Don't be afraid to train your children

The scriptures tell us to train up our child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6) But how many of us are afraid or unwilling to train our children? We are afraid that we will lose our children's affections if we restrain them- we are afraid to be mothers!

Some of us don't train our children because we are too lazy- it is always easier to just let them go- it takes too much effort to harness them and direct them in the right direction. Some of us do a half-hearted training of our children- because they bug us, we make them toe the line! I suppose that is better than no training at all.

What are the consequences of us not training our children? At the very most rebellious young adults who have no respect for authority- yours or anyone else's. At the very least, young adults who cannot restrain themselves or their moods and who have no respect for property or other people's feelings. Definitely on both counts, we will have bred unhappy young adults.

A lot of mothers are so afraid of harming their children's psyche that they become the child's servant eventually, doting on them and spoiling them until they are insufferable to bear. Mothers, you cannot be your child's best buddy or friend. You have to train your child well and be a mother who is not afraid to enforce her God-given authority as Mother. Your children will respect you for it- they certainly won't respect you for trying to be their friend.

If we don't train our children well we are asking for rottenness to come into their character. A mother who trains and disciplines her children in a loving way will never lose her children's respect or love. Even from early childhood we intuitively know that Mother is our teacher and protector. We may not verbalise it as children but we all know we need a Mother's input in our formative years. However we train our children we can be assured that the results will reach into eternity.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

'Train up our child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

God loves womankind

Women hold a very special place in God's Heart. Many feel that He is a misogynist or woman hater, but nothing could be further from the truth.

God knows that women are entrusted with an eternal purpose of life: to serve Him, love their husband and nurture their children. And to be keepers of the home. "Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house...' 1 Timothy 5:14c

Jesus in fact respected and loved womankind, and entrusted His first visitation after His resurrection to Mary: a woman.Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself and saith unto him, Rabboni; which is to say, Master.  Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father; but go to my brethrenm and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God. John 20:16-17

He interceded for the woman who was chided for breaking forth the alabaster jar of precious and expensive ointment, anointing His feet with it and drying them with her hair. It was He Who said that what she had done for Him would be spoken of forever. Love. Respect. Mercy. Grace. (Luke 7:37-50)

Forgiveness and grace were shown to the woman caught in adultery: respect and love from God meant her life was spared. (John 8:3-12)

He created Woman to be loved, to be loving, to be nurturing, to be protected and to be respected. To us He gave to us the ability to bear a child and then to raise it for His glory.  Any man can father a child, but it takes a loving woman to bear and raise it. No small matter. It takes a woman.

God knows that He can entrust women with eternal treasures, that's why He gave us the protection of marriage and the creating and keeping of a home: godly foundations on which to build a new generation of sons and daughters for Him.

Whilst men go to synagogues in Judaism, whilst men go to work and whilst men go to war, it is the women who carry the home, teach the children and bring them up unto Him. A worthy calling.

It is here that God meets with women in the mundane things of life, for He knows that the mundane is of great value, and so is a woman's service. And from love for womankind, comes a God Who meets us where we live: in our kitchen. In our baby's nursery. In the laundry.

To believe that women are forgotten by God is a gross misrepresentation of His love. It is we who keep the homefires burning and keep it all together when the world falls apart. No wonder God loves womankind.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” Proverbs 31:10

Missionaries in our own home.

These days feminism has belittled the role of wife, mother and homemaker so much that most young women see their role as unimportant. Nothing could be further from the truth.

A woman's presence in the home, training and raising her children properly is of utmost importance, both to the husband and the children. Her input in her children's upbringing will have ramifications for eternity.

Children are a blessing from the LORD and so is a home in which to raise them. The nurturing of children, of husband and home come from a faithful woman who sees the importance of her role as a Christian woman. 

Because society has for the most part become godless, the things of the LORD such as raising children, having a successful marriage and keeping a holy home are cast aside as things of little import. However, the truly wise wife will take her role seriously and raise her children as unto the LORD.

In this dark world in which we live, we wives and mothers have the perfect opportunity to keep guard over our homes, protecting the minds and peace of both our husband and children. This includes grandmothers when having their grandchildren stay.

It is no surprise that the enemy has propagated feminism as the way forward for womankind. It is destroying family life and making women discontented with their God given calling.

We have a big influence over whether or not our child will accept Christ as their Saviour. Child raising should be our first priority.  Your daily work as a wife, mother and homemaker is of great value to the LORD. 

Make no mistake: we are missionaries in our own home. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

“See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” Ephesians 5:15-17

Where have all the years gone?

My, where have all the years gone?? Today is my darling eldest daughter, Sonia's 46th birthday! I remember the five hour labour, her little red face on my tummy staring at me in awe with a "where am I?" look on her tiny face! I remember them taking her to get washed and weighed and how I ached to hold her longer!

Was it 46 years ago that I unwrapped the tiny dolly for the first time and checked out her little fingers and toes? -and marveled at the beauty of the gift God had given me whilst watching her little banana top curl pulsate over her fontanel? Such beauty and perfection in a neat little 18" long x 5lbs 15oz package!

Was it 43 years ago that I made a cubby house for her with an old blanket tied to the rails of my back porch steps? I can still see her setting up her dollies and teapots and making me a cup of tea! And hear her cries as her brother played Superman and jumped on top of her!

