Is interracial marriage scriptural?

It is sad that there is world-wide prejudice amongst people of different race. White people are prejudiced about coloured people and vice versa. As Christians, this shouldn’t be for Christ died for all men. John 12:32 ‘and I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me.’ Romans 14:11 For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God." Yet despite this, we still have Christians who are prejudiced against people of different race or colour.

Often Christians ask if inter-racial marriage is scriptural. I believe it is, but let's actually see what the Word says....

The case for the Ethiopian (black) woman in Numbers 12:1-10

And Miriam and Aaron spake against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married: for he had married an Ethiopian woman. And they said, Hath the LORD indeed spoken only by Moses? hath he not spoken also by us? And the LORD heard [it].

(Now the man Moses [was] very meek, above all the men which [were] upon the face of the earth.) And the LORD spake suddenly unto Moses, and unto Aaron, and unto Miriam, Come out ye three unto the tabernacle of the congregation. And they three came out.

And the LORD came down in the pillar of the cloud, and stood [in] the door of the tabernacle, and called Aaron and Miriam: and they both came forth.

And he said, Hear now my words: If there be a prophet among you, [I] the LORD will make myself known unto him in a vision, [and] will speak unto him in a dream.

My servant Moses [is] not so, who [is] faithful in all mine house.

With him will I speak mouth to mouth, even apparently, and not in dark speeches; and the similitude of the LORD shall he behold: wherefore then were ye not afraid to speak against my servant Moses? And the anger of the LORD was kindled against them; and he departed.

And the cloud departed from off the tabernacle; and, behold, Miriam [became] leprous, [white] as snow: and Aaron looked upon Miriam, and, behold, [she was] leprous.

Here we see that the LORD was angry because of the way Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses marrying a black woman. If Miriam was made a leper because of Gods' displeasure in her speaking against an innocent man then we can see that God has no qualms about inter-racial marriage. Obviously, God did not even hint that Moses had sinned by marrying an Ethiopian woman.

The Bible never classes a coloured person as a second rate person as we see in this beautiful story of the Spirit causing Philip to evangelise an Ethiopian (black) eunuch. And then we see his subsequent salvation and baptism. Acts 8:26 And the angel of the Lord spake unto Philip, saying, Arise, and go toward the south unto the way that goeth down from Jerusalem unto Gaza, which is desert. And he arose and went: and, behold, a man of Ethiopia, an eunuch of great authority under Candace queen of the Ethiopians, who had the charge of all her treasure, and had come to Jerusalem for to worship, Was returning, and sitting in his chariot read Esaias the prophet.

Then the Spirit said unto Philip, Go near, and join thyself to this chariot. And Philip ran thither to [him], and heard him read the prophet Esaias, and said, Understandest thou what thou readest? And he said, How can I, except some man should guide me? And he desired Philip that he would come up and sit with him. The place of the scripture which he read was this, He was led as a sheep to the slaughter; and like a lamb dumb before his shearer, so opened he not his mouth: In his humiliation his judgment was taken away: and who shall declare his generation? for his life is taken from the earth. And the eunuch answered Philip, and said, I pray thee, of whom speaketh the man of himself, or of some other man? Then Philip opened his mouth, and began at the same scripture, and preached unto him Jesus. 

And as they went on [their] way, they came unto a certain water: and the eunuch said, See, [here is] water; what doth hinder me to be baptized? And Philip said, If thou believest with all thine heart, thou mayest. And he answered and said, I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. And he commanded the chariot to stand still: and they went down both into the water, both Philip and the eunuch; and he baptized him. And when they were come up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord caught away Philip, that the eunuch saw him no more: and he went on his way rejoicing.

So even though man makes distinctions, God sees people as people regardless of their race.

Nowhere in scripture do we see God telling us not to marry if our intended spouse is of another ethnic or racial persuasion to us....He does tell us repeatedly that we are only to marry another Christian.... and I see that as irregardless of colour or race...

There may be a few more difficulties with handling the prejudices of others: I do not see that as a scriptural matter. Obviously from the scriptures showing Miriam and Aarons' disapproval of Moses' marriage to a woman of colour, we can see that there has always been a prejudice of some people regarding inter-racial marriage. However, God does not require that we marry only someone of the same race as ourselves...only we are to marry "in the LORD"

© Glenys Robyn Hicks                   

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14

Confessions of a sick housewife

As you probably know, I am trying to cope with heart problems, arthritis, fibromyalgia and back problems. That should be enough to cope with, but added to that, we are moving house tomorrow to become grey nomads and travel round Australia.  But right now,  I am totally exhausted!

