Searching for some spoons

                                          

So Chris wasn't feeling well, so we didn't get out yesterday. I ordered $30 worth of groceries through Woolworths online. We have to pick them up at 1pm. It's so handy to shop like that. After that I need to get some prescriptions made up and go to the Post Office.

I managed to do all those dishes yesterday, with just last night's pots and pans to wash today. Tonight I will shower. If I do it this morning, I will run out of spoons and won't make it for the errands later.

It's hard searching for spoons and finding none, knowing that you have to do certain errands like shopping and getting medicines. And the tricky thing is when you find some, they disappear before you can put them to good use, and you find you need to take a nana nap just to accomplish it.

I know with talking to other Fibromites that I am not alone, as having no spoons seems to be a typical symptom of fibromyalgia. So for the next few hours before I pick up the groceries, you know where I'll be: searching for some spoons.

It's a pain in the neck

 

Lately I have been trying to keep off the computer. I have had a horrid fibromyalgia flare and I suspect along with neck and shoulder pain, I have also got TMJ and polymyalgia rheumatica back as well.

We  recently sold our GMC Sierra ute and with no more vehicles needing a driveway to park on, we have turned our attention to finding another rented home. It has proven to be a nightmare.

There are not many affordable homes to rent and we find we are vying with up to 20 different people at a viewing, all hoping to get the same property. It is terribly stressful.

I think the stress has exacerbated my fibromyalgia. I have been clenching my jaw and this has seen my TMJ return. Without a blood test to check ESR creatines and so on, I can't say that my PMR has returned, but judging from the pain and inability to raise my arms, I would not be surprised.

I have done 5 loads of washing and dryed it in the dryer as it's too painful to hang it outside. I have run the dishwasher and been to the chemist to pick up my Januvia for my diabetes. Just that small bit of work has exhausted me. My spoons have left the building.

Lately I have been thinking it isn't worth moving, but the possums in the roof wake me up with their thumpings and scratchings and the cold weather has meant that central heating is calling my name and beckoning me to a newer more modern abode.

Just typing to you has stirred up all my sore muscles, and it's traveled down my arm. So I will be taking some paracetamol Osteo soon and maybe I'll be having a nana nap.

Fibromyalgia, PMR or plain arthritis makes for a bad day by any name. Whatever ails me, it boils down to the fact that today, it's a pain in the neck. 

 

And the icing on the cake is...

Friday we went to the chemist and were treated to a cup of tea behind the counter. In between customers, we chatted and caught up. 

We were amongst the first of their customers and we have gone solely to them and rejoiced with them as their business grew. 

We don't go out much, and he and his wife know this. They are lovely people and we will miss them if we find a new rental- so much so, that we have decided we will still go to them for our prescriptions. 

Thanking them for their hospitality, they asked us to call in every Friday for coffee. Well, it looks like Fridays will be script days!   

In saying that, it will depend on whether my fibromyalgia allows me to travel. There are days when I just want to stay home as my spoons are few. But  just knowing that whenever we do see them, we will be welcome and missed is precious.

It does get lonely sometimes here. It's nice to have friends. The icing on the cake is that they are Christians! 

We have gone mad!

It may seem strange to some, but even in the worst pain, you will find me playing Candy Crush in an effort to distract my mind from the pain.

The rheumatologist suggested to my daughter who suffers from fibromyalgia and pain post chemo, to use it as a distraction from the pain. She was one of these mind over matters kind of doctors. We were not very optimistic to be honest.

As a sufferer of not only fibromyalgia but ankylosing spondylitis, spinal canal stenosis coupled with bad arthitis and angina, I thought it may help me. It helps a little. But Tramadol would be better!

My doctor won't let me have them. Even though he knows I only take them as required for high pain days like today.   He gave it to me when my second knee tore and it helped my fibro pain so much. Then he closed shop!  

I  know there have  been many who abused pain-killers but when  basic pain relief is available only with a chemist's approval such as Panadol with codeine, it makes life more difficult for the person like myself,  to get any relief at all. 

With fibro flaring and another episode of polymyalgia rheumatica, I have been tempted to take some of my Prednisolone, but I am worried about the side effects. I tell you truly, I am feeling desperate.

So even though you may see me playing Candy Crush or online a lot, I can honestly say that it's for  medicinal purposes. I will be a Candy Crush addict any day if it will relieve the pain.

Just don't tell the do-gooders. If they think we are liable to become addicts, they'll make FB take it off their site! You fellow pain sufferers know they will. We have gone mad in our correctness!

You can say that again

So today we have shopped online but most of the food we ordered was unavailable. So we took a trip to Aldi  and managed to get  meat,  chicken and cat food.  Most products are being limited now.  There are distribution shortages of staff due to Covid. 

There's a four hour queue to get tested or one can do a Rapid Antigen Test at home, but there's a shortage of tests and it's very difficult to get one. People who can't get tested are isolating and missing out on work just in case they are positive.

Our Prime Minister suggested that as most Australians will test positive soon so he told us to make sure we have paracetamol aka Panadol on hand so that we can manage symptoms at home. (Lotsa luck with that one!) So people went out and stripped all pharmacies and supermarkets of all brands of paracetamol. 

To top it all off for me is that once again, my antidepressants haven't made it off the wharves. They don't know when they will be available again. So it's lucky that I have extra Panadol on hand for my fibromyalgia and an extra box of antidepressants. I am so grateful to the Proverbs 31 wife in scripture who was always prepared and laughs at the time to come. 

A past Prime Minister of ours once famously quoted that life wasn't meant to be easy. You can say that again. 

I am blessed

 

After a horrid day with pain from my fibromyalgia and arthritis, I gratefully sank into bed, pulling my soft minkie blankets over me.

As is my custom before sleeping, I prayed and thanked God for the good things of the day. And as I started to pray, the blessings of the day kept on coming.

I was and am thankful and grateful for so many things which truthfully are more abundant than the horrid things that make up my life of chronic illness.

The warmth of my bed and the softness of my blankets, the feather down pillow that allowed me to adjust it to just the right way to support my sore neck and shoulder muscles and the light that shone softly at my bedside all soothed and nurtured me. 

The outside light shone through the star shapes in my drapes, and the little stars lit up the room and danced across my bed as my chest moved in breaths and sighs of contentment. My little cat snuggled up beside me. We were both content.

How blessed I am to be able to lay my head down to rest in peace. So many the world over do not have that luxury. 

My soft minkie pajamas caressed my skin, soothing it and unlike other clothing, did not make me itch in a way that started an itchy frenzy. Only the Fibromite who suffers from constant itch would be grateful for that.

As I gave thanks for all those things, I remembered the labour saving devices I have been blessed to own, and along with that, I gave thanks for the many convenience foods and products that make my life as a Sacrificial Home Keeper easier. Not for the first time, I thanked God for allowing me to live in a country where these products are available.

I am grateful for the convenience of online banking, shopping and grocery purchases. Many a day finds me with limited spoons and I do not feel inclined to leave my home.

And when I have to get repeat prescriptions made up, I am grateful that I have an app that allows me to order them and pick them up later...

Our little country home nurtures us and gives me many comforts for which I am also grateful. And as the happy relaxed thoughts overtook me, I drifted into sleep, glad and secure that I am the LORD'S and He will be there tomorrow to bless me and console me as I walk the lonely painful path of chronic illness and pain.

There's nothing that can compare to counting one's gifts of love from the LORD. I am blessed. And grateful.

 

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks

 

For thus says the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel: “ In returning and rest you shall be saved; In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.”  Isaiah 30:15