Fibro gets personal

Fibromyalgia has us unsure of where exactly our body is hurting, but for some of us, pain isn't the only symptom we have. There is one other that vies for our attention: itch!

My body itches everywhere.... my face is so itchy that I scratch at it until it bleeds. I use a ruler to scratch my shoulders, back and nape.

Sometimes in the morning my nails have blood under them where I have scratched my scalp. For this reason, I cannot get my grey hair dyed as I would get chemicals in my scalp.

Tags on my clothes cause me to itch unbearably so I cut them off. My hair blowing on my face or neck drives me insane with itch, so I keep my hair very short these days.

After all these twenty plus years of suffering with fibromyalgia, it has now gotten very personal. Very. And I have spoken to a few women I know well enough to ask, and who have fibro and they all agree that it has progressed from what we all discuss to now becoming very personal. You could say: intimate.

We have found that regardless of whether we have just showered or bathed, we suffer intense itching in our personal areas. 

So intense is this itch that it wakes us up and whips us into an itching frenzy. We are not satisfied until we have scratched ourselves raw.

Likewise, under our overhang on our lower abdomen, we have itch that drives us insane as well. And irregardless of hygiene- we have itching in the groins and back of the legs where the leg joins the groin.

It seems that fibromyalgia is a syndrome that annoys one to the inth degree and delights in attacking every phase and aspect of our life and body.

It gives one a new found compassion for the poor dog scraping itself along the ground with extreme personal itch.  One can relate.  Nothing gets more personal than fibro! 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. 3 John 1:2

Telling it to our cat

As you probably know, we are in the process of finding a new rental to live in. We are currently living in a fifth wheeler, but I have torn my meniscus again and I cannot handle the seven steps to get in and out. I am practically housebound.

My mother passed away a year ago and I must say that I am still feeling her loss keenly. Coupled with my meniscus tear, exacerbated spinal pain because of the bed and stairs and pulled arm muscles from heaving myself up the three steps from the first level to the bedroom and ensuite, I have the Mother of all fibromyalgia flares with arthritis to boot. It has been one continuous flare since we moved in here four months ago.

My depression is compounded by the chronic pain which is constant and I have gained even more weight as I cannot move much. I am close to the Pit of Despair and something that happened yesterday didn't help me much either...

We had to go food shopping yesterday. Chris was bringing the groceries up into the fiver and I was slowly plodding my way towards the steps. A woman who has a caravan near us spoke to Chris then came up to me and offered me her hand as I painfully managed the stairs. I was so grateful and heartened that she bothered to help me. Not many people make the effort. 

At the halfway point wherein the flyscreen door swings out and one has to push it aside, I let go of her hand. I was telling her of the reason we were selling the fiver. At last I made it inside and I turned round to thank her, mid-sentence. She wasn't even there but I could see her almost at her caravan.

My feelings did a downward spiral as I realised I had been talking to myself and I felt again the loneliness of the chronically ill and disabled. From a fleeting feeling of respect and validation, I felt disrespected and my problems considered minor or of no consequence. The chronically ill or disabled will understand what I am speaking about.

We don't ask for constant validation and never ending compassion. We know that the "normals" who don't experience the pain and inconvenience of disease and disability, can't empathise, just sympathise. But what we do ask is that we be heard, respected and validated.  Nothing compounds our physical pain as much as being ignored, made fun of or marginalised. This is important to us..

The "normals" can even help prevent a trip to the Pit of Despair by showing a bit of interest and compassion to us, so please don't be like our neighbour in the caravan park who didn't want to know. 

I am not minimising the power of prayer, and we should pray and talk to the LORD, but we need another listening ear sometimes, but often people don't want to hear us and for all the good it does, we might just as well tell it to our cat. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

A new chapter

Chris and I have always wanted to travel around Australia. Now in our late sixties, our children are all grown, our grandchildren also are older and we now have no aged parents to care for. The stage is set. It is our time.

As you may recall, my mother lost her battle with dementia last December and in the fullness of time, her money from her house sale cleared. She graciously left me enough money to buy our rig and truck and now the time has come to leave for sunny shores. Or in our case, coastline.

So, we have almost finished closing up our rented house. We have either sold or given away most of our stuff and we are almost ready.

I am a little anxious but looking forward to this nomadic lifestyle. I have never done this before. Chris tells me that our life won't change too dramatically. I will still be writing. I will miss going to church, but will take steps to have church at home.

I know God is in this with us, and He remains our Saviour and Friend. We will be carrying Him in our hearts and minds to whomever He places in our path. 

Whatever changes there are, I am still looking forward to this new chapter in our lives. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: forthe Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9