Giving the gift of time well spent

As most of you who follow my blogs know, Chris and I not enjoying the best of health. We both are currently battling heart failure, diabetes and obesity brought on by the inactivity that comes with pain and age.

Gradually as the maladies make themselves more known and felt, we are aware that we probably won't make it to our 80th year.

Lately we have written a will and talked to our adult children of our final wishes. Unable to bear being apart, we have decided that we both want to be buried together, and to this end, we are currently getting information about prepaid funerals and plots of land at our local cemetery.

We have discussed Do not rescusitate orders and made our wishes known to our children. They were hesitant to talk about these matters, but we assured them that we need to sort it out, afterwhich we won't talk about it.

My stents in my heart are 15 years old and I am told I need new ones inserted, but I have refused  them as the previous 2 angiograms injured me. I simply don't want to have more surgery.  

Chris and I have made the choice that there won't be any more harmful surgeries. If I have a bad heart attack I do not want to be rescusitated.

I am ready for Jesus to either take me in the Rapture or call me Home. Either way is OK.

Chris is in really bad health with his own heart failure. I am aware of how little time we may have and I don't want to waste it.

So I am on the computer about an hour instead of all day. I have culled most groups etc but have not culled my friends.

Chris promised me he will update if I go Home. We just cant bear any more hospitals and tests etc- especially when they have done me harm in the past.

I am trusting the LORD instead of man and for the one who is left behind, we are giving the gift of time well spent.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints. Psalm 116:15

It has been humbling.

With the days so uncertain and now a new war, I have an underlying anxiety bordering on depression, I have spent a lot of time in prayer and personal Bible study. 

I have been watching lots of You tube sermons on eschatology or end times and the Rapture. But I have no peace. To be honest, it's doing my head in and destroying my peace.

Before Covid19, I was so peaceful and assured of God's providence and protection of His people, but with many believers also getting the virus, it has shaken my faith. 

Honestly, I felt better before I delved into all the end times predictions and when the Rapture would come.

So in having much time to sit and pray, I have come to realise that the reason for my disquiet is that I want to control my life and destiny. I want to know what will happen tomorrow. I want to know why.

And I want to feel in control. So in realising this, I have had to repent. I have had to study the promises of God and acknowledge that He alone is sovereign. 

I am His to call home or to allow to live. And in so doing, I have had to relinquish my need to control and to know, and I have had to revert to childlike faith.

So now each night I commit my life into God's Hands. And I can sleep. Each morning, I thank God for another day and I am grateful.

Faith is the key to peace. Lack of faith produces fear and is of the evil one. It will do your head in...

Placing my hand in God's Hand as a trusting child has calmed me. The depression  has lifted. And a new depth of my relationship with God as Father has deepened.  I am glad that I have had this crisis to shake my faith and then to strengthen it.

It hasn't been fun and it hasn't been easy.  But like so many times we are put in the crucible, we are better for it. 

To think I was so unsure of my trust in God's protection has worried me, but now that the test is over, I rejoice. It is freeing.

Like in all pruning and growth, I have blossomed in trust.... but it has been humbling. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

In quietness comes strength

With all that is going on in the world today, I find, like millions of others that I have a lot of time on my hands.

We have been in lockdown for six months now and I wish I could say in all honesty that I am not feeling the strain. I miss my family.

At first it wasn't so hard- staying at home was fun, but after a month my cooking and baking became old news. 

Grateful that I am for chat and Face time, not seeing my grown children and grandchildren in person became stale.

Last night we were informed that we will be in lockdown for another three weeks at least. I must confess I went in to grieving mode.

I had a good cry, and talked to the LORD and I had to repent of self pity. Goodness knows, I personally have not had someone close to me die of Covid 19.  Or taken their life because of unbearable losses.

If we have to be quarantined, then I can not think of a nicer place to be than my own home. I had to confess also that I have lost sight of the bigger picture and focused only on the immediate problems.

My spirit had become disturbed and my peace was gone. I had to lay this at Jesus's feet and then replace it with a renewed mind and heart.

So I resolved to stop dwelling on what I have lost and be thankful for what I have- which outweighs the negatives 100 fold.

