Morning Cuppas With Glenys : motherhood

Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts

Letting Him hear your voice!

Mother's Day was last Sunday and I am pleased to report that I heard from all of my children. When I say "heard", two actually rang me and the other two texted me.

With my elder two children just recently newly reconnected, I was especially happy this year. And when my granddaughter texted me as well, my joy was complete.

So what I say next is in no way a grumble but just a statement: it could have been better!

I hear you ask, "in what way could it be better?" By actually hearing their voices...

Looking back at my courting days, I remember the longing to hear from Chris- not just when he texted me, but when he called me. There was something special about hearing his voice. I loved it...

I think this is the way with lovers... to hear our loved one's voice is so sweet. Much better than a text.

Sadly, the way of the modern world today is to text or Private Message on social media as it's the quickest and least energetic method of communication. Send a text for someone's birthday or other occasion, and job's done.

That need to actually hear our loved one's voice is not just a human thing. Scripture tells us that God Himself loves to hear His Beloved's voice too.

Prayer is fine and worshiping God is fine, but I believe God really loves us to be audible at times.Why? Because He loves us!

Sometimes in my private prayer and worship time, I pray out loud, and when I worship Him, I tell Him how much I love Him- out loud.

Obviously, God understands our silent prayers, and when we can't speak, the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with words that cannot be spoken- but I believe that allowing God to hear our voice delights Him.

So in knowing this, I make a habit of praying and praising audibly- just because I know He loves me and I long to please Him.

We all are loved by the Lover of our souls- so let Him hear our voice!

O my dove, that art in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the stairs, let me see thy countenance, let me hear thy voice; for sweet is thy voice, and thy countenance is comely. Song of Solomon 2:14

Not ours to write

It is said a mother will raise a child for 18 years or so. What is not told you is that with each child, a mother’s heart is fragmented and not only will she give that child a Life Story at birth, but she will also give it her heart forever. Throughout the rest of her life she will be her child’s biggest influence, inscribing values and skills in its Life’s Book.

Every Page of that child’s life will be scrutinized and lived through. Every word, every full-stop measured in feeding progress, weight gain, colic and diaper changes. Every sentence will be measured in her child holding up its head, smiling, grasping and focusing. Each early Chapter will read as accomplishments in teething, crawling, sitting unsupported, first words and walking.

Shortly, a mother will become an avid Reader of the Book of her child’s life and will pore through it with rapt attention. She will often re-read the previous Chapters, seeking reasons for the present Story unfolding in the most recent Page of her child’s sojourn through life. Quite often this will be a fruitless exercise as she cannot re-write the Chapters. However, she will certainly be able to enhance the outcome of future Chapters by passing on her foresight and life skills to her child.

As the Reader and not the Writer of this Book, the mother will find that she becomes absorbed in every Chapter as it unfolds. Often against her will, she will find that she lives every hurt and disappointment, every heart ache, every pain and illness as if it were her own Life’s Story. And often, being a loving mother, she will wish that the sad Chapter was her own and not her child’s….but she is only the Reader.

Every accomplishment, victory, honour or triumph will become personal as a mother reads and lives her child’s Story. Indeed many mothers will find kudos in their children’s unfolding Life Story, especially if that child is successful. However, successful or not, a mother will still remain a loyal and enthusiastic Reader.

It is not unheard of for a mother to question the Writer of this Book whilst at the same time yearning for the Writer’s direction. But try as she might to become the Writer, this is a Book that she cannot write. She can and should, enquire of the Writer for guidance but in doing so, she must accept that the Editor’s decision is final.

It is interesting to note that just as a mother thinks she may be coming to the end of this Read, that she will find there is a Sequel which is just as compelling as the original. This comes in the form of grandchildren. After one glance at the Prologue, she will find herself giving yet more of her heart as her mind relives the first chapter of her own child’s Life Story.

With shaking hands and teary eyes, she will scan the Page eagerly, knowing that she will be a reader of this new child’s Life Story for many chapters to come. And she will undoubtedly thank the Writer as she lovingly fingers the new Page.

