Unpretentious and simple

  

As you know, I have been having problems with my heart and fibromyalgia. My blood pressure is barely controlled and I am constantly tired.

We have decided to cancel Christmas this year. I haven't even put up a wreath on the front door, let alone, a Christmas tree.

We are staying home and nobody is coming. Contrary to how I would feel in years past, this year's plan gives me peace.

We plan to play games online with my sister and son. There's nothing like a game of online Scrabble with familiar people who are well matched in scores.

None of us is able to attend church these days but that doesn't stop us from worshiping God and remembering Jesus on the day we choose to celebrate as His birthday.

Next week I will be ordering my Christmas food and I will be buying a ham and organic salad vegetables for Chris's and my lunch. I will also be buying some grape juice and matzo crackers, as we plan to take Communion online with my sister and son like we did last Easter.

It is not an ideal Christmas, but with all of us feeling unwell, it is making the best of a bad situation.

We all feel that as long as we remember that God sent His Son Jesus to bear the sins of the world and be our Saviour, then that is what Christmas really is.

Besides, the first Christmas was extremely unpretentious and simple. It's OK if ours is too...

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks

" So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom" Psalm 90:12

Micah says it all!

Recently during one of my quiet times, I read one of my favourite verses from Micah 6:8 "He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?"

Being a  Christian isn't  really that difficult. Once one has  surrendered his or her life to Christ, the Holy Spirit guides us into that which pleases God. 

Our walk with Him is continuous and should lead us to becoming better people than we were yesterday, emulating the Master, Jesus Christ.

As a sufferer of many ailments which cause chronic pain and fatigue, fibromyalgia being the worst culprit, I used to worry about not being able to serve God as well as I did in my younger Christian walk before illnessdep. 

Depression would hang around my shoulders like a cloak because I felt unable to do much for Jesus, in fact unable to do much at all for even my family.

Then I had an epiphany! I realised that God can be served mostly by having a loving heart. Besides, His love for us is not dependant on what we do, but on what He has done for us! 

God only requires that I love Him with my whole heart, mind and soul, that I love justice and mercy and that I walk humbly with Him. It's nothing to do with limitations brought on by illness or disability or our lack of energy or spoons to do things. Grace is wonderful and my favourite verse in Micah says it all!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?" Micah 6:8

Dead tired

A woman who suffers from a chronic illness or disability often finds herself at the end of "normals'" ideas of being tired. We are often looked at with contempt for being so tired that we can't perform our daily duties properly. Or that we have to go to bed early, rise late, or cancel social engagements at the last minute. We are not lazy. 

Before Corona, we were regarded with suspicion when we couldn't make it to church regularly and people harshly judged our spiritual health, deeming us backslidden.  Emotional and spiritual hurt exacerbates our ill state. We feel worse and they lack compassion.

Often we have to cancel doctors' appointments because we are too sick to get there. We find we can't drive and even if we could, we haven't got the strength to even get washed and dressed. It is not unheard of that some of us have crumpled in the shower, unable to get out and totally winded...

Our "tired" goes far beyond a sleepiness or drowsy feeling. We are so fatigued that breathing is too much effort and not for the first time we are grateful it's automatic.

Furthermore, our "tired" is not helped by a nanna nap or even 9 hours of sleep.  We fight our illness and pain even in our dreams and wake up unrefreshed and have to face another day when we haven't recuperated from the day before. We simply have run out of spoons.

"Tired" is overused and doesn't come close to the bone sucking quagmire of desperate fatigue we chronically ill people find ourselves sinking into constantly.  To have "normals" flippantly say, "Me too!" when we tell them we are tired invalidates us and makes us long for their brand of tiredness that can be restored through a good sleep.

We cannot even enjoy a shower or bath to help us sleep as the effort it takes to do this not only drains us of whatever energy we can find, but does not always bring a restorative sleep. Just muscle pain.

Such is my own pain on going to bed that I find I cannot place my arms anywhere comfortable. My fibromyalgia and polymyalgia rheumatica make it impossible to raise my arms upwards and extending them hurts my muscles and tendons. So I go to sleep with my arms folded on my chest.

I indeed look like a cadaver which has been laid out and testifies somewhat to the feeling of being dead in my tracks.  Because that's the type of exhaustion we face every day: we truly feel dead tired.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Cast me not off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength faileth. Psalm 71:9

Making the most of my spoons

So for the last few days I have been enjoying a respite from fibromyalgia pain. The weather has been lovely and sunny and the warmth has permeated my being and soothed a lot of muscle pain.

