Grateful and blessed

I am blessed to have a nice home. So many today are homeless, so even if your home is small and you truly don't love it, it would behoove us to be grateful for it regardless.

Home is the cradle of civilisation. It is the foundation of training, knowledge, shaping our early years and moulding us into the adult we will become.

Home's an oasis of calm in a world that's not. It is meant to be a peacable place, a sure dwelling and a quiet resting place. Peace. Safety. Nurture. Comfort.

I just love the imagery of this verse above and I love even more the promise that God makes to us who labour in our home. For we are wise if we do labour to show love and mercy and grace to each other and to make our habitation one of a sanctuary and place of worship through example.

May we not lose sight of the importance of home in the nurturing of ourselves and family. It is worth the effort and the results are guaranteed in the Word of God, for God blesses the habitation of the just. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"The curse of the LORD [is] in the house of the wicked: but he blesseth the habitation of the just. " Proverbs 3:33

The joy of a clean home!

                                        

"To the contemporary mind, the idea that happiness depends on good housekeeping might seem quaint or odd. A century or two ago, and in fact until the past few decades, it was taken for granted, and the quality of housekeeping was not beneath the attention of such great novelists as Jane Austen and Leo Tolstoy." -Cheryl Mendelson, Home Comforts: The Art & Science of Keeping House

I think this is true in my own life anyway. When my house runs smoothly and is in order, I feel in control but when it is disorganised or dirty, I feel irritable and unhappy. It is true that most people don't notice housework until it's not done, and that in itself doesn't bolster the home keepers' spirits. However, I have learnt to focus on the end result. It helps me get through the mundane cleaning.

There is a scripture that says that without a vision the people perish and I often equate housework with this verse. Unless we visualise the finished result of a clean house, we will often neglect doing it and miss the mark completely as regards of being a good home keeper. Like it or not, good housekeeping creates happiness. If we lose sight of that, we will be people without a vision!

Funnily enough, when my house is clean and tidy, I find am less anxious and I find it easier to relax as a clean house makes me happy.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Where [there is] no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy [is] he. Proverbs 29:18

Memories of a vintage housekeeper

   

         

My mother was a good homemaker. Some of my earliest memories were of her hanging out washing on her long line held up by props.  She used to boil up the copper and honestly, she had the whitest washing ever.  She used Rinso to wash the clothes and Lux Flakes for delicates.

When I was really young, we didn't have hot water on tap, so Mum would boil up the kettle, fill the sink- a single sink- and she used a metal cage thing with slivers of Velvet soap in it to soap up the water. Steel wool was the go for saucepans and the plates were washed with a foam rubber sponge.

Whilst she was washing the dishes, she would have the kettle on again to rinse them. Then we children would dry them for her. We had metered gas by way of a machine with a coin slot in it in the laundry. When the gas got low, Mum would put sixpence or a shilling in it...

We all bathed daily and our hot water was heated by way of a chip heater over the bath. I can still remember fighting over who was the child who was to be seated under it. It was scary to a kid's mind. In fact, I sometimes still dream of it- making sure the water tap was on before lighting the pilot light.

Pride of place in our living room was the clothes horse aka clothes airer. Mum was very careful to air all our clothes and she spent quite a lot of time arranging clothes on it daily.

Mum had it tough too because we four children were bed wetters. She worked very hard to keep up with it all. 

With all her neighbours finishing their chores by 9am, poor Mum was still washing the sheets. In fact, when they called on her for a cuppa, she would be flustered because she was inundated with work.

Mondays Mum "did through".  She vacuumed, dusted, cleaned the bath and toilet and ironed. She also polished the linoleum in the kitchen with her Hoover polisher. It was quite a chore, with applying polish, buffing it with the machine then redoing it with the lambswool pads.  Her Monday routine was as regular as the sun coming up in the morning. 

Everyday, she would also make the beds, do her washing, think about what was for tea that night, clean her kitchen and sweep the carpets with a carpet sweeper. Routines were written in stone.

Mum didn't have a car, in fact Dad didn't even have one. She would catch the bus into town and shop for groceries which were delivered to our house. No plastic bags: the bags were brown paper...

I remembered how hard she worked the day I held her gnarled hand as she passed. She certainly loved her home and family... 

