Sometimes you just have to be separate



Night time has proven to be a difficult time for Chris and I.  We both have problems sleeping and often we keep each other awake.

Chris has osteoarthritis in his hips and shoulder and finds it hard to drop off to sleep. His legs are restless and jumpy and painful he often suffers from bad calf muscle cramps. It is not unusual for me to find him making himself a cup of tea in the middle of the night because he can't sleep. Plus we both have sleep apnea.

But more often than that, it is I who makes it hard for him. I usually go to bed full of pain and can't really get to sleep unless Chris rubs my back. He is very good like that and I usually get to sleep quickly. However, I grind my teeth in my sleep, stop breathing for about a minute, and snore. 

My medications cause GERD which has resulted in me having aspiration pneumonia and left me with asthma. I often wake up unable to breathe, and need to use my inhaler. My blood-thinners Clopidogrel and aspirin (for my stents in my heart to stay open and for antiphospholipid syndrome), cause me to have nosebleeds in my sleep as well.  Poor Chris is often disturbed again with this. So we are not good night time company.

Obviously, not all these things happen every night, but a good lot do and we have often considered sleeping in separate rooms. However, I have a problem with that because I love cuddles and sex if it happens, and I love sleeping in Chris's arms until I drop off to sleep. It has been our custom for the 24 years we have been married.

So we have worked out a strategy for staying close, yet sleeping separately. Chris will come to bed with me, and when I am asleep, he will come out to sleep by himself if he can't drop off.  We haven't actually got another bedroom set up in our new small house, so Chris sleeps in the recliner rocker. 

We are very passionate with each other and very demonstrative and we often sit watching TV holding hands. So there is no problem with closeness. And there is no problem with sleeping separately for the most part.

This situation is not ideal, but when chronic illness threatens to deprive others of their needed rest, something has to be done. We don't see any harm coming into our marriage through separate rooms, in fact, we think under the circumstances, it would enhance it...sometimes you just have to be separate.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


"When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet. ” Proverbs 3:24

A clean house makes me happy



"To the contemporary mind, the idea that happiness depends on good housekeeping might seem quaint or odd. A century or two ago, and in fact until the past few decades, it was taken for granted, and the quality of housekeeping was not beneath the attention of such great novelists as Jane Austen and Leo Tolstoy." -Cheryl Mendelson, Home Comforts: The Art & Science of Keeping House

I think this true in my own life anyway. When my house runs smoothly and is in order, I feel in control but when it is disorganised or dirty, I feel irritable and unhappy. It is true that most people don't notice housework until it's not done, and that in itself doesn't bolster the home keepers' spirits. However, I have learnt to focus on the end result. It helps me get through the mundane cleaning.

There is a scripture that says that without a vision the people perish and I often equate housework with this verse. Unless we visualise the finished result of a clean house, we will often neglect doing it and miss the mark completely as regards of being a good home keeper. Like it or not, good housekeeping creates happiness. If we lose sight of that, we will be people without a vision!

Funnily enough, when my house is clean and tidy, I find am less anxious and I find it easier to relax as a clean house makes me happy.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


Where [there is] no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy [is] he. Proverbs 29:18

The Holy Spirit says, "Come!"


For those of us who regularly read the Bible, it is very apparent that even though we read of a powerful God Who chastises and punishes the wicked, we also see a kind, patient, lovingly holy God Who is full of mercy. 

The fact that God is merciful and holy is woven throughout scripture, both in the Old and the New testaments, and those who only see a harsh, punitive God have not truly read the Bible with an open heart and mind. 

Mercy, grace, justice, love, honour, fairness and compassion are hallmarks of our God Who loved us all enough to send His only Son to die for us when we were still sinners and unloving and unkind. 

The very Laws laid down in the 10 Commandments and then in Leviticus reveal a God Who knows what is best for His creation, and Who longs to teach His Children so that they will not only thrive but be holy. 

When we study the Word, a beautiful picture of our God is shown us through the Word and through His Son Jesus. He embodies the qualities of the Holy Spirit, Who Himself is the third Person of the Godhead. Here is an example of the mercy of God.