Surely it hasn't been 41 years since I took her to school that first day where she cried and I crouched under the classroom window waiting for her to stop before I could go home in peace-and not rush in and cry with her and rush her home with me!

Forty years have not erased the memory of my sweet little girl sleeping whilst sucking her thumb and I would give anything to turn back the clock and hold her in my arms and cuddle her again.

It hasn't been 30 years since I watched her make her debut and curtsy gracefully in her grandmother's beautiful lace and satin wedding dress! Surely not- it was only yesterday- my heart says it was yesterday- my head says not! For I see her in her own three children now- and I ask myself again, where have all the years gone?

And as I kissed her for her birthday, I found a lump had formed in my throat- I am getting old. And she is starting to ask for the first time that age old question- where have all the years gone?


© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice.  Proverbs 23:25

Blessings of the breasts

It is sad that there is a growing trend in our society to bottle feed our babies. If they are breast fed at all, it's just for a few days...and society seems to want it that way... It is almost as if there is a victimisation of the nursing mother. In most places there is little consideration for her and she is often forced to feed her child in a rest room or changing room.

Society is so obsessed with breast feeding's offensiveness that women have been asked to leave a restaurant or public place so as not to upset patrons... it should not be so... There is a way a mother can breast feed her child modestly, but even so, breast feeding seems to bring out a manifestation of disgust that is obsessive and ridiculous...

Why is it so? you ask. It is so because like everything else in society, breasts have been sexualised so much that there is no distinction between a woman nourishing her child and a woman flaunting her breasts for sexual provocation..

In past days, a nursing child drew loving nostalgic glances from women who themselves breastfed their own child, and little girls often mimicked their mothers, holding their dollies to their chest.... Today, it is with disbelief that the same aged child learns that babies can in fact, get their nourishment from their mothers and not only from a bottle...

It is ridiculous, really, because science has proven that the breastfed baby receives the best milk nature has to offer... yet such is the sway of society that these little ones will be fed on formula. God has provided the best for His children... from the womb... yet like everything else God has said is good- Satan has twisted and changed to become something society disapproves of...

Let's see what God thinks of breasts...

Even by the God of thy father, who shall help thee; and by the Almighty, who shall bless thee with blessings of heaven above, blessings of the deep that lieth under, blessings of the breasts, and of the womb: Genesis 49 25

O that thou wert as my brother, that sucked the breasts of my mother! when I should find thee without, I would kiss thee; yea, I should not be despised. Song of Solomon 8:1

But thou art he that took me out of the womb: thou didst make me hope when I was upon my mother's breasts. Psalm 22:9

Give them. O LORD: what wilt thou give? give them a miscarrying womb and dry breasts. Hosea 9:14

And it came to pass, as he spake these things, a certain woman of the company lifted up her voice, and said unto him, Blessed is the womb that bare thee, and the paps which thou hast sucked.  Luke 11:27

What could be better than an infant being fed from it's mother as God intended?

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Teaching your children manners

I doubt that there would be a mother among us who has never taught her child manners. From the time our child can grasp something held out to them we have intoned the magical words, "Say thank you!" " ta" "please" But good manners are more than please and thank you!

Good manners include holding doors open for someone, letting the other person go first, excusing oneself after emitting intestinal noises~ahem...It's saying "excuse me" and not pushing someone in the road, it's insisting that the children speak respectfully and a lot more. Manners also includes teaching children to value and respect others' property and home...

I can well remember an incident with my friends' daughters. Sharon, her elder daughter had a hair clip that belonged to Denise, her younger daughter. Now Denise wanted it back. This is not an unreasonable request. However, the hair clip was inside Sharon's makeup bag which was inside her handbag, and Sharon was not at home. It would be a simple matter for her mother to just get the hairclip and give it to Denise. But to my amazement, my friend wouldn't go to Sharon's handbag much to Denise's sorrow!

Quite fascinated, I observed this, taking mental notes. Patiently, Denise's mother explained to her that since Sharon wasn't home, it would be best to use another hairpin. It was not up to anyone except Sharon to go through her stuff to give it to Denise. Denise wailed and was quite upset, but her mother stood firm.

Later on, my friend explained that she was training her children to respect others' property. She didn't want Denise to think it was OK to rummage through her sisters' things because she didn't want to teach her that it would be OK to rummage through *our* things! Likewise, she wouldn't let her children jump on the couch at home because she didn't want them jumping on *our* couches! I took all this on board thinking what a wise woman she was. She was sharp, and she was setting the example.

We must set the rules of behaviour in our own homes. Respect of people, respect of others' property and proper and respectful behaviour in others' homes begins in our own. It is an important task that is sometimes forgotten today in this world where children are allowed free rein at home and in others' homes.

Unruly and ill-mannered children will harm your Christian witness too. We are called to have obedient children. So for the LORD'S sake as well, it is important to give careful and faithful instruction to our children. Not only will it benefit our witness and our children and home, but us also as we find ourselves welcomed at others' homes instead of remaining uninvited because they just can't stand our kids! It's true that manners certainly are far more than just please and thank you!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.  Proverbs 22:6

It only comes once

The most precious part of a person's life is undoubtedly their childhood. It is in the first 7 years particularly of a child's life that their character is forming. It is in these years that it is most crucial that children have a close relationship to their parents or career. As well as training and learning, a vital part of childhood is playing. This is where what is observed is put into practice.