I am so glad that God honours the hardworking woman. In writing her eulogy, I included that well-known and loved verse from Proverbs 31 and when it was read, everyone of us nodded our heads in agreement and acknowledgement. She was blessed.

Memories of a well kept house we were never ashamed to call home will always be dear, along with the memories of a tired but diligent homemaker and her wonderful serving of our family, and then her  second husband's. 

Yes, they're happy memories of a vintage housekeeper

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.  Proverbs 31:28

I love being mistress of my home

Over the years I have spent a lot of time in hospitals with Scheuermann's disease, a spinal disease which caused bad back problems. Whilst spending 2 weeks at a time in traction, flat on my back and unable to move at all, the days would drag out so slowly and my thoughts would naturally turn to home.

In the morning, I would look at my watch and note that it was time for my children to be getting ready for school and I would wonder if their father or grandmother had everything under control and if the children were buying their lunch at the school canteen or taking a cut lunch. Were they missing me? I missed them. Terribly. And as I felt my eyes fill, I knew that I would give anything to be with them, looking after my own household.

Now this was a strange thing to think because I have to be honest and say that I often had suffered from a dislike of homemaking in my younger years and I can remember saying on occasion that I would rather be working outside the home than being trapped there, doing endless loads of washing and changing little bottoms, wiping little noses and washing floors!

But as the long weeks dragged on, punctuated only by bedpans and meals, I realised that life has a way of making us think of those things that truly matter. And as I watched the nurse close the drapes, heralding another long night of snoring patients and torchlight visits by nurses checking on my legs and feet, my heart would almost break longing to be home in my own bed surrounded by my family.

I would fall asleep dreaming and planning of changes that I would make as soon as I got home- ways that I could be a better wife, mother and homemaker. And as soon as the nurse came in at 7am throwing the drapes apart and bringing in the morning medications, my mind would turn to planning new homemaking schedules and better routines and I would find myself pining to be mistress of my home once again.

Sometimes I think God brings things into our lives so that we may learn from them. In my case, my enforced bed rest made me re-evaluate my life and realise that I had the best of life already. Until my back problems, I didn’t really enjoy my role as homemaker- I loved being a wife and mother- but housework- forget it! It took a few bouts of traction to get me to be still long enough to really consider that which is truly important.

And as I finally healed of the disease that ate away all the discs in my lower back, I not only regained my physical strength, but my spiritual strength and I realised that you never know what you have, until it’s gone. For God not only healed my back, but my attitudes. I resumed my homemaking duties with gusto and enthusiasm. I was thankful for the valuable lesson learned-that I love being mistress of my home!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom.  Psalm 90:12

For my little angels

                                          

On wings of love we'd have laid you down, 

Wrapped moonbeams round your sides, 

We'd dim the light of distant stars 

And sing you lullabies. 

We'd linger round your cradle 

As we'd gaze at you in awe- 

To us you'd  be as angels 

Too perfect for this world. 

You must have dreamt of Heaven 

For you decided not to stay, 

The angels came and took you 

As under my heart you lay. 

Now Jesus gently rocks you 

In His strong and gentle arms, 

We know now, little angels, 

You are safe from any harm… 

Lord, lay them down in a cradle of gold, 

Tuck rainbows round their sides, 

Cover them with Your angels’ wings 

And if they ever cry- 

Tell them Mum and Dad are coming 

Just as soon as they awake- 

Please kiss our little angels, Lord 

And love them in our place.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 18:10 

Remembering my twins, Sarah Robyn and Ruth Glenys Urbani, born sleeping November 12, 1969

I'm no longer a bunny!

 

So Easter has come and gone and so have all my spoons! I have been under the weather all over Easter and have a constant fibromyalgia flare, coupled with spinal pain.

With moving the homemaking help for the elderly stopped and it would take a long time to get it all arranged. We have decided to enlist a woman to clean for us fortnightly again.

This lady is very efficient and friendly as well and although we enlisted her for once a month cleaning, the truth is I need her fortnightly. I can maintain our home in between her visits, but with once a month, the house is needing a more thorough clean and therefore took more than the two hours I hired her to clean.

As always, I hate needing to have help these days, and Chris is too unwell to help me. It is what it is..