Do not let the son of the foreigner who has joined himself to the Lord speak, saying, “The Lord has utterly separated me from His people”; nor let the eunuch say, “Here I am, a dry tree.” For thus says the Lord: “To the eunuchs who keep My Sabbaths,and choose what pleases Me, and hold fast My covenant, even to them I will give in My house and within My walls a place and a name better than that of sons and daughters; I will give [a]them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off". Isaiah 56:3-5

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, self-control and mercy are all qualities of the goodness of our God. He is in fact the totality of Holiness

It is because of God's Holiness, in that He is the essence and being of the above qualities is why He sent His Son to become sin in our place for He cannot abide with evil. Therefore, it is impossible to come into the Presence of God except through Jesus Christ. We must be born again or saved or we will not go to heaven.

We all know the world is getting darker and soon Jesus is coming in the clouds to take His Church- believers. If you are not saved, you will be left behind to face a great tribulation such as the world has never seen before. Salvation is still possible because God is merciful but man is not. Your salvation will come at a great price: you will lose your life.

If you are not saved, know that the Holy Spirit is wooing you and longing for you to accept Jesus. Today is the day of salvation: the Holy Spirit says, "Come!"


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. Romans 10:10

My new maid servant

 



So as you probably know, I have had trouble keeping up to date with my dishes. No matter how good my intentions were, by the end of the day I had a sinkful of dishes waiting to be done.

Coming in to the kitchen first thing in the morning, I was always down as soon as I saw them waiting for me to find some spoons to attend to them. I know those who suffer from fibromyalgia like I do, would understand.

As we live in a rented house and we cannot change the plumbing to accommodate a dishwasher, I felt it was a never ending cycle that I couldn't break.

One day I was looking at the price of mobile dishwashers and I noticed that they make a dishwasher that you can park on your kitchen benchtop and I knew I wanted one. So we ordered one online. It's a Devanti.

It came yesterday and I am so pleased with it. It has hoses that attach to the taps in the kitchen sink. It takes a 8 place dinner service and does as good a job as the inbuilt ones. An added bonus is that I don't have to bend to stack and unstack it.

So not only does this dishwasher solve the problem of dishes piling up and no spoons, but saves my back from trying to bend. Ankylosing spondylitis is no joke. 

Anyway, I am overjoyed that the dishes are no longer my nemesis thanks to my new maid servant.




God sees the housewife as faithful


A
ll of us Christian wives who are seeking to live life according to God’s Word, are bombarded by feminist teaching and other unscriptural advice. We are further alienated from our sisters who work part-time because society sees them as contributing whereas it portrays us as parasitic!

So great is the attack on us, that often we sit scratching our heads and wondering if they could be right. As in all things, we would do well to seek what the Word of God says.

I have compiled some feminist and ungodly views and I have answered them with the Word. As always, we see the Truth of a housewife’s value in God’s sight is revealed in His Word. I am sure you can find other verses such as Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 that show how God feels about our work in the home.

Feminist and worldly view

“A parasite sucking out the living strength of another organism…the housewife’s labor does not even tend toward the creation of anything durable…. Woman’s work within the home is not directly useful to society, produces nothing. The housewife is subordinate, secondary, and parasitic. It is for their common welfare that the situation must be altered by prohibiting marriage as a ‘career’ for woman.” The Second Sex, 1949 by Simone de Beauvoir
Isaiah 3:11-13 Woe unto the wicked! it shall be ill with him: for the reward of his hands shall be given him. As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths. The LORD standeth up to plead, and standeth to judge the people.

“[The] housewife is a nobody, and [housework] is a dead-end job. It may actually have a deteriorating effect on her mind…rendering her incapable of prolonged concentration on any single task. [She] comes to seem dumb as well as dull. [B]eing a housewife makes women sick.” — Sociologist Jessie Bernard in The Future of Marriage, 1982.
Proverbs 31:27 “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat of the bread of idleness.”