I have returned with renewed appreciation for the scriptures I read every day on trust and hope and love. 

God has renewed and refreshed my thinking and I know it is through the Holy Spirit that my help has come.

With taking my thoughts into the captivity of Christ, my life has taken a turn for the better. My peace has returned.

If you too are feeling despondent and disturbed, take it to God Who knows our hearts anyway and leave it there with Him.

In exchange, He will lead you into green pastures and give you rest. In quietness comes strength.

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks

For thus says the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel: “ In returning and rest you shall be saved; In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.”  Isaiah 30:15

Worth remembering

Sometimes I wonder what it must be like to be God- in the sense of His feelings in being hated, disbelieved, rejected and blamed for all evil things, and eventually being crucified when all You did was love, forgive and heal, and ultimately, die for us.

Obviously, His thoughts are infinitely higher than man's and I cannot presume to know the Mind of God, but as a human, in my quiet times, I sometimes reflect on what a life of grief our Saviour had in the few years He walked this earth.

We know He laid His life down for us, but in that, I find that even in the greatest act of God, rejection was a bitter blow- and then it was followed by an even more bitter one by the rejection of God the Father. He couldn't bear to look at His Son Who had become sin for us.

I read in the book of Malachi, 3:16-18 that a book of remembrance was written for those who loved God and who meditated on His Name. That's you. That's me. And it was so precious to God that He had a book written before Him to remind Him that we love Him.

Listen to what the LORD has to say about us, and be glad that we are written in His Book and in the Book of Life:  "A book of rembrance was written before Him for those who fear the LORD and who meditate on His Name. "They shall be Mine," says the LORD of hosts, "On the day that I make them My jewels. And I will spare them as a man spares his own son who serves him." Then you shall again discern between the righteous and the wicked, between one who seves God and one who does not serve Him." Malachi 3:16-18

How wonderful that our love for Him delights Him and that is worth remembering.  

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

My bucket comes up empty

We are living through strange and difficult times and I am a bit depressed because I am going stir crazy at home. We were just seeing a relaxation of the corona restrictions, but there's been an increase in new cases in Victoria, so it's all been tightened again. 

I have had to help some family close to me who are depressed and it is depressing me too. I have been finding some time totally alone is helpful for me. No phone, no computer. I just walk down the back garden where there is a seat. I sit there and watch the clouds, listen to the birds and pray. 

The scriptures tell us that Jesus often took time away from the needs of the world to pray and recoup. He also encouraged His disciples to do the same. I see no reason why we shouldn't take some time out to recharge our batteries and commune with God and nature.

Does this mean that we are uncaring and selfish? you ask. No- Jesus cared deeply but knew that we need some time out to restore our equilibrium.  

If I don't take some time out, I won't be able to serve others and the LORD without losing my calm. Taking some time out is something I need to do or my bucket comes up empty...

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

And He said to them, “Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.” For there were many coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat. So they departed to a deserted place in the boat by themselves. Mark 6:31-44

Let your bed lamp shine

We recently talked about wanting to serve the LORD from where we are at: usually for us it's from our bed or recliner. 

But being faithful and serving God has nothing to do with our state of health. It's a state of heart.  The desire for godliness and holiness should still be there regardless of chronic illness.

I have found that the majority of sick Christians still want to serve God but feel that they have nothing to offer Him. They feel they cannot serve because of physical limitations.

This is not true. A faithful servant of God is one who loves God with her whole heart. She turns to Him for her daily survival in a physical world full of tribulation. And she longs to be used of her LORD.

The good news is: we can still be used of the LORD.  

With physical limitations comes more time on our hands, time that can be used to influence others. 

This influence can be from the confines of our bedroom, hospital room, wheel chair, walker, or doctors' waiting room. We can bring Jesus into the same places others occupy. 

When  we walk through the door even while leaning on a walking stick or crutches, we can still bring Jesus to others. Make no mistake, they will be watching.

Pray for opportunities to talk about Christ and the hope that is within you.  Be a blessing by being aglow with the Spirit and let others see that you indeed have Something that they want! 

If we can show that in spite of our outward appearance, we have Something worth having, people will be attracted to us regardless.  