Furthermore, as I packed stuff and cleaned the house, I was appalled at how dirty our home had become! In fact, I cried! I would be totally ashamed to sit at my kitchen table to share a cuppa with you with the state it has gotten in. As I scrubbed my stove top and cleaned my oven, it occurred to me that I had no right writing posts about homemaking when my home was so dirty! This realisation coupled with fatigue sent me in a downward spiral which the Evil One was only too happy to escort me to.

Seeking to refresh my lagging spirits, I listened to the Word on CD as I cleaned and I cried out to the LORD. Literally cried. Although I felt no physical refreshment, the Word ministered to my spirit. I felt amazingly and unconditionally loved and I can't say I heard the LORD, but I did receive a definite feeling of understanding and compassion in my spirit. This came as 'self-talk' but it was not from my self. You just know when God has spoken to your spirit. He always encourages you even when chastising, and even in chastisement, there is always a way out and a hope! This never comes from the Evil One!

I felt that I was being too hard on myself, given the circumstances of my ill health. I questioned if what I write is true, and it is. It is something that I aspire to, try to achieve and totally believe. The fact that I cannot achieve this at the moment is irrelevant. My heart and spirit are in the exhortations that I write. Therefore, I am not a hypocrite. You have got to believe me when I say that this ministered to me so much, that I felt the weight of false guilt just roll off my shoulders.

I am battling so many things right now. Including fear of the future, death, worsening health issues and pain.  I do so desire you to uphold me in your prayers and not to think too badly of me as I confess these shortcomings to you.....

I am sorry that I have disappointed some of you with this confession..... sometimes things get on top of me! Thank you to those of you who are praying for me. Perhaps it was these prayers that have led me back from The Pit.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Hebrews 12:8

Always a blessing

Living a satisfying and fruitful Christian life as an older woman is important. In applying godly principles and priorities to our life, we can avoid the pitfalls of succumbing to depression during the years of empty nesting. With the benefit of life experience and years of walking with Christ, we can be a blessing to those closest round us even in later life.

I love to encourage Christian women in their most precious calling. Although I now have passed the season of childbearing and child raising, I still find that my life can influence my adult children and their children. Being a mother and a godly woman never stops! In sharing my heart as an older Sister in Christ in the spirit of Titus 2 and Proverbs 31, I feel that I am still living my life out in a scripturally pleasing way and in keeping with godly priorities.

It is important that the older Christian woman encourages and teaches her younger sisters (and that includes her daughters and granddaughters) It is my prayer that younger women will catch the beauty and freedom we have in Christ by accepting that marriage, children and home are our first and most precious calling and ministry. I pray too that if you are an older sister like myself, that you will rise up and bless younger women too!

By living life according to godly priorities and principles, the aging Christian woman can find satisfaction and joy and be a blessing to those closest to her, even after her children have left the nest, for now is the time for outside ministry. God never wants us to feel unfulfilled and empty-He wants us to pass on the baton of godly womanhood.

God's ways are good: they are always good! And He says you will always be a blessing!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"The aged women likewise, that [they be] in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children," Titus 2:4-5

Experts don't always know best

When I was born there was a philosophy of child raising influenced by a whole network of Maternal Welfare Centres in Australia under the umbrella of Dr Truby King. In this teaching, the newborn was "trained" to be fed every 4 hours on the dot, allowed to cry inconsolably when hungry yet allowed to run wild in the developing years. One did not want to hurt their little psyches by spanking or scolding.

My mother remembers only too well her niece who was sucking on her fingers and screaming for a feed but whose mother would let her scream until the clock said it was time for the next feed! She was a strict follower of the Truby King regime. By the time the baby was offered the breast (which was swollen with milk that would gush down the child's throat), she was usually too exhausted to suckle well and if she did, would be full of colic from all the crying.

My cousin grew up a chronic thumb sucker and a lonely and unhappy child. But a child who was allowed complete freedom- even to tap dancing on the top of her mother's white Queen Ann dressing table! At a time when a newborn should be taught to trust in a big world, and then how to love and form a deep abiding bond with its mother or carer, it was deprived of not only food but comfort! It learnt to be anxious and distrustful and unloving!