“[As long as the woman] is the primary caretaker of childhood, she is prevented from being a free human being.” — Kate Millett, Sexual Politics, 1969.
Proverbs 31:28 “Her children arise and call her blessed…”

“[Housewives] are dependent creatures who are still children…parasites.” — Gloria Steinham, “What It Would Be Like If Women Win,” Time, August 31, 1970.
Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes

“[Housewives] are mindless and thing-hungry…not people. [Housework] is peculiarly suited to the capacities of feeble-minded girls. [It] arrests their development at an infantile level, short of personal identity with an inevitably weak core of self…. [Housewives] are in as much danger as the millions who walked to their own death in the concentration camps. [The] conditions which destroyed the human identity of so many prisoners were not the torture and brutality, but conditions similar to those which destroy the identity of the American housewife.” — Betty Frieden, The Feminine Mystique, 1963.
Psalm 127: 3-5 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

“[A]s long as the family and the myth of the family and the myth of maternity and the maternal instinct are not destroyed, women will still be oppressed…. No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one. It is a way of forcing women in a certain direction.” — Simone de Beauvoir, “Sex, Society, and the Female Dilemma,” Saturday Review, June 14, 1975
Titus 2:4-5 “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

[I]f even 10 percent of American women remain full-time homemakers, this will reinforce traditional views of what women ought to do and encourage other women to become full-time homemakers at least while their children are very young…. If women disproportionately take time off from their careers to have children, or if they work less hard than men at their careers while their children are young, this will put them at a competitive disadvantage vis-a-vis men, particularly men whose wives do all the homemaking and child care…. This means that no matter how any individual feminist might feel about child care and housework, the movement as a whole had reasons to discourage full-time homemaking.” — Jane J. Mansbridge, Why We Lost the ERA, 1986.
1 Timothy 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

We who make marriage and home our career usually do so at great personal expense. It is much more difficult to make ends meet on one wage and it is often made more difficult because of society’s general view of the stay at home wife and mother.  We become unwise when we look at our life's work in service to God and family through the world's eyes, not God's.  We must bring our thoughts into captivity of Christ....

In order to grasp the freedom and beauty of being a full time homemaker, we must come back periodically to the Word. Only in doing so will we see the true value of our calling in Christ, Who Himself came as a Servant to redeem us...


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: Philippians 2: 7

You wouldn't see June Cleaver doing that!

 


So today was a productive day. Apart from doing a few loads of washing, I had enough spoons to prepare some meals to freeze for during the week.

I confess I had a nana nap at "The Beach" aka the couch as the sun was shining and gave a beautiful warmth as I listened to the birds calling through the screen door.

Six more meals have been added to my freezer and I can say that it seems to be working out for me. I don't worry about cooking desserts- I usually serve some fruit with a scoop of icecream or a banana split. Easy.

With fibromyalgia  and other ailments making it difficult to achieve much, I can't tell you how pleased I am with my efforts today.

I feel quite the Homemaker and Chris is pleased as well. Only question is: does it still count if I did all this in my nightie? You wouldn't see June Cleaver doing that!


She got her answers!



The unnamed woman who touched Jesus's hem and was healed inspires me greatly. Not only a woman of faith, but of courage. 

In Jewish family purity law, a woman who has an issue of blood is considered unclean and is set apart from many functions. She is not considered clean until she has immersed herself in a ritual bath called a mikvah ten days after her issue has ceased. This is called Niddah.

For a woman to have an issue of blood for any reason meant she was virtually an outcast until after she was cleansed at the mikvah. Sadly, this woman would have been a lonely and desperate woman who had used all her livelihood on physicians who couldn't heal her.

I can just imagine her thoughts: can I be healed? I have seen Him do miracles. What if He is angry with me for defiling Him? Should I not touch His Hem? But what if He heals me- even me? What do I do?

Such was her desperation, that she risked the humiliation and condemnation by reaching out in faith- and her issue of blood was stanched immediately.

Jesus perceived that the woman had touched Him in faith and He stopped and asked who had touched Him. So many people around, yet Christ knew the touch of faith was different from the usual touch.

Fearfully, the woman confessed in front of all why she had touched His garment. Instead of anger, our LORD answered the woman, comforting her and declaring that through faith in Him, she was indeed healed.

This brave and faithful woman was never named, but her faith has been included in the gospels in Matthew 9:20, Mark 5:25, Luke 8:43-44.