It is important that a child have fun in their life, stability, direction and love. The best thing we can give our child for a happy childhood is a happy marriage, a peaceful home and our loving guidance and attention shown at times in playing with them. This will delight a child no end. The memories of childhood games especially with Mother and Father, will last a life-time.

A happy childhood, I believe, prepares a child for adult life and is a once-off- we only have one chance to be a child! I believe that a happy child grows into a confident adult. Life is tackled more confidently than the adult who has had an unhappy childhood. To be denied a happy childhood often makes an adult resentful and can cause some people to be 'Peter Pans' who never grow up. They live life in a constant state of dramas and dependency on their parents or others.

Take time to play and read to your children, give them a routine so that they can know what is expected in their lives, and treat them gently and kindly. Expect them to make messes, cry at your discipline, get cranky when tired or sick and even embarrass you sometimes. They are, after all, children. Let them be loved and know it- tell them often. They need to hear it.

I had never heard my mother say "I love you"- she just couldn't seem to say it. It grieves me that I was 65 when at her last dying words, I ever heard those words from her. I 'knew' she loved me, but I would have loved to hear those words. So from someone who's been there- tell your child often that you love him or her.

Childhood is a growing time, physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually. Make your child's childhood special…let them learn to trust in you and their father and then to learn to trust God. Make it your goal as a parent to give your child a happy childhood. Because it only comes once.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 

Preparing for the Big Day!

Have you ever stopped to think about how most of us prepare for marriage and childbirth and then once that is accomplished, we fall by the roadside? How many websites, magazines, articles, CD’s etc are there dedicated to these subjects? We are prepared for the BIG DAY: the wedding day, the delivery day- yet how many of us find a sense of disillusionment in life after the BIG DAY has been? We are simply- unprepared!

It is not that preparing for one’s wedding day or impending birth of a child is wrong in itself, but to focus all one’s attention on the BIG DAY and lose focus on the YEARS thereafter is foolhardy. After all, a marriage comes after a wedding and a lifetime of parenting comes after a birth. The years after the BIG DAY is where the rubber meets the road..

So many women put all their attention on their wedding- the preparations, the drama, the dreaming, the romance and the culmination of years of planning and rehearsing in her head. But once married, how many are prepared for the hard work of tending and nurturing that marriage. For marriage is hard work at times and we would be foolish to think otherwise.

Let’s be honest: how many of us have taken the time to study about marriage as the institution it is- not the romanticised notion but the reality? Often if we have not prepared and studied not only the scriptures on marriage but studied and observed our husbands- we will find ourselves being bogged down by feelings of disillusionment and disenchantment.

Likewise, how many of us expectant mothers haven’t bothered to read up on childbirth, practiced all the exercises and relaxation tips for labour, eaten well and obsessed about ours and our child’s health? But how many of us have read up on child-raising, education, and marital adjustment and so forth for the years of parenting ahead? It is very short-sighted to place all one’s attention on the delivery of a child to the neglect of acquiring knowledge about the raising of that child. After all, childbirth is a day, parenthood is for life!

We must equip ourselves and our daughters to be the best wives (not brides), the best mothers (not labouring women), so that they will be well prepared to cope with the reality of life. When the rubber meets the road and they find that their BIG DAYS are followed by years of hard work and effort, they will be women of strength, fortitude and confidence- and they will be wonderful wives and mothers.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"Wisdom resteth in the heart of him that hath understanding: but [that which is] in the midst of fools is made known" Proverbs 14:33

Experts don't always know best

When I was born there was a philosophy of child raising influenced by a whole network of Maternal Welfare Centres in Australia under the umbrella of Dr Truby King. In this teaching, the newborn was "trained" to be fed every 4 hours on the dot, allowed to cry inconsolably when hungry yet allowed to run wild in the developing years. One did not want to hurt their little psyches by spanking or scolding.

My mother remembers only too well her niece who was sucking on her fingers and screaming for a feed but whose mother would let her scream until the clock said it was time for the next feed! She was a strict follower of the Truby King regime. By the time the baby was offered the breast (which was swollen with milk that would gush down the child's throat), she was usually too exhausted to suckle well and if she did, would be full of colic from all the crying.

My cousin grew up a chronic thumb sucker and a lonely and unhappy child. But a child who was allowed complete freedom- even to tap dancing on the top of her mother's white Queen Ann dressing table! At a time when a newborn should be taught to trust in a big world, and then how to love and form a deep abiding bond with its mother or carer, it was deprived of not only food but comfort! It learnt to be anxious and distrustful and unloving!

But at an age where the personality was developing and training could commence, the child was allowed full vent to emotion and desires and was allowed to run wild. These poor children were taught that instant gratification, disrespect of authority, people and their possessions and ultimate selfishness were their right. There were no boundaries and the child was unhappy and isolated. Parents of children being trained in the niceties and values of normal living rightfully didn't want their own children associating with them.

