Morning Cuppas With Glenys : Child abuse

Showing posts with label Child abuse. Show all posts

Let no man unravel

We can see how God created two genders with distinctive characteristics. We have also seen how He expects and desires those genders to live and present themselves in a manner that is in keeping with the gender in which we were created.

Our gender is decided at conception and was a mystery until recent times when ultrasound enabled sexing of fetuses. And since then we have seen first hand the amount of female fetuses murdered in utero simply because they weren't male.

We have seen women who wanted a girl try to physically change him by presenting him as a girl and encouraging him to live as a girl.

Conversely, I grew up with a boy who actually proved he was a female when he grew breasts, only to have his mother try to remove them with an iron... hard to understand, but true.

Sadly this young woman finally was freed from this mad woman's evil grasp but not before her mother's actions prevented her from ever having children... leaving her a sad woman who longed to live a feminine life that included children, but was unable to.

And now we have others who decide for parents that their children are not happy in their created gender. Without parental permission or even knowledge, these people ursurp parental rights and allow children to undergo medical treatment and butchery which is permanent and which will change their life forever.

In interviews with children and adults who have transitioned, the majority of people regret it and are deeply depressed. What they needed was therapy and guidance, not mutilation, be it surgical or chemical.

To change a person's gender is contrary to scripture and is so contrary to God's Will that one can only believe that those who practise it are thumbing their noses at the Almighty. It is serving the evil one and is in fact a part of their worship and service to him...

Just because it is medically possible to do this, and society has started to accept trans people and the whole gender arena, doesn't make it right- or God given. God gives us our gender and what He has knitted together in the womb, let no man unravel

“Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created” . Genesis 5:2

Crying happy tears!

So the last few weeks have been difficult to say the least. We have helped my sister close up her house, moved her in here and found accommodation for my son.

On top of that, RSV has gone through our home and was pretty horrid. My sister says it was worse than Covid.

Add a severe fibromyalgia flare to the mix, and you have a very disheartening turn of events.

I have prayed a lot during the last few weeks but haven't been diligent about reading my bible. To be honest, sometimes it was hard just to keep awake.

Today I finally got back into the Word and was immediately drawn to Proverbs 20:20- Whoever curses his father or his mother, His lamp will be put out in deep darkness.

I was immediately convicted of doing this- not actual cursing but speaking badly of particularly my mother, due to a very traumatic childhood.

I repented quickly but even so, I meditated on this during the night, talking to the LORD about it.

During this talk, I asked Him why He has in fact blessed me all these years, and immediately I felt Him tell me that He knew and saw all the past hurt and allowed me to talk it out and slowly release all the pain.

I further felt that now is the day to let it go- really go, and move on. I am amazed at the patience and tenderness that God has shown me and I am so very grateful for His love and forgiveness and mercy.

You may recall my love for kingfishers and how God used to make sure I saw them whenever they came for a feed. I call them "love glances"

Fast track to an hour ago as I was preparing lunch. I happened to look out of the glass door from where we feed the birds in the garden. There was a black and white kingfisher! A love glance!

My heart burst with love for God and happiness that He still loved me in spite of my many failings! It was just what I needed to lift my spirits... and today like many times before, I cried.

Tears of gratitude and joy and a deeper joy in my spirit replaced the tears of pain and frustration of the last few weeks.

Finding Jesus is not finding religion- it is having a relationship with God and I am very pleased to report that God met His daughter's emotional needs mightily, for He glanced at me in a personal way that made me cry the happiest of tears!

He said, “I am the Lord, the Lord. I am the God who is tender and kind. I am gracious. I am slow to get angry. I am faithful and full of love. Exodus 34:6

A warm embrace.

I owe myself an apology.
For all the times I promised to forgive myself, only to bring it up again later.

For clipping the wings of my own dreams before they even had a chance to take flight.

For thinking so little of myself at the very moments I should have been standing up for myself.

For the lies I swallowed while starving for truth.

For believing that all the glass I walked on as a child was ever my fault.

For withholding from myself the same grace and second chances I so freely give others.