But at an age where the personality was developing and training could commence, the child was allowed full vent to emotion and desires and was allowed to run wild. These poor children were taught that instant gratification, disrespect of authority, people and their possessions and ultimate selfishness were their right. There were no boundaries and the child was unhappy and isolated. Parents of children being trained in the niceties and values of normal living rightfully didn't want their own children associating with them.

Ultimately, Truby King bred a generation of unhappy adults who knew nothing but self indulgence and that anarchy does indeed rule. How sad! How very contrary to God's way of raising children! I do not know what became of Dr Truby King perhaps he has passed on- but the legacy he has passed on to countless adults brought up under his spartan regime is appalling. How different these teachings are to the gentle rearing of our children under the admonition of the scriptures!

How my heart yearns to be able to go back in time and comfort and feed the many infants starving for hours and fretting and to direct and gently guide the little children brought up under the teaching of these people! Yet many sincere and genuinely loving parents thought they were doing what was best for their children- unfortunately, they followed after the foolishness of man and against the knowledge of the Most High God.

I was fortunate to have a sensible mother, but thousands weren't. It makes you wonder how each turned out as an adult doesn't it?

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward. " Psalm 127:3

Created To Be His Helpmeet..a dangerous book.

I am a conservative, non-feminist and submissive wife. Even though there were some good things regarding bringing women back to godly principles in marriage,  I found this book very disturbing.  I had been a severely abused wife for 25 years. So from the angle of an abused wife, I would like to comment and speak up for those women too afraid or unable to speak for themselves.

Chapter 2: The ugly hillbilly woman- the first and main reason she is accounted as ‘Ugly’ by Debi Pearl, is that she is overweight! As an overweight woman, that stung! I may be overweight, but my husband and family and friends have never even intimated that I am ugly! The fact that a smile can change this “worse than regular ugly!” woman is hogwash. It takes more than a smile to change a character- though a smile does indeed help. To say that the woman became unrecognizable when she was caught scowling because she was upset at her obese daughter taking candy is a bit far-fetched (unless her husband is short-sighted or dim-witted) However, I do agree that we must cultivate a happy disposition and smile. Our husbands and family need to see that.

When I first read the letter to the desperate wife whose husband was having an emotional affair with his secretary my first response was that Mrs Pearl’s advice was wrong. Then I reconsidered and thought that there was truth in the advice that if the wife stood up for her rights (and indeed she was in the right)- and fought to win her man back, then that would be the better way to approach it than to end the marriage. I have seen marriages almost ruined by affairs become stronger than ever where the wife has stood her ground. But if the marriage fails, why does Mrs Pearl attest that “if you get another husband, he will be like your old one- cast off by some other woman”? Who is she to say that with such conviction? It is not necessarily true or a given fact!

But it is so true that you cannot force or demand your husband to love you and that he cannot be pressured to love you because you are husband and wife. But why does love come into the equation in a Christian marriage? Where are commitment, understanding, compassion, forgiveness and other Christ-like attributes like forbearance, integrity and obligation to keep the marriage vows simply because God says we must?

If one person does not want to be in a marriage, it is a sad fact of life that sometimes no matter how much the spouse who wishes to remain in the marriage tries to please the errant spouse, then the one wanting out will often leave or make it impossible to stay in the marriage by becoming violent or aggressive. Then, because of hardness of heart of the errant spouse, the prayers and efforts of the faithful spouse come to naught. Why? Because we are carnal creatures at times- both men and women. God sometimes cannot soften a heart that is turned from Him because He will not violate our free will. However,I believe if you loved your husband enough, you would fight for him. Or stay in the marriage until it was impossible to remain safely in it.

We do see a bit of the “boys will be boys” mentality in this chapter, and I have to wonder if this is biased towards men being helpless creatures bewitched under the guiles of wicked women- Jezebels all. I know that men are called to account to God for their sins and being a man who can’t control his thought life and actions is not being a godly man. It does seem that the wife is to bear the burden of blame for her husband’s sin and then take it on the chin! And smile, smile, smile through her tears!

Another sore point with me is where she says,” being pitiful, hurt, discouraged and even sickly is one side of a “bad marriage” coin. Men in general (your husband in particular), are repulsed by women who project this image. A man’s spirit tells him his woman is rejecting him manipulating him when she regularly manifests a broken spirit, and he will react in anger.”

