As a child
Damned if you do, damned if you don't
Alas, she was confronted with angry looks and tut tuts from fellow shoppers for smacking him! Almost in tears, she remarked loudly enough for them to hear that she was damned if she did, and damned if she didn't smack him to bring him into line.
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
Soul mates for life
Most of us married people want to be happy in our marriage. We want it to last forever and we want our husband to be happy. A big part of a man's happiness involves how loved, respected and appreciated he feels. So how do we make him feel that?
With Chris, he appreciates me listening to him and giving him my full attention. So when he talks to me about things that I have no interest in like cars and motorbikes and so on, I make myself listen and interact with him. This is a real test of my patience for me because we are together 24/7 every day of the year.
He doesn't help me much in the home because of his own health issues, so when he does, I thank him sincerely. Usually I give him a kiss as well because his love language is touch. Fortunately mine is as well.
I think honest appreciation and praise help build a man's esteem and I often tell Chris what I love about him and we celebrate little anniversaries of events like when we got engaged, our first kiss and so on. It keeps our love alive.
Although once I said that Chris is a good man but a horrible patient, I don't bag him to others- especially family. I think that is something that a lot of married people do and it makes a man feel anything but appreciated and respected.
Like most people if they are honest, we have had an occasional fight, but generally I would say that we both feel respected, appreciated and loved.
On the private side of marriage, I feel it's important to be affectionate and responsive to your husband and never belittle him if he truly isn't a Don Juon.
In regards to parenting, I believe a man can be shot down in flames in front of his children if we are not united in front of them. Respect and appreciation is necessary so as not to usurp his authority as a father and leader of the home.
A man's provision for his family should never be called into question. He is usually spinning his wheel as fast as he can at work and we should never belittle him or grumble about how much other men are earning more than him.
One should never emasculate one's husband by suggesting he "get a real job" when he is toiling at a job that some consider beneath them.
We must show our appreciation and respect of him as bread winner by supporting him in whatever line of work he's in. Respect and appreciation make a man feel loved.
It is within a wife's power to keep a man happy and feeling respected and appreciated. Any man can be married, but not happy. Make sure your husband a happily married man so that you will be soul mates for life.
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 1 Peter 3:5-6
Let no man unravel
We can see how God created two genders with distinctive characteristics. We have also seen how He expects and desires those genders to live and present themselves in a manner that is in keeping with the gender in which we were created.
Our gender is decided at conception and was a mystery until recent times when ultrasound enabled sexing of fetuses. And since then we have seen first hand the amount of female fetuses murdered in utero simply because they weren't male.
We have seen women who wanted a girl try to physically change him by presenting him as a girl and encouraging him to live as a girl.
Conversely, I grew up with a boy who actually proved he was a female when he grew breasts, only to have his mother try to remove them with an iron... hard to understand, but true.
Sadly this young woman finally was freed from this mad woman's evil grasp but not before her mother's actions prevented her from ever having children... leaving her a sad woman who longed to live a feminine life that included children, but was unable to.
And now we have others who decide for parents that their children are not happy in their created gender. Without parental permission or even knowledge, these people ursurp parental rights and allow children to undergo medical treatment and butchery which is permanent and which will change their life forever.
In interviews with children and adults who have transitioned, the majority of people regret it and are deeply depressed. What they needed was therapy and guidance, not mutilation, be it surgical or chemical.
To change a person's gender is contrary to scripture and is so contrary to God's Will that one can only believe that those who practise it are thumbing their noses at the Almighty. It is serving the evil one and is in fact a part of their worship and service to him...
Just because it is medically possible to do this, and society has started to accept trans people and the whole gender arena, doesn't make it right- or God given. God gives us our gender and what He has knitted together in the womb, let no man unravel
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
“Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created” . Genesis 5:2
Pink or blue?
What have we gained in all this cross-gender teaching? We have put strains on our kids that they weren’t meant to bear! Our sons have become Sensitive New Age Guys with very little backbone or drive and unsure of their sexuality. And our daughters have become Strident Shrill Task Mistresses who look, think, speak and act like men! Women who pursue men and have taken on the sexually aggressive role and men who allow themselves to be wooed!