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD. Psalm 113:9

Damned if you do, damned if you don't

I do not advocate smacking for every tiny infringement that a child makes, and as an abused child, I definitely can see where corporal punishment on a regular basis could lead to raising a nervous child who lacks self-confidence and who exhibits a fearful demeanour.

However, I do believe in the scriptures which admonish us to not spare the rod and ruin the child... and in practice, I have found an occasional but controlled smack over the seat of the pants, does no harm. In fact, it gives children boundaries. And perversely, it makes children feel loved because of it.

I remember a few years ago, my daughter and I went clothes shopping. Her 3 year old son ran amok in Target, knocking clothes off racks and running into people. We tried to restrain him, but he just continued wreaking havoc. People were giving us disgusted looks. Finally, in desperation, my daughter gave her son a quick and controlled smack over his bottom which brought him immediately into line.

Alas, she was confronted with angry looks and tut tuts from fellow shoppers for smacking him! Almost in tears, she remarked loudly enough for them to hear that she was damned if she did, and damned if she didn't smack him to bring him into line.

Sometimes a smack over the 'seat of learning' works really well... but it is now a sad thing to be afraid to do it for fear of being reported to authorities. I feel sorry for young mums today...they are living in a world which mostly has turned its back on godly wisdom. We are paying the price by bringing up children who rule us....

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths. Isaiah 3:12

I have gotten a man!

In joyful love and amazement the young Eve’s heart lurched

As she gazed at the infant she’d just brought to birth,

And the depth of her love took her quite by surprise

As she looked at Cain’s face with its big blue eyes.
This gift from the LORD brought her to first know..
Pain mingled with joy which followed to show
A mother's love...

How perfectly shaped his head covered in fine down
What strength in his grip on her finger he clasped round,
How tiny each feature, how perfect, how flawless-

How soft was the skin still wet from the waters

That protected and comforted him just moments ago

When the world still had no babe nor mother to know

A mother’s love…

Joy swept through her previously unknown;

Eve knew it was the same joy God towards her had shown-

Feelings of elation in the life of a new living being

And possibilities of shared love previously unseen;

Deep feelings of protection and for the nurturing of

This delightful new creature and object of

A mother’s love…

This love felt so strange as it burst in Eve’s soul

And she knew that as a woman she truly felt whole,

For she sensed that as a mother she took a part in creation,

And thanking God, full of thankful celebration,

She lifted her son to the Father above,

Amazed by the strength and power of

A mother’s love…

All through the ages this same love formed in Eve’s heart

Has been passed down to her daughters as they too take part

In the greatest of mysteries known to man,

The strong feeling of partnership in God’s plan

Of the birth and the nurture and the survival of

God’s most precious of blessings so needful of

A mother’s love.

“ I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord.” Genesis 4:1

I refuse to stay in the Pit of Despair!

Depression is often related to one having a sense of loss to something dear to them. In my case I am grieving the loss of my adult children's affection and the feeling that to them I am already dead. I have been tossed out like an old shoe.

Second is the fact that they aren't very nice people and I suspect that one way or the other, I have failed as a mum...

So I had a time of prayer and during that I felt that as far as mothering goes, how they now act as adults is not my fault. I know now that God knows I did bring them all up in the faith and they were taught to be honest and decent people.

I have now decided that I will not stress about not seeing my new great granddaughter or even grandchildren... it is pointless to bond with them when I wont probably see them... I will not waste my last few years waiting for a word from them or even acknowledgement that I exist... if they cared, they would call

So now I am going to move forward and enjoy as much as possible those who do love me and want me in their life...

The hardest lesson I think was to realise that my love for them is not reciprocated and I am not important or valued much in their life at all. It's a bitter pill but once taken, it helps alleviate the grief of unrequited love...

So I am going to move forward and start thinking of positive things, like Chris and those in my family who do love me...

Another lesson was that even though I have no expectation of a relationship and have pulled back to stop hurting, it does not mean I don't love them... it just has to be from afar as they are toxic to me. At this stage of my life, I just need peace. And that doesn't mean I am selfish...

I refuse to stay in the Pit of Despair!

Cast me not off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength faileth. Psalm 71:9

Not everyone's love has grown cold

The global fertility has dropped and therefore can this be an indication that we are in the end days?

