I have the mind of Christ

 

Quite a few years ago I had a friend who was a big help in me becoming a woman of a calm and quiet spirit.

She was a few years older than I and was a widow who was previously married to a pastor.

We often had her come for a meal and we would talk about all kinds of things. To me she was my spiritual mother.

Being the wife of a sick husband, her own husband's health prior to his passing was similar to both Chris and mine: severe heart failure. It was very comforting to talk to her knowing that we walked a similar path.

We loved talking about the LORD and how to draw close to Him especially during trials. It was just so easy to not only talk, but to learn.

About this time, there was a lot of talk of strange goings on with UFO's being a very common discussion- but this was the time when this sort of thing implied that to believe in them may indicate some type of mental illness. But of course today, there are so many credible sightings etc that one now takes it as almost normal.

Trying to work out why my friend was not confused or agitated about these types of occurences, I asked her how does she cope with questions of UFO's and alien abductions and so on.

She replied that she believes they are fallen angels and not aliens and that this will be more prevalent as Jesus' return for us in the Rapture is very close. These sightings will be used to explain the millions of people who have suddenly disappeared. Aliens abducted them they will say.

I asked how does she not be effected by it all and she replied, "I see it as a distraction from doing God's work, Dear!"

That really got me thinking... and I believe it is meant to distract us from fulfilling our calling, if at all possible.

This gave me a certain peace and also ties in with what the scripture says about taking every thought into the captivity of Christ! Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; -2 Corinthians 10:5

If the evil one can get us quiver in fright and never pray or witness or serve, then he has won and has destroyed our peace. You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3

The first battle ground is in the mind. If he can confuse that, he has rendered us useless for service to the King of Kings. 

I chose to remember that we do not have the spirit of fear but of a sound mind. I intend to keep it that way- for  as His daughter who loves and serves Him, I have the mind of Christ.

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks

 

For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? but we have the mind of Christ. - 1 Corinthians 2:16

The cruelest blow

I have four children who I love with all my heart. However, I wish that I could honestly say that they love me just as much. Or even at all.

As far as my mothering went, I was a good mother, however, one child doesn't even answer the phone to me or answer my messages. It's as if I don't exist and the only reason I see my granddaughter is that he wants her minded. I let it go because he is a narcissist and is always right. He will withhold my granddaughter if I cross him at all.

At least I can hold my head up that I've done my best. God sees. He knows I gave myself exclusively to my children and grandchildren. But they made choices that sadly do not include me in their life.

Thank God we aren't accountable for the actions of our kids and grandchildren. I will pray that there's a resolution for  myself and any other Sisters who visit here with broken family ties and estranged children and grandchildren.

Loving them with your whole heart and losing them to indifference and disdain is the cruelest blow. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone. Psalm 71.9

Big Brother has got us covered

My twin sister has lupus but she has no mental impairment with it. The other day, she received a letter from the Australian Government body called Aged Care. They informed her that she was to attend a meeting of a panel of health care professionals who would discuss her ability to stay in her own home. The final decision would be taken by them and not including her, and would involve her moving into a nursing home. This in spite of sharing a home with my son as her carer.

Shocked, she rang them and said not to bother. She didn't want their help. I am also getting Home Help from the same Body and I rang to cancel my records with them. They said they could make my record inactive which meant no one can access them, but as they became property of the Commonwealth of Australia, they couldn't be deleted.

I got them to make mine and Chris's records with Aged Care inactive and my sister did the same. It means that I no longer am eligible for Home Help and I am now paying privately to have a cleaner once a fortnight. It is a small price to pay in my opinion.

We cannot get over the high handed methods used by the Australian government in denying a client in their Aged Care plan their right to make decisions in their own life when there are no problems with that client's acuity.

When important decisions have to be made, Chris and I will consider all our options and cover it in prayer for guidance. We will not let some strangers take it out of our hands.

Sadly, Australia is now becoming an authoritarian regime and Big Brother has got us covered.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone. Psalm 71.9

Dying for a hug

 

Ever since childhood, I have been a person who loves close contact. I needed to be loved, but sadly that was something that I longed for, but never received as a child, then as a young adult.

Now nearly 70 years old, I have been diagnosed with depression, post traumatic stress disorder, panic disorder and fibromyalgia, to which there is a link with childhood abuse. 

Like trying to lose weight after taking medications for hyothyroidism, my current happy marriage and constant hugs and demonstrative affection, has not been able to erradicate the damage that was done in my childhood.

Open affection was something denied to me until I left my abusive husband after 25 years of hell and met Chris. During the 4 years between leaving my ex husband and meeting and marrying Chris, I felt so very alone.