Despite what the feminists tell you: men and women are not the same. We are created and “wired up” differently. To prove this, a test was done on babies who were crawling or toddling. At the end of a long room, the babies’ mothers were waiting for them, coaxing them to come! In front of the mothers was a barrier about 2 foot high that to the babies was impenetrable. Behind a 2 way mirror, researchers in childhood behaviour were taking notes and filming.
What happened was very interesting! All the babies headed for their mothers as quickly as they could. On reaching the barrier, all of the girl babies stopped, sat down, looked around and cried loudly. They were all terribly distressed and cried piteously with arms up-stretched to their mothers. They looked for aid when their mothers didn’t reach out for them, crying even louder.
The boy babies met the barrier, and seeing Mother wasn’t about to pick them up, immediately set about examining it. Some patted the barrier, some kicked it, some even tasted it and some eventually tried to scale it, but every one of them tried to conquer it! Not one of the boy babies cried or looked distressed but tried to find a way through, over or under the barrier between them and their mothers!
This proved what can be seen in MRI scans. Male and female brains are wired up differently. All the boy babies were proactive, logical thinkers and strategists, while all the girl babies were reactive, emotional and helplessly relied on assistance and reassurance.
These tests proved that we are created as the scriptures say: the male to have dominion over the earth and subdue it, and the female to be protected by the male and to be nurturing. Eve was after all, the mother of all things..
No matter what feminists say, men and women are different. God created men and women to be equal but to have different roles. What the feminists propose is a blending of the sexes so that the roles and characteristics become so blurred that we have asexual people or bi-sexual. Certainly, to pursue feminist’s ideas, we would have a gross trans-gender mess with neither gender acting within the bounds of their created gender or unsure what their role was.
Accepting and understanding God’s Word, we will do our girls the honour of teaching them how to be godly women, wives and mothers, and our sons to be godly men, husbands and fathers. That’s the way our Creator God wants it and that’s how it should be and we have no business trying to change it. The die has been cast at conception and it is good…Pink or blue: it’s not up to you!
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
“Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created” . Genesis 5:2
Let Him hear your voice!
Fathers must know!
Sometimes fathers underestimate the value of their role in bringing up their children. Especially so for Christian fathers. Your child is constantly looking at your behaviour, speech and mannerisms from early infancy and all you do and say is moulding him or her into your likeness. Good or bad. The father's role as leader of the home and spiritual guide is so critical to your child's development. For it is through their fathers as well as their mother that they learn. Not only do they learn how to do practical things like filling the car with petrol, but they watch how their father interacts with their mother and other authority figures. It is crucial that children see their father respecting and loving their mother and obeying the laws of God and the land. They will take on board any negativity that you both show such as laziness, bad humour, cussing, lack of interest in spiritual matters and even worldly matters. If you doubt the value of a father's role, take a moment to observe your children at play and note how many times Daddy goes to work, how he drives the car, how he speaks to Mummy and to them! It could come as a shock! If you use bad language in front of your little ones, expect them to repeat it! They hear YOU say it- so then to their minds it is correct and proper grammar! Do not feign ignorance or administer punishment if you are using such language- they are just proving my point! Children are like little sponges and are absorbing everything you both do and say. It is crucial to the child's development that he or she feels loved and accepted by their father. Most of us spend all our lives trying to please Dad- even if he has passed on! The place of father is so much more than being just a bread winner- important and appreciated as much as it is! Your children do not know the value of money as youngsters and a child has no comprehension of being in lack. If they are fed, warm, clean and loved, that is all they know and need. The father's role is important and it influences us right up and through the time that we have children of our own. If you weren't much of a parent to your children, the chances are you won't be much of a grandparent to your grandchildren! And most importantly of all, I feel- the spiritual role of father is terribly important. How they relate to your children will model how they perceive God as Father! You can make or break their trust in God by your parenting! May you look at your role as a father as well as a mother through the eyes of your children, and try to be Christ-like! Your child's eternity depends on it! © Glenys Robyn Hicks 'Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?' Hebrews 12:9 |
I refuse to stay in the Pit of Despair!
Depression is often related to one having a sense of loss to something dear to them. In my case I am grieving the loss of my adult children's affection and the feeling that to them I am already dead. I have been tossed out like an old shoe.
Second is the fact that they aren't very nice people and I suspect that one way or the other, I have failed as a mum...
