It's all I can do this year!

So I did a thing that stripped me of what little spoons I had. I took a shower and went to click and collect a few Christmas gifts I ordered on line.

I came home and cooked dinner and had a bad asthma attack. I couldn't breathe properly. Chris tidied up the kitchen for me and I sat down for a while until I felt better.

The Mother of all Fibro Flares has paid me a visit. I ache everywhere and feel too exhausted even to talk. It is nearly 11am here and I am ready to go to bed. I will have a nana nap.

You just have to listen to your body in times like this. Hopefully I will wake up with some spoons Christmas Day.

As we now have a large enough home for guests, we will be hosting Christmas this year. I am having a simple traditional meal and that's all...

I am too pooped to worry a great deal about Christmas this year. We have bought a few things online and that will have to do. Sometimes you just have to rest your tired twinkle! 

Apart from cancelling Christmas, it's all I can do this year!. 

Resting my tired twinkle

So I did a thing that stripped me of what little spoons I had. I took a shower and went to click and collect a few Christmas gifts I ordered on line.

I came home and cooked dinner and had a bad asthma attack. I couldn't breathe properly. Chris tidied up the kitchen for me and I sat down for a while until I felt better.

The Mother of all Fibro Flares has paid me a visit. I ache everywhere and feel too exhausted even to talk. It is nearly 9pm here and I am ready to go to bed. 

You just have to listen to your body in times like this. Hopefully tomorrow I will wake up with some spoons.

After 6 months of not seeing my little granddaughter, Taylah, we are picking her up Friday and having her for a few days. I just have to be well enough for that. We have missed each other. Fortunately she is nearly 10 years old, so she doesn't need a lot of care.

I am too pooped to worry a great deal about Christmas this year. We have bought a few things online and that will have to do. Sometimes you just have to rest your tired twinkle! 

Giving in is not giving up!

Yesterday I came to the realisation that my fibromyalgia is not going to get any better. Nor is my diabetes, hole in the heart, back pain, angina, asthma or torn meniscus. 

My blood sugars are also high, but not as high as Chris's, but it is a warning to me as well. I certainly do not want to go through what Chris is going through with trying to get the right amount of insulin and the horrid symptoms he endures.

My hole in the heart means my right lung is not oxygenating properly and because I need a fourth stent which I have refused (another story), I have constant stable angina. And asthma on exertion.

My blood pressure is high as the pain from my back and torn meniscus in my knee is bad. Finally, with Chris being ill now, my depression is back. I hurt when he is hurting.

Like any Sacrificial Home Keeper, I am trying to keep my home clean and tidy and here I too am failing. I see no end to it...

I was talking to my twin sister yesterday and she said that it is possible to get a bit of subsidised home help through the Australian Government's Age Care plan. So I applied and am going to be assessed tomorrow. I am eligible, as I am now 67 and my husband is 70  and is unable to do housework with me.

I can do some housework if it is waist level: dishes, cooking, washing, dusting. But I cannot even sweep let alone vacuum or wash my floors, as my tendons and muscles scream for mercy with my fibromyalgia and my back joins in sympathy, followed by angina and asthma. So basically I need someone to clean my floors and to change our bed.

As a woman who has been a house keeper since 1969 and brought up five children, it really galls me that I have to admit that I cannot maintain my own home by myself anymore. 

So, I am giving in trying to keep up like before when I was well. But I still will be doing meal planning, grocery shopping (online),  cooking, cleaning my kitchen including dishes, bill paying and budgeting, washing, ironing as needed, refilling prescriptions, social planning and gift buying, looking after Xena our cat, and most importantly, looking after Chris's and my health.

In saying I am giving in trying to be strong like before, I am not giving up: one way or another, my home will be clean! 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent. Psalm 71:9

It's not just me!

I am not the sort of person who sits taking her pulse all the time, but since this Corona Virus outbreak, that has changed.

Now every time I cough or feel wheezy, I freak- am I hot? no. Do I have a sore throat? no. Honestly, I am over myself!

But truly, it's not just about me, though goodness knows, I don't want Rona. But I don't want to share it- not with Chris or anyone else.

I have been a little wheezy the last few days and the doggy in the pic is what I look like. But honestly, if it wasn't for this current situation, I wouldn't think twice about it. I have been wheezy like that many times.

Poor Chris gets The Look when he wants a kiss. Do I risk it? even if it's a one in a million chance that I have got Rona? He says he doesn't care and we kiss. Then I feel anxious. Even though the chance that I would test positive is about the same as me winning the lottery! 

When I am FaceTiming my kids and I cough: this is the look they give me!  And that's just on the phone! 

Rona's got us all bluffed and anxious and I know I am not alone. But meanwhile, I take my pulse and temperature and reassure everyone who Skypes me that I am OK.

Then I cough, and this wall comes up along with eyebrows and I see once again: they too are anxious and it's not just me! 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Come, my people, enter your chambers, And shut your doors behind you; Hide yourself, as it were, for a little moment, Until the indignation is past. Isaiah 26:20

What to do when fear's gone viral

So, there's hardly a person alive today who hasn't heard of the Corona Virus. With the internet spewing its' fear over us and then word of mouth, it is by far the most heard of influenza virus of our time! And the fear of this virus has gone viral.

