When my youngest child, Dianne had Acute promyelocytic leukaemia, she was dangerously ill and in ICU three times. At one stage her kidneys were failing. Her body was shutting down.
They put her on dialysis three times and it was touch and go that she would make it through. You can imagine how I felt when they said they thought she was far too deteriorated to make it.
Naturally, I was asked to leave the ICU whilst they hooked her up, and to be honest, I just wanted to be alone. So I went down to the tea room for the patients and their family.
It suddenly hit me that I may never see Dianne alive again, and the horror of the last few weeks during which she was on chemo and reacted violently to it, overtook me and I cried.
Slumping down in the corner of the tiny tea room, I gave my daughter to God. He had every right to take her Home, but being a mother, I asked Him to spare her.
Goodness knows, Dianne was only 35 years old, a wife, and mother to three young children. She was needed here. Although she was a Christian and I knew she would be with the LORD, I wanted her here with me.
I prayed fervently, agreeing that whatever be His Will for her, that He was God. It was worse than the despair I felt when I gave birth to still born twin girls at 32 weeks. Up until then, I thought that was the worst thing that I had experienced. But I was wrong. Losing Dianne was something I couldn't endure.
Still slumped in the corner, I was overwhelmed with a peace that didn't make sense. Here we were in an emotional hell on earth, with Dianne's life hanging in the balance, and I was calm.
It was like a cloak of peace had been placed around my shoulders. It warmed me by routing the fear and it exuded a calm that permeated to my marrow. I knew it was the peace that passes all human understanding that God promises to us.
Because I was calm, I found my legs could still carry me- they were giving way to me in the tea room. I returned to the ICU where Dianne was on the dialysis.
I sat willing her to breathe and watching her breathing as if the very act was too tiring for her. I kissed her hand and silently prayed whilst she slept.
Three days later, she was being taught to walk again on the floor of the ICU and her kidney function was restored. Today, she is in remission for five years. They say it is extremely unlikely she will get APML back again...
This ordeal has shown me that we do have a Saviour Who is very involved in His childrens' lives. He is a good Father Who comforts His children when all else fails.
If Dianne had been called Home, I would not have lost faith in Him. But mercifully, He allowed her to live.
The warmth of the Peace He gave me in my most extreme anguished pain, is proof to me that He is a God of His Word. He truly gives us peace that is beyond understanding.
Call on the LORD in your own anguish and see that He is a caring and compassionate Father. There's nothing like His Cloak of Peace around your shoulders.
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7
What an awesome witness of faith, Glenys! I could feel your pain and despair. I could feel your faith despite that. I have felt the same before and then the same peace, in circumstances of my own, but not at the possible loss of a child. I bless you for your faith and for always sharing it so beautifully! God Bless! ~ Gwen in Arkansas/USA
ReplyDeleteThank you, Gwen! Sometimes I feel that no one is being reached with my blogs. Thanks so much for being an encourager today! Blessings, Glenys
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