Ultimately, Truby King bred a generation of unhappy adults who knew nothing but self indulgence and that anarchy does indeed rule. How sad! How very contrary to God's way of raising children! I do not know what became of Dr Truby King perhaps he has passed on- but the legacy he has passed on to countless adults brought up under his spartan regime is appalling. How different these teachings are to the gentle rearing of our children under the admonition of the scriptures!

How my heart yearns to be able to go back in time and comfort and feed the many infants starving for hours and fretting and to direct and gently guide the little children brought up under the teaching of these people! Yet many sincere and genuinely loving parents thought they were doing what was best for their children- unfortunately, they followed after the foolishness of man and against the knowledge of the Most High God.

I was fortunate to have a sensible mother, but thousands weren't. It makes you wonder how each turned out as an adult doesn't it?

© Glenys Robyn Hicks



"Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward. " Psalm 127:3

Being there for our children

When I grew up in the 50's and 60's the majority of mothers stayed home with their children and didn't baulk at being there. We grew up with Mother always being home when we got home from school, offering us milk and cookies, supervising play and homework, cooking dinner and folding up the laundry. If she wasn't home when we got home it felt as if the world had turned on its axis! Mum was our world and we pitied the few kids at school whose mums worked outside the home! Mum being there was our anchor of security and it is one of the memories of childhood I have where I felt happy and secure. Gradually I noticed that more and more of my friend's mums were working outside the home and I remember one friend in particular who would go home from school, set the dinner table, feed the dogs, and play with me until her mother came home, which was my sign to make tracks home because my dinner would just about be ready. I would skip home glad to know Mum was there bustling around the kitchen or putting her day's laundry over the airer in front of the fire. It was a routine that was as predictable as the setting of the sun. How sad I felt for my friend coming home to an empty house. She may have her gold bracelets and an Osmond's fountain pen that we couldn't afford- but young as I was, I knew which side my bread was buttered on- and as far as I was concerned, I would rather have my Mum home than the pink and white bedroom suite and carpeted bedroom my friend had all to herself. I would gladly share mine with my sister and have Mum where she was. I still feel sad for her today- to my mind she had everything except the most important- a stay at home mother. Today's world has changed so much. Often mothers have to work to provide for their children- and they do a wonderful of job of balancing motherhood and career. But an awful lot of women who could stay home with their children have been hood-winked into believing that they don't contribute to society by staying home with their children! They do not see the value in teaching and training of their children, and they are blind to the infinite blessing of nurturing to the spirit of their babies by just being there- at home! Never before has motherhood taken such a pounding by feminists, employers, TV commercials urging us to consume more and more whilst leaving the most precious of things- our children, under the care of daycare centres and people who give good care but no real love to their children. How I long for those mothers to catch a glimpse of their children's spirits as they are left day after day in the care of people who only see nurturing these children as a job, not a privilege. They are being deprived of the security of knowing that Mom is with them all day, in their own home. They don't care that the house may not be the biggest, they are just as warm in K-mart clothes as designer labels, but they do care that they are deprived of their Mum's time- they just can't express it yet! How do you know they care that their Mum isn't there you say?- I know because I have seen children woken up at early hours from warm beds or cots to be bundled hurriedly into cars to be taken to daycare! I have seen their looks of bewilderment and seen how long it takes for them to settle- granted initially at first- fortunately for them, children are amazingly resilient. And I have seen the look of delight when they see Mum come to pick them up, and I have seen too the little head nuzzling into Mummy's neck soaking up the scent of Mum and her body warmth! Heaven in a child's world! I have seen little ones clinging to carers who are forbidden to attach to one child for too long in case they bond- thus making it difficult to cope with said child if that carer isn't available on any given day! I have seen misery inside those gaily painted daycare centres where all care is taken- but no bonding is allowed. What a stage setting for bonding problems in the adult kids! If a mother could just see inside her child's heart for a moment she would reconsider her position as a working mother. She would stay at home with her children and cut her cloth accordingly. Her education would not be wasted for there is a great challenge in balancing finances on one wage, being a wise mother, cook, nutritionist, nurse, play supervisor, educator and above all else, companion and guide to little ones eager to emulate her. She would find true happiness in herself as she is less pressured for time, and she would have the enjoyment of knowing that she has made the most of the few precious years we have with our children. Our young children want their Mummies, and our older children are looking for something that is lacking- something in their spirit that is empty- the joy of being wanted- and nurtured and loved. Before the car, the house, the clothes, the toys. Before the holidays, the big Christmas presents, the expensive lap-tops. They are hungry for love and bonding. Don't let that be with strangers who offer them acceptance and belonging as they ply them with drugs! You be the one! You are the one they long for! Take back the house keys and stop them being latch-key kids before it's too late. Just be there, Mum. Make a decision in faith that God will provide for your needs- this is His Will for all mothers- it is part of His great plan! If you ever needed to be needed, it's now!  Don't think your boss can't get by without you- he can, but your kids can't. Not if they are going to be godly, loving, confident adults and parents, they can't. But it starts with you. Will you be a part of God's plan in motherhood? Will you trust Him to meet your needs? But most importantly, will you just be there for them? © Glenys Robyn Hicks "But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:19

Some things a mother never forgets

One of my favourite things is to go to Opportunity or Thrift Shops. Some of my best clothes have been second-hand: some even have been brand new with labels still on!