I won't lie to you that I haven't been afraid of contracting the virus. I have. I also have many co-morbidities that preclude me having a quick recovery, or even recovering. 

For starters, I am a senior woman. I have a very weak heart that requires yet another stent to join my three already placed there thirteen years ago. A hole in the heart means that my right lung in particular is not oxygenating properly. I am asthmatic and have weakened lungs because of having had pneumonia three times. Plus I have diabetes 2 and am obese. All these co-morbidities do not bode well for me if I were to contract the Corona Virus.

So you can guess that I have been fearful of it. So much so that I locked myself in my study and spent a couple of hours before the LORD in confession and prayer. And I came out of that room a changed woman spiritually.

How have I changed in such a short time? you ask. Because I momentarily lost sight of who I am in relation to God, and more importantly, Who He is. 

He is sovereign and I am His Child. He even calls me "friend". 

Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you. 

He has promised never to leave me nor forsake me Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I  will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5

My life is in His Hands and it is His good pleasure to either stop me getting this virus or taking me Home. I briefly forgot this important fact. 

We are told not to be anxious and it is very hard not to be. So what do we do? 

1. We confess our fear
2. We repent of fear
3. We look at the promises of God
4. We praise God for His promises and
5. We believe He will keep them
6. We worship God
7. We praise Him
8. We refute fearful thoughts

Now as a woman with post-traumatic stress disorder, panic/anxiety disorder and plain bad nerves, I know how hard it is to stay calm in the current situation. But, I am here to tell you that it can be done. But you must take the time to actually go to God and place your fears at His feet. Then look up!

Make a practice of refuting fearful thoughts and force yourself to think of your blessings. Claim God's promises for you as His Child. He's not going to push you away because you are afraid. And by His Blood, He has provided a way out of sin. It's called grace! 

Read the scriptures, listen to uplifting worship music. Watch uplifting podcasts of your favourite sermons. Go outside and listen to the birds or look at the stars. Be assured that you are of more value than a sparrow and that God has you in the palm of His Hand.

Finally, take a break from social media, watching the News and reading the newspapers. The media are to blame a lot for us being so nervous and have caused panic buying. 

These are some things I have put into effect in my own home and are some suggestions of what to do when fear's gone viral...

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

When I was a small child and lived in fear, I learned Psalm 91 off by heart and would recite it to help myself go to sleep... it still calms my pounding heart...  have a read for yourself and take it to heart:

"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day, nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for destruction that wasteth at noonday. A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee. Only with thine yes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked. Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation; there shall no evil befall thee. Neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling." Psalm 91:1-10 

Why I love doonas!

Chris and I love our doona or duvet. We don't worry with a top sheet and because I am in and out of bed during the day, I usually just pull it up as we get in at night. It is allowed to air during the day: as soon as I get out of it, I pull the doona back. Now I find another reason to love my doona. Untidy beds may keep us healthy. House dust mites are linked to asthma. Failing to make your bed in the morning may actually help keep you healthy, scientists believe.

Research suggests that while an unmade bed may look scruffy it is also unappealing to house dust mites thought to cause asthma and other allergies.

A Kingston University study discovered the bugs cannot survive in the warm, dry conditions found in an unmade bed.

The average bed could be home to up to 1.5 million house dust mites.

The bugs, which are less than a millimetre long, feed on scales of human skin and produce allergens which are easily inhaled during sleep.

The warm, damp conditions created in an occupied bed are ideal for the creatures, but they are less likely to thrive when moisture is in shorter supply.

Researcher Dr Stephen Pretlove said: "We know that mites can only survive by taking in water from the atmosphere using small glands on the outside of their body.

"Something as simple as leaving a bed unmade during the day can remove moisture from the sheets and mattress so the mites will dehydrate and eventually die."

In the next stage of their research, the scientists are putting mite pockets into beds in 36 houses around the United Kingdom to test their computer model and will investigate how people's daily routines affect mite populations.

Building features such as heating, ventilation and insulation will also be altered to monitor how the mites cope.

Dr Pretlove said the research had the potential to reduce the £700m spent treating mite-induced illnesses each year in the UK.

"Our findings could help building designers create healthy homes and healthcare workers point out environments most at risk from mites."

Dr Matt Hallsworth, of the charity Asthma UK, said: 'House-dust mite allergen can be an important trigger for many people with asthma, but is notoriously difficult to avoid."

Professor Andrew Wardlaw, of the British Society for Allergy and Clinical Immunology, agreed.

He said: "Mites are very important in asthma and allergy and it would be good if ways were found to modifiy the home so that mite concentrations were reduced.

"It is true that mites need humid conditions to thrive and cannot survive in very dry (desert like) conditions. from the BBC

It certainly makes bedmaking easy for us sacrificial homekeepers, isn't it?

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom. Psalm 90:12