You would think that with having back pain for forty years and fibromyaglia and angina for twenty, that I would be more gracious to myself. I should be accepting my lot, but being a woman, I still find my perceived worth as a homemaker is dictated by how fast I spin my wheel without help.

So with my 70th birthday here in a few weeks, I am just going to have to accept my handicaps and be merciful to myself.

I should be glad that I have a husband who agrees to hiring help. A lot of women don't. So I will just stop the pity party and enjoy this season where we can afford her...

And also, when she comes, I am not going to clean the house before she comes... I am a  perfectionist, but no longer... where housework is concerned, I will get the help I need. I'm no longer a bunny!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect. 2 Samuel 22:33

Clean enough to be healthy

I have had a perfectionist streak all my life, but in the last twenty or so years of ill health, I have had to learn to be content with a more relaxed approach to my home making.

Where once I would be consumed with (false) guilt because I made our bed without four corner tucks or I had the blankets bumpy on the bed, I have had to make do with a more lenient approach. I simply don't have the energy to do four corner tucks. However, even the bed made up quickly and sporting a lump here or there, is extremely satisfying to me now that I've gotten past the perfectionism.

Mornings are no longer the time for house keeping. I have to fit in what I can over however long it takes me... and be content at the end of the day that I actually got it done...

I no longer allow cleaning schedules to dictate to me what I must achieve in any given day or time frame: it gets done more or less within the schedule but on a time of my choosing. It's the only way a Sacrificial Home Keeper can manage..

In saying that I am no longer a perfectionist, I still like to live in a clean home. For me, there are basic things that are not negotiable. I cannot live my life happily unless these things are clean:

I must be clean.

My clothes must be clean.

My bed must be fresh and clean.

My dishes and cooking utensils must be clean.

I can't stand smelly toilets and these and my bathroom must be clean.

These days I need help to maintain this list of essentials.  I do not go into a spin if a fly has died on my window ledge or there is some dust on my furniture. I have learned to accept white cat fur as a part of being a mother to a white cat. The floors can be in need of a vacuum, but I now have Roombas to do them.  It has been years since I ironed something that only I will see... and I learned years ago that one can sleep on unironed pillowcases... it can be done!

I find cooking, shopping, menu and social planning, washing and folding of clothes, managing finances and being a loving wife to my husband is enough for me to cope with. I know from experience over the years that by not pacing myself, I will crash and burn and my recovery time will need more than an occasional nana nap...

Accepting our limitations is an important part of staying calm in a world that has become anything but. And for most of us Sacrificial Home Keepers, our world is our home. 

One final thought that helped me was remembering what our family doctor once said to me when my children were young: "A home should be clean enough to be healthy, but untidy enough to be happy!"  I am trusting that I have at last put his advice into action.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect. 2 Samuel 22:33

“Little Angels”

On wings of love we laid you down, 

Wrapped moonbeams round your sides, 

We dimmed the light of distant stars 

And sang you lullabies. 

We lingered round your cradle 

As we gazed at you in awe- 

To us you were as angels 

Too perfect for this world. 

You must have dreamt of Heaven 

For you decided not to stay, 

The angels came and took you 

On the clouds on which you lay. 

Now Jesus gently rocks you 

In His strong and gentle arms, 

We know now, little angels, 

You are safe from any harm… 

Lord, lay them down in a cradle of gold, 

Tuck rainbows round their sides, 

Cover them with Your angels’ wings 

And if they ever cry- 

Tell them Mum and Dad are coming 

Just as soon as they awake- 

Please kiss our little angels, Lord 

And love them in our place.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 18:10 

For Sarah and Ruth born sleeping 12 November 1969

Peaceful home making

Can you imagine living in a world where it is still acceptable to stay home with your children, serve your husband, and dare I say it - keep your home? Where marriage, home and motherhood are held in high esteem and the women caring for their families are blessed by and for their efforts? Picture the scene of past eras wherein a young woman usually left the workforce after marriage to serve her husband and keep her home and await the arrival of her children. She was not looked down on at all, rather the role of wife/mother/homemaker was elevated into something to aspire to. For it is an honourable calling.

