It's not about how fast we spin our wheel



We have RSV in our house and I am wiped out! Whether you have the flu or suffer like I do from fibromyalgia, you will have days where your body forces you to rest simply because you can't do anything else.

But that doesn't mean that resting will make it better. Nor does it guarantee that you will gather more spoons to use when you rise up from your sickbed.

When you are chronically ill, you don't get better and rest definitely doesn't leave you feeling refreshed and full of energy.

The most rest can do for us is give us a temporary respite from forcing ourselves way beyond  our comfort zone to serve our family.

Needing to rest can make those who don't understand chronic illness to make us become the victim of nasty retorts stating that we are lazy and putting it on in order to take to our bed. 

Being that fibromyalgia is one of many invisible illnesses, we are often maligned as malingers and the angst that this creates can cause us to become depressed as well as angry.

We didn't ask to be sick and most of us in fact push ourselves way beyond our comfort zone to prove to ourselves and others that we are not lazy.

I think as fibromyalgia is often a prolonged illness that we would do well to take thoughts of others directed at us to be taken into the captivity of Christ Who doesn't condemn us but Who loves us at all times. 

He understands and doesn't condemn us. We have to take His Word that He loves us as we are.

We need to learn to switch off from those who condemn and criticise us for taking frequent breaks and nana naps. We know we are doing the best we can and our worth is not about how fast we spin our wheel.


 © Glenys Robyn Hicks

 

Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him. With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation. -Psalm 91:14-16

A warm embrace.



I  owe myself an apology.

For all the times I promised to forgive myself, only to bring it up again later.

For clipping the wings of my own dreams before they even had a chance to take flight. 

For thinking so little of myself at the very moments I should have been standing up for myself.

For the lies I swallowed while starving for truth.

For believing that all the glass I walked on as a child was ever my fault.

For withholding from myself the same grace and second chances I so freely give others.

For allowing the world to convince me that my heart was both too much and not enough.

For all the days wasted pretending to be someone I hoped you would accept.

For not living my life more on my own terms, simply because I was afraid of making a mistake.

For punishing myself for far too long.

For believing love was bloody and painful, and that I didn’t deserve better.

For every time I looked in the mirror and hated who I saw.

I could sit here listing every reason and way I was wronged by others, but maybe more than anything, I owe myself an apology for not valuing this one, beautifully precious life of mine enough to know I’m worthy of greatness, the very best of everything.

And for that, I am sorry. Author unknown

I cried when I read this. I had a very traumatic and abusive childhood. At sixteen, I got engaged and became pregnant soon after, and married a man who started abusing me badly before the ink had dried on the marriage certificate.

I doted on my children for in them I saw someone who would love me.

In spite of the abuse, I stayed with him for the children's sake. At least they would have a happy childhood.

I hated myself because I was taught that I was unloveable and nothing I did pleased anyone anyway.

And now, looking back on my life, I realise that I took on too much, trying to make sure that no one else suffered the pain I felt from childhood until today.

My present husband is loving... however two of my four children are not. Some of my grandchildren  love me and half don't. 

And now at 71 years, I realise that it doesn't matter. I am happy in my own skin. Loved by some and especially loved by God.

Nothing was my fault in spite of being blamed for everything that went wrong all my life. 

And so, I have learned to comfort the little girl who sought love and peace and who learned the 91st Psalm and prayed it every night to get to sleep.

It was not my fault that my mother took out her frustrations on me, hating that I was actually quite strong and therefore was a threat to her subjugation of us all.

And now, I have decided to forgive those who made me feel inadequate, unloved and stupid.I am too old and sick to carry that burden anymore...

The past has gone far too quickly- I cannot ruin my final years dragging that chain of regret and unforgiveness.

And as I forgave my parents  and ex-husband for their abuse, I found a calm and peace as the burden was lifted off my shoulders.

And looking at my reflection in the mirror, I realised that I had to also forgive my younger self for not being stronger and more resilient. I hated her when she was in fact strong and I feel sad that I let her bear the brunt of hate and disrespect for as long as she did...

The reflection in the mirror looked back at me, and smiled and accepted my forgiveness...and my love.

I wrapped my arms around myself and embraced her warmly....



 © Glenys Robyn Hicks


"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide  under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I  trust.." Psalm 91... words that comforted my younger self...

God is not a man that He should lie

                                        



integrity
/ɪnˈtɛɡrɪti/
noun
  1. 1.
    the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.
    "a gentleman of complete integrity"
    Similar:
    honesty
    uprightness
    probity
    rectitude
    honour
    honourableness
    upstandingness
    good character
    principle(s)
    ethics
    morals
    righteousness
    morality
    nobility
    high-mindedness
    right-mindedness
    noble-mindedness
    virtue
    decency
    fairness
    scrupulousness
    sincerity
    truthfulness
    trustworthiness
    Opposite:
    dishonesty
  2. 2.
    the state of being whole and undivided.
    "upholding territorial integrity and national sovereignty"
    Similar:
    unity
    unification
    wholeness
    coherence
    cohesion
    undividedness
    togetherness
    solidarity
    coalition
    Opposite:
    division


It is uncharacteristic of the love God has for His people, that believers will be terrorised and punished alongside those who don't love Him in the Great Tribulation... Let scripture speak to us of God's great love for us... and His integrity and holiness

"Far be it from You to do such a thing— to kill the righteous with the wicked, so that the righteous & the wicked R-treated alike. Far be it from You! Will not the Judge of all the earth do what is right?” - Genesis 18:25

Then they that feared the LORD spake often one to another: and the LORD hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the LORD, and that thought upon his name.And they shall be mine, saith the LORD of hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels; and I will spare them, as a man spareth his own son that serveth him.Then shall ye return, and discern between the righteous and the wicked, between him that serveth God and him that serveth him not. Malachi 3:16-18

Because thou hast kept the word of my patience, I also will keep thee from the hour of temptation, which shall come upon all the world, to try them that dwell upon the earth. Revelation 3:10

Does this sound like a God Who would allow the righteous to be tormented in the Great Tribulation? I don't think so... Instead this God will gather His people safely to Himself and eat with us at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb.

To believe that Jesus would allow His Bride, the Church to be traumatised and beaten along with those who are the object of God's wrath, is to not understand the Love God has for His Children, His holiness or the depth of His integrity.

God is not a man that He should lie...

"God is not a man, that He should lie, Nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?" - Numbers 23:19 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

 

Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him. With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation. -Psalm 91:14-16