Morning Cuppas With Glenys

The only Valentine's Day gift I needed

So yesterday was Valentine's Day and millions of lovers or would be lovers around the world celebrated with gifts, cards and romantic conversations.

To be honest, Chris and I don't usually celebrate it. "Why not?" you ask. We live Valentine's Day every day of the year. Our love is not acknowledged only once a year.

It has always been like this between us with no hurt feelings. We simply don't need it or find it necessary.

You can imagine my surprise when I read a message of love from Chris on my Facebook wall yesterday. I must confess, it was a happy surprise. You can believe me, I was quick to reply to it. It was fun...

Later on as Chris was saying Grace before we ate dinner, he thanked the LORD for our meal then he added, "..and thank You for my darling wife who cooked this meal, and please LORD, keep her safe!"

"What did you mean, Chris when you asked the LORD to keep me safe?" I asked when he had finished.

"Well, I can not bear to live without you: I asked Him to keep you safe!" he responded. I was misty-eyed and I told him how lovely that was to hear. He rose and came round the table to me and kissed me.

It was the only Valentine's Day gift I needed or wanted.

‘The heart of her husband safely trusts her: so he will have no lack of gain: she does him good and not evil all the days of her life’ Proverbs 31: 11-12

Keeping the homefires burning

Lately I have had a really long and debilitating fibromyalgia flare. I think it was brought on by stressing about my son who had a large kidney stone removed and was suffering badly with his kidney stent.

With over 50 renal stones and 5 surgeries to remove them, I literally felt his pain. He has been out of work due to his ordeal for 6 weeks and so it has been a worry to him and to me..

My fibromyalgia flare has effected my eyes some days. I have trouble focussing especially when reading and I have had double vision. That has been accompanied with the usual pain and the fatigue is out of this world.

I have found that just running our home to a basic plan has been more than enough for my body and after I do a few household chores, I feel so weak that I almost vomit. I just have to take a nana nap.

The life of a Sacrificial HomeKeeper is not an easy one. But we somehow push through those walls of fatigue and at least keep the homefires burning...

"I love you LORD my strength!" Psalm 18:1

Soon. Very soon.

Every night before I try to sleep, I pray that we will be raptured before dawn.... every morning as soon as I wake, I pray today will be the day.... Meanwhile, He is with us in Spirit..

To be with Him you must be born again. Read here to find out how to become a Christian.. Make the most important decision of your life and accept Christ while there's still time.

We will be with Him soon. Very soon.

Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him. With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation. -Psalm 91:14-16

“A Meditation”

Now I lay me down to sleep

As the day departs

And the sun’s long rayed fingers

Streak downward and disappear,

I meditate on my bed

And think of You, Lord.

I think of Your great mercies

As You kept me safe today,

And I delight in knowing You love me,

Even now as I lay reflecting on

Mistakes and sins of the day-

Forgiven and forgotten

As soon as I acknowledge them before You.

I can rest secure knowing

That even as I sleep,

You are watching over me,

Even me,

Whilst You sustain the world

And call the stars out by name.

Because of Your goodness and faithfulness,

I can sleep at peace,

Knowing that You will be with me now,

And tomorrow,

And forevermore.

‘I meditate on You in the night watches’ Psalm 63:6

Cooking is a ministry

Lately with diabetes and heart failure causing Chris to lose his appetite, it has become more important than ever to prepare food for him that he enjoys.

Illness makes one's taste buds change and so the menu I prepare and the ingredients I buy constantly change.

I have to ask him on the day what he fancies to eat and I literally have to coax him to have some food. It can be very challenging.

In order to keep abreast of Chris's changing tastes in food, I keep a whiteboard on my fridge, jotting down things that he enjoyed and I glean Pinterest for ideas on meals. If Chris says he would like to try a recipe I find, it goes on that list too.

When my uncle lived with my mother, and later on my step-father, both of them lived beyond what the doctors expected (cancer and emphysema), and I credit that to Mum's good and plain cooking.

Chris knows this and forces himself to eat sometimes, but he never finishes a meal. Because a large plate of food nauseates him, I serve them in smaller plates. You learn as you go along.