I have been decluttering our home and making extra meals to freeze for later on. It has been a novelty and a joy to have spoons to do it.

Aware that it can bring on a flare if I do too much, I have been pacing myself. I do 15 minutes sessions of decluttering with a rest in between. With cooking, I do about half an hour of food prep then take a rest as well.

I am enjoying my new dishwasher too. It certainly makes keeping up with the dishes and keeping my kitchen tidier easier. And that I find, encourages me to cook.

I really don't know how long this respite will last, but I'm grateful each day that I have absence from pain and fatigue.

Until you have a respite, you don't realise how challenging your life is. So for the moment, however brief it may be, I will be making the most of my spoons.

 

The Queen of List Making

So I did it again! Instead of cleaning up after dinner, I went to bed with dishes in the sink. I hate when I do that!

I mean, with fibromyalgia robbing me of a good restful sleep, the mornings are hard enough to face. Having a dirty kitchen to wake up to is the pits!

Most would think that it's just laziness, but by the time I have cooked dinner my spoons are almost gone. Yes gone! I am so done in by the end of the day that even lifting my arms up to put my nightie over them creates pain.

Oh, yes, I make lists and read motivational blogs and You tubes, but to no avail. I am the Queen of List Making. Yet my limited spoons dictate that I do very little and I am left with ashes in my mouth.

I know I said before that I have been keeping busy and that's true, but I now have a rebound fibro flare and coupled with our autumn cold snap with rain, I am in a lot of pain.

You would think that I would have worked out this fibromyalgia lurk after twenty years. And for the most part although I hate it, I have learned to exist with fibro without feeling false guilt that leads to depression.

Most days I accept my disability, but deep inside is a perfectionist screaming to get out! On days like this, I try to nest and I overextend my limits. Hello, Fibro Flare!

I am grateful to my husband Chris. He is an mild mannered man who is happy with how I do manage to keep our nest. He, and most people who come to visit- well in better days obviously- are happy with the state of our home.

It must be that I am my own worst enemy: trying to do the work of a much younger healthier woman: everything in its place and a place for everything. But always straining, never achieving thanks to Fibromyalgia.  I need to accept what is and hang up my crown as the Queen of List Making.

 

Keeping the homefires burning

 

Lately I have had a really long and debilitating fibromyalgia flare. I think it was brought on by stressing about my son who had a large kidney stone removed and was suffering badly with his kidney stent.

With over 50 renal stones and 5 surgeries to remove them, I literally felt his pain. He has been out of work due to his ordeal for 6 weeks and so it has been a worry to him and to me..

My fibromyalgia flare has effected my eyes some days. I have trouble focussing especially when reading and I have had double vision. That has been accompanied with the usual pain and the fatigue is out of this world.

I have found that just running our home to a basic plan has been more than enough for my body and after I do a few household chores, I feel so weak that I almost vomit. I just have to take a nana nap.

The life of a Sacrificial HomeKeeper is not an easy one. But we somehow push through those walls of fatigue and at least keep the homefires burning...

©  Glenys Robyn Hicks  

"I love you LORD my strength!" Psalm 18:1

No spoons required

So yesterday was a really good day. In spite of my fibromyalgia flaring and angina. But it's because of those things that today has been so good.

My diary showed a doctors' appointment to attend, then the chemist for scripts and then the inevitable grocery shop for the week. A full day for a chronically ill person.

I thought it through and decided to ring the clinic and change a face to face consult with a phone one. Then I rang the chemist to advise them that the script I owed them for some blood pressure tablets would be coming in the afternoon. Then I arranged the medicines to be delivered to me.

Then grabbing a cup of tea, I did my online shop and arranged delivery of it for tomorrow. And I played Candy Crush until the doctor rang me.

He arranged for the escripts to be sent directly to our chemist. I made another cup of tea as the doorbell rang- the girl with our medicines delivered them very promptly.

Cooking a simple meal, I found I had energy to work on my crochet project until bedtime. I had plenty of energy as all the errands had been done with no spoons required.

More than a place to sleep

Recently someone asked why do we make our bed? I gave it some thought as I have recently been making my own bed daily, in spite of regularly going back into it for a nana nap. Here's a few thoughts on why I use my precious spoons to make my bed.

Physically its more comfortable to sleep in. 

Psychologically its more inviting.

It makes the room visually more esthetically pleasing.

