I doubt that there would be a mother among us who has never taught her child manners. From the time our child can grasp something held out to them we have intoned the magical words, "Say thank you!" " ta" "please" But good manners are more than please and thank you!
Good manners include holding doors open for someone, letting the other person go first, excusing oneself after emitting intestinal noises~ahem...It's saying "excuse me" and not pushing someone in the road, it's insisting that the children speak respectfully and a lot more. Manners also includes teaching children to value and respect others' property and home...
I can well remember an incident with my friends' daughters. Sharon, her elder daughter had a hair clip that belonged to Denise, her younger daughter. Now Denise wanted it back. This is not an unreasonable request. However, the hair clip was inside Sharon's makeup bag which was inside her handbag, and Sharon was not at home. It would be a simple matter for her mother to just get the hairclip and give it to Denise. But to my amazement, my friend wouldn't go to Sharon's handbag much to Denise's sorrow!
Quite fascinated, I observed this, taking mental notes. Patiently, Denise's mother explained to her that since Sharon wasn't home, it would be best to use another hairpin. It was not up to anyone except Sharon to go through her stuff to give it to Denise. Denise wailed and was quite upset, but her mother stood firm.
Later on, my friend explained that she was training her children to respect others' property. She didn't want Denise to think it was OK to rummage through her sisters' things because she didn't want to teach her that it would be OK to rummage through *our* things! Likewise, she wouldn't let her children jump on the couch at home because she didn't want them jumping on *our* couches! I took all this on board thinking what a wise woman she was. She was sharp, and she was setting the example.
We must set the rules of behaviour in our own homes. Respect of people, respect of others' property and proper and respectful behaviour in others' homes begins in our own. It is an important task that is sometimes forgotten today in this world where children are allowed free rein at home and in others' homes.
Unruly and ill-mannered children will harm your Christian witness too. We are called to have obedient children. So for the LORD'S sake as well, it is important to give careful and faithful instruction to our children. Not only will it benefit our witness and our children and home, but us also as we find ourselves welcomed at others' homes instead of remaining uninvited because they just can't stand our kids! It's true that manners certainly are far more than just please and thank you!
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
Manners are very important and I drummed them into my sons - I use to say to them "if the Queen was here for dinner would you be eating like that"!!!
ReplyDeleteI had to smile at the handbag story - I went to the theatre on Saturday night and just as we were about to enter one of the ladies couldn’t find her ticket and believing she had dropped it, went off to look – leaving behind her purse and coat. I am not one to look through another lady’s purse, but I said to the people we were with, “let’s have a quick look in N’s purse and see if the ticket is in there”. A quick look did indeed find the ticket – it wasn’t hard to locate. I was able to run off and tell N the good news. I apologised for looking in her bag – so sometimes these things do happen and it was out of respect that I suggested it!! I perhaps would have been more reluctant if I had been on my own, but with other witnesses, it felt ok!!! N was so pleased we had
Laughing out loud! well, with a lot of witnesses and under the circumstances, it was OK.... as with everything, there is no black and white! N sounds like me a bit... I do things like that...if ever we go to the theatre together, you have my permission to look in my bag.... LOL
ReplyDeleteEven today, more than fifty years after our wedding, my Beloved Husband will bring my purse to me if he needs something out of it. We taught this to our children, too -- we share our personal things, but we respect others' and hesitate even with their permission. It's a wonderful lesson to carry always. Thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDeletePhyllis, Chris and I are the same. Another thing that I find is necessary is to teach our children not to go to other peoples' fridges and pantries without asking.... many children feel quite free to graze from others' larder whilst on a play date or sleepover. I still ask my mother if it is OK to go to her fridge or pantry. It was just how we were brought up!
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