
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
And the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in the streets thereof. Zechariah 8:5

Just recently I have been going through some difficult and emotional times! Not only has my fibromyalgia flared, causing me pain and fatigue through not sleeping soundly and my heart has been paining me, but I have had to contend with hot flushes and the roller coaster of feminine hormones both rising and waning- mostly waning I suspect!I know I am not the only woman on earth to go through this stage of life- but I can only write about how it has effected me- anything else is hearsay and observation! The curious thing is that I thought I left Menopause City behind, but as I walk through the Path of Life, I have been confronted with another sign post that tells me I am still in the boundaries of the City.Today, for example, Chris and I were having a coffee and cinnamon bun at our shopping Centre…apart from tiredness, I was feeling OK emotionally. A darling little baby girl was in her stroller eating some of her mother’s cinnamon roll and she was making quite a mess of herself. I was captivated by her- she was so cute! As I turned smiling to mention her to Chris, a very pregnant lady walked past me and my mood suddenly spiralled downwards to regret.With intense sadness, the knowledge that pregnancy and motherhood were no longer things which I would enjoy personally, hit me like a blow across the mouth. The realisation that I was not only getting old- but WAS old, took me by surprise and I tried to counteract it’s horrible gripping effect on me by mentioning the delightful baby girl drooling cinnamon icing, to Chris, who was happily sipping his cappacino.To my utter horror, my eyes started to fill up and I could not control the feelings of despair and sadness that threatened to overtake me! As I grabbed a serviette to dab my eyes, and to both of our embarrassment, I started crying into my cinnamon bun! Chris was taken unawares as well and just rubbed my hand.I ran to the ladies restrooms, where I cried for the years of childbearing and mothering that flew by too, too fast!…I cried for the hunger to feel a baby kicking inside me, and to smell that irresistable smell of a new-born baby and to feel the velvet skin of a new blessing against me as I breastfed!Blowing my nose, I battled the jealousy I felt seeing women carrying babies in their wombs and in their baby slings. I battled the feelings of fear of old age and disappearing waist line and loss of my youthful vigour and health. I panicked momentarily as I realised that I was probably 2 thirds through my life already- and I still felt at times like a girl!I flushed the toilet as I waited until the tears abated, hoping to drown them out from the ears of other people. It was a frightening and embarrassing moment! And a puzzling one too! For I “know” I am too old to be a mother..too many health issues too..too fatigued to take on a child 24/7 for the rest of my life…too selfish in a lot of ways now…YET the desires and maternal feelings haven’t died!And now that I have had a cry, thought through the whole thing and had time with the LORD, I feel silly. I suppose I shouldn’t really feel silly…the maternal hormones are a God-given part of being feminine and so too is this season of my life. I just find that sometimes the maternal hormones go on hyperdrive as the childbearing ones wane.How grateful I am that God has given me an understanding husband…one who says he understands even when I don’t. One who passes me a cinnamon bun and a tissue without too many questions….and rubs my hand…it all helps.....
| Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24 |
Our fiver got to South Australia to its new owner and they rang us to tell us how pleased they were with it. So that's good.
We are taking our GMC Sierra to the mechanic for a good overhaul Monday and then we will decide what we will do with it. Over here they are seen as a luxury ute and we think a young buck would love it. That's what we are hoping.
My twin and son and granddaughter continue to recover from Covid but are still very much under the weather with it.
I am convinced that our prayers have helped keep my twin. She's so many serious health issues such as lupus and I was afraid for her.
I have done a load of washing, cleaned my kitchen and am about to make some lunch. I have a flare of fibromyalgia again and my spoons are nearly all gone. I will be taking a nana nap soon.
With an imminent move, I am not looking forward to the energy output, however I am looking forward to being nearer family.
I will miss the birds and our feral cat who is gradually becoming less timid as we feed him. We have named him Teddy Bear as his face is surrounded by bushy fur and he is gingery brown and looks like a teddy.
But I know in life that one rarely gets everything one wants and so we have weighed up staying or moving. We have decided that we want to be closer to family, particularly our daughter who has had leukaemia.
With a bird bath/feeder and garden swing to take with us, we will continue to feed the birds as we watch from the swing in the garden.
It's true what they say: nothing is sure except death and taxes. Life is full of change. We just have to embrace it.
We’ve been in semi-isolation because of covid19 for 4 weeks today. It is very similar to how we live our lives as older, semi-retired people. So, we’re not doing too badly here. I do miss my children coming ’round and I miss all the sweet little grandchildren being here.
It is a little harder for my husband who is newly without a job from being laid off. I say newly, but he’s been without work for 6 moths now. Still, it’s new for him, he has worked all our married lives and longer. So, I think it is a little harder for him to adjust. I, on the other hand have been ‘at home’ for over 35 years.
Since I am an old hand at being at home, I have a work flow, a way of doing things and getting things done, resting, participating in hobbies, chatting with friends online and then doing more work, that he is just now developing for himself. But in all, we’re staying busy.
This is the key to being content during this strange time in our world: staying busy. You remember of course that old saying that idle hands are the devil’s workshop? I also believe that an idle mind is his workshop.
But by staying busy I don’t necessarily mean work, work, work til you drop! What I mean is, your mind needs to be occupied with noble thoughts and good things instead of worry and sin.
It is possible to go sit under the tree outside and rest and still be busy with positive and good things.
Don’t dwell on tomorrow.
Don’t worry about yesterday.
Don’t stress that you can’t do more today.
Just do what you have in front of you to do.
It might be dishes, preparing a meal. It may be reading a book or drawing a picture.
Write that letter.
So, stay busy friends. Find some project that you would like to have done at your house or in your self and work on it. Whether it is a puzzle that has sat on the shelf for too long or cleaning out a room, starting a new Bible study or weeding a flower bed, now is the time to do it.
This will all end and you’ll be able to do more, go places and enjoy friends again. In the mean time, do what you can and do it well.