The bed's the centrepiece of the room like in a painting. 

It gives the illusion of order and calm.

It uplifts my spirits when I come into my bedroom.

With fibromyalgia, angina and back problems, I make mine but often get back in it. So I remake it.

When I make it, I don't get on my knees as they are broken and I do not do hospital bed mitred corners. I pull up my top sheet, then turn back the minky blankets. With arthritic hands, the only tucks I do are at the bottom of the bed to secure the bedding...

But, being honest, I sometimes let it go when I have a fibro flare- being satified that the sheets and bedding is clean. But the majority of times, my beds are made. 

Beds are more comfortable made up or at least straightened and are more than a place to sleep.

It has a comforting ring to it.

In these last days before the Rapture of the Church, we are buffetted about with trials and tribulations and pestilences.

We are shaken and we are tired and the finishing line is just ahead. As the darkness of a sick world falls we would do well to remember that although we may feel that world is out of control, it is exactly as God told us it would be in these final days.

These trying days, the Body of Christ must pray for each other and encourage each other to run their race well. We know that the Age of Grace will soon be over, and Christ will translate the Church- us believers into His Kingdom. Therefore, we must tell the lost about Him and do so until that time comes.

This translation of the Church into God's Presence is called the Rapture and according to the Word, we are now observing many of the prophecies we were told to look for, coming to pass daily. This means the Rapture is soon.

Not being able to go to church anymore due to illness through fibromyalgia, mobility issues and angina mainly, I find great comfort in the fellowship of believers through the internet. It's terribly important that we do not forsake the gathering together in corporate worship as support for each other is critical to us running our race well. But like myself, if you can't get to church, try to build a network of Christian friends who will pray for you and support you  It's difficult, it's tough and it's scary!

At the rapture I believe we'll all stand before God still holding each other up and lifting the weary hands that had hung down.  This special relationship is called KOINONIA. :1. the Christian fellowship or body of believers 2. intimate spiritual communion& sharing in a common religious commitment& spiritual community

Let us spur each other on to love and good works and let us pray for each other in Koinonia. We need to be there for each other and watch each other's backs. That's what family do. We are all sons and daughters of the Most High and we share the same Father. So let us truly enjoy Koinonia in these testing times. 

Koinonia: it has a comforting ring to it. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works  Hebrews 10: 24

It's all I can do this year!

So I did a thing that stripped me of what little spoons I had. I took a shower and went to click and collect a few Christmas gifts I ordered on line.

I came home and cooked dinner and had a bad asthma attack. I couldn't breathe properly. Chris tidied up the kitchen for me and I sat down for a while until I felt better.

The Mother of all Fibro Flares has paid me a visit. I ache everywhere and feel too exhausted even to talk. It is nearly 11am here and I am ready to go to bed. I will have a nana nap.

You just have to listen to your body in times like this. Hopefully I will wake up with some spoons Christmas Day.

As we now have a large enough home for guests, we will be hosting Christmas this year. I am having a simple traditional meal and that's all...

I am too pooped to worry a great deal about Christmas this year. We have bought a few things online and that will have to do. Sometimes you just have to rest your tired twinkle! 

Apart from cancelling Christmas, it's all I can do this year!. 

It gets tiresome!

Over the last few days, I have had a cancer scare with someone dear to me, and my fibromyalgia has flared and with the pain comes that most embarrassing symptom of all: fibro fog.

I was talking on the phone to my sister, and was telling her something that had happened, but I never got to finish what I was saying. I got distracted mid-sentence and never finished the tale.

Unsure of her knowing of whom I was speaking, I digressed in a discussion on who he was, and when I tried to remember the point of discussion- I simply forgot.

Being that my sister also suffers from fibromyalgia, she understood-otherwise it would have been totally embarrassing. But there have been times in the past when I simply can't think of a word and flounder.

Like the time I was at the doctor's and was telling him something important. I simply forgot a word and there was a pregnant pause as I floundered to find it- embarrassment made it more difficult to find. He just looked over his glasses at me until I ventured to say that my fibro was flaring and this isn't usual for me. I am usually verbose.

Many times during a fibro flare, I can be reading something and it just doesn't sink in. I reread it and reread it before it is clear what I have just read. Or I can be paying the bills and have to check upteen times before I pay it to make sure I have the correct amount and I must check again to whom I am paying said correct amount. 