I can well remember my ailing step-father Max sitting eating without obvious enjoyment and I asked him if he liked the meal. His answer has stayed in my mind to be implemented now in Chris's time of illness.

He said nothing was wrong with the meal, but his appetite was gone and he only eats because he knows he has to. And so I tell Chris when he refuses to eat. I remind him of what Max said. So he eats.

Nutritionally, all of Chris's blood tests come back normal. So he's getting enough iron and so on..

With cutting carbs and sugar as well as lack of teeth thrown into the mix, it can get frustrating at times. I make it a priority to include these needs into my prayer time each morning along with a request for necessary spoons (energy) with my fibromyalgia.

Apart from wisdom in meal preparation, God's been teaching me patience, kindness and endurance... and because nutrition is so important to us, I know the Man Who cooked breakfast for His disciples doesn't mind at all... cooking is a ministry!

"When they landed, they saw a charcoal fire there with fish on it, and some bread. Jesus told them, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.” So Simon Peter went aboard and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many, the net was not torn.

“Come, have breakfast,” Jesus said to them. None of the disciples dared to ask Him, “Who are You?” They knew it was the Lord. Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them, and He did the same with the fish." -John 21:9-12

Don't relinquish your role!

As you probably know, in my first 25 year marriage, I was an abused wife. But along with physical abuse, I was daily subjected to disrespect and psychological stress.

By the time I was married for about 15 years, I was broken physically and emotionally. I was in hospital frequently for a spinal disease called Sheurmann's Disease, and for surgery to remove kidney stones. Each time I came home, the disrespect was worse.

After a few years of this, I noticed that my daughter, who was a teenager at the time, was changing her attitude towards me. She became cheeky and sassy and answered me back constantly. Whenever I appealed for some backup from her father, he would defend her. I felt isolated and lonely in my own home.

As she grew older, I noticed that they both talked more than he and I did, and there was a definite bond and camaraderie. I felt like the third wheel.

In the morning I would make my beds and maintain my home, and when my daughter came home from school, she would pull them all back and redo them, stating that they weren't made properly.

Often my ex-husband would come home to unmade beds and he would start screaming at me, swearing and calling me horrid names. He didn't believe me when I told him I had made them and that she had pulled them back for me to make again. Honestly, with my ill health, once a day was enough for me to find the strength to make them.

In the end, I didn't make them, letting her do them when she got home from school. It was just wasting my precious spoons (energy) for nothing- they would be remade and I would get a tongue lashing regardless.

I think this was where the rug was pulled from under my feet. I gradually was treated like a naughty child by both my ex-husband and my eldest daughter. In fact when we were moving house and it was time to choose the colours and tiles etc, they conferred and I was just informed what it would be.

To say that I was not mistress of my own home is an understatement. I was an annoying lazy freeloader according to them. I couldn't work outside the home and they begrudged me anything at all.

When finally I could no longer keep any food down due to fear and depression, and sick of punched arms and bruises, I decided to leave. And in my confusion, I grabbed some clothes pegs with my clothes and this was duly reported to her father who demanded them to be returned.

I don't believe even today that there was any sexual connection with my daughter and her father, but there was a bond that cemented them together, but which excluded me. And I was powerless to change it and my cries for marriage counselling fell on deaf ears. It became too much.

Truly, three in a marriage is never what God intended. Nor did He intend for a man to cleave to his daughter and deny his wife due regard and respect. It is not a normal marriage.

So why do I tell you this? you ask. Because you must find the strength to fight being made an outsider in your role as a wife, mother and home maker. You simply must demand respect from your husband, even if it exhausts you. You must insist on respect from your children.

I wish I had been aware of this earlier and been firmer, but I can only say that I was beaten down so badly by him and chronic illness, that I could hardly stand. Start defending your right to be a wife and a respected mother. Your role is ordained by God. Don't relinquish it.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

“I will give children to be their princes, and babes shall rule over them.." Isaiah 3:4

But by the grace of God go I

As you probably know, I suffer from a myriad of health issues from life threatening to annoying. Each day is a constant struggle to keep my home and look after Chris and myself and our little white cat, Xena.