So I had a time of prayer and during that I felt that as far as mothering goes, how they now act as adults is not my fault. I know now that God knows I did bring them all up in the faith and they were taught to be honest and decent people.
I have now decided that I will not stress about not seeing my new great granddaughter or even grandchildren... it is pointless to bond with them when I wont probably see them... I will not waste my last few years waiting for a word from them or even acknowledgement that I exist... if they cared, they would call
So now I am going to move forward and enjoy as much as possible those who do love me and want me in their life...
The hardest lesson I think was to realise that my love for them is not reciprocated and I am not important or valued much in their life at all. It's a bitter pill but once taken, it helps alleviate the grief of unrequited love...
So I am going to move forward and start thinking of positive things, like Chris and those in my family who do love me...
Another lesson was that even though I have no expectation of a relationship and have pulled back to stop hurting, it does not mean I don't love them... it just has to be from afar as they are toxic to me. At this stage of my life, I just need peace. And that doesn't mean I am selfish...
I refuse to stay in the Pit of Despair!
Not everyone's love has grown cold
The global fertility has dropped and therefore can this be an indication that we are in the end days?
I think yes we are, but we still have to live a godly life and not give in to fear.
This is also because generally self is on the throne and children are not considered a blessing.
For some they are a consequence of biological entrapment and are easily gotten rid of.
People use many reasons as an excuse, but most of them go against what God wants for His people.
Feminism has had a big part in turning people off having children and many women have put off motherhood until too late, to become childless and unhappy women.
There's no finer career than being a full time wife and mother and the usual urge to procreate is God-given and sacred.
This sad world needs babies and pregnancy and breast feeding, and booties and prams. Every child is wanted by God and its birthright is to be loved and later on to love.
As long as this world is turning, babies should be cherished and wanted and rocked and loved. For babies are a Gift from our Creator God.
In truth, it seems that what pleases God these days is disregarded and the evil one is having a field day.
The love of many grows cold and sin is increasing, so it can be a sign that we are nearing the end times..
We need to stand firm in our faith and live our life according to godly principles. Making families and bearing children is something that will please God and be an eternal treasure.
Let's keep on keeping on in trust and faith and invest in eternal treasures. Because even in these end days, not everyone's love has grown cold.
I would still sit alone
When I was working in an office about 20 years ago, we would all take our lunch together in the tea room. We ate and chatted and sometimes one particular very self opiniated woman would preside over our talks.
She was very proud of her son who had graduated as a pharmacist and who had his own pharmacy. We saw no harm in that: we would have been proud of his achievements if he was our own son. But one day, she overstepped the mark and upset quite a few women at the table. Myself included.
One of the conversations centred around drug addicts and she declared them all to be a waste of space and definitely would be better off overdosing and dying and getting it over with.
At the time I was a mother of two drug addicted sons who I love dearly and pray for daily with the gut wrenching and desperate prayers that only a mother prays- I took exception to that.
With my stomach turning ill, I picked up my sandwich and took my cup of tea out of the tea room and ate and drank it in my car. She really was too much. I wanted my sons to be delivered and live.
From that day on, I avoided eating my lunch in the tearoom, especially if she was there, but one day I was asked by my boss to make him a coffee, and one of my former lunchtime companions was there.
She asked me directly why I never ate with the women anymore and I told her the truth. I told her that so and so was so hurtful in the things she says and so prideful of her son that she had no consideration that there may be mothers there with prodigal and wayward children who were also drug addicted.
To my surprise, she shared that she too was no longer taking her lunchbreak with so and so because she too had a drug addicted son and it was just too painful to consider that he was better off overdosing.
I said that I was praying for my sons and that I live in fear that they will overdose and I cannot sit and listen to her without feeling sick to the stomach.
She agreed and said that was why she too took her lunchbreak in her car away from her as well. We both agreed that one had to be feeling strong to listen to her raving.
One who doesn't have wayward or prodigal children like so and so had, can not imagine the constant fear when the phone rings that it will be news that her child has indeed overdosed. It gnaws at a mother's heart constantly.
As a Christian, all life is precious and all drug addicts have been enticed by carnal desires and instant gratification and this is something that is very hard to break from. Even with the LORD. Such is the hold from drugs that many have succumbed to their addiction praying for deliverence. And they are saved. They are, because Jesus died for our past, present and future sin. And addiction is sin.