This coupled with the physical pain and fatigue make for a very challenging life during a fibro flare. It has the propensity to sap you of your self confidence. It can make you doubt your sanity. It can scare you to death as you worry about your competence to even run your own life at times.

I would not wish this on anyone: the pain. the fatigue. the confusion. the sapping of confidence. the insomnia. the judgments.

Many times I cannot attend church or read my Bible and I sense that there are some who think I am backsliding. Far from it. I am simply too exhausted.

All these things are a Fibromite's lot and no one seems to understand if we give in to a rare moment of snappiness or pique. It's just that the whole fibro thing with pain 24/7 gets one over it very quicky and it gets very tiresome! 

Today's to do list:

• Washing
• Clean my kitchen
• Cook chicken risotto for dinner

 

Silly season's begun already!

 

This year because we finally have a larger home, I am hosting Christmas Day lunch. As always, I need to plan and pace myself because of my chronic fatigue, so I am looking into buying my foods and gifts early.

I know I am going to have a fibromyalgia flare by Boxing Day, but it will be worth it to have some good memories. Sometimes you just have to push yourself or you never do anything. I am looking forward to it! But to minimise any major flare after Christmas and leading up to it, I am planning already!

Last weekend our 10 year old granddaughter Taylah came and she loves Christmas and decorating, so we gave her the tree and decorations and told her if she wants, she can decorate it. She wanted to!

So except for Grandpa Chris holding her to place the star, she did it all by herself. We think she did a sterling job!

To be honest, if we weren't hosting lunch this year, we probably wouldn't be bothered with the tree but with family coming, it seemed worth the effort. So the tree is up albeit early. With both of us feeling under the weather, and with a little willing helper, it is cheerful and jolly. And good timing!

Taylah placed the solar lights so that the tree turns on at dusk and turns off at dawn. So there's no upkeep and even though the tree is minimalist by most standards, it still heralds in the festive season.

All we have left to do for decorating is putting the wreath on the front door, but it seems a little too soon to go public yet and let everyone know that at Hicks' House, the silly season's begun already!

I am beyond tired!

 

After a good day yesterday, I ended up flat on my back. Actually that is in bed. My doctor said my BP was too high at 187/87 and he put me on more meds. I planned to do some organising of my wardrobe but it was not to be.

Half an hour after taking my BP medication, I found I couldn't keep my eyes open, so I went to bed. Woke up a couple of hours later just in time to cook dinner. Dinner wasn't very exciting- a steak sandwich.

Tonight I had to take my usual dose of BP tablets and I am just about to go to bed. It's so frustrating! But with chronic illness, it is what it is!

I have to go back to him in two weeks. He is going to discuss giving me Endep for my fibromyalgia pain.

Unable to sit for long, I have culled a lot of FB groups and deleted my Twitter account. I want to reserve whatever spoons I have to look after Chris and our home. I need to spend more time with him and not on the computer.

This dance with chronic illness has it lead all the way. It steps on your toes and cramps your style. It holds you captive. I just want a break from it. I am beyond tired! 

Epstein Barr And Fibromyalgia: The Link

Chris and I have both had glandular fever which lasted for months. He is being checked for fibromyalgia as he has every indication that he has, even though it is mainly a female disease, it can affect men. Here is an article written by a doctor about that link....

Epstein Barr, the virus responsible for glandular fever or mononucleosis, has been linked to the development of fibromyalgia – a chronic, painful condition of the muscles and connective tissue.

Fibromyalgia sufferers are mainly female and report chronic widespread pain and a heightened and painful response to gentle touch. One of the most important criteria to determine whether or not you may have this disease is significant pain in very specific areas of your body, including:

* Inside of your elbows
* Your collar bones
* Inside of your knees
* Your hips

Usually these locations are symmetrical, so you’ll have pain equally present on both sides of your body. Experiencing significant pain when someone presses on those areas, on both sides, is indicative of this condition.

Other symptoms can include fatigue, sleep disturbance, anxiety, bowel and bladder problems, difficulty swallowing and joint stiffness.

Conventional medicine offers no cure for fibromyalgia, although there are treatments like medication, exercise and behavioral interventions that can reduce symptoms.

The natural approach to treating fibromyalgia is to re-balance the immune system which may have been damaged by the effects of the Epstein Barr virus. It is also vital to relieve symptoms through nutritional intervention, graded exercise, stress management and re-establishing good sleep patterns. Let’s have a look at some of these natural treatments for fibromyalgia:

The mineral magnesium is a natural muscle relaxant that is showing promising effects on the pain of this condition. It should be taken as a powder or capsule along with magnesium-rich foods like fish, avocado, raw nuts and seeds, soybeans, green leafy vegetables, brown rice, apples, apricots and grapefruit.

