I am not "normal"

We chronically ill women try so hard to do "normal" things. Like look well. Be cheerful. Be patient. Kind. Hospitable.

Our family and marriage are our first priority after God. We try so hard to spin our wheel not fast- but at a "normal" pace. By "normal", we compare ourselves to those who do not suffer from chronic illness and pain. Or are disabled.

We are very careful to keep serving our family but sometimes with the illness that afflicts us: we fail. This often gets to us and causes us to sink into depression.

Being unable to process that we simply can't act as "normals", we often berate ourselves and sink into the Pit of Despair. 

We are often judged by "normal" standards, as we simply cannot attend certain social functions like before. If we do, the pain and effort can make us tense and we can make us appear moody unsociable grumps aka the death head at the feast. 

If only "normals" would realise that we are pushing ourselves every day to live a life that not even closely is "normal" like in the days before our health failed. We get so adept at doing this, that we have become quite good at wearing masks to cover the Mask Of Pain. Hence the appearance of being in a mood. 

My fibromyalgia and other health issues have now made it impossible for me to disguise, and I have learned to acknowledge this to people and tell them in advance that my attendance or action or whatever is totally subject to how I am on any given day.

Basically, I have had to pander to angina, spinal problems, fibromyalgia, polymyalgia rheumatica, and submit to tyrannical spoons by being totally flexible about my appointments and so on.

People may still misjudge me but that is not my problem. I just pray that the LORD will allow them to see that I am not lazy or unsociable, but am just a chronically ill woman who finds just breathing some days enough effort.

The LORD knows I am not well, but people take a lot more convincing. I am not "normal".

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks    

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;  Colossians 3:12

A marriage made in Heaven

 

So today is our 23rd wedding anniversary. I am so pleased to tell you that in spite of it being a bumpy ride sometimes owing to family illnesses and drama, we are still very much in love- and grateful to the LORD.

We both believe God brought us together, and it is no coincidence that two weeks after we both prayed for a partner, we met.

I had been living alone for three years after divorcing my violent ex-husband and for the last few months before meeting Chris, I had gone out with a girlfriend I met at Business College. It was easier for us both to go out together, rather than a woman by herself.

Longing for a husband, I remember praying to God and asking Him to find a mate for me. I was feeling desperately alone and I wore that loneliness like a cloak of gloom over my shoulders. In this prayer, I asked God to help me enjoy my life if it was His will that I remain single.

Rising up from my knees, I felt a sense of hope and purpose, and although the prayer was just uttered, I felt happier and more content. Anyway, back to my friend. 

This friend was very hospitable and we often shared a meal at each other's home. She had car problems, and as Chris had been an Automobile Association Road Patrolman in England, and a Royal Automobile Club Victoria Road Patrolman here in Australia, she thought she would ask him to come have a look at it and stay for dinner.

She asked me if I minded if Chris came for dinner, and as I had decided to make more friends and enjoy my singleness, I said that was fine and thought nothing more about it until that evening.

So when I arrived for dinner, Chris was already there and he was seated in the kitchen. I know it is cliche, but it was love at first sight. We were engaged in 2 months and married a year later.

To this day, Chris insists it was a set up, but I can honestly say it wasn't an earthly setup, but we believe it was a heavenly appointment.

As it turned out, Chris came home from work and was feeling alone and despondent. He too wanted a wife- someone to love him, and he prayed. His prayer was almost identical to mine and we worked out it was at about the same time! 

Such was the chemistry between us that our courtship and engagement was a whirlwind romance! We knew it was the LORD'S doing. 

From day one, I have been at Chris's side, working as his jockey in his Courier business. We got to know each other very well and have literally been inseparable. 

We were married in the Melbourne Registry Office 27th June 1998, and renewed our vows with pastors three years ago after my ex-husband passed. This was to include the LORD officially in our marriage as the Registry Office wedding was very quick and clinical. 

We did not get to recite our own vows or include the LORD which was a disappointment to us. So we made it right, even though we lived out our marriage with Him included from day one. 

So today we both reflect on the rapidity of those 24 years since we met and our 23 years of marriage, and we see the LORD'S Hand in it. We have weathered many a storm, yet the good ship Hicks is still very much afloat. 

God has healed us of past hurts in our first marriages: I have learned that there are good kind men in the world and Chris has learned that there are women who love their husbands and are faithful to their vows. 

With grateful hearts, we bless and thank the LORD for His goodness and compassion to us in giving us a marriage made in Heaven.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. Isaiah 30:18

Making memories

There's widespread flooding everywhere today.  One of the roads is impassable still. Fortunately, we are staying home today as we have guests coming this afternoon.

With all the thunder and weather changes, it is playing havoc with my fibromyalgia flare. I am in considerable pain today and I long for a nana nap already: it's only 1pm!

So far I have done a load of washing and am using the dryer. We have had breakfast. Xena has been fed. I will soon be making a ham and cheese toasted sandwich for our lunch. We will be having a big meal for tea tonight.

I am following Saturdays' List as I plan to go to church tomorrow. 

Still on my to do list is:

1. Lunch
2. Change over the washed clothes and put in dryer
3. Cook the defrosting chicken for our roast dinner

I am really looking forward to having my guests come, but I am forcing myself not to go back to bed.

The struggle is real. But I feel if I don't practice hospitality and have people come see us, that my life will be the poorer for it. 

So today, I am taking some paracetamol tablets with my toasted sandwich, and pretending I am having a good day. It's all part of making memories...