For allowing the world to convince me that my heart was both too much and not enough.

For all the days wasted pretending to be someone I hoped you would accept.

For not living my life more on my own terms, simply because I was afraid of making a mistake.

For punishing myself for far too long.

For believing love was bloody and painful, and that I didn’t deserve better.

For every time I looked in the mirror and hated who I saw.

I could sit here listing every reason and way I was wronged by others, but maybe more than anything, I owe myself an apology for not valuing this one, beautifully precious life of mine enough to know I’m worthy of greatness, the very best of everything.

And for that, I am sorry. Author unknown

I cried when I read this. I had a very traumatic and abusive childhood. At sixteen, I got engaged and became pregnant soon after, and married a man who started abusing me badly before the ink had dried on the marriage certificate.

I doted on my children for in them I saw someone who would love me.

In spite of the abuse, I stayed with him for the children's sake. At least they would have a happy childhood.

I hated myself because I was taught that I was unloveable and nothing I did pleased anyone anyway.

And now, looking back on my life, I realise that I took on too much, trying to make sure that no one else suffered the pain I felt from childhood until today.

My present husband is loving... however two of my four children are not. Some of my grandchildren love me and half don't.

And now at 71 years, I realise that it doesn't matter. I am happy in my own skin. Loved by some and especially loved by God.

Nothing was my fault in spite of being blamed for everything that went wrong all my life.

And so, I have learned to comfort the little girl who sought love and peace and who learned the 91st Psalm and prayed it every night to get to sleep.

It was not my fault that my mother took out her frustrations on me, hating that I was actually quite strong and therefore was a threat to her subjugation of us all.

And now, I have decided to forgive those who made me feel inadequate, unloved and stupid.I am too old and sick to carry that burden anymore...

The past has gone far too quickly- I cannot ruin my final years dragging that chain of regret and unforgiveness.

And as I forgave my parents and ex-husband for their abuse, I found a calm and peace as the burden was lifted off my shoulders.

And looking at my reflection in the mirror, I realised that I had to also forgive my younger self for not being stronger and more resilient. I hated her when she was in fact strong and I feel sad that I let her bear the brunt of hate and disrespect for as long as she did...

The reflection in the mirror looked back at me, and smiled and accepted my forgiveness...and my love.

I wrapped my arms around myself and embraced her warmly....

"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.." Psalm 91... words that comforted my younger self...

Safe under His wings

Everyone knows the world has become a crazy place to live in. But in our moments of fear or danger, God gives us the promise of His heart felt and constant protection and care.

I used to be afraid at night as a child due to my father's alcoholism, and at a very young age, I memorised Psalm 91. Snuggling under my blankets, I would pray the Psalm to stop the fear...

Today, I still cling to the LORD for His protection and for His comfort. I picture myself under His wings as I find refuge from the trials and fears in the life.

In this present day of wars and worry, it is critical that we read our bibles and pray. There's a lot of deception and only the LORD can direct us to truth...

Learn and read Psalm 91... and take heart in Deuteronomy 33:12 You will be safe under His wings.

"The beloved of the Lord shall dwell in safety by Him, Who shelters him all the day long; And he shall dwell between His shoulders." Deuteronomy 33:12

Let it go

As you know, I suffer from PTSD from a traumatic abusive childhood and my first marriage full of violence. It is not easy to get over, but it is possible.

I used to agonise over why it was so and why me and it would literally sap me of any joy in life now.

25 years of marriage with my present husband has shown me that life can be wonderful and that I am loveable.

It was only through realising that it didn't matter "why and why me?" were destroying the present joy that I decided to leave it in the past. I let it go..

My peace is palpable and my joy is deep since I let it go. I cried it out and prayed about it and the LORD filled me with peace.

Let it go.. give it to God and then get up, and move forward. Your mental state effects your physical, and spiritual.

Letting the past go will see you enjoy a much better and victorious life.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

Kingdom Words

When I was young growing up in a house of alcoholics I often heard profanities and swearing. Even at a young age, I hated it and grew up to be anxious hearing it.