We all know that the disdain we stay at home wives and mothers feel today from the world (and even some churches) is contrary to the scriptural role, and we know that it wasn't always so. And as more and more women are pressured into having less children and putting their babies into day centres, a lot of women are feeling cheated and discontented. If the truth was told, I truly believe that most of the women in the workforce today would prefer to be at home having more babies and loving their life! Why isn't it like this today? 

Firstly, I believe a lot of women have bought the lie of feminism. We have been buffeted about and overloaded with so much of their rhetoric that we have slowly come to accept a great deal of what they say. Bowing under the pressure of the world, we have become discontented with our God-given role as wife/mother and keeper of our home.

Secondly, I believe women have generally been so highly educated that they are afraid that they will waste it by staying home. I think nothing could be further from the truth. All education is profitable for a woman- especially if she plans to home school her children. This is slowly gaining popularity in Australia, though nowhere near as much as in the States. But the point I am making is that as mothers, we are teachers. Our knowledge will only serve to benefit our family. And make us more interesting to our husbands.

Thirdly, I think in general we have set our sights on worldly things- the biggest home, cars, furnishings, designer clothing and expensive holidays etc. We have been sucked into the worship of the ravenous god of materialism and commercialism. Homemade is no longer good enough, home cooked is often a rarity, home keeping is a rushed chore and a burden- yet even so, home still is the sweetest place to be and always beckons us back. Are working mothers really getting value for their money? No! By the time we add up the work clothes, gas and fares for getting to and from work, the bought lunches, the more expensive packaged foods for faster meals, and last but in no way, least- the childcare centre, we have very little money available for spending. Are we starting to feel a little bit disillusioned? I would guess: yes a tad!

Now I am not naive: I know about mortgages, or renting, I know how hard it is to keep food on the table and clothes on the family's back- but what I know too is that a lot of extraneous spending could be curtailed and it would be far more profitable to stay at home. I know this, because as have previously shared- I did it for a while. It is more profitable not to work outside the home. And infinitely more satisfying for the whole family.

Frugality, budgeting, and cutting one's cloth according to income are not dirty words: they are words of life- family life. With a bit of planning and foresight, I believe a lot of women would be able to stay home and not suffer for it. The tools are planning, budgeting, frugality, wisdom and desire. I believe it is possible still today to manage on one man's wage- if we learn to be content with what we have or to downsize to make staying home with the children feasible. It is a heart issue.

So back to imagination: can you imagine rising and getting your husband off to work, having made him a leisurely breakfast and a cut lunch, guiding your children through bathing, dressing and breakfast in a calm manner, filling them with the best of breakfasts, then homeschooling or sending them to school with a nutritious packed lunch? No frantic last-minute hunt for lost notebooks or library books-or hearing your child read whilst you are hurriedly applying your makeup for work? Or worse still, from the other side of the bathroom door? No, you have had plenty of time last night to do these things and to be organised for the early morning rush. You are looking well to the ways of your own household.

As soon as the children are at school or setting about their lessons at home, you start to work your way through your chores, making beds and doing laundry whilst the crockpot bubbles away with some soup for lunch and the meat defrosts for the evening meal. You know exactly what you are having: you made your menu and shopping list and you are in control! Doesn't it feel good? Tonight when your husband gets home from work, you will be there to greet him with the children working steadily at their homework and the table set and dinner's delicious aroma wafting through the house to welcome him home. And if Dad works late shift, the children will at least get to see him at breakfast instead of being dragged out of their bed at some early hour to go to daycare.

Imagine if this was a reality in your life- would you want it? Thousands of women are turning their back on materialism, small families and feministic ideals and are turning back to God's Word for their lives and families. They are coping and they are gaining strength as a force that is pro-life, pro-family and pro-marriage. Their children are reaping the benefits of having a full-time mother who fills their world with soundness in a world she knows is anything but.

What is the future for the stay-at home mother? I believe job satisfaction: the knowledge that because she has applied herself to live her life according to godly principles and used wisdom, frugality and ingenuity in order to do it. Her marriage is stronger, her children happier and her home easier to manage. She knows that she is really free at last to be all God created her to be- a loving wife, mother and keeper of her home. And she rejoices at the days to come. Her husband is well looked after and well loved, as are her children. She doesn't worry what the world thinks about her life choices- she is following God's plan for her life. And her life is good- for all God's ways are good.