I love the kindness of Christ in healing and comforting a woman suffering from a very lonely and personal condition. Her faith must have pleased Him immensely and it is no mistake that she was mentioned in those 3 gospels as a woman of faith. 

...Can I be healed? I have seen Him do miracles. What if He is angry with me for defiling Him? Should I not touch His Hem? But what if He heals me- even me? What do I do? - her thoughts and fears were met with Love, Grace, healing and no condemnation. What Compassion and Love of the Saviour! 

As I reflect on her story, I marvel that God did not allow her to be named because it would embarrass her, yet He honoured her with an eternal memorial in His Word.  Three times in fact!  Yes, I believe she got her answers! 


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


And, behold, a woman, which was diseased with an issue of blood twelve years, came behind him, and touched the hem of his garment: For she said within herself, if I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole. But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort, thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour. Matthew 9:20-22 

I am glad I have done this!


So I have been busy cooking those meals and freezing them as I mentioned in my last post. It has been quite an effort for me, but I think it's paid off.

I managed to get 30 meals cooked and in the freezer. I ran out of containers and room, so I had to place the food in plastic ziploc bags. No matter, because they will taste the same.

Last night I got a spaghetti bolognaise out, emptied it nicely thawed, onto a plate and nuked it for 3 minutes. It was great! I added shaved parmesan cheese and some salad and it was delicious! 

Yesterday my younger son turned 45 and we went to his place to wish him happy birthday. It's a 2 hour trip each way, so by the time we got home I was too exhausted to cook. So this came in handy. 

I have quite a few dishes to do today and I want to clean my kitchen well, so if I have enough spoons left, I want to cook four meals of chow mein with rice.

Sitting here talking to you, I feel like I am falling asleep and my muscles are aching badly. So I fear maybe another fibromyalgia flare is coming to pay me a visit. Just another reason I am glad I have done this! 




Hopefully it will work



So I have noticed that even on a rare good day with my fibromyalgia, I still have a dip in energy by 3 or 4pm. Usually that's my time to start preparing dinner. I simply run out of spoons.

Because I don't want to make eating frozen dinners the norm, I decided to try a new plan. I am going to cook a few weeks to a month ahead and freeze the meals.

Any day that I find myself having enough spoons, I will cook a few meals at the same time and gradually build this up to a month of meals in advance.

I know it's going to take a lot of planning, but I think in the end it will be worth it. I actually started yesterday.

Firstly, I went through my fridges and freezers and grouped meats together. Yesterday I made 4 meals each honey chicken with vegetables, potatoes and gravy, then another 2 meals of Mexican chicken with rice. Today I am going to bake the chicken rissoles and kievs and add mashed potato and greens.

The next day, God willing- and spoons available, I am going to cook some stews with a lot of vegetables, using up my pork and beef steaks. 

On the next Spoon Friendly Day, I plan to make up 6 meals with my sausages. I find my slow cookers- I have 3 of them, so handy plus they don't heat the kitchen up like the oven. We are in our summer at the moment.

I am not sure if I can freeze baked potatoes and bacon successfully, but if I can I will do that for lunches.

We will still be having salads with our meals but I buy the packet salads that are already cut and washed, and that not only saves on spoons but helps me with my arthritic hands.

I know this way is not a new thing to most people, but it is something new to me. Hopefully it will work. 







Some things only parents should share


My daughter-in-law and I were talking the other day, and she voiced some concerns she had with what the school was teaching her nine year old son. Specifically, very graphic and explicit sex education.

She showed me the home work that was among her son's school work to be sorted and thrown out. To say that it was explicit was an understatement. Far too much information for a child who was still eight years old to have to take on board. 

Now I believe children should be told about the facts of life, but only when it is necessary to explain the next phase of life as in adolescence or to explain Mum's tummy bulge that is a future sibling. But it is done with due respect to age, understanding and discretion.

I considered it my right and privilege to lead my children into adolescence and adulthood. Indeed, I would have felt angered if schools had taken it upon themselves to explain something as important as sex to my child. And my daughter-in-law felt the same.