As a woman who suffers from an illness that causes chronic pain and fatigue, I am so overjoyed to report that my husband doesn’t treat me as a faulty appliance which causes him great anger, but he cherishes me and tries to alleviate my suffering on bad days by sharing in my tasks and closing an eye to that which can’t be done on any particular day. After all, we promised to love each other in sickness and in health. Isn’t that type of commitment what God wants in marriage? So this chapter got me thanking God for the blessing of a husband who puts me first when I need it. (see Sick Wives Are Despised By Their Husbands: Debi Pearl)

Chapter 4: Thanksgiving produces joy. Whilst I can see Mrs Pearl’s point about not getting upset about the trash not being taken out, I think she is a little (much?) on the immature side when she finds screaming like that funny. IMO she is mighty fortunate to have a man who can see the funny side- especially when he has not been in the habit of taking trash out for her. And then to see her struggling week after week with the trash and not help her seems really inconsiderate to me.

Also I am uncomfortable that a woman who is teaching other women to be godly wives forgets that we are to be discreet- especially when our intimate lives are involved. It is not very discreet to almost hope that the business manager comes in and then to have a scream ready to embarrass the poor man! Yes, we are to be our husband’s playmate! I agree 100% but then I agree with the Word which clearly says: ” as a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.” Proverbs 11:22

To not care about the feelings of the business manager but in fact to entertain thoughts of him finding Mr and Mrs Pearl frolicking or worse yet, in fragrante delicto, is absolutely contrary to Scripture. We are not to be the cause of another person to stumble- apart from being very embarrassing to the staff, I am sure most of them would think Mr and Mrs Pearl extremely indiscreet and insensitive- lovemaking should be enjoyable, fun and PRIVATE!

Chapter 5: the gift of wisdom: In the beginning of this chapter, IMO Mrs Pearl is putting a great deal of pressure on the wife to be the prime force behind a successful marriage. If the marriage is not a heavenly one, it would seem in her opinion, that the wife is not submitting or being thankful and joyful. Whilst I agree that basically what she says is true, there are marriages where normal boundaries are overstepped and it is impossible to be thankful or joyful- for example after a beating or some other horrendously humiliating experience. Now it is extremely difficult if not impossible, to be thankful to and for the husband who is like this.

Marriage is a two-way street. A man is to love his wife as his own body- no man hates his own body but cherishes it (Ephesians 5:28) To completely negate this by saying that a wife should love and respect her husband regardless is OK- to a point. But what of the badly abused wife? It is impossible to be a loving responsive wife in the evening after that same man has bruised you physically and emotionally during the day. At best our body can be receptive, but our heart cannot join in with loving responses. The fear overrides all else.

I feel Mrs Pearl is totally unable to empathise with a wife who is badly abused and to add the pressure of maintaining or creating a “heavenly” marriage in such a case is not only impossible but invites the poor woman to break down emotionally or even doubt or lose her faith! Mrs Pearl is preaching the truth for the majority of marriages- but not for all!

As a woman nearly beaten to the point of death in my first marriage, I take great exception to this:(the abusive harsh husband)…”But he cannot victimize you unless you react outside of the wisdom of God.” This is such hogwash! When your jaw is dislocated or your ribs broken, it is a normal reaction to feel pain. Then to fear being hurt like that again. It is hopeful that the godly woman will turn to God in her pain and not feel rejected by Him. To even continue in a marriage like this takes more faith and obedience than Mrs Pearl will ever know personally.

I did as Mrs Pearl advocates: I held my tongue and didn’t strike back in anger. I tried not to feel sorry for myself and protected HIM from the consequences of his sin by not going to the law and telling my doctor lies about how my injuries came about. I understand what Mrs Pearl is saying but I also understand that there are some men walking so much in sin that it goes WAY BEYOND TRASH BAGS NOT BEING TAKEN OUT. Preaching like Mrs Pearl’s saw me come to the point of a nervous breakdown.

When you feel like God doesn’t intervene or care or if you leave your husband, that you are going to Hell, and are therefore trapped in a cycle of abuse that makes you vomit up everything you eat because of fear, then you have nowhere to go but down into the pit of Hell itself. I am adamant that God does care, and doesn’t want any wife to be treated in this way. But I realise that on the other side of the coin, there are many wives who will justify leaving their husbands for a minor infringement like not taking the trash out! So this chapter has to be read assuming that a marriage is not in the extreme range of violence against the woman.