I think yes we are, but we still have to live a godly life and not give in to fear.

This is also because generally self is on the throne and children are not considered a blessing.

For some they are a consequence of biological entrapment and are easily gotten rid of.

People use many reasons as an excuse, but most of them go against what God wants for His people.

Feminism has had a big part in turning people off having children and many women have put off motherhood until too late, to become childless and unhappy women.

There's no finer career than being a full time wife and mother and the usual urge to procreate is God-given and sacred.

This sad world needs babies and pregnancy and breast feeding, and booties and prams. Every child is wanted by God and its birthright is to be loved and later on to love.

As long as this world is turning, babies should be cherished and wanted and rocked and loved. For babies are a Gift from our Creator God.

In truth, it seems that what pleases God these days is disregarded and the evil one is having a field day.

The love of many grows cold and sin is increasing, so it can be a sign that we are nearing the end times..

We need to stand firm in our faith and live our life according to godly principles. Making families and bearing children is something that will please God and be an eternal treasure.

Let's keep on keeping on in trust and faith and invest in eternal treasures. Because even in these end days, not everyone's love has grown cold.

“See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” Ephesians 5:15-17

I would still sit alone

When I was working in an office about 20 years ago, we would all take our lunch together in the tea room. We ate and chatted and sometimes one particular very self opiniated woman would preside over our talks.

She was very proud of her son who had graduated as a pharmacist and who had his own pharmacy. We saw no harm in that: we would have been proud of his achievements if he was our own son. But one day, she overstepped the mark and upset quite a few women at the table. Myself included.

One of the conversations centred around drug addicts and she declared them all to be a waste of space and definitely would be better off overdosing and dying and getting it over with.

At the time I was a mother of two drug addicted sons who I love dearly and pray for daily with the gut wrenching and desperate prayers that only a mother prays- I took exception to that.

With my stomach turning ill, I picked up my sandwich and took my cup of tea out of the tea room and ate and drank it in my car. She really was too much. I wanted my sons to be delivered and live.

From that day on, I avoided eating my lunch in the tearoom, especially if she was there, but one day I was asked by my boss to make him a coffee, and one of my former lunchtime companions was there.

She asked me directly why I never ate with the women anymore and I told her the truth. I told her that so and so was so hurtful in the things she says and so prideful of her son that she had no consideration that there may be mothers there with prodigal and wayward children who were also drug addicted.

To my surprise, she shared that she too was no longer taking her lunchbreak with so and so because she too had a drug addicted son and it was just too painful to consider that he was better off overdosing.

I said that I was praying for my sons and that I live in fear that they will overdose and I cannot sit and listen to her without feeling sick to the stomach.

She agreed and said that was why she too took her lunchbreak in her car away from her as well. We both agreed that one had to be feeling strong to listen to her raving.

One who doesn't have wayward or prodigal children like so and so had, can not imagine the constant fear when the phone rings that it will be news that her child has indeed overdosed. It gnaws at a mother's heart constantly.

As a Christian, all life is precious and all drug addicts have been enticed by carnal desires and instant gratification and this is something that is very hard to break from. Even with the LORD. Such is the hold from drugs that many have succumbed to their addiction praying for deliverence. And they are saved. They are, because Jesus died for our past, present and future sin. And addiction is sin.

There is hope in Christ and today one of my sons has broken from addiction and can testify that God heard my prayers. I continue to pray for the other who battles with it even while loving the LORD.

To tell me that either of these sons or even your son or daughter who battles drug or alcohol addictions is better off dead is evil. It limits God's ability to heal and deliver us and negates His Blood, and sees only successful humans as worthy of that. None of us are worthy but are sinners saved by Grace.

Nothing has changed my mind about her and people like her: if I turned back the clock, I would still sit alone.

For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s. Romans 14:8

There are no unwanted children in God’s sight

How many times have we heard disbelief and dismay of relatives and friends when it is discovered that a new life is on the way? And worse still, how many people have (hopefully only for a moment), thought or worse still, actually voiced that they may very well terminate it? It’s a fact that quite a large percentage of babies weren’t actually planned, but that is only in our thinking. There are no accidents or unwanted children in God’s sight.