With their sobriety, however temporary, came a respite from words of filth and it was a welcome time of reasonable peace.

Later on in my first marriage, I was the target of abusive filthy comments punctuated by blasphemies. It was soul destroying. I longed for the peace that wholesome words brought.

The words of the world, especially of the base world where God is not a holy word, but a blasphemed expletive, and people are described in terms that would make a sailor blush- do not edify, but bring the hearers down.

Words are so powerful and can be used for good or evil. They can be as sharp as a sword, piercing through one's heart, remembered for all time. Or they can be a soothing balm.

The scriptures tell us the power of words are so effective that we are to choose our words wisely, edifying and building up only. We are to have kindness on our tongue at all times.

The words we speak will show what is in our heart and soul. We will be judged for every idle word we have ever spoken.

Words that uplift us and that calm us and give us peace are what I term "Kingdom Words"...

Let's think of that peace by reading some Kingdom Words in the Bible, of which there are thousands. I have selected a few for illustration...

grace, forgiveness, mercy, love, justice, righteousness, holiness, kindness, honesty, peace, hope, joy, faithfulness, gentleness, humility...

Let us cultivate our speech to be a blessing to the hearers and let us train ourselves to reject the use of questionable and hateful language.. Let "Kingdom Words" have dominion in our vocabulary and bless others with them.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Proverbs 18:21

Only God can change your man!

My childhood was not a really good one. My father was an alcoholic and Mum's brother who lived with us was also one. Anger and domestic violence were our lot, especially on weekends.

My mother particularly hated drink and was a tea-totaller herself. I wondered why she married Dad as they were not really well suited. But I think Mum made the fatal mistake of thinking that her love would be stronger than the alcohol and that she would change him after they were married.

Unfortunately, the alcohol was stronger than his love for her, and Mum became a vicious shrew to him and us children.

The more Mum tried to change Dad, the more he rebelled and I can still remember him sitting in his armchair in the lounge room. He would look thoughtfully at the glass of beer he was holding and say loudly, 'I am what I am!' and Mum would taunt him by singing "Nowhere man!" to him. We would then have to flee late at night with Dad throwing beer bottles at us as we frantically ran down the street.

I know God can miraculously deliver people from alcoholism, but unfortunately Dad only gave it up when he had open heart surgery at the tender age of 50. He died six weeks later...

I didn't pick up on the red flags in my own hasty marriage in 1969. At the tender age of 16 I got engaged, became pregnant and married two months later. It was a marriage that nearly didn't take place.

As I said, I should have seen the red flags: the cruelty to animals, the bashing of homosexuals: (before I met him, but he bragged about it), the talking over me, and the strong will that was overbearing. Well, I think I did see those flags, as after a particularly nasty argument, I decided I would break the engagement.

I was a little hesitant to do that because my period was late. I broke my parents' hearts when I told them the result was positive and they offered me a view options.

They would arrange an abortion: no way would I abort a child. Besides, I was hoping that my child perhaps would love *this* love-starved child.

They would keep the child and raise it as their own: they would have to be kidding- I was already planning the nursery in a home where there would be peace. After all, love would conquer all once we were married...

Or they would arrange a hasty marriage... that was the option I took.

But there was no peace, for no sooner had the confetti blown away than the abuse started and when I lost those twin girls six months later, I cried for the babies dying and for the mess I was in.

My marriage lasted 25 long years and I had plenty of time to realise that love does not conquer all. It is far better to stay single than be with the wrong person.

If you can't respect him or condone what he does prior to marriage, don't marry him! People do not usually change just because you marry them or you have a child.

Look carefully before you enter into marriage and never think you will have the power to change your husband after you become his wife.

We are his wife first, not his mother. Wives accept their husbands as they are, they don't train him.

Don't marry him if you have any doubts and think you can change him after, because only God can change your man!

He delivereth me from mine enemies: yea, thou liftest me up above those that rise up against me: thou hast delivered me from the violent man. Psalm 18:48

Kingdom Words