Imagine if all married women vetoed the work force, applied themselves to living frugally and returned home as stay at home wives and mothers…I imagine a lot of people would return to peaceful home making.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully." 1 Timothy 5:14

A clean house makes me happy

"To the contemporary mind, the idea that happiness depends on good housekeeping might seem quaint or odd. A century or two ago, and in fact until the past few decades, it was taken for granted, and the quality of housekeeping was not beneath the attention of such great novelists as Jane Austen and Leo Tolstoy." -Cheryl Mendelson, Home Comforts: The Art & Science of Keeping House

I think this true in my own life anyway. When my house runs smoothly and is in order, I feel in control but when it is disorganised or dirty, I feel irritable and unhappy. It is true that most people don't notice housework until it's not done, and that in itself doesn't bolster the home keepers' spirits. However, I have learnt to focus on the end result. It helps me get through the mundane cleaning.

There is a scripture that says that without a vision the people perish and I often equate housework with this verse. Unless we visualise the finished result of a clean house, we will often neglect doing it and miss the mark completely as regards of being a good home keeper. Like it or not, good housekeeping creates happiness. If we lose sight of that, we will be people without a vision!

Funnily enough, when my house is clean and tidy, I find am less anxious and I find it easier to relax as a clean house makes me happy.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Where [there is] no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy [is] he. Proverbs 29:18

"But by the grace of God, go I"

As you probably know, I suffer from a myriad of health issues from life threatening to annoying. Each day is a constant struggle to keep my home and look after Chris and myself and our little white cat, Xena.

Recently, I read an article about chronically ill bloggers who use the internet to feed their latent Munchausen's disease  The writer who obviously is not suffering an invisible chronic illness, concludes- falsely that we are feeding a desire for attention and sympathy.

This writer had no medical expertise and spoke with the confidence and freedom of a healthy person who knows nothing of the pain every day brings to us who aren't so blessed. It made me both angry and sad.

Anyone who manages to carry on a relatively "normal" life, sacrificing their comfort to serve and love those closest to them, know that the only thing we really desire is compassion. We rarely take delight in our symptoms, in fact the majority of us try very hard to appear as a healthy person in spite of being in pain and discomfort.

Goodness knows, we suffer so much with people judging us unkindly and this simply serves to push us further into depression and loneliness. Especially when our illness is invisible, like fibromyalgia.

Many of us chronically ill people are housebound for the most part, and therefore we feel a certain amount of loneliness and disjointment from society. We simply want to be respected and allowed to simply exist without the stigma of mental disease in the form of Munchausen's.

We bloggers of chronic illness do so because we know the feeling of disenfranchisement in a social sense. We are stripped of our right to live in peace and freedom from bullying ignorant people. 

Writing for those who suffer like we do helps us to reach out to people who would understand the psychological insulation and the sting of being misjudged and categorised as a malingering attention seeker. 

Whilst it is true that we have the LORD to love us unconditionally, it nevertheless hurts us that people are so cruel and instrumental in adding ridiculous labels to us that demoralise us even further.

Chronic illness and pain is a horrid  way to live and those who cast stones at us would do well to thank God that they aren't so afflicted. God has not chosen them to walk the lonely path of chronic illness and they also would do well to remember "but by the grace of God, go I" 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. 3 John 1:2

Be blessed in your calling.

Serve God wherever He calls you. As a woman, wife, mother, homemaker or chronically ill woman.

If God has created you as a woman then the natural outflow of that is your calling as a wife etc and if you are a single woman, then your calling is to be a godly woman. You do not have to look for any other callings, for if you are God's, then being a godly woman in all these capacities, is your calling.

By embracing your calling and living a godly life, you will find contentment and peace. By living out your calling, you also will be living under God's Umbrella of Protection.

Be happy in your calling and seek to be the best Christian you can be. Our hearts are what God's interested in for that is what will last for eternity!

Be comforted and blessed in your calling.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

“See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” Ephesians 5:15-17

Mummy remembers you

On wings of love we'd have laid you down, 

Wrapped moonbeams round your sides, 

We'd dim the light of distant stars 

And sing you lullabies. 

We'd linger round your cradle 

As we'd gaze at you in awe- 

To us you'd  be as angels 

Too perfect for this world. 

You must have dreamt of Heaven 

For you decided not to stay, 

The angels came and took you 

As under my heart you lay. 