Do you know that God blesses us with conception and withholds conception as a punishment?

Gen 49:25 [Even] by the God of thy father, who shall help thee; and by the Almighty, who shall bless thee with blessings of heaven above, blessings of the deep that lieth under, blessings of the breasts, and of the womb: That is not to say that women trying to conceive are being punished, of course. But in scripture, God encourages us to be fruitful vines and says we will be saved in childbearing.
Exd 1:7 And the children of Israel were fruitful, and increased abundantly, and multiplied, and waxed exceeding mighty; and the land was filled with them.
Lev 26:9 For I will have respect unto you, and make you fruitful, and multiply you, and establish my covenant with you
Psa 128:3 Thy wife [shall be] as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.
1Ti 2:15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

And again when the house of Abimelech had Sarah, Abraham’s wife in his harem posing as Abraham’s sister, God closed all the wombs in the palace. That was how Abimelech knew something was amiss in his house! Why? Because the blessing of conception was withheld!

Gen 20:2 And Abraham said of Sarah his wife, She [is] my sister: and Abimelech king of Gerar sent, and took Sarah.
Gen 20:3 But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, Behold, thou [art but] a dead man, for the woman which thou hast taken; for she [is] a man's wife.
Gen 20:4 But Abimelech had not come near her: and he said, Lord, wilt thou slay also a righteous nation?
Gen 20:8 Therefore Abimelech rose early in the morning, and called all his servants, and told all these things in their ears: and the men were sore afraid.
Gen 20:9 Then Abimelech called Abraham, and said unto him, What hast thou done unto us? and what have I offended thee, that thou hast brought on me and on my kingdom a great sin? thou hast done deeds unto me that ought not to be done.
Gen 20:10 And Abimelech said unto Abraham, What sawest thou, that thou hast done this thing?
Gen 20:14 And Abimelech took sheep, and oxen, and menservants, and womenservants, and gave [them] unto Abraham, and restored him Sarah his wife.
Gen 20:15 And Abimelech said, Behold, my land [is] before thee: dwell where it pleaseth thee.
Gen 20:17 So Abraham prayed unto God: and God healed Abimelech, and his wife, and his maidservants; and they bare [children].
Gen 20:18 For the LORD had fast closed up all the wombs of the house of Abimelech, because of Sarah Abraham's wife.

God has formed us in the secret place and knits our bodies together.

Isa 44:2 Thus saith the LORD that made thee, and formed thee from the womb, [which] will help thee; Fear not, O Jacob, my servant; and thou, Jesurun, whom I have chosen.
Isa 44:24 Thus saith the LORD, thy redeemer, and he that formed thee from the womb, I [am] the LORD that maketh all [things]; that stretcheth forth the heavens alone; that spreadeth abroad the earth by myself; He saw our form before we had one- He knows us before we are born!
Gen 25:23 And the LORD said unto her, Two nations [are] in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and [the one] people shall be stronger than [the other] people; and the elder shall serve the younger.
Gen 25:24 And when her days to be delivered were fulfilled, behold, [there were] twins in her womb.
Jer 1:5 Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, [and] I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

We are all unique- even identical twins are not identical in every sense. Each person conceived is special in the LORD’S sight! How it must grieve Him when we express shock and dismay at His wonderful gift of conception!

The godly woman will understand that she is being blessed when she discovers a new life is coming- she will welcome children as a gift from the LORD.

Psa 127:3 Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward. And again we see a blessing!
Gen 29:31 And when the LORD saw that Leah [was] hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel [was] barren.

But the ungodly often will react quite differently, spurning the blessing and often taking means to reject it! My heart grieves for those blessings disposed of heartlessly when many a woman desperate for a child would be more than willing to bring it up.

God has a purpose and plan for our lives- even known before we are born. To reject the great gift of conception is to reject one of the greatest gifts and blessings that God can bestow on us. For although a child may not fit in with our plans, God can undertake to provide both materially and emotionally for that child. There are absolutely no accidents, no mistakes in timing, no inconveniences in God’s plan!