Malic acid is also often low in sufferers and should be supplemented. Malic acid is found naturally in fruits like apple. It often gives unripe fruit a tart or sour taste.

To help relieve the fatigue seen in fibro and Epstein Barr, vitamin C and the B complex are recommended. Anti-inflammatory foods like fish oil, zinc, ginger, turmeric, pineapple and paw paw can also help.

Restoration of normal sleep patterns is an essential part of the recovery process. Herbs like valerian, skull cap, hops and chamomile are excellent. Epsom salt baths which are naturally high in magnesium should also be taken nightly before bedtime. These baths reduce muscle pain and tension and help ensure a good night’s sleep. Gentle exercise during the day – either a walk, swim or stretching exercises can also help you sleep better at night.

Diet wise, I recommend my Epstein Barr, CFS and fibromyalgia patients follow a low carb, high protein diet based around good quality protein foods and plenty of fresh leafy greens and other vegetables. Sugar, grains and the nightshade family of foods like tomatoes, eggplant, chilli, potatoes and capsicum, should be eliminated as they can trigger pain and soreness in the fibromyalgia patient. Remember too to drink plenty of pure water – at least 2-3 litres a day.

I have to add here that I could never drink 2-3 litres of water a day and current medical advice is that we only need about 6 glasses. Too much water intake can cause more problems and we have enough to deal with already.

Here a little.

 

So today I woke with no spoons and I felt like I had been hit by a bus. But I really want to start this journey of reclaiming my house, so I bit the bullet and took my first step.

As the kitchen is always the first area that calls for attention, I decided to start there. I had cleaned up last night and only had a few dishes to take out of the dishwasher.All I had to clean up was the breakfast and morning tea dishes.

Fibromyalgia flares see that I simply can't do mornings, and as you can see, I couldn't raise a gallop until nearly lunchtime. All I had managed to do was pull up our beds, put a load of washing in and run my irobot, Sadie.

So by the time I had done the kitchen, it was time for a nana nap as my angina was playing up and I was finding just breathing enough.

So I had a nana nap which lasted a few hours, and I came out again but I still had no spoons to speak of.

My plan was to wipe down the kitchen benches or counter tops and start preparing dinner, but I had to leave it for the moment. Chris made me a cup of tea, we discussed what we would eat tonight and I sat down to talk to you.

I realise most people would say that I haven't accomplished a lot, but believe me, when you wake with no spoons at all, it is a lot. I know the benches need wiping down, but basically the kitchen's clean and I can start on cooking dinner as soon as I recoup.

I don't allow myself to suffer from "false guilt" anymore and I don't allow myself to be dictated to by my OCD perfectionist healthy woman of the past. She doesn't exist anymore. 

Everything we do is kudos to us Sacrificial Home Keepers. We push ourselves to achieve little by the standards of "normals", but to us, we have run a marathon.

So in a minute after I post this post, I will be cooking sweet and sour pork and rice. And then I will pray for enough spoons to see me sort the kitchen out- I hate getting up to a dirty kitchen and if I can do it before bed, it will be a gift from my previous self to my future self.

Tonight is bin night, so I will help Chris gather the rubbish and put the bins out. Come to think of it, they go out more often than we do these days! But it is what it is! With no spoons for both of us, staying home is a pleasure.

Anyway, I have at least achieved something today- working. pacing. resting. planning. It all adds up with here a little, there a little in the daily life of this Australian Sacrificial Home Keeper.

On this new quest

So I am just coming back to life after our move. My fibromyalgia is still there of course and so is my tiredness. I am trying to live with constant angina, but I have a new drive to get my house organised and decluttered.

All our boxes are unpacked and stuff is in its place, but there's a need to sort through that stuff and cull it.

Added to that is the desire to keep our new home nice. So I have my hands full, but no spoons.

I am trying to take control of my home- or rather, keep it controlled, but it's going to be a spasmodic deal. It all depends on spoons.

Like I did at the previous house, I have enlisted the help of a cleaner once a fortnight. She changes our beds, cleans the bathrooms and toilets and vacuums and mops the floors.

It sounds like that would be enough, but it still needs cleaning between visits. Thank goodness for my irobot Roomba.  It does a great job in between and I run it twice a day. We've called it Sadie!