Now Jesus gently rocks you 

In His strong and gentle arms, 

We know now, little angels, 

You are safe from any harm… 

Lord, lay them down in a cradle of gold, 

Tuck rainbows round their sides, 

Cover them with Your angels’ wings 

And if they ever cry- 

Tell them Mum and Dad are coming 

Just as soon as they awake- 

Please kiss our little angels, Lord 

And love them in our place.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 18:10 

Remembering my twins, Sarah Robyn and Ruth Glenys Urbani, born sleeping November 12, 1969

Sufficient unto the day

 

As  a woman who suffers from chronic illness and pain through fibromyalgia,  I often succumb to bouts of depression. I have a few tips on overcoming it. 

First and foremost, start your day in prayer. Ask God for the strength to face the day and play worship music to lift your spirit.

Try to be in the moment and take one day at a time. That's all we can tackle otherwise, the sense of failure can be overwhelming. We aren't meant to take it on all at once.

If you try to just focus on the next task at hand and not dwell on the future, it will help your attitude to realise that you have accomplished something. It will then snowball as you progress through the day.

With chronic illness, I set myself just one or two daily goals that are achievable: for me it is wash the dishes and put away the clean clothes. I only focus on those goals that I know are achievable and if at the end of the day, they are done, then I feel a sense of accomplishment instead of defeat.

Nothing depresses me more than a feeling that I have achieved nothing all day. I don't worry that others may say "for goodness sake, it's only washing dishes..." for us in the throes of illness, be it mental or physical- it's a big deal. Delight yourself in small victories.

I find that in setting small goals it knocks the cloud of gloom off its perch and makes me hopeful that I will be able to rise above the depression. Give yourself a high five and see that any job you do is a step in the right direction. It still blesses your family and serves the LORD. 

I think when we are depressed and/or in pain, the desire to go Home to the LORD is strong. After all, we are tired of living in a world of pain and we look forward to our redemption. But in saying that, we still have a work to do until that time. 

As FlyLady says, baby steps. But just taking baby steps lead us out of our rut and it is that first baby step that will hasten our healing of depression and sense of failure. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

 Sufficient to the day is the evil thereof. Matthew 6:34 

You are doing well!

If you suffer from chronic pain as I do, do you sometimes feel less worthy as a woman, wife, mother and homemaker because of your illness? At times like these, fibromyalgia/CFS, lupus and heart disease can cause chronic pain, and can become very lonely diseases. And self-fulfilling ones.

It does seem unfair that not only do we have this accursed disease but that we feel obliged to defend ourselves constantly! Sometimes even to doctors! Families can often be the worst with their taunts about being a hypochondriac and demanding we get a job! Why don’t they realise just breathing is a job some days and besides which, your joints and muscles feel as stiff as a statue??

Because I walk in your shoes, may I offer you some advice and comfort? Which I know you need as you bear one of the heaviest loads imaginable: chronic pain and illness whilst trying to be a good wife, mother and home maker.

Are we not the best of loving wives and mothers, homemakers, servants of our family and the LORD? We don’t throw in the towel and give up because we can’t- we have our families and home to look after- but we draw on all our innermost reserves to give to our families what is needed when we just want to crawl back into bed and vegetate. Do we? Not as much as we want!

We show great devotion, endurance, and self-sacrifice with our limited energy and draw closer to God than perhaps most healthy women would do. Why? Because it is harder for us! 

Isn't it more valuable in spiritual terms to deny oneself the rest and ease we would love to indulge in, than to achieve the "honour" of having the most spotless of homes etc with relatively little cost as regards personal denial and physical pain? 

Kind of like Jesus's parable of the widow's mite- she gave all she had and the others gave of their abundance! Do you not see the correlation? We give our all, not just a little of the abundance of our strength. Surely then for us, are we not more worthy of honour and appreciation? I would say so!

And so I would encourage you to realise that you do not have to take the taunts and demands to heart, nor let it settle in your spirit. You do not have to defend yourself incessantly to anyone, because you are doing far more already than most people of lesser fortitude would do. Furthermore, God hears our sighs and pleas, He knows we are but dust and knows our frame- He most of all identifies with our weaknesses!