I wasn’t going to get personal in my critique, but maybe some women reading this will identify and be helped by what I write! Balance, dear Sisters, balance and wisdom in ALL things! So this chapter to me is one where I nod and turn the page over!

I have made notes of other things both good and bad to comment on, but I now realise that in all honesty, the more I delve into this book, the more I find it disturbs me. There are too many things that Debi Pearl writes about that are not backed up by scripture and in other situations, I feel that she and Michael offer no real answer for those married to men who are habitually abusing their wives. I am not really well enough at the moment to write about each and every chapter, so I will make a blanket critique of this book by saying in my opinion,  the advice is often unrealistic and even dangerous- especially about keeping silent if you are a wife suffering from abuse.

My belief is that when a wife comes to the point of shedding blood or having bones broken by her husband then the authorities should be notified, her doctor should be consulted and treatment given and her pastor should be informed. I regret that I followed the “suffering in silence” method of dealing with my own physical abuse and almost ended up dying at my ex husband’s hands. To counsel women along the lines of silent suffering is not wise counsel and downright dangerous.

So in closing, I would say that I have changed my mind about recommending the book- I would caution all those who read it to keep in mind that husbands do indeed have no right before God or man to so damage their wife that she suffer real physical damage. Christian or not- the red line is crossed when a woman or child is hit enough to cause any damage.

We have many excellent books on Christian marriage that are equally good in bringing women back to remembering that they are helpmeets. IMO the Pearls book is not totally backed up in scripture and is therefore erroneous teaching and dangerous as well. I now would say that my findings are 90% rubbish and 10% good teaching. If you are in a marriage where you are not living in fear every waking moment, praise God! I am happy for you, however, I am speaking up for thousands of godly Christian Sisters who are not! They need your prayers and compassion badly- something that Debi and Michael Pearl seem to be lacking!

Here are some books that are by far better than CTBHH:
“The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective” by Martha Peace.

Leslie Vernick’s ‘How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong’

Gary Chapman: ‘The 5 Love Languages’ and ‘On the Marriage You Always Wanted.’

"The Power Of A Positive Wife” by Karol Ladd

‘Feminine Appeal: 7 Virtues of a Godly Wife’ and

‘Mother and/or Biblical Womanhood in the Home’…both written by Nancy Leigh Demoss.

Other greats include ‘Lord, Meet Me in the Laundry Room’ by Barbara Curtis as well as

‘The Mother at Home’.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so. Acts 17:11

Sick wives despised by their husbands

I have recently read Debi Pearl's book "Created To Be His Helpmeet" Frankly, I think the book is scripturally unsound and borders on demeaning and insulting to women. What Debi Pearl says about the sick wife is just one area where I find a lack of compassion and an almost mysogynistic outlook. Here is what she says:

"being pitiful, hurt, discouraged and even sickly is one side of a “bad marriage” coin. Men in general (your husband in particular), are repulsed by women who project this image. A man’s spirit tells him his woman is rejecting him manipulating him when she regularly manifests a broken spirit, and he will react in anger.”
As a woman who suffers from illnesses that cause chronic pain and fatigue, I am so overjoyed to report that my husband doesn’t treat me as a faulty appliance which causes him great anger, but he cherishes me and tries to alleviate my suffering on bad days by sharing in my tasks and closing an eye to that which can’t be done on any particular day. After all, we promised to love each other in sickness and in health. Isn’t that type of commitment what God wants in marriage? So this chapter got me thanking God for the blessing of a husband who puts me first when I need it.

We sacrificial home keepers have enough on our plates already: trying to cope with our illness, be a good wife and mother and run our home. We often deal with disbelieving family members when the illness is an invisible illness like fibromyagia and chronic fatigue. Most likely you too have thought, like I do, that sometimes it would be easier to have an illness or disability that is highly visible rather than endure snide remarks about laziness and so on as we battle on.

Debi and Michael Pearl lack compassion, empathy and love. In my opinion, they lack many Christlike attributes that are the hallmark of a Christian. To put such a heavy yoke onto a sick woman's shoulders is to cause her added stress and anxiety. It is not the way of Christ.

I believe that the majority of sick women fight a courageous battle and do an overwhelmingly good job of being a Helpmeet to their husband. They are usually the hardest on themselves for they want to do that which their healthier Sisters do and they often fail. They do not need the likes of some author (Christian or not), putting the boot in and blaming them for their husbands' anger and spiritual unease. Nor do they need to be made anxious about their marriage.