To be honest, even without those jobs that the cleaner does, it. is. more. than. enough!

I am going to post pictures of my journey to claim back my house. Mainly for my own records, but you can join me here if you like.

I am going to try my best on this new quest.

 

Having patience with yourself

  

Lately, I have realised that one of the reasons for my high blood pressure is probably in the way I stress about not being able to do what I want due to fibromyalgia.

Although I know that I am not to blame for being ill, I sometimes find myself berating myself and feeling cross that I am a lame duck. It really gets to me at times.

Often I succumb to false guilt, the guilt that comes from matters that are not in my control, and it is easy to go to the Pit of Despair. You do not want to go there.

On rare occasions, I burst into tears and it is then that Chris usually comes to my rescue, pointing out that it's not my fault, that whatever needs to be done can wait or he promises that he will do it...

It made me think that sometimes I am my own worst enemy. By self-condemnation, I am making a sad situation worse for myself.

When I realised that it was my thinking that makes me get so down sometimes, I smiled at the irony: usually I am trying to validate my tiredness and pain to "normals"- those who do not live with chronic pain and no spoons. Now the "normals" are validating me.

So today, after cleaning my kitchen and making lunch, I am going to "the beach" again. I am going to relax and only get up again when it is time to cook tea.

I am going to start to speak to myself as I would speak to someone else who was ill and blaming themselves: lovingly and kindly. Which just doesn't come naturally to me. I have patience with everyone except myself.

Between my nana naps!

 

Today is Saturday morning here. I have had a busy week with doctors appointments and physio for my daughter who is doing really well. 

My son had a possible cancer in his bowels, but the first test was a false alarm and to be honest, it made me anxious. I didn't realise how anxious until he was cleared. 

This son was born with a forceps injury to his eye- it looks normal but he has very little sight in it. He has developed a pterygium or sun damage in his good eye and has surgery next Friday to remove the growth because it is growing across his eye and may interfere with his vision. I will be glad when it's done and his eye has recovered. 

All this has given me the Mother of all Flares. My fibromyalgia is killing me at the moment and I am taking frequent naps to cope with it. I have a few housework chores to do and some folding up of clean washing. I will do it- in between my nana naps! 

I think I could sleep on the freeway.

We visited the doctor today.  I have extremely high blood pressure which the doctor feels is due to my fibromyalgia pain.  It has flared since the move and I have gone grey overnight.

He is increasing my antidepressants as I am stressed to the max. He believes they may help in my fibro pain. He has not offered anything for pain as yet. 

I feel totally exhausted and I need to help Dianne for the next month as she can't drive.  My spoons are gone before I surface each day.

My exhaustion is such that my legs feel like they can't hold me up. Yet like helping my daughter and looking after my sick husband, there are things that just have to be done.

My grandson walked to our place from school today and found no clean cups for a drink. I told him he will have to wash one out for himself as I have been so unwell that I haven't been able to stack the dishwasher.  

He selected a picnic cup instead of washing one and then asked to be driven home. I felt guilty that my kitchen is a mess but Chris has fluid build up in his lungs due to living with heart failure and hasn't been able to help.

As a fellow counter of spoons, he has to save them for driving Dianne to doctors' appointments and physio, so I do not ask that he helps with the housework.

My extra antidepressants are kicking in and I am feeling tired as we speak. I must straighten my bed first as it is very uncomfortable as it is. I need a good night's sleep.

It is true that you sleep better in a tidy bed. The way I feel right now, I think I could sleep on the freeway. 

I am too tired to shout!

Today is Monday morning. I have to do some washing and restack the dishwasher. I have run Sadie the Roomba and am about to do bloods, meds and breakfast. 

Later on at 11 a man is coming to do some flatpacks of furniture for us. I am hopeless at this and Chris can't do it anymore. It's a coffee table and TV lowline unit. It's $40 an hour but we had to factor that in when we bought them. It is what it is! 

At 2.30 we have to pick Dianne up and take her to a doctor's appointment. Then I have to go to the chemist and get her meds made up. 

It's supposed to rain for the next 10 days and the rain has been consistently heavy and constant. I think we are going to need an ark soon.  It is making my fibromyalgia worse, and I am pushing myself to get Di to doctors and physio. 

I will neverthless be busy with doctors and physio for the rest of the week and possibly next two weeks or more. I am glad Di's knee has been done though. It's all over bar the shouting! With no spoons at all, I am too tired to shout!