Will He not say "Well done Thou good and faithful servant" Matthew 25:21  to us who struggle to serve others every day when our flesh cries out for compassion and being served ourselves? In moments like these, I cling close to Christ and let His compassion and grace wash over me afresh- for without His closeness I would never get up some mornings! With the Psalmist, let us rely on God for our strength as we cry, "I love you LORD my strength!" Psalm 18:1 I pray you feel His loving help.  You are doing well!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Housework gives back more than it takes

Over the years, I have collected some posts that have blessed me enormously. This is one of them, and although I have lost the name of the writer, I am sharing it with you in the hope that it will bless you too. Here are some wonderful words of wisdom and encouragement.

Not many of us really enjoy housework. I love being in my home but if I look at housework as one big thing - washing, cleaning, cooking, baking, gardening, maintenance, mending etc. - it can be overwhelming and I don't know where to start. My best advice is to organise yourself and do things ahead of time. 

Most of us don't do all our housework in one day. We organise smaller chunks of work and spread it out over a week, or a weekend with small chores morning and evening. When you organise your work into chunks and do it at the same time each week or day, that's a routine and it usually makes it easier. The Keep Calm and Carry On idea came from Britain before and during WW2 and it's helpful to remember it now too. 

Relaxed order in my home makes me calmer and happier. My routines are weekly - which change with the times - and if I stick to those changeable routines, I get through my work without rushing and usually get it all done. If I don't, I don't care. The chance to do it all again will present itself a second time tomorrow or the next day. 

Living in a clean and tidy home gives all of us the opportunity to start each day rested, well-fed and with the knowledge that we'll be returning to a calm home after work or school. It also gives structure and stability to those of us who work at home. 

If you're struggling with housework, don't think of your work as drudgery or a waste of time. You'll develop a mindset of productivity and progress at home if you think of it as fluffing your nest and making your home feel comfortable. You might find housework easier if you develop a routine. 

To do that, make up a realistic list of the work you have to do in a week, divide it up into days, giving every person in the house responsibility for certain tasks, then decide when the work will be done. You might have a couple of big days when you do the laundry and the shopping and you might get someone to help you with cleaning and batch cooking. The work is not all yours and your partner's. 

Show all the kids how to make their beds, organise their clothes, both dirty and clean, and then expect their beds and clothes to be taken care of without too much input from you. Although you'll have to supervise this when they start. No matter how you divide the chores, it's only your job alone if you live alone. 

If you have a family, they should do their fair share. Start them young and they'll grow up being able to look after themselves, a definite bonus. If you're struggling to start, set a timer and work on something for 15 minutes. Then sit down and have a tea or coffee or walk around the garden. 

Even an untidy kitchen with dirty pots and pans could be cleaned up in two 15 minute sessions. When you clean up the whole house, and that might take a couple of days, keep on top of it with a routine that works for you. I promise you, when you have a clean and organised home, it will support you and your family in all the fun and interesting things you want to do. 

Our lives are a continuing process of reorganisation. There are many ways of living simply and sustainably but if you work calmly and don't let the house become chaotic, you'll benefit from it. It's up to each of us to choose how we work in our homes, create routines that work, and change them when we need to. We put time and effort into housework, but it will give back more than it takes. author unknown

         Blessings, Glenys

So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom. Psalm 90:12

Beatitudes for a housewife

Blessed is she whose daily tasks are a labor of love; for her willing hand and happy heart translate duty into privilege, and her labor becomes a service to God and all mankind.

Blessed is she who opens the door to welcome both stranger and well-loved friend; for gracious hospitality is a test of brotherly love.

Blessed is she who mends stockings and toys and broken hearts, for her understanding is a balm to humanity.

Blessed is she who children love, for the love of a child is more to be valued than fortune or fame.

Blessed is she who sings at her work; for music lightens the heaviest load and brightens the dullest chore.

Blessed is she who dusts away doubt and fear and sweeps out the cobwebs of confusion; for her faith will triumph over all adversity.

Blessed is she who serves laughter and smiles with every meal; for her buoyancy of spirit is an aid to mental and physical digestion.

Blessed is she who preserves the sanctity of the Christian home; for hers is a sacred trust that crowns her with dignity.

Blessings, Glenys

Author unknown- Taken from the Yankee Kitchen Cookbook, 1969

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price [is] far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10

Making a difference!