During one of these trips, I was trying on a dress in the change room. I overheard a conversation between the aged volunteer ladies who live in the grounds where they have their Op Shop. They made me chuckle and left me feeling strangely happy.....

"Myrtle, do you know where the spare coat hangers are? I thought I put them out the back, but I can't find them! I would leave my head at home if it weren't screwed on!"...

"Beryl, you put them under the counter this morning: here they are!".....tutt- tutt

"Myrtle, did I tell you that Maries' youngest daughter had her baby last night? Yep, a girl as that scan thing said....quite a big baby: 9lbs.....mmmmmm. My Barry was nearly 9lbs: nearly killed me....Cheryl was just over 8lbs: huh, I thought that was bad enough but Barry beat that!...Marie said Stacy is such a tiny girl to have a big baby like that....still you can't tell can ya? Some women have em real easy like that and then the bigger lassies need an Opera-tion! How much did your bubbies weigh, Myrtle?"

"Oh, Jack was 7lbs 6ozs and was a real long fella! 20 inches. I was having me pains for days before I took the tram to the Womens Hospital.... reckon he'd have been a cesssareann if I'd been havin' him now! Beth was so fast, I nearly had her on the tram!! Just goes to show ya how each kiddie is different, Beryl. Beth wasn't as long as Jack but he was a bit heavier....she was 7lbs. George gave me no trouble whatsoever: 8lbs 2.... Can you show me how to operate this till? I can't get the hang of it..."

Putting my purchases on the counter, I guessed Beryl and Myrtle to be nearly 80. Forgetful and playful, they made my day: but forgetful as they are- they proved a point. Even though their 'babies' were in their 60's, motherhood leaves an indelible mark on a woman's soul... and there are some things a mother never forgets!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, [and to be] a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD. Psalm 113:9

Don't relinquish your role

As you probably know, in my first 25 year marriage, I was an abused wife. But along with physical abuse, I was daily subjected to disrespect and psychological stress.

By the time I was married for about 15 years, I was broken physically and emotionally. I was in hospital frequently for a spinal disease called Sheurmann's Disease, and for surgery to remove kidney stones. Each time I came home, the disrespect was worse.

After a few years of this, I noticed that my daughter, who was a teenager at the time, was changing her attitude towards me. She became cheeky and sassy and answered me back constantly. Whenever I appealed for some backup from her father, he would defend her. I felt isolated and lonely in my own home.

As she grew older, I noticed that they both talked more than he and I did, and there was a definite bond and camaraderie. I felt like the third wheel.

In the morning I would make my beds and maintain my home, and when my daughter came home from school, she would pull them all back and redo them, stating that they weren't made properly.

Often my ex-husband would come home to unmade beds and he would start screaming at me, swearing and calling me horrid names. He didn't believe me when I told him I had made them and that she had pulled them back for me to make again. Honestly, with my ill health, once a day was enough for me to find the strength to make them.

In the end, I didn't make them, letting her do them when she got home from school. It was just wasting my precious spoons (energy) for nothing- they would be remade and I would get a tongue lashing regardless.

I think this was where the rug was pulled from under my feet. I gradually was treated like a naughty child by both my ex-husband and my eldest daughter. In fact when we were moving house and it was time to choose the colours and tiles etc, they conferred and I was just informed what it would be.

To say that I was not mistress of my own home is an understatement. I was an annoying lazy freeloader according to them. I couldn't work outside the home and they begrudged me anything at all.

When finally I could no longer keep any food down due to fear and depression, and sick of punched arms and bruises, I decided to leave. And in my confusion, I grabbed some clothes pegs with my clothes and this was duly reported to her father who demanded them to be returned.

I don't believe even today that there was any sexual connection with my daughter and her father, but there was a bond that cemented them together, but which excluded me. And I was powerless to change it and my cries for marriage counselling fell on deaf ears. It became too much.

Truly, three in a marriage is never what God intended. Nor did He intend for a man to cleave to his daughter and deny his wife due regard and respect. It is not a normal marriage.

So why do I tell you this? you ask. Because you must find the strength to fight being made an outsider in your role as a wife, mother and home maker. You simply must demand respect from your husband, even if it exhausts you. You must insist on respect from your children.

I wish I had been aware of this earlier and been firmer, but I can only say that I was beaten down so badly by him and chronic illness, that I could hardly stand. Start defending your right to be a wife and a respected mother.  Your role is ordained by God. Don't relinquish it.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

“I will give children to be their princes, and babes shall rule over them.." Isaiah 3:4

An unborn baby's prayer

I love being so close to you Mummy,
I was lulled to sleep when you were walking today, the gentle warm waters rocked me so.

Did you feel me kick today Mummy?
I have been practicing so long for you to feel me, I want you to know I am well and growing.

I have hiccups tonight,
I just can't stop them coming and it feels so strange-I hope they don't keep you awake too.

I did a somersault for you Mummy,
I turned over and back again cos I found I can still do it, I won't be able to soon but I s'pose that will make you glad!