Over the years, I have observed marriages where the wife is ill and I have seen that the majority of husbands are not as Debi Pearl claims. They love their wife and usually do all they can to support her in her homemaking efforts. They bring their children in line and demand that they take their mothers' health into consideration.

This is the love Christ wants for us, not the "love" portrayed by Debi Pearl. We would do well to reject her ideas on the sick spouse and to thank God that we have the Holy Spirit to lead us into Truth. He is indeed our Comforter.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick. Matthew 14:14

A new chapter

Chris and I have always wanted to travel around Australia. Now in our late sixties, our children are all grown, our grandchildren also are older and we now have no aged parents to care for. The stage is set. It is our time.

As you may recall, my mother lost her battle with dementia last December and in the fullness of time, her money from her house sale cleared. She graciously left me enough money to buy our rig and truck and now the time has come to leave for sunny shores. Or in our case, coastline.

So, we have almost finished closing up our rented house. We have either sold or given away most of our stuff and we are almost ready.

I am a little anxious but looking forward to this nomadic lifestyle. I have never done this before. Chris tells me that our life won't change too dramatically. I will still be writing. I will miss going to church, but will take steps to have church at home.

I know God is in this with us, and He remains our Saviour and Friend. We will be carrying Him in our hearts and minds to whomever He places in our path. 

Whatever changes there are, I am still looking forward to this new chapter in our lives.

If you want to follow our travels around Australia, Chris's blog is here: Stealin' Away  This is a picture of our rig. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: forthe Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9

Have a good cry

So anyone who knows me, knows I am not a woman who cries easily. I am stoic and try to overcome my disabling symptoms. 

Yesterday, after seeing my useless and unfeeling doctor, I got home and the pain in my joints, the muscles tearing and the pain in my calf and back and chest reached a crescendo in a climax of searing agony. I just bowed my head and cried. Not loudly, but deep from within like a soda that's been shaken up and then uncapped. 

It was messy. It was wet. But it was healing. Finally, when I had cleaned up my face and wiped my eyes, I realised that it was OK to cry. And it was healing. The pain in my chest abated. I think an occasional cry is therapeutic.

So next time you fight back tears: don't. Let the healing tears come. Have a good cry. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? Psalm 56:8

Warning danger ahead!

Have you, like me, been totally appalled lately with what you see on TV? We watch an English serial called “The Bill” Currently the Detective Inspector is having an affair with a very attractive Police Constable and the whole context is that the DI’s wife is prudish, frigid, inferior and the PC is anything but. The scriptwriters purposely make the cheating spouse attractive and the betrayed spouse unattractive! This is promoting adultery as an attractive past time. And denigrates marriage.

Similarly, there are many shows on TV now which try to push us to accept homosexuality as a normal lifestyle. Indeed, The Bill is one which seems to portray 90% of the English Police Force as gay. It is a sad fact that more teenagers than ever before are accepting this lifestyle as a valid choice and can see no wrong in being gay. Such is the strength of the media that it is turning our children so far away from the things of the LORD.

How many times have we queued up at the supermarket trying desperately to block our children’s eyes from the half-naked women in the magazines at the checkout? Or went into the service station to pay for our petrol and found racks of XXX magazines in plain sight? Where are we supposed to look? We are literally being bombarded by pornography and filth from all quarters.

We wives and mothers must guard our homes from such pollution, for there is danger ahead. There is danger in allowing our children or grandchildren to be exposed to this filth and bad messages. We have to make sure that our homes are clean in every way. We must faithfully make sure that any music, literature, videos or games are clean and we MUST monitor any TV or DVDs that our children and grandchildren watch. And with the advent of the Net, we must monitor where the children are surfing to. It is so easy (and dangerous too), to have them travel where no children should go.

Woe to the parents who allow their children the “luxury” of a TV in their room. I warn you, there is danger ahead if you allow them to watch anything they desire. Because there is so much emphasis on sex today, the small child can become a walking encyclopaedia of not only The Act, but procreation in or out of marriage, adultery, homosexuality, and all ungodliness. Not to mention witnessing murders, kidnappings, rapes and burglaries at an alarming rate- and taking it all on board, absorbing all this evil like little sponges.