There is hope in Christ and today one of my sons has broken from addiction and can testify that God heard my prayers. I continue to pray for the other who battles with it even while loving the LORD.
To tell me that either of these sons or even your son or daughter who battles drug or alcohol addictions is better off dead is evil. It limits God's ability to heal and deliver us and negates His Blood, and sees only successful humans as worthy of that. None of us are worthy but are sinners saved by Grace.
Nothing has changed my mind about her and people like her: if I turned back the clock, I would still sit alone.
For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s. Romans 14:8
When Christ comes back.
There are no unwanted children in God’s sight
How many times have we heard disbelief and dismay of relatives and friends when it is discovered that a new life is on the way? And worse still, how many people have (hopefully only for a moment), thought or worse still, actually voiced that they may very well terminate it? It’s a fact that quite a large percentage of babies weren’t actually planned, but that is only in our thinking. There are no accidents or unwanted children in God’s sight.
Do you know that God blesses us with conception and withholds conception as a punishment?
And again when the house of Abimelech had Sarah, Abraham’s wife in his harem posing as Abraham’s sister, God closed all the wombs in the palace. That was how Abimelech knew something was amiss in his house! Why? Because the blessing of conception was withheld!
God has formed us in the secret place and knits our bodies together.
We are all unique- even identical twins are not identical in every sense. Each person conceived is special in the LORD’S sight! How it must grieve Him when we express shock and dismay at His wonderful gift of conception!
The godly woman will understand that she is being blessed when she discovers a new life is coming- she will welcome children as a gift from the LORD.
But the ungodly often will react quite differently, spurning the blessing and often taking means to reject it! My heart grieves for those blessings disposed of heartlessly when many a woman desperate for a child would be more than willing to bring it up.
God has a purpose and plan for our lives- even known before we are born. To reject the great gift of conception is to reject one of the greatest gifts and blessings that God can bestow on us. For although a child may not fit in with our plans, God can undertake to provide both materially and emotionally for that child. There are absolutely no accidents, no mistakes in timing, no inconveniences in God’s plan!
I have seen women who vowed to reject the gift of conception by terminating it, bond so intensely with the child when it is in their arms, that they give praise to God for the “inconvenience” and bless Him for their child. I also have known countless couples reject their gift of conception by submitting to sterilisation- only to regret it at a later date. Often a reversal does not repair that which was “fixed” when it was not broken. They pay a high price often, for trying to play a role of life-giver or rejecter- a role that is God’s alone!
How precious indeed is the gift of a child, and indeed the gift of conception. May we never take this gift lightly, or reject it or be dismayed! God’s plans and thoughts are so much higher than ours! Jer 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
For God, there are no unwanted children. If only all people would understand that! © Glenys Robyn Hicks |
It's all good
Just a quick recap of the five areas of service for the Christian woman and wife in order of priority:
- God
- Husband
- Children
- Home
- Church
Because everything is spiritual in our life, I have discovered that when we serve our husbands, we are serving Christ. " Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as is fit in the Lord " Colossians 3:18 "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy" 1 Corinthians 7:14
When we look after our home, we are serving God, our husband and our children. "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully." 1 Timothy 5:14
Serving in church or serving in God's Name is important but should not come before all the other 4 priorities are in order. (widows) " well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work" 1 Timothy 5:10
I have found that often I cannot place a post under just one category because it is so closely correlated to the other categories of service. This is because everything in our lives is spiritual. When we consider the umbrella of God's protection as well, we can see that God's plan for our lives is amazing. We have everything here to guide us as wives, mothers and homemakers. We can be sure that we are living our lives in a way that is pleasing to God and in keeping with His Word.
It is not only comforting to know that God's Word guides us in our daily living, but it is also amazing that we can know with a certainty that God not only approves of us being wives, mothers and homemakers, but that He calls most of us to be that!
If God has called us to be a wife with all that entails, then let us rejoice in His plan for our life. In doing so, we can be partners with God in His greatest creation: people who will love Him and live for eternity with Him! And we will live an abundant life full of blessings as Christ has promised.
© Glenys Robyn Hicks