I was never alone, not even in the womb, and being solo was strange and difficult for me. I was enveloped by a loneliness that draped itself around my shoulders like a wet soggy cloak of despair.

The only physical contact I had was at church, where we passed the peace, hugged our friends and received a chaste kiss on the cheek. I lived for that brief time every week.

I have read of an experiment that denied newborns affection, and each of the babies died. Perhaps this lack of affection was something that effected adults too. I know it was a big part in my becoming pregnant at 16, taken in by a man who told me he loved me. He started his abuse as soon as the ink dried on the marriage certificate and still continued (long distance) even after the ink dried on the divorce papers.

It is a blessing that Chris knows all my past and understands me, for even today I cannot bear to be outside at night. This is due to the fact that we often had to vacate our warm beds in the early hours of the morning with Dad chasing us in a drunken state, throwing beer bottles at us as we fled. Once it gets night, I feel anxious if I am not home and settled.

I am talking to you about this not for pity but a warning that hugs, kisses, cuddles, affectionate voices and other demonstrations of love is critical for a child's development. To give a child a happy childhood peppered with demonstrations of love and oodles of hugs is the best thing you can give them- more important than expensive toys.

During this enforced staying at home, let's make an effort to be demonstrative in our affections. Let's hug our children often, hold hands with our husband and nurture the need for touch and feeling loved.

"But what if my husband is not the affectionate sort?" you ask. Love him anyway, even if he is surprised by it. It will benefit not only your marriage, but your children. And who knows, you might even find that underneath the hesitation to show affection, he is starved for it, and is dying for a hug.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Titus 2:4-5 “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

Your sleep can be sweet.

I often wake with a panic attack induced by a dream.  This is pretty common for the fibromyalgia sufferer.

The first thing I do is purposefully relax my body and allow the adrenaline to subside. I usually feel it coursing through my body like a cold chill. By relaxing instead of tensing, it usually leaves through the soles of my feet. That takes care of the physical nasty effects of the panic.

I have trained myself to immediately respond with praise. Worship and praise are key to controlling it on the emotional level. I make myself lay in bed and I pray for others' needs. I also force myself to dwell on positive things like counting my blessings.

If I refrain from getting up, but stay in bed instead, I can usually fall asleep again. Panic attacks are sneaky things that can catch you unawares, such as when you are sleeping. But they don't have to linger. 

Focus on relaxing and getting your breathing controlled and then focus on praiseworthy  and good things.  God gives His beloved rest. He's got your back, even in your sleep. Your sleep can be sweet.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

When you lie down, you will not be afraid; Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. Proverb 3:24

Focusing on the moment

We live in a world which is fraught with anxiety which not only robs us of our peace, but promotes panic attacks. This debilitates us and robs us further of time used profitably. It can be a personal hell on earth.

Years ago, when I had panic attacks, a friend who was a pastor's wife and I were discussing things along that line over a cup of tea. She said in all honesty, she had no answers to if we are alone in the Universe and so on. But what she said next made me think.

She said that she won't allow herself to dwell on useless questions because she doesn't want to be distracted from what Christ has for her to do. She suggested that I stay close to the LORD and bring my thoughts into the captivity of Christ. 

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 2 Corinthians 10:5

I followed her advice and was able to overcome my panic attacks. I stopped having the TV on all day with sad world events 24/7. When Chris watched a documentary or video on conspiracy theories, he listened to them with his headphones on. I threw myself into my home making and cuddled up with Chris more often. I made myself dwell on my life verse in Philippians 4:8 and only concentrated on what I knew was good:

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8

There is still beauty in the world and there is peace in trusting God and His Word. Like me, if you are fearful, take steps to avoid watching or listening to things that open up questions and rob you of your peace. 

Play Christian music, read the Word and pray. Make your home more pleasant and hug your husband and children. Know that Christ is in control and is on your side. We have His protection: He has our back no matter what those answers are: He is Who He is: the I Am

So if you worry about world events and conspiracy theories, lay it all at Jesus's feet. Dwell on how you can best serve the LORD. Don't let troubling thoughts rob you of your joy. Peace will come back to you like it did for me. Life will be better by focusing on the moment.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Do not waste time arguing over godless ideas and old wives’ tales. Instead, train yourself to be godly. 1 Timothy 4:7

Out of control

My first marriage was very violent and traumatic for me. I was constantly shouted at by my ex-husband, with him screaming at me so closely that there was spittle on my glasses and face. This was often punctuated with a smack across the face or a punch in the jaw. In fact, he dislocated it once and to this day, I have problems with clicky jaw and TMJ...