I have seen women who vowed to reject the gift of conception by terminating it, bond so intensely with the child when it is in their arms, that they give praise to God for the “inconvenience” and bless Him for their child. I also have known countless couples reject their gift of conception by submitting to sterilisation- only to regret it at a later date. Often a reversal does not repair that which was “fixed” when it was not broken. They pay a high price often, for trying to play a role of life-giver or rejecter- a role that is God’s alone!

How precious indeed is the gift of a child, and indeed the gift of conception. May we never take this gift lightly, or reject it or be dismayed! God’s plans and thoughts are so much higher than ours!

Jer 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

For God, there are no unwanted children. If only all people would understand that!

Nostalgia and regrets

As a great-grandmother, I know the depth of nostalgia and regrets' bite. My mothering days are gone and I regret the many times I was not there for my children due to prolonged hospitalisation due to spinal problems.

Some regrets come from being so busy with the running of the home that I didn't have time to play much with my children.

I think it's so easy to overlook people in our busyness in this fast world. Even our husbands, and particularly our babies.

The time flies and the infant in the crib is suddenly a young adult and driving. Or having babies of their own.

If we don't stop to smell the roses along life's path, or take the time to actually enjoy the people in our life, then when we finally come to a stop, we will have nothing but regrets.

Pictures of those days are lovely, but they do not replace the living in those days. In fact, if the memories aren't there, those pictures can make the nostalgia worse.

Have no regrets in the future by enjoying those around you and try not to allow the vissitudes of life to rob you of quality time with those you love.

Jesus said that each day brings its own worries and that worrying or fussing won't change much.

Love your family now. Nostalgia is very real with regrets coming a close second...

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Thrown out like an old shoe.

As you know, I have just turned 70. It has been a rough ride yet filled with lots of joy and blessings.

A lot of the joy in my life has been my children, grandchildren and now great-grandchildren. I loved everything related to motherhood...

I had four children under five years and it was a very busy time. Especially with illness that lodged at our house in the form of my spinal disease, glandular fever and depression.

As a mother at 19, I accepted the responsibility of motherhood and I brought up 4 children under 5. At the tender age of 39, I welcomed my first grandchild into the world. I cared for her during her first year due to her mother being unwell with post natal depression.

As my children and now adult grandchildren grew, I was still involved in their lives if I was wanted. And I was wanted, or so I thought.

I thought I was a caring, loving woman who gave kind and solid advice if asked. I did my best to help and support them in times of trouble. I cried for them. I prayed for them.

Recently, I have noticed a drop off of contact, both personal and by phone or computer. I am texted for my birthday, Christmas and other occasions of interest like Mother's Day.

I long for them to just drop in and sit and have a cuppa. It rarely happens. Not like when we regularly had lunch or a cuppa together, but since Chris and I are now unable to leave home due to not being able to walk or drive, we don't.

I see now that a lot of this is because they have to come to us now, not us go to them. We're an inconvenience.

It hurts. It isn't easy to sit alone reminiscing about your younger days, loving your now grown children and grandchildren and being passed over and ignored.

It hurts that because of health issues in old age, one is condemned to days of loneliness and longing for the phone to ring or a text on social media.

And social media sometimes is employed simply as a way of following family and saving pictures of them and their children. At least one feels that there's still some connection.

Knowing that you gave your best years to your family with little to show in return brings a real wave of sadness- because you know you would do it again if given the chance.

But there's no second chance in old age. One is forgotten as the world turns on the axis of youth. The elderly are ostracised and abandoned... thrown out like an old shoe.

Cast me not off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength faileth. Psalm 71:9

It's all good

I have always sought to live my life according to God's Word, and I have tried to encourage other Christian women in their walk. Over the five years that I have written of God's wonderful plan for us as wives, mothers and homemakers, I have been impressed with how the 5 areas of priority in our lives overlap so much that at times I have had to categorise them by adding all the 5 areas to each post. Let me explain.

