!
After a few years of this, I noticed that my daughter, who was a teenager at the time, was changing her attitude towards me. She became cheeky and sassy and answered me back constantly. Whenever I appealed for some backup from her father, he would defend her. I felt isolated and lonely in my own home.
As she grew older, I noticed that they both talked more than he and I did, and there was a definite bond and camaraderie. I felt like the third wheel.
In the morning I would make my beds and maintain my home, and when my daughter came home from school, she would pull them all back and redo them, stating that they weren't made properly.
Often my ex-husband would come home to unmade beds and he would start screaming at me, swearing and calling me horrid names. He didn't believe me when I told him I had made them and that she had pulled them back for me to make again. Honestly, with my ill health, once a day was enough for me to find the strength to make them.
In the end, I didn't make them, letting her do them when she got home from school. It was just wasting my precious spoons (energy) for nothing- they would be remade and I would get a tongue lashing regardless.
I think this was where the rug was pulled from under my feet. I gradually was treated like a naughty child by both my ex-husband and my eldest daughter. In fact when we were moving house and it was time to choose the colours and tiles etc, they conferred and I was just informed what it would be.
To say that I was not mistress of my own home is an understatement. I was an annoying lazy freeloader according to them. I couldn't work outside the home and they begrudged me anything at all.
When finally I could no longer keep any food down due to fear and depression, and sick of punched arms and bruises, I decided to leave. And in my confusion, I grabbed some clothes pegs with my clothes and this was duly reported to her father who demanded them to be returned.
I don't believe even today that there was any sexual connection with my daughter and her father, but there was a bond that cemented them together, but which excluded me. And I was powerless to change it and my cries for marriage counselling fell on deaf ears. It became too much.
Truly, three in a marriage is never what God intended. Nor did He intend for a man to cleave to his daughter and deny his wife due regard and respect. It is not a normal marriage.
So why do I tell you this? you ask. Because you must find the strength to fight being made an outsider in your role as a wife, mother and home maker. You simply must demand respect from your husband, even if it exhausts you. You must insist on respect from your children.
I wish I had been aware of this earlier and been firmer, but I can only say that I was beaten down so badly by him and chronic illness, that I could hardly stand. Start defending your right to be a wife and a respected mother. Your role is ordained by God. Don't relinquish it.
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
But by the grace of God go I
I'm my own worst enemy!
It makes my spoons quiver!
Let your bed lamp shine
Do not neglect the spiritual gift that is in you. 1 Timothy 4:14a
Hanging on by a thread revisited
You just got to pass it on!
I ran our new irobot roomba vacuum last night. Xena hated it and ran under the bed. Roomba chased her under it and she came out like a scalded cat and bushy tailed.
Don't worry, she got lots of cuddles afterwards, but it was the funniest thing that's happened in a long time.
I highly recommend a roomba. It's very easy to operate and manages interchanging between carpets and tiled floors. It's really great when you have cats or dogs as it gets the fur vacuumed up easily.
Last night ours kept bumping into things as my phone is too old to download the app to schedule and program it. It still did a great job. I am keen to see how much better it does when I update my phone.
We are just staying home this weekend as there's going to be a few days of physios and doctors for Dianne next week. Being oldies, we are bushed! But ya gotta do what ya gotta do! Fibro flare or not!
I am not getting paid for advertising roomba but when you find something that helps with fibromyalgia and other chronic illnesses, you just have to pass it on!