Today I heard for the first time, Mummy-
I heard your heart beating slow and steady next to mine; will your heart always be close to me?

You have a lovely voice
that I will recognise at once, for I woke and heard you singing-will you sing to me when I'm cradled in your arms?

You must have been in sunshine today,
for I saw red colours shining through my fused eyelids. I want so much to see you and the colours you wear.

O how I wish I could always be this close, Mummy,
protected and stretching and growing under your heart, but I know you tire easily so I must be in your arms!

I want you to love me forever, Mummy-
I've prayed God will make my skin really velvety soft, so you will want to touch me and cover me in kisses.

God's told me He's preparing me as a gift for you,
He's shaping me in a secret place known to just us three…

I've asked God to help you love me, Mummy,
to make me the best baby just for you- He whispered," Just relax and be yourself, that's all you have to do"

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"The Work Of His Hands" © 2004 Gary B Clark www.garybclark.com Used With Permission

"Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest out of the womb I sanctified thee.." Jeremiah 1:5a 

Motherhood is under attack

I believe that there is an attack on motherhood today.  Children generally aren't highly regarded in our society, especially infants.  In the past motherhood has been elevated to almost a Madonna type worship, but todays' society shows that there is a decline in our view of mothers and children...

Whilst waiting to see a doctor today, a young mother came in with a baby girl about 3 months old. Baby was obviously unwell and was crying loudly. Mother sat down with Baby over her shoulder, patting her back, but Baby was not going to be consoled. Soon Mother was as flushed looking as her crying infant, and I couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

As I looked around me, I noticed that several patients were glaring at the poor mother. From the receptionists to a man who was reading a paper.  He kept looking over the top of the paper with a look of annoyance, and now and then tutted...sensing their disapproval, the mother got up and walked around the waiting room a bit... but Baby still cried.

I understand that the patients waiting to see their doctor were probably ill and the weather was extremely hot: 40C or 104F but to be so obviously upset at a sick infant and her poor mother is not right!  Children aren't valued by some and neither is motherhood!

A friend of ours went to England with his little toddler son.  Going on the Tube railway with his sons' stroller, he was shocked at the lack of manners and inconsiderate reactions of fellow passengers.... after all our friend had as much of a right to use the Tube as they did.  But again, the obvious resentment of children was there.

When I was first married to Chris, I used to work outside of the home for a bit to save a deposit for a home. I had to travel to Melbourne by train and tram each day and once again I saw the inconsiderate attitude fellow travelers had to pregnant women and women with prams.

Extremely pregnant women weren't offered a seat and people almost hissed at women struggling to get in a tram or train with a pram or children.  And little children clung for dear life on the trams seats, almost falling over with every rock of a changed track..... no one offered a seat or a hand to hang on to...

I know I am showing my age when I say, "In my day....." but truly, in my day, when I was having children, people were more considerate of those with young- either unborn or in tow. There was a different attitude towards the pregnant woman, and she was generally considered worthy of enough respect to be offered a seat on a train or tram...

It shouldn't come as any surprise really, because motherhood is under attack today.  And the effects of that attack are more far-reaching than just not getting a seat on public transport. The effects start at conception with often derogatory remarks on the announcement of another pregnancy and filter through to aid a decision or "choice" to abort that pregnancy.

Instead of congratulations, the new parents-to-be are often bombarded with concerned people asking how this pregnancy will affect their lifestyle or career chances. And thereby they cast a pall over what should be a happy time. One should not have to defend the decision to have a child, but most of us find we are doing just that when we announce our pregnancy...

Motherhood is under attack by a society that has lost the joy of procreation and child rearing. Our babies are inconveniences, our children are pests. There is a shocking increase worldwide of child abuse- and in a world of materialism, hedonism and godlessness, we need not be surprised.... We are becoming very adept at attacking and eradicating all things that God has said are good!

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks

'Lo children are an heritage from the LORD and the fruit of the womb is His reward.' Psalm 127:3 

Ode to my unborn child

O child of mine as yet unborn your presence fills my heart with joy-

Each movement assures me of your life within the confines of my womb...

At day I proudly watch the swell of growth that heralds your impending birth-

In dreams your features are so perfect; filling my heart with love and longing...

O count the days till I will hold you nestled closely at my breast-

Hear the heart that beats for you,dear- it yours now till I draw no breath..

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks

   'Lo children are an heritage from the LORD and the fruit of the womb is His reward.' Psalm 127:3 

Focusing on the moment

We live in a world which is fraught with anxiety which not only robs us of our peace, but promotes panic attacks. This debilitates us and robs us further of time used profitably. It can be a personal hell on earth.

Years ago, when I had panic attacks, a friend who was a pastor's wife and I were discussing things along that line over a cup of tea. She said in all honesty, she had no answers to if we are alone in the Universe and so on. But what she said next made me think.

She said that she won't allow herself to dwell on useless questions because she doesn't want to be distracted from what Christ has for her to do. She suggested that I stay close to the LORD and bring my thoughts into the captivity of Christ. 