Over the years, I have been in hospital- in traction for two weeks at a time, and I made an effort to pray for the nurses, cleaners, people who came with meals, physiotherapists and people who shared a room with me. 

Goodness knows, I had plenty of time to pray.  And though my prayers were for the most part silent, I believe that people responded to them without even knowing it.  They liked being around me. But it was the Holy Spirit that was the attractive part.  And He made me  smile so much that I was nicknamed "Smiley"

So,  you can sow seeds wherever you go- however you get there. And if you no longer leave your home for appointments or whatever, you can still hold people up in prayer from your home.

Bed is a wonderful place to pray and prayer is the best way you can serve God.  Prayer opens up doors for opportunity to grow, to trust, to care, to love and to find paths to witness for Christ. Service is totally possible. 

Nowhere in life is there a place where you cannot serve God by praying.  So start worshiping and praying Blanket Prayers  if you are bed bound, and read or listen to the Word.   You can always do something for Jesus.  

Let your bed lamp shine! 

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks

Do not neglect the spiritual gift that is in you. 1 Timothy 4:14a 

What a drenching!

There's nothing nicer than being in bed listening to the rain on a tin roof. Especially if you don't have to go out in it...

L

I took this picture from our back door just after I fed some bread to the birds that frequent our garden. I love the smell of the rain! We are getting some relief from the heat with a top temperature forecast for 21C or 69.8F. 

It was my plan to go to church this morning, but with all the storm activity yesterday my fibromyalgia's flaring and I honestly can't make it. Hopefully, next Sunday will be better.

Usually, I listen to the Bible on You Tube and worship and rest at home when I can't go. Which is often, unfortunately. 

I will be hanging up the clothes I took out to wear there this morning. Later on I will cook some curried sausages in the slow cooker, which is my favourite way of cooking when I am in a flare.

There are a few dishes in the sink soaking in hot soapy water as per Sylvia's Sunday List. I will attend to them later on after I have had a rest. 

It isn't ideal that I am seeking to go back to bed so early in the day, but such is the life of a chronically ill person. I no longer feel any false guilt over it like I did in the early days of finding out what my new normal would be.  I can only get through this flare by resting...

So list of to do's today:

1. Hang up clothes
2. Set slow cooker going with sausages for dinner
3. Rest

And last but not least, I will be rejoicing as more rain falls giving our parched land a drenching! 

First we have tea

We had a very fitful sleep last night due to the temperatures being so high yesterday. Our reverse cycle air conditioner just doesn't make it up to the front of the house and our bedroom is right at the front, faces east and catches the sun all day. It was like an oven in our room with the temp being 23C all night. Our fan only blew hot air around....

It is supposed to be 30C today with thunder storms later. We always have our Emergency phone app on to advise us on fire activity as we live in the country. Last year Chris's son, who lives near us, had to evacuate his family because of fires and this is something we are prepared for. 

In the front guest room we have our important documents, spare medicines and some clothing and our photos on USB  disk. They are easy to grab in case we get the evacuation call. With high fire danger today and lightning strikes a possibility, we have our fire plan in place. Yes, it's firmly in place,  along with our little white cat, Xena's cat cage. Just in case...

I am currently listening to the Bible on You Tube and it is great for times when I am in a fibromyalgia flare and can't take in what I am reading. This is my preferred method of quiet time on days like today when my fibro is bad and I am lacking sleep and spoons. 

So because of lack of spoons and much heat, we plan to stay home today. So far, I have showered, dressed and taken my medications. I have a few things planned for today:

1. I need to fold and put away three loads of washing.
2. I want to make a lamb stew in the slow cooker for dinner (so as not to heat up the kitchen)
3. I want to resume following FlyLady by jumping in wherever the zone is for today.

I usually use FlyLady and Sylvia Britton's Lists for chronically ill women depending on how I feel each day.  I use the List for the day, then I may follow FlyLady's zone for 15mins. Today I am doing 15 minutes of cleaning in Zone 1 in FlyLady.

If I get these three things done today, it will be good. I will just cross off those things I achieve. We will see. But first we have tea. Everything goes better with a cup of tea!