We also have to remember that most schools are secular and consider most sexual activity and gender choices to be normal. Woe betide the Christian parent who wishes to impart godly principles of morality to their child. Once the lesson is given, it is never forgotten!

This young child and all his fellow classmates were taught that self-pleasure, homosexuality, transgenderism, and gay marriage are quite the norm. These children are forced to grow up before their years and have been robbed of their innocence. They have not been allowed to simply be children.

It is quite one thing to have a discussion of menarche for girls and puberty for boys in grade six, but these teachings of self gratification and descriptions of what a climax feels like to third graders is to my mind repulsive. It reeks of paedophilic tendencies in teachers that promote precociously sexually active babies who should be playing with their marbles and ipads instead of playing literal games of show and tell.

There was no permission granted for such a session or sessions and it was a great shock to come across these assignments when cleaning out the boy's school bag for the new year. Taking the authority from parents is a violation of our rights as parents to train and bring up our children in ways that we personally consider moral and Christian. 

It is a good case for homeschooling our children if we can because there are some things only parents should share.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Suffering is not our fault.


 I have tried not to dwell on my illnesses these days, but still find that I have to remember to do this:

Accepting that one's life is going to be difficult due to ongoing illness makes for a happier life. When the chronically ill person decides to give it to God, and to cling to Him instead of succumbing to false guilt, life takes on a normality in what many would see as anything but. It is a surrender, if you will.
Suffering does not make us second-class Christians, as some false teachings would purport. Nor does it mean we are faithless or aren't reading our Bibles or standing on the promises of God regarding healing.
Furthermore, being ill does not check us out of God's watchful Eye of concern, or mean that He is an uncompassionate God. No, we all are subject to frailties and problems in the flesh because we live in a fallen world... we have not been singled out to suffer...
God has given us things to do in our suffering and it is important that we stay close to Him and continue to read the Word and pray. It is not that God has moved, when He feels far away during a flare or illness, but our emotions are also hurting as a result of our condition.
It is important to pray that God heal us, and to ask the Church to anoint us with oil according to the Scriptures... It is essential to our emotional and spiritual health to stay in the faith and believe that God can heal us, but to pray for strength until- or even IF it is His will to do so.
I know that should/when another flare comes for me that I will have to cling to Jesus and reread what I have written here (for I write it for myself as well as you). I will need to surrender this next painful chapter of my life, knowing that God will still be there for me.
Surrendering our pain and our life to God is the only thing we can do.... meanwhile, I thank Him for the few days of respite..

Suffering is not our fault, but is because we live in a fallen world.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks



Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. 3 John 1:2

We live in a fallen world




 I have tried not to dwell on my illnesses these days, but still find that I have to remember to do this:

Accepting that one's life is going to be difficult due to ongoing illness makes for a happier life. When the chronically ill person decides to give it to God, and to cling to Him instead of succumbing to false guilt, life takes on a normality in what many would see as anything but. It is a surrender, if you will.
Suffering does not make us second-class Christians, as some false teachings would purport. Nor does it mean we are faithless or aren't reading our Bibles or standing on the promises of God regarding healing.
Furthermore, being ill does not check us out of God's watchful Eye of concern, or mean that He is an uncompassionate God. No, we all are subject to frailties and problems in the flesh because we live in a fallen world... we have not been singled out to suffer...
God has given us things to do in our suffering and it is important that we stay close to Him and continue to read the Word and pray. It is not that God has moved, when He feels far away during a flare or illness, but our emotions are also hurting as a result of our condition.
It is important to pray that God heal us, and to ask the Church to anoint us with oil according to the Scriptures... It is essential to our emotional and spiritual health to stay in the faith and believe that God can heal us, but to pray for strength until- or even IF it is His will to do so.
I know that should/when another flare comes for me that I will have to cling to Jesus and reread what I have written here (for I write it for myself as well as you). I will need to surrender this next painful chapter of my life, knowing that God will still be there for me.
Surrendering our pain and our life to God is the only thing we can do.... meanwhile, I thank Him for the few days of respite..

Suffering is not our fault, but is because we live in a fallen world.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks



Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. 3 John 1:2