Just after our 17th anniversary, I was trying to get something down from our wardrobe and I was standing on a bedside table..the table toppled over and my leg was badly bruised, but what hurt the most was that my husband came in roaring at me and punched me between the shoulder blades.. I don't know what happened, but I started howling and screaming like a wild woman and I couldn't stop it or the shaking that convulsed my body... even he was shocked..

I rang my mother and she took me to the doctor who gave me an injection to calm me... it did nothing. Mum rang him and he said that she should take me to hospital as he couldn't help any further..   So for the whole day I sat beside my hospital bed, blowing into a paper bag and talking to the psychiatrist for more than a couple of hours. He gave me a diagnosis of  extreme  stress and urged me to leave my husband,  which I did 8  years later.  I was discharged and sent home to my husband who informed me that I wasn't mad and didn't need to go to hospital even though he said I was mad every time I reacted to his abuse..

Being so low emotionally and mentally gave me insight into the way people view mental illness.. my family were appalled that I needed to talk to someone about it and I was urged to keep it private. This served to make me feel more alone and isolated than I already felt. To this day, fully recovered and now happily remarried, I feel anger at society's handling of the mentally ill..

Nervous breakdowns, stress induced illnesses, bi-polar, depression, schizophrenia and other mental illnesses do not make a person bad or someone to be hidden from society. We need to remember that they are suffering from invisible illnesses every bit as painful as a broken leg. We need to pray for them and treat them respectfully. They already will be suffering the added burden of shame and guilt for something that is out of their control.. 

PS I have been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder now. But in spite of being happily remarried for 21 years, I find I am still effected by my past marriage...

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you.' Isaiah 41:13

In a panic attack, God is right there with us

We are all wonderfully and fearfully made. But sometimes in our genetic makeup, we inherit or are "assigned" genes that are predisposed to anxiety.  Or we do not produce sufficient neurotransmitters such as Seretonin or endorphins, which result in our nature being one of anxiety and fear.

Like many mental illnesses, people often only see the outward manifestation of our illness, which produces a response in us sufferers of panic/anxiety disorder that not only produces fear in us, but often derision and judgement from others.

The person who suffers from panic disorder and anxiety often suffers more acutely because people do not realise that our body simply is not programmed properly. Often we contend with alienation from others born of their misunderstanding of our condition. We suffer deeply.

We who suffer intense depression at times are not weak as some suppose. Indeed, because we carry our condition within ourselves, and exhaust our limited supply of Seretonin and other "happy" neurotransmitters, we battle our condition on a daily basis.

We do not wish to stay this way and fight it, praying constantly. And many of us feel abandoned by God when we need Him the most! Which is far more frightening than suffering rejection and judgement from others..

As a Christian who battles with this disorder, I know that often it is the sufferer of Panic/anxiety disorder who is really quite strong in character. We are born in a battle and this battle often continues all our lives. Even with God in our lives.  It is endogenous: meaning it comes from within and as such, we carry it everywhere.

I believe that we should seek out medications to help us. God made them for a reason. Just as I take my Diabex medication for diabetes, so I take my anti-depressants. With a glad heart. For we are to look after the body: it is a temple for the Holy Spirit.

I must bring every thought into the captivity of Christ. I try not to dwell on sad events that I can do nothing about except pray. I also try to remember to think only of those things that are pure and good.  And, most importantly, I practise forgiveness of those who are ignorant of my disorder. Ignorance is usually hurtful, but not intentional hurt.  People generally are ignorant of mental illness...I try to remember that.

By far the greatest self help is to memorise scripture and use it and apply it to your life, so that when the anxiety comes, you can put on the armour of God, and quench it with the Word.  YOU SIMPLY MUST REMEMBER THAT GOD IS STILL THERE AND LOVES YOU IN SPITE OF YOUR FEELINGS.

Emotions are not what our salvation is based on!

It has taken me a life time of conquering this disorder. It hasn't been easy, but it is possible to gain the victory. Panic and anxiety is NOT YOUR LIFE it does NOT DEFINE WHO YOU ARE!

Nothing, not even a panic attack can take your salvation away from you, no matter how much "IT" bares its' teeth at you!  This is a fact that you should cling to in those times!  We will overcome!..

I do not have constant depression or frequent panic attacks any more. For this, I praise the LORD and give thanks. I write of my experience with depression to bring it out in the open.

People are often ashamed of being depressed. Especially Christians who feel that they have let the LORD down. But that is not so. We are still good living people who happen to have a problem with brain chemicals imbalance. We are not second rate people like the Enemy whispers in our ear. And we are courageous.

We sufferers of this disorder are actually stronger than we think... and feel it or not, God is right there with us...

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

 This is my life verse: Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if  there be any virtue, and if  there be  any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8