- Pornography invalidates the one flesh relationship of the covenant of marriage.
- It denigrates married love to animal baseness and allows women to be used as sex objects instead of loved tenderly.
- Women who engage in pornography also tend to treat men with little respect.
- It encourages selfish love making and greater expectation of the act
- It can make a woman feel dirty and effects her relationship with her husband if he watches it
- It creates a lustful mindset that overflows into the heart and becomes sinful actions.
- It encourages a roving eye and Jesus says that is adultery in the heart therefore sin.
A Spotless Bride
Clean enough to be healthy
Above reproach
- Pornography invalidates the one flesh relationship of the covenant of marriage.
- It denigrates married love to animal baseness and allows women to be used as sex objects instead of loved tenderly.
- Women who engage in pornography also tend to treat men with little respect.
- It encourages selfish love making and greater expectation of the act
- It can make a woman feel dirty and effects her relationship with her husband if he watches it
- It creates a lustful mindset that overflows into the heart and becomes sinful actions.
- It encourages a roving eye and Jesus says that is adultery in the heart therefore sin.
We all live in glass houses
Pain is a disability
Anyone who suffers from chronic pain knows that it precludes us from a lot of enjoyment of life. Pain makes the vicissitudes of life that much harder to bear.
Everything is exaggerated both physically and mentally, and the only thing I can do is accept that this is not my usual self, for pain changes people.
Pain disables us in many ways. from physical activity. from family life. from sex. from sleep. from patience. from social life. from functioning normally. from life generally.
The effects of pain cause us to withdraw from people and become reclusive. It makes us feel isolated and unable to really feel understood or validated. We learn to be distrustful of others.
Because chronic pain, in my case fibromyalgia, causes us so much mental as well as physical angst, we decide to retreat to our home often preferring it even if we had enough spoons to leave.
Seeing as pain is such a disabling affliction, it makes no sense to me that we are often regarded by doctors with suspicion when we request heavy duty pain relief such as opiates.
Most of us cannot get enough medication to adequately help us with our pain. We often then succumb to depression and live as recluses due to agoraphobia.
We who suffer from chronic pain know that it is a disability. Invisible and destructive. We live in the knowledge that pain is disabling.
We just wish doctors were as aware of the ongoing relentless disability called Pain.
Sex isn't everything.
Sometimes you just have to be separate
Some things only parents should share
Sex isn't everything
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
Chief among ten thousand
Bring to mind all the little things he said or did that spoke to you in your early days together. Remember how he looked, how he smelt..his aftershave, even his sweat and the smoothness of his skin, his eyes, his voice. Remember too the intimate moments you shared in the past and let them intoxicate you again with rekindled love for your man. Cultivate a thankful heart for being his wife and look forward to celebrating that oneness in the beauty of the marital bed. True intimacy is not what is shown in pornography. Under no circumstances focus on other people’s intimacy…you want to foster desire for your own husband’s embrace.
I believe that this is a great way to help overcome fatigue and lack of desire without sinning.. Take a look at the Song of Solomon and rekindle the flame
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
Warning danger ahead!
Have you, like me, been totally appalled lately with what you see on TV? We watch an English serial called “The Bill” Currently the Detective Inspector is having an affair with a very attractive Police Constable and the whole context is that the DI’s wife is prudish, frigid, inferior and the PC is anything but. The scriptwriters purposely make the cheating spouse attractive and the betrayed spouse unattractive! This is promoting adultery as an attractive past time. And denigrates marriage.
This will take a lot more than a night-time story, glass of milk and “God bless Mummy and Daddy” prayers to fix. For the danger is that little minds will be forever corrupted by what they absorb NOW. And the images foisted on young brains will be contrary to all our lessons on purity and holiness- and it will take a miracle to erase them from our children’s consciousness.
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
Cheating fingertips
Flirting is always dangerous for unmarried people trying to stay pure, to engage in, but for married couples, it is often an enticement to commit adultery. Never before has it been easier than with the internet!
Online chat groups and mixed gender pool rooms etc promote not only flirting, but immorality. Two of our family members have been divorced because of online chat room romances. They were left by their errant spouses because their spouses had found someone else online. It is a sad state of affairs! Literally!
Online or cyber sex is *sex*... it is just as damaging as real life sex to the emotional and trusting side of marriage and is sin! For this reason, Chris and I never go into online chat lines or strike up cyber friendships with the opposite sex. We are aware of the dangers! But a lot of people aren’t apparently. They become attached to someone online and sometimes this can lead to a rendezvous or an affair and sometimes, as in our family, sometimes a divorce.