As sacrificial home keepers, we still can achieve a good deal in creating a peaceful home for our family. We can still make a difference: it just takes extra planning and energy and consulting our lists!

"What really does work to increase the feeling of having a home and its comforts is housekeeping. Housekeeping creates cleanliness, order, regularity, beauty, the conditions for health and safety, and a good place to do and feel all the things you wish and need to do and feel in your home.
Whether you live alone or with a spouse, parents, and ten children, it is your housekeeping that makes your home alive, that turns it into a small society in its own right, a vital place with its own ways and rhythms, the place where you can be more yourself than you can be anywhere else." by Cheryl Mendelson, Home Comforts: The Art & Science of Keeping House

I have posted lists that show how we sacrificial home keepers can stay on top of things by planning and pacing. I hope they will be of some help to you. Feel free to print the Lists out if you want.

No matter how little we do or how big or small our home is, we can still be like the Proverbs 31 woman and and still live out Titus 2. We can still make a difference!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom" Psalm 90:12

Thank You, God for forgiving me!

My mother died of dementia two years ago. My brother lived with her all his life,  so when she became ill, he became her carer.

Just before it finally became necessary for her to go into a nursing home, my brother had a severe heart attack and so Mum came to stay with us while he was in hospital.

I remember this chapter of my life so well, and it is a shameful time for me and one I regret. Forgiven, yes, but I can't forget the way I treated her during that week.

We had just moved into a new rented home and we were extremely stressed. Mum was missing my brother and was concerned about him. Every five minutes she would ask if I would ring the hospital and enquire about him. I would tell her that we already rang and they said he was resting comfortably after having a stent put in. 

I reassured Mum that as soon as he was allowed visitors, we would take her to visit him.Which we did. But still she fretted and wanted to go see him. After a while, it got very wearying.

The room where Mum was staying in had a holland blind that had chains for putting up or down, and when I took a cup of tea into her, I noticed the blind edge at the bottom had been pulled off. 

Not even unpacked yet, I was upset that already we had damaged  a new house. I realised that Mum had pulled it down instead of using the chain tracking. When I asked her if she had done it, she declared it wasn't her- it just broke. She was like a little child found with her hand in the cookie jar. To my shame, I was less than gracious to her. 

She was on medication for a urinary tract infection and half an hour after I gave her her tablets, she said she felt nauseous. I quickly ran to the laundry and grabbed a bucket for her, but she shouted at me that she was not going to use that... and promptly started gagging.

I quickly guided her to the nearby toilet and lifted the seat up for her, but she refused to vomit into the toilet and in fact swung her head from side to side, projectile vomiting all over the walls and floor.

It was all so unnecessary, and as I cleaned her up and then cleaned up the toilet, I did so in a bad humour. I asked her how hard was it to use the bucket I had brought to her and pointed out the awful mess that I had to clean... and as my fibromyalgia was bad and my spoons scarce, I was very ticked off with her and having to clean it up.

Mum hung her head, and said quietly, "Well I used to clean up after you!" It brought me undone. I cried and held her and told her I loved her. It was a good hour before I could stop crying as I saw Mum as she was- a woman in a child's body, scared of what was happening to her and scared of me!

Later, we were at the table and I was trying to coax Mum to eat. She was a stubborn woman with a will of iron, and as I cut her bread and butter up to make egg soldiers, I realised that she was losing her battle fast. Her body no longer knew how to eat. The long goodbye was getting shorter. She was dying!

I cried before the LORD when I was in the bathroom, torn between grief and guilt for losing my temper with Mum. I had never done that before or since, but I stayed there until I felt calm again and purposed to be kinder to her.

Fortunately for Mum, she had forgotten that I had been cross and happily did a tour of inspection of the new house, holding my hand in case she got lost. She didn't know how to get back to her room or kitchen.

Although Mum had forgotten about it, I hadn't and to this day, I still feel ashamed of my lack of patience. I know God has forgiven me, and graciously arranged that when she passed, she was holding my hand and peaceful. It was healing for me and good for her.

Even so, there are times when I am grieving for her that I wish I could live that day again. I would be much nicer and kinder. Thank You, God for forgiving me!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent. Psalm 71:9