Recently, I read an article about chronically ill bloggers who use the internet to feed their latent Munchausen's disease The writer who obviously is not suffering an invisible chronic illness, concludes- falsely that we are feeding a desire for attention and sympathy.

This writer had no medical expertise and spoke with the confidence and freedom of a healthy person who knows nothing of the pain every day brings to us who aren't so blessed. It made me both angry and sad.

Anyone who manages to carry on a relatively "normal" life, sacrificing their comfort to serve and love those closest to them, know that the only thing we really desire is compassion. We rarely take delight in our symptoms, in fact the majority of us try very hard to appear as a healthy person in spite of being in pain and discomfort.

Goodness knows, we suffer so much with people judging us unkindly and this simply serves to push us further into depression and loneliness. Especially when our illness is invisible, like fibromyalgia.

Many of us chronically ill people are housebound for the most part, and therefore we feel a certain amount of loneliness and disjointment from society. We simply want to be respected and allowed to simply exist without the stigma of mental disease in the form of Munchausen's.

We bloggers of chronic illness do so because we know the feeling of disenfranchisement in a social sense. We are stripped of our right to live in peace and freedom from bullying ignorant people.

Writing for those who suffer like we do helps us to reach out to people who would understand the psychological insulation and the sting of being misjudged and categorised as a malingering attention seeker.

Whilst it is true that we have the LORD to love us unconditionally, it nevertheless hurts us that people are so cruel and instrumental in adding ridiculous labels to us that demoralise us even further.

Chronic illness and pain is a horrid way to live and those who cast stones at us would do well to thank God that they aren't so afflicted. God has not chosen them to walk the lonely path of chronic illness and they also would do well to remember "but by the grace of God, go I"

Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. 3 John 1:2

No spoons required

So yesterday was a really good day. In spite of my fibromyalgia flaring and angina. But it's because of those things that today has been so good.

My diary showed a doctors' appointment to attend, then the chemist for scripts and then the inevitable grocery shop for the week. A full day for a chronically ill person.

I thought it through and decided to ring the clinic and change a face to face consult with a phone one. Then I rang the chemist to advise them that the script I owed them for some blood pressure tablets would be coming in the afternoon. Then I arranged the medicines to be delivered to me.

Then grabbing a cup of tea, I did my online shop and arranged delivery of it for tomorrow. And I played Candy Crush until the doctor rang me.

He arranged for the escripts to be sent directly to our chemist. I made another cup of tea as the doorbell rang- the girl with our medicines delivered them very promptly.

Cooking a simple meal, I found I had energy to work on my crochet project until bedtime. I had plenty of energy as all the errands had been done with no spoons required.

Above reproach

Recently I read about the high incidence of pastors being in involved in pornography. Pornography is sin. It is sex.

As Christians we are called to be apart from the world, not in it. We are called to be holy. We are called to bring our thoughts under the captivity of Christ.

Pastors have a greater accountability to Christ as handlers of the Word. They should not be involved in the works of darkness themselves and should be denouncing it from the pulpit.

Why is pornography wrong? you ask.

Pornography invalidates the one flesh relationship of the covenant of marriage.
It denigrates married love to animal baseness and allows women to be used as sex objects instead of loved tenderly.
Women who engage in pornography also tend to treat men with little respect.
It encourages selfish love making and greater expectation of the act
It can make a woman feel dirty and effects her relationship with her husband if he watches it
It creates a lustful mindset that overflows into the heart and becomes sinful actions.
It encourages a roving eye and Jesus says that is adultery in the heart therefore sin.

Satan has hoodwinked society into believing that pornography is fine, but the results are catastrophic. Everything that God has said is good, Satan has substituted with evil.

Darkness is deepening. Christ is soon to return. Keep oil in your lamps. Keep your garments clean. Present yourself as a spotless Bride. Jesus Christ deserves a pure Bride-and She deserves pure minded pastors that should be leading them in holiness, having holy and clean hands as they touch the Word of God and they must be above reproach!

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God -Romans 12:2

More than a place to sleep

Recently someone asked why do we make our bed? I gave it some thought as I have recently been making my own bed daily, in spite of regularly going back into it for a nana nap. Here's a few thoughts on why I use my precious spoons to make my bed.