Cleanliness is next to godliness...

I have a vivid imagination and I love looking at artwork. Sometimes the works just speak to my soul, as is the case with the above artwork.The beauty of the table at the Marriage Supper Of The Lamb spoke to me. The beautiful china, glasses and cutlery, the immaculate table cloth, the perfectly set table thrilled my soul and tantalised my imagination....

As I gazed at the picture, I wondered how we would have reacted if the table hadn't been set properly- you know, like we sometimes do at home? Would a spotted and wrinkled table cloth have the power to draw us into thoughts of heaven and our marriage supper with Christ? How about spots on the glasses and coffee stains in the cups? Honestly, I think it would be a turn off!

I think a less than perfect table and setting would be dishonouring to God.... for like it or not, housekeeping does reflect on the home keeper, for better or worse.There is an old proverb that says that cleanliness is next to godliness...and I think to a certain extent that that is true....

We should endeavour to have our homes clean and comfortable for they not only reflect on ourselves, but also they point to our heart and faith....

A bit extreme! you say? I don't think so. If we are honest with ourselves, don't we silently think less of a woman who lives in filth or dirt? And when that woman is a Christian, don't we wonder about her relationship with Christ if she cannot fulfil her obligations as a homemaker?

I know this to be true, because just such a woman once hosted a Bible Class morning with her home almost making us retch as we sat amongst her doggy smelling carpet and armchairs full of dog fur. Not to mention the kitty litter tray wafting its reek from the nearby laundry.

Offering to help her was not an option as this woman had been helped repeatedly by Sisters in her cell or home group, but never kept up the good work that the Sisters did. She was too busy reading books- Christian books at that.

I believe that this showed a lack of discipline and also a rebellion in doing something she did not want to do: in this case, her housework. My poor Sisters were left feeling slightly used and annoyed. They had cleaned the house a week ago and it should still have been reasonably clean.....

Cleanliness is something we all take for granted....and it is something that isn't noticed until we neglect it. But because cleanliness is symptomatic of our heart attitude and efforts, it also reflects on our walk with the LORD.

Cleanliness is next to godliness as the (non biblical) proverb goes, and reflects on our witness and relationship with God. Let's try to keep our homes and ourselves clean enough to not bring shame on us and dishonour to God!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"Depart ye, depart ye, go ye out from thence, touch no unclean [thing]; go ye out of the midst of her; be ye clean, that bear the vessels of the LORD". Isaiah 52:11

Our Master Chef

I am not the world's best cook, and I often hate preparing meals, especially so when entertaining. Often at these times, I think of how caring Jesus was in making sure people had refreshment and nourishment. Making bread and fish multiply to feed thousands. Turning water into wine. Cooking fish for his disciples.

Then I think of how far short I sometimes come in my attitude to caring for others and in being hospitable. It would behove me to think of Him as I ask myself the inevitable question on what to cook for dinner...and to train myself to be grateful for my food as I cook and eat it...

It is sobering to remember that the Son of God Who left the glories of Heaven, didn't think He was above the noble pursuit of cooking and serving meals to others...

Jesus tells us that He will serve food and drink to us when He takes us to Heaven: what a mind blowing experience that will be... Something we can ponder on and look forward to as we labour in our own kitchens... Jesus our Saviour and Master Chef! 

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks 

“Blessed are those servants whom the master, when he comes, will find watching. Assuredly, I say to you that he will gird himself and have them sit down to eat, and will come and serve them". Luke 12:39

Let's talk hospitality

Just recently I was invited to a friend's home.  I came home feeling sad and I had to work out why.  I reflected on the visit and realised that my friend just wasn't a people person- she was more interested in things than people. It started at the front door just under the "Welcome Friends" sign- another sign demanding that I remove my shoes. OK I thought, as I took them off, I don't want to trample any dirt inside- I can live with that!

I was greeted by my friend who I noted had already checked that I was in stocking feet. She ushered me into the immaculate kitchen which smelt slightly of bleach. (I must confess I was hoping to smell cake or coffee though) We exchanged greetings, launched into some conversation whilst she wiped her shining sink, shaking her dishcloth in her hand as she emphasised a point in the conversation. After my friend made a drink for us, I started to relax- until she started wiping up around me. It was hard to make eye contact with her as she was washing the cups and wiping round her white kettle. But I guess the clincher came when I had finished using her bathroom. She went in after me, wiping down the few drops of water on the hand basin and straightening her embroidered towels.

I started to feel unwanted and decided to make tracks for home. But before that, I was taken for a grand tour of her spotless home- which was indeed not lacking any thing- except the love and friendship shown through hospitality. As I pondered on these things, I resolved that our next visit would be at my home.

She could take her shoes off if she wishes, I will have a cake waiting for her and I will give her my full attention whilst I serve her coffee in my lived-in lounge room. She can leave a few drops of water in the hand basin after she uses my bathroom and if she wishes she can have a look at my home- beds pulled up hastily, cushions squashed slightly from where we sat on the couch, cups waiting on the sink counter to be washed after she left and most of all- a feeling that she mattered more than my things do to me. Isn't that what it's all about after all?

Hospitality doesn't die through imperfect housekeeping but cannot exist in sterile surroundings lacking love and friendship. My friend's heart was choked with things and far from me.. I resolve to never be like that. I relaxed and started to plan our next visit as I sought out my cookery book. She likes banana cake I recall.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"For as he thinketh in his heart, so [is] he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart [is] not with thee." Proverbs 23:7