Just a quick recap of the five areas of service for the Christian woman and wife in order of priority:

Husband

Children

Home

Church

We must serve God and have Him first in our life. "He hath shewed thee, O man, what [is] good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?" Micah 6:8

Because everything is spiritual in our life, I have discovered that when we serve our husbands, we are serving Christ. " Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as is fit in the Lord " Colossians 3:18 "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy" 1 Corinthians 7:14

When we look after our home, we are serving God, our husband and our children. "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully." 1 Timothy 5:14

Serving in church or serving in God's Name is important but should not come before all the other 4 priorities are in order. (widows) " well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work" 1 Timothy 5:10

I have found that often I cannot place a post under just one category because it is so closely correlated to the other categories of service. This is because everything in our lives is spiritual. When we consider the umbrella of God's protection as well, we can see that God's plan for our lives is amazing. We have everything here to guide us as wives, mothers and homemakers. We can be sure that we are living our lives in a way that is pleasing to God and in keeping with His Word.

It is not only comforting to know that God's Word guides us in our daily living, but it is also amazing that we can know with a certainty that God not only approves of us being wives, mothers and homemakers, but that He calls most of us to be that!

If God has called us to be a wife with all that entails, then let us rejoice in His plan for our life. In doing so, we can be partners with God in His greatest creation: people who will love Him and live for eternity with Him! And we will live an abundant life full of blessings as Christ has promised.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Backslidden children: God gently leads them back.

As mothers and grandmothers, we often feel like failures when our children stop following the LORD and are backslidden. In spite of training our children and teaching them about the LORD, they seem to be departing from The Way and it can send us into a panic.

I can understand how you can feel a failure, but your children have to make certain decisions for themselves as they grow up. Walking the path of faith is a deeply personal daily choice. We cannot make them believe nor can we save them.

The five children I bought up (from ages 49-43 plus a grandchild now 29) have been brought up in the faith. My own children made a confession of faith when young and were all baptised by immersion. Two of them are now living for the LORD and two of them are backslidden but still consider themselves believers. My first grandchild is agnostic, almost a believer.

All we can do in spite of outward appearances is keep praying for God to change them. We as loving mothers or grandmothers don't know what work God is doing in their heart. We know that the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin, and we have to allow Him to do the work. Often trying to be the Holy Spirit just causes rebellion and hurt feelings and we just get in His way.

There was a stage I thought that none of them believed, but praise God, what was taught them from their youth has resurfaced. So I encourage you not to blame yourself either and to keep praying and believing that your prodigals or backsliders will walk in The Way. God often meets them in the wilderness and gently leads them back on the Straight Path..

The soul that sinneth, it shall die. The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son: the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him. Ezekiel 18:20

Investing in eternal treasures

Many years ago, I studied Anne Ortlund’s Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman with a group of ladies. We discussed Mrs. Ortlund's ideas and agreed that, apart from a lot of good ideas for us being disciplined in our lives, she was off base regarding our priorities as women. For our priorities are clear in God's Word:

God
Husband
Children
Home
Church
Outreach

We decided on this in light of Titus 2 and other verses, and I believe that this is, indeed, the best way to prioritise our lives. Outside ministries are fine, provided that your husband agrees and is supportive of it and that your children and household duties are not neglected. Our biggest ministry is to our own family. We shortchange them when we are neglectful of them due to over commitment and tiredness.

How can it honour the LORD for us to give all our energy to others when our marriages may suffer and our children run wild? We end up giving the first fruits of our energy and commitment to others. I believe that we should see any form of ministry outside the home as secondary to the ministry of Mother and Wife. If duties are in order at home and your husband is not feeling neglected, then I believe you can engage in outside ministry with a happy heart.

Many women do not see the importance of their role as Mother and Wife and feel frustrated in not being able to participate in outside ministry. God has placed us in a ministry precisely because we are wives and/or mothers. We don't have to be discontented and looking for other ministries...we have our calling already.

I think placing priorities outside the biblical order jeopardises our happiness in our homes and families, and you can believe me, even service in ministry can be a lonely experience if you have lost those closest to you. When you put God's priorities in order, He is being served first, second, third, fourth, and fifth. He is all in all and in everything you do.

We need to invest more time in our marriages and families, not less, and to God will be all the glory when we raise godly children--future warriors for the LORD and bearers of His name.

Enjoy your calling, ladies; you are investing in eternal treasures.