Physically its more comfortable to sleep in.

Psychologically its more inviting.

It makes the room visually more esthetically pleasing.

The bed's the centrepiece of the room like in a painting.

It gives the illusion of order and calm.

It uplifts my spirits when I come into my bedroom.

With fibromyalgia, angina and back problems, I make mine but often get back in it. So I remake it.

When I make it, I don't get on my knees as they are broken and I do not do hospital bed mitred corners. I pull up my top sheet, then turn back the minky blankets. With arthritic hands, the only tucks I do are at the bottom of the bed to secure the bedding...

But, being honest, I sometimes let it go when I have a fibro flare- being satified that the sheets and bedding is clean. But the majority of times, my beds are made.

Beds are more comfortable made up or at least straightened and are more than a place to sleep.

Like a cloak round the shoulders

When my youngest child, Dianne had Acute promyelocytic leukaemia, she was dangerously ill and in ICU three times. At one stage her kidneys were failing. Her body was shutting down.

They put her on dialysis three times and it was touch and go that she would make it through. You can imagine how I felt when they said they thought she was far too deteriorated to make it.

Naturally, I was asked to leave the ICU whilst they hooked her up, and to be honest, I just wanted to be alone. So I went down to the tea room for the patients and their family.

It suddenly hit me that I may never see Dianne alive again, and the horror of the last few weeks during which she was on chemo and reacted violently to it, overtook me and I cried.

Slumping down in the corner of the tiny tea room, I gave my daughter to God. He had every right to take her Home, but being a mother, I asked Him to spare her.

Goodness knows, Dianne was only 35 years old, a wife, and mother to three young children. She was needed here. Although she was a Christian and I knew she would be with the LORD, I wanted her here with me.

I prayed fervently, agreeing that whatever be His Will for her, that He was God. It was worse than the despair I felt when I gave birth to still born twin girls at 32 weeks. Up until then, I thought that was the worst thing that I had experienced. But I was wrong. Losing Dianne was something I couldn't endure.

Still slumped in the corner, I was overwhelmed with a peace that didn't make sense. Here we were in an emotional hell on earth, with Dianne's life hanging in the balance, and I was calm.

It was like a cloak of peace had been placed around my shoulders. It warmed me by routing the fear and it exuded a calm that permeated to my marrow. I knew it was the peace that passes all human understanding that God promises to us.

Because I was calm, I found my legs could still carry me- they were giving way to me in the tea room. I returned to the ICU where Dianne was on the dialysis.

I sat willing her to breathe and watching her breathing as if the very act was too tiring for her. I kissed her hand and silently prayed whilst she slept.

Three days later, she was being taught to walk again on the floor of the ICU and her kidney function was restored. Today, she is in remission for six years. They say it is extremely unlikely she will get APML back again...

This ordeal has shown me that we do have a Saviour Who is very involved in His childrens' lives. He is a good Father Who comforts His children when all else fails.

If Dianne had been called Home, I would not have lost faith in Him. But mercifully, He allowed her to live.

The warmth of the Peace He gave me in my most extreme anguished pain, is proof to me that He is a God of His Word. He truly gives us peace that is beyond understanding.

Call on the LORD in your own anguish and see that He is a caring and compassionate Father. There's nothing like His Cloak of Peace around your shoulders.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

Searching for some spoons

So Chris wasn't feeling well, so we didn't get out yesterday. I ordered $30 worth of groceries through Woolworths online. We have to pick them up at 1pm. It's so handy to shop like that. After that I need to get some prescriptions made up and go to the Post Office.

I managed to do all those dishes yesterday, with just last night's pots and pans to wash today. Tonight I will shower. If I do it this morning, I will run out of spoons and won't make it for the errands later.   

It's hard searching for spoons and finding none, knowing that you have to do certain errands like shopping and getting medicines. And the tricky thing is when you find some, they disappear before you can put them to good use, and you find you need to take a nana nap just to accomplish it.

I know with talking to other Fibromites that I am not alone, as having no spoons seems to be a typical symptom of fibromyalgia. So for the next few hours before I pick up the groceries, you know where I'll be: searching for some spoons.