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 2 Corinthians 10:5

I followed her advice and was able to overcome my panic attacks. I stopped having the TV on all day with sad world events 24/7. When Chris watched a documentary or video on conspiracy theories, he listened to them with his headphones on. I threw myself into my home making and cuddled up with Chris more often. I made myself dwell on my life verse in Philippians 4:8 and only concentrated on what I knew was good:

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8

There is still beauty in the world and there is peace in trusting God and His Word. Like me, if you are fearful, take steps to avoid watching or listening to things that open up questions and rob you of your peace. 

Play Christian music, read the Word and pray. Make your home more pleasant and hug your husband and children. Know that Christ is in control and is on your side. We have His protection: He has our back no matter what those answers are: He is Who He is: the I Am

So if you worry about world events and conspiracy theories, lay it all at Jesus's feet. Dwell on how you can best serve the LORD. Don't let troubling thoughts rob you of your joy. Peace will come back to you like it did for me. Life will be better by focusing on the moment.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Do not waste time arguing over godless ideas and old wives’ tales. Instead, train yourself to be godly. 1 Timothy 4:7

Reaching for the stars

I often see young women today who have bought the feminists' lies that they can have it all... the job, the marriage, the well kept home, the nice cars and furniture not to mention nice clothes... and still juggle motherhood successfully, often taking just enough time off work to give birth and then sometimes only weeks after, to return leaving a new baby and usually others in childcare. Just writing it all down makes my head spin!Perhaps it all seems possible with a sympathetic spouse who helps with household chores, and a strong network of family or childcare workers for the children. But one wonders, for how long?

I fell victim to working outside the home when my children were young. Having obeyed my then husband and gone to work leaving young ones either with him or my mother, I can testify to the inability to totally give ones' constant attention to detail at work when one has a sick child at home or when just plain missing them.I can testify to the almost boiling point of emotions at small problems at home that would once be taken in their stride... fatigue makes pressure cookers of us all.

Not only that, but I can attest to emotions that one would rather not admit to: having to not only cook a meal but clean the kitchen, sneak in another load of washing after the kids have been bathed and made ready for bed whilst Husband falls asleep on the couch... obviously worn-out from his own day of labour outside the home. And there is *still* so much she has to do!

The powder keg ignites when Husband, feeling refreshed from his 40 winks, decides at 11:30 when her head finally hits the pillow, that the Games must begin! And as a tired body tries to overcome fatigue and desires only sleep, a not so romantic emotion creeps in: resentment! And then we have marriage problems which could have been avoided. Over the last few years, I have observed this at close quarters.

Several mothers of young children in our family have thought they could have it all. Some have found out that they can't. And some are still striving, unable to relinquish the dream that feminists have implanted in their minds: that they *can* have it all.... without any side-effects! And there *are* side-effects!

One mother went back to work six weeks after giving birth. She chose to work night-shift so that Husband could mind Baby at night and she could do so during the day. Not only did she end up with a king-size case of post-natal depression, but she also developed panic-attacks which were so debilitating that she (unwisely) turned to alcohol to stop them. Fortunately, her husband realised that the stress of achieving the Have-it-all Dream was killing his wife, and he told her to quit working. Fortunately, she was able to get medication for the anxiety and was able to curtail her intake of alcohol. But it nearly cost her her health, her marriage, her children and her home!

Another mother who is still striving suffers from migraines, tiredness that prevents her from falling asleep at night, but which sees her lie in an exhausted sleep in the morning- only to have to rise and start the day when all her body needs is rest! She is particularly grumpy and strident, but mention overwork or quitting and the heckles rise... you are standing on very shaky ground when you try to debunk the Feminist Claptrap Dream!

Still another mother in our family is striving not only in work, but in her personal life and her childrens' lives. She totally believes she not only *can* have it all... but believes that it is her *right*. But she is paying a high price too. Perfect wife, mother, housekeeper, worker, social butterfly and off campus student, she looks the embodiment of the fakeness of The Lie. However, unable to swallow because of a feeling of a lump in the throat, she was diagnosed with a case of globulus hystericus... nerves. My gentle suggestion to delegate jobs in the family, and forgo a few extra classes for the children was like a red rag to a bull.... warning... warning... danger! The Dream must be kept alive, even if the mothers aren't.

It is such a sad state of affairs... and there seems no end to it all... For every woman who falls by the wayside in the attainment of All, there are a hundred following in hot pursuit, stepping over her as they stampede forward to the Goal, which is never *enough* when you think about it.Sadly, I realise that they *can* have it All.... but along with it comes divorce, depression, anxiety, split families and all that negativity does to your health....

The feminists have given our young mothers dust for dreams! God planned for us to have an abundant and relatively peaceful life as wives and mothers, but typically, the Evil One has used his messengers to pervert that which was originally perfect.We aren't supposed to have it all.... just those things that are priceless: our health, our marriage, our children, our home and our peace! We can rest content without reaching for the stars! 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Luke 12:34

Do you know who does?

It is said that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world and I am a great believer in that. After all, most of a mother's values are instilled in her child as she raises him or her.

Medical science tells us that the first seven years of a child's life shape their values, attitudes and habits. So much so that Hitler was quoted as saying, "give me a child until he is seven and he is mine!" The Catholic Church also believed in teaching children in the first seven years and one recalls the old saying, "Once a Catholic, always a Catholic!" The mould has been cast...

