I just have to pursue it.
Ordinary and good!
The Queen of List Making
More than a place to sleep
Bushed but satisfied.
Today we have no physio or doctor appointments so we can stay home. I am ploughing through 3 loads of washing and I have to clean my kitchen.
I am cooking a pork stew in the slow cooker. Chris is feeling unwell and is sleeping a lot. I would be if I could with my fibromyalgia flaring, but I am waiting for the cleaner to come.
I have finally found a cleaner who can fit both DD Dianne and my homes in for a clean once a fortnight. They are doing hers at 2pm and ours at 4pm today.
Although my Roomba is doing a great job, it needs someone to get into the corners it misses so I will ask the cleaner to do that. Basically it's my floors and bathrooms that need cleaning today with the beds changed starting next Wednesday week.
We only have Chris's "man cave" to sort out now- the rest is done and the place looks nice. We are totally bushed, but it a satisfying feeling to look around and see it all come together.
Out of my comfort zone.
Pain is a disability
Anyone who suffers from chronic pain knows that it precludes us from a lot of enjoyment of life. Pain makes the vicissitudes of life that much harder to bear.
Everything is exaggerated both physically and mentally, and the only thing I can do is accept that this is not my usual self, for pain changes people.
Pain disables us in many ways. from physical activity. from family life. from sex. from sleep. from patience. from social life. from functioning normally. from life generally.
The effects of pain cause us to withdraw from people and become reclusive. It makes us feel isolated and unable to really feel understood or validated. We learn to be distrustful of others.
Because chronic pain, in my case fibromyalgia, causes us so much mental as well as physical angst, we decide to retreat to our home often preferring it even if we had enough spoons to leave.
Seeing as pain is such a disabling affliction, it makes no sense to me that we are often regarded by doctors with suspicion when we request heavy duty pain relief such as opiates.
Most of us cannot get enough medication to adequately help us with our pain. We often then succumb to depression and live as recluses due to agoraphobia.
We who suffer from chronic pain know that it is a disability. Invisible and destructive. We live in the knowledge that pain is disabling.
We just wish doctors were as aware of the ongoing relentless disability called Pain.
Taken for granted
"So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom" Psalm 90:12
Or should I say, how little!
"It is what it is!"
It's not a contest
No longer taken for granted
"So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom" Psalm 90:12
Ordinary but good
And a good sleep
The only nice thing about it
When you got no spoons everyone has to help!
No, I knew from 20 years experience that my respite from pain would be short-lived and it was. But because of planning for it, it hasn't seen me in a total mess, overwhelmed with meals and mess.
I had my handmaiden, aka dishwasher and I kept up with the dishes. I did a load of washing a day and I dried it in the dryer. But my greatest life saver was my frozen dinners I have in the freezer. They saved the day.
In all honesty, though I haven't kept the house running smoothly all by myself. I have had to enlist Chris to help me with stacking and unstacking the dishwasher and I asked him to put his own clean clothes away as soon as they came out of the dryer.
He has been really good actually- a blessing really. He also encourages me to take a nana nap, and feeling so fatigued and sore, I am so glad. We all need a hand when we are feeling so wretched and when you got no spoons everyone has to help!
Sometimes you just have to be separate
My eternal quest
I'm happy to be an empty-nester
Whilst I do miss the "good ol days" when my children were young, I am so glad that it's over now. I don't think I could cope with it. Having an empty nest does have some advantages: our routine doesn't have to be as inflexible as when we had young ones to look after.
Meals are pretty impromptu affairs. We may plan to have such and such for dinner, but then decide either we aren't hungry or we may eat something like rice bubbles for dinner. Also, the meal hours are according to how we feel. And if I don't feel up to cooking, we will have a frozen dinner. We couldn't do that with young ones.
Bedtime hours are also more flexible as we go to bed when we feel like it. If I can't sleep it's no big deal to get up and make us a cup of tea and go back a few hours later. Waking up late is no problem either, neither are nana naps anymore. I take them as required.
I don't think I would make a good mother these days: Xena often wakes me up to feed her and I feel quite annoyed. I suppose it would be different if it were a child.
There's also a good reason for menopause: I think if I had a baby now I would forget where I had put it. And now with fibromyalgia fog, I know I would!
So even though I miss some aspects of my young mothering days, I am totally content with the flexibility empty nesting has now in my latter years. Besides, I couldn't stand being asleep while the teens get ready to go out. And forget about waiting up all night for them to get home safely.
No, sometimes I am mighty happy to be an empty-nester!
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: Ecclesiastes 3:1
Until the indignation be overpast
- Let us make sure we keep our homes clean and aired.
- Let us try to stay to a routine that gives us time to teach our children.
- Let us remember that our children will be picking up and hearing fearful information, so let us be particularly loving with them.
- Let us make meals that not only fill our family's stomach, but nourish them. Give them something to look forward to at meal times.
- Let us be loving with our husband- chances are he has worries about employment and like you, is concerned about how to stretch the finances and keep the roof over your head and food on the table.
- Let us try to avoid speaking constantly about the ills of this current state of the world in front of the children. They may be young, but they will take in a lot of fear. If the parents are afraid, then for them, it is the end of the world.
- Let us limit watching the news as this is bound to effect everyone. Limit news to finding out directly what you need to know and turn it off.
- Let us watch uplifting videos, especially with our children and let's play with them. Make a cubby house and let your children be the Mum and you the child. Use your imagination and delight them.
- Let us put our little ones into the bath and sit alongside them, singing songs and telling stories and blowing bubbles with them.
- Let us have a sense of calm and peace in our home, for everyone to enjoy.
- Let us be particularly attentive and available to our spouse and fan the flames of romance. It works wonders for a marriage.
- Let us sit at table and teach the little ones etiquette, and have the table set nicely to make it a time of pleasure and unity.
- Let us continue with a daily nightly bedtime routine for the children and keep regular sleeping hours.
- Let us pray with our children at night as they go to bed, allowing them to know that God loves them, watches out for them and calls all the stars by name. Invite discussion of any worries so that they can be reassured and sleep better.
- Let us keep up with our own appearance and hygiene, for that will make us feel more like we can cope.
- Let us use the fine crockery, tableware, cloth serviettes and silver utensils. Drag out the best linen and softest towels and celebrate home and family.
- Let us remember to pray for others, particularly for those for whom isolation means domestic violence. Have this link on hand for help if you or someone you know needs protection and advice.
- Let us remember to keep close to the LORD Who has gone to prepare a place for us, and is coming to take us Home with Him soon.