Sex isn't everything


This picture reminds me of Chris and I in the kitchen... I often can be washing the dishes and he will come behind me for a cuddle.. I still blush and giggle like a school girl!  I usually go weak at the knees when he kisses the back of my neck, and I turn around and kiss him passionately.  Finally, we break away, breathless with romance and laughter!  Most times, he then pitches in and helps me finish washing up.

This little dalliance of ours to us is quite romantic and that coupled with the fact that Chris helps me with the dishes, makes me feel nurtured and happy- it doesn't take a lot for me! Which is good, because money is short for a lot of flowers and chocolates.

We do go out together for meals whenever we can salt away a little money.  Nothing too expensive, but we bring our own ambiance!  Just looking into each others' eyes and holding hands over the table reminds us of our early days together and keeps us focused on each other.  Truly, we do adore each other.

Because money is in short supply, and because we constantly laugh together and cuddle often, we feel that special occasions such as Christmas, birthdays and Valentines' Day aren't necessary to show affection and love. We in fact, do not buy gifts for these for each other. And it is perfectly fine with us. We do, however look at our wedding photos and reminisce a lot on our anniversary or any other date significant to us...

I think it may be the fact that we are an older married couple that makes it easier to see romance in ways that younger couples don't.  With age and fibromyalgia and heart and back problems and Chris with his diabetes, sex is either umcomfortable or impossible. So both Chris and I look forward to a bubble bath at home with a good back wash and nail trims or a foot or back massage.  We do that for each other on a regular basis. To us, nurture is romance!

Chris loves me bringing his breakfast into him in the morning. This to him is romantic and although his not buying me presents and sending me cards may seem that he is an unromantic man, nothing could be further from the truth.  He sings to me! We have some special songs that he says were written just for us, and he will play them on the computer, and take me in his arms and croon to me as we dance slowly round the living room.

Because I am often in hospital, Chris shows his care by staying with me most of the day until visiting hours are over, just stroking my hair and holding my hand. Or he will come with our laptop and headphones for me. My heart melts with love for him.  We can't stand to be away from each other.

Illness, medications, no spoons and age have curtailed our times of intimacy, but we manage to show love to each other in ways that are imaginative, erotic and very caring.  There is absolutely no thoughts of unmet needs- love can be expressed in ways other than full sexual intercourse, and we delight in each other regardless! If sex happens, it's a bonus!

So we don't care about no presents or cards for Christmas, or birthdays or Valentines' Day-  with the romantic sparks that still fly between us, and our little dalliances, every day is Valentines' Day. 

I thank God for Chris as I am one very blessed wife, and I tell him often.... he finds that very romantic too! We are proof that you can live without sex! Sex isn't everything!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life ... 1 Peter 3:7  this post has been written with my husbands' permission.

17 comments:

  1. What a sweet post. The title made me read it and I'm so glad I did. What you and Chris have is beautiful. It made my heart swell. The level of deep romance and intimacy you have with each other is necessary even when sex is present. Spending money and buying gifts is great, however, what you and Chris have is a shining example that a couple can still be deeply connected and enjoy sweet romance without it. May God continue to richly bless your union and knit you together in even deeper ways.

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    1. Thank you for those kind words, Yvonne. I am enjoying your videos. Blessings, Glenys

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  2. How very true. It's the little things and the attentions paid that make all the difference! #GlobalBlogging

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    1. Yes, and those little things are so important to keep the intimacy going when the physical act is not possible.Thanks for sharing a cuppa with me today.

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  3. hi i enjoy reading your blog and also stealing away. have you removed it. sorry to hear that . they were both enjoyable to read but i assume it is difficult to keep up with two blogs. please keep this one going. Ann

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    1. Hi Ann. Chris and I have decided to sell our fifth wheeler and we are currently looking to rent a house again. This is because of my problems with my joints and especially my torn meniscus. I cannot manage the steps and have literally become house bound. I will always keep MCWG going. Thanks for those kind words, Ann.

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  4. Just beautiful. I have been so blessed with connecting with my darling chap in such a similar way. We spend a lot of time apart with our work schedules but when we are together it is like no one else is on the same planet. Look forward to reading more of your posts.

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    1. Thank you for those kind words. People say that men don't crave romance, but I don't believe it to be true of all men. Nurture is romance and most men appreciate being nurtured and feeling loved. Thanks for sharing a cuppa with me today.

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  5. Beautiful! I/we completely agree with this statement in your post: "Nurture is romance!" It's so true! And sex or intimacy is so much more than merely physical! Great reminder and encouragement!

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    1. Thank you, Karrilee. I believe that sex is only truly satisfying with the extras of soul intimacy and nurture and love. Love is the magic binding ingredient that elevates the act of marriage from banal to sublime. Thanks for taking tea with me today.

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  6. Having a supportive and loving husband has helped me greatly deal with fibromyalgia.

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    1. I think too, living with us, they don't doubt that our pain and condition is real. They know it's a trial 24/7. We are blessed to have loving husbands. Thanks for sharing a cuppa with me today, Dee.

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  7. I love the sweet ways you show each other you care! #GlobalBlogging

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    1. I think being loving even when sex is possible is important. Sadly a lot of people think that sex is all there is in being loving. Thanks for taking a cuppa with me today, Heather.

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  8. This really struck a chord with me as someone who is chronically ill and lives with pain. Our marriage has had to change, but we try hard to make sure that hubby isn't purely my carer which is tricky at times. Thank you for writing this - I included this in my reg PainPalsblog share feature "Winter Wonderland.....Inspiring Blogs for You!" Claire

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    1. Claire, I am sorry you are suffering so. I hear you with making sure that our husband isn't purely our carer. Yes, it is tricky at times. Thank you for including my article in your blog and for sharing a cuppa with me today.

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Thank you for visiting with me today. I love to hear from you. I may not always be able to reply right away, but I will respond to every comment you leave. Blessings and comfort, Glenys

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