Yes, there is danger ahead. Danger of seeing too much too soon. Of becoming old before their time. Of accepting violence and force as a normal way of living. Precocious and street-wise and hardened. Hardened to feeling compassion for the hurting and hardened to the very basics of Christianity like forgiveness and kindness.

This will take a lot more than a night-time story, glass of milk and “God bless Mummy and Daddy” prayers to fix. For the danger is that little minds will be forever corrupted by what they absorb NOW. And the images foisted on young brains will be contrary to all our lessons on purity and holiness- and it will take a miracle to erase them from our children’s consciousness.

There is danger ahead- but there is safety too. The danger is in ignoring what your children are watching, listening to, surfing to and reading, and the safety is in being diligent in monitoring what comes into your home. We can’t change the world, but we can protect our children’s world in our homes.

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.l”. Romans 12:2

Let God do His part.

So for one reason or another, you find yourself married to an unbeliever,  and the loneliness can be like a damp cloak around your shoulders.

You long to share your faith with him, but he sometimes rebels and gets annoyed or angry, and this compounds the feeling of spiritual disconnection. 

I have lived with an unbeliever after coming to the LORD after marriage. I know the longings for spiritual connection and the loneliness felt in an unequally yoked marriage. 

Divorce is not an option, so what is the Christian wife to do until or even if, her husband comes to Christ?

I would like to encourage unequally yoked wives to keep believing and keep praying and to treat their as yet unsaved husbands with the same deference they would if he was saved. In that regard, the LORD sees no difference in his treatment.

He is still responsible under God... even if of course, he doesn't believe in Him. He needs your prayers, not your lectures, sermons, tantrums or tears. In fact, if we do those things, we may very well alienate him from coming to the LORD totally.

It is hard work and a difficult path when one is unequally yoked, and it is normal that the saved wife will long for her husband to be saved. But the hardest thing of all is to not take on the role of the Holy Spirit and try to convict and woo your husband to Christ.  That is His job, not ours.

After many years of seeming fruitless prayers, you may be tempted to become short and irritated with your husband. But loving them to Him is critical to them coming to Jesus.  Just love him as if he is already a Christian. That's your part in winning him to Christ. Let God do His part. 

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks

For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save [thy] husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save [thy] wife?  1 Corinthians 7:16

It could be better

When I was married the first time, my husband was not a believer. I was born again 9 years after we married.  I prayed the kind of prayers that only an unequally yoked wife can... Chris is a believer, but I know the anguish being spiritually unyoked can bring... Here is a prayer for the unequally yoked wife...

Father, you said it is not good that man be alone, and in Your love, You created a help meet just for him.

You ordained the first marriage in the Garden of Eden.

And You said it was good! LORD, we who love you and marriage have found ourselves tasting of the beauty in marriage and we agree with You: it is good. 

But he who we have covenanted to love forever is not yet in Your Kingdom- we are together but still lonely... our spirits long for soul intimacy with our husband. 

What we know is good could be much better!  We ask that You bring our husbands into Your Kingdom. A threefold cord isn't easily broken. 

Please grant us our hearts' desire LORD, for being equally yoked is in Your Will..We  pray for strength,

Patience and love to endure this lonely path known only to a Christian wife Who wants a truly godly marriage.

In Jesus' Name we pray.  Amen.

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks

For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save [thy] husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save [thy] wife?  1 Corinthians 7:16

Church at home

Chronic illness and pain bring us a new normal. Often it is very different to life in the past. But there's nothing we can do to change our circumstances. We have to adapt.

I do home church now. Chris has always played Songs of Praise on Channel 2 and we sing along, I listen to some sermons that my local church pastor preaches... (he's good) and then I listen to worship music on my computer. 

I certainly miss the corporate worship, but it's the way it is now and I have to mark the LORD'S Day as best I can. We are OK with that. I often take Communion by myself. It is meaningful to me.

Not attending church is not the ideal, but then having to find out our new normal isn't ideal either. By worshiping at home and making an effort to mark the LORD'S Day, my spirit is nourished nearly as much as if I attended church.

Apart from listening to Songs of Praise, my morning routine of worship and time with the LORD look a lot like Sunday. That's what I tell myself anyway. I can't allow myself to feel false guilt over something beyond my control. In church or at home, my commitment is always with Him.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"For the eyes of the LORD range though out the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him." 2 Chronicles 16:9
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