Often when an online friendship is struck up, it starts off innocently enough, but can often escalate. Especially once flirting and innuendo takes over. Which is often. So, because we value and protect our marriage, we never go online and chat, except to our family.
Flirtatious behaviour is sinful, especially when done trying to entice someone else's husband! It is not proper behaviour for a Christian. We are wise to avoid chat rooms, messaging etc and any other behaviour that entices someone to sin and/or lust over someones’ marriage partner.
In marriage our whole body and mind should be devoted to our spouse. That includes your fingertips!
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. Matthew 5:28
Created for love
Silent wings
"Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Ephesians 5:33
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24 |
Feminism has burst our bubble
Sometimes you just have to be separate
Behind closed doors
With her stomach aching and bruised in places one never sees, she told her sad tale of spousal rape, an assault that not only caused much physical damage 5 weeks after major womens' surgery, but which left her terrified of her husband. Sleeping in the bed with him was a torment that birthed nightmares and a feeling of suffocation: an aftermath of him smothering out her screams with her pillow.
What did this hurting woman receive? Certainly not compassion: her ears rang as she was told that he had his needs! After all, 5 weeks is a long time for a man! She replied that she had just had surgery. Stitches. Repairs! She was feeling dreadfully alone and condemned. Especially when she was told that there are other things you could do for him! Oh yes, but not to a cold man who disliked kissing and other displays of affection.
Choking on her tears, the frightened wife told her that she hadn't denied him, had just asked for gentleness this one time. But what followed was the worst rape and rage that she had ever known in her then 18 years of marriage.
Unable to share this in public and afraid to cast her husband in a bad light with her family, she turned to the only place where she could perhaps find her God and feel Him in her life again. A God Who watched silently while she suffered, it seemed to her.
Instead she was thrown to the lions. Shot by her own. Condemned and made to feel ashamed and guilty for the act of a sadistic man. Betrayed and humiliated, she left the Pastors' office after being further admonished to cook better, forgive and forget and to remember that he was an unbeliever thus a 'poor sinner', unable to help himself. Oh yes, and she was to smile! And with a witness like that, he would be sure to come to Christ! It was almost verbatim the advice that Debi Pearl gives in her dangerous book, Created To Be His Helpmeet. And the book hadn't even been written!
Where is this woman today? Well, fortunately, God did meet her in her darkest hour. She cooked better, prayed harder, believed for a miracle of love to be born, stayed for another 7 years and suffered from sleep deprivation and fear. She walked on egg shells but kept believing that God would change her husband.
Finally, unable to keep any food down for fear, she decided that she couldn't bear any more. She timidly approached her husband one night, and asked him to seek marriage counselling or she would be gone in the morning. His response was the same as always: he had done nothing wrong. Marriage counselling was a waste of time he said: indeed, he wouldn't know for he opted not to attend each time a session had been arranged. She told him she would be gone in the morning and he agreed, "OK, go!"
She took only the clothes on her back and her baby photos, carried in two garbage bags for she was afraid to take anything that he would come after her for. She found a church that was compassionate and loving. She divorced him. Four years later, God blessed her with a godly new husband who loves her and who allowed her to start living at the ripe old age of 45! And her children rejoiced for her!
What would this woman say to you if you are abused? She would tell you to use sound judgement and remove yourself and your children from all harm. She would say that you should give your abusive husband time to repent before initiating divorce proceedings, and that you should give God time to work in your husbands' heart.
However, she would say that if there is no change after a few years or if there is threat of him coming after you, that you should consider a divorce. Life is precious and she now knows that we serve a God Who cares deeply about what goes on with His children, even behind closed doors.
I know she would advise you not to take to heart the advice for abused wives from Debi and Michael Pearl in Created To Be His Helpmeet, but to use common sense. She also would tell you to stand strong against the stigma you *may* receive if you divorce: your divorce is a matter between you and God and is not the unpardonable sin. He knows what may go on behind closed doors!
Finally, she would tell you to not suffer in silence and risk death as she did. If you are Christians, she would tell you that domestic violence is not a sole practice of the heathen: it *can* and *does* occur in the Church.
She would be the first to put an arm around you and pray for you, admonishing you to never throw away your confidence that is in Christ: no matter where or when trouble comes, He does see and does care. God calls us to live in peace... that is what she would lovingly tell you. I know this because, that girl was me.
Yes, God hates divorce, but He also hates the violence and treachery that leads to it!
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet [is] she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. Malachi 2:14