During the first years of a child's life, great care should be taken to instil right attitudes and beliefs and the training of that child does indeed shape that person's life. Proverbs tells us that we train up a child in the way he should go and afterwards he will not turn from it...we have to raise them for Christ.

A stable home and marriage and a loving mother who invests her life and efforts into training as well as loving her child is serving the LORD as much as any missionary or preacher. Because of her mothering, there is every chance that her child will accept the LORD at an early age and go on to serve and love Him.

But in today's society many mothers relinquish that role to paid carers and daycare centres. We can only guess what is being instilled by them as they firstly do not love the child and secondly for the most part are secular run institutions.

The hand that rocks your child's cradle does rule the world. Are you rocking the cradle and if not, do you know who does?

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

An unending story

It is said a mother will raise a child for 18 years or so. What is not told you is that with each child, a mother’s heart is fragmented and not only will she give that child a Life Story at birth, but she will also give it her heart forever. Throughout the rest of her life she will be her child’s biggest influence, inscribing values and skills in its Life’s Book. 

Every Page of that child’s life will be scrutinised and lived through. Every word, every full-stop measured in feeding progress, weight gain, colic and diaper changes. Every sentence will be measured in her child holding up its head, smiling, grasping and focusing. Each early Chapter will read as accomplishments in teething, crawling, sitting unsupported, first words and walking.

Shortly, a mother will become an avid Reader of the Book of her child’s life and will pore through it with rapt attention. She will often re-read the previous Chapters, seeking reasons for the present Story unfolding in the most recent Page of her child’s sojourn through life. Quite often this will be a fruitless exercise as she cannot re-write the Chapters. However, she will certainly be able to enhance the outcome of future Chapters by passing on her foresight and life skills to her child.

As the Reader and not the Writer of this Book, the mother will find that she becomes absorbed in every Chapter as it unfolds. Often against her will, she will find that she lives every hurt and disappointment, every heart ache, every pain and illness as if it were her own Life’s Story. And often, being a loving mother, she will wish that the sad Chapter was her own and not her child’s….but she is only the Reader.

Every accomplishment, victory, honor or triumph will become personal as a mother reads and lives her child’s Story. Indeed many mothers will find kudos in their children’s unfolding Life Story, especially if that child is successful. However, successful or not, a mother will still remain a loyal and enthusiastic Reader.

It is not unheard of for a mother to question the Writer of this Book whilst at the same time yearning for the Writer’s direction. But try as she might to become the Writer, this is a Book that she cannot write. She can and should, enquire of the Writer for guidance but in doing so, she must accept that the Editor’s decision is final.

It is interesting to note that just as a mother thinks she may be coming to the end of this Read, that she will find there is a Sequel which is just as compelling as the original. This comes in the form of grandchildren. After one glance at the Prologue, she will find herself giving yet more of her heart as her mind relives the first chapter of her own child’s Life Story.

With shaking hands and teary eyes, she will scan the Page eagerly, knowing that she will be a reader of this new child’s Life Story for many chapters to come. And she will undoubtedly thank the Writer as she lovingly fingers the new Page.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers. Proverbs 17:6 

Be a mother first!

Over many years I have noticed that a lot of mothers relinquish the authority of Mother and try to be a girl friend to their daughters. When the child is young often she is not disciplined correctly for fear that the child won’t love them any more. There is a laissez-faire attitude that is over lenient with the children, resulting in them being spoiled and over indulged.

In an effort to be close to their daughters, some mothers act foolishly, behaving like silly school girls. Not only do they simper and carry on like youngsters, but they often divulge too much personal information about their marriage or share off jokes with them in an effort to be cool or hip.

Another mistake I see is that these insecure mothers often treat their growing daughters as being much older than they are, allowing them to listen in on adult conversations and making them a part of adult functions and occasions.

When boys come onto the scene, it is not uncommon for this mother to almost push her into a relationship too early, or to sexualise their daughters at a ridiculously young age. It is not unheard of to have mothers applying makeup to 8 year olds and dressing them up way beyond their years in a provocative manner.

This can be seen in a Christian home as much as any other, especially where the mother herself has issues of insecurity surrounding her mothering. When the daughters end up in trouble, the mothers wring their hands and cry that they didn’t know why it had happened.

What has happened? The daughters have gradually lost respect for their mothers and have decided to go their own way…Mother is seen as being shallow and secretly these girls are growing to despise them. What these girls need is a mother who will act her age and act wisely. They need a mother they can relate to on an adult level: what they don’t need is what a lot of mothers try to be: a girlfriend!

Children need their mothers. They need an adult head and hand to guide them through the turbulence of adolescence. At the end of the day, they want a mother they can respect and who won’t show them up as an immature air head.

The mother who brings her personal problems to her young daughter not only weighs her down with unbearable problems, but with knowledge she is not yet ready to take on her young shoulders! The wise mother will seek out her husband, mature Christian women or counsellors to discuss personal issues with. She will at all times be a mother.

The last thing a young girl needs is a mother who wants to be a girlfriend. There will be time after adolescence for being a close friend: but be a mother first!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

”My mouth shall speak of wisdom; and the meditation of my heart [shall be] of understanding. ” Psalm 49:3