Yesterday I came to the realisation that my fibromyalgia is not going to get any better. Nor is my diabetes, hole in the heart, back pain, angina, asthma or torn meniscus.
My blood sugars are also high, but not as high as Chris's, but it is a warning to me as well. I certainly do not want to go through what Chris is going through with trying to get the right amount of insulin and the horrid symptoms he endures.
My hole in the heart means my right lung is not oxygenating properly and because I need a fourth stent which I have refused (another story), I have constant stable angina. And asthma on exertion.
My blood pressure is high as the pain from my back and torn meniscus in my knee is bad. Finally, with Chris being ill now, my depression is back. I hurt when he is hurting.
Like any Sacrificial Home Keeper, I am trying to keep my home clean and tidy and here I too am failing. I see no end to it...
I was talking to my twin sister yesterday and she said that it is possible to get a bit of subsidised home help through the Australian Government's Age Care plan. So I applied and am going to be assessed tomorrow. I am eligible, as I am now 67 and my husband is 70 and is unable to do housework with me.
I can do some housework if it is waist level: dishes, cooking, washing, dusting. But I cannot even sweep let alone vacuum or wash my floors, as my tendons and muscles scream for mercy with my fibromyalgia and my back joins in sympathy, followed by angina and asthma. So basically I need someone to clean my floors and to change our bed.
As a woman who has been a house keeper since 1969 and brought up five children, it really galls me that I have to admit that I cannot maintain my own home by myself anymore.
So, I am giving in trying to keep up like before when I was well. But I still will be doing meal planning, grocery shopping (online), cooking, cleaning my kitchen including dishes, bill paying and budgeting, washing, ironing as needed, refilling prescriptions, social planning and gift buying, looking after Xena our cat, and most importantly, looking after Chris's and my health.
In saying I am giving in trying to be strong like before, I am not giving up: one way or another, my home will be clean!
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent. Psalm 71:9
Hi Glenys! You are right, you are not giving up. We all have to ask for help at some point, and yes, you need it. I'm so sorry to hear about the pain you are both in. I wish I was your neighbor. I have a neighbor who is legally blind. She can do much for herself, but every once in awhile she whispers, Will you go about and take down any cobwebs you see? Right now she has a roommate so I'm not needed except to help her at tax time. But I've often thought about who would help me when I need it, and realized I'm not to worry about it, help will come. I hope you get someone you can trust and does a good job. Janine
ReplyDeleteThat lady is so blessed to have you come when needed! I believe that you and the roommate are meeting her need under God's watchful eye of concern for her! Thanks for taking the time to stop for a cuppa with me today. Blessings to you, Janine!
DeleteIt's releasing when we realize our capacity isn't what it once was & a little assistance is warranted.
ReplyDeleteI do understand limited capacity, also having Fibromyalgia & autoimmune chronic conditions.
We have a wonderful country here in Australia that provides such assistance & is such a blessing from our heavenly Father.
You're most welcome to join me in a cuppa at Tea With Jennifer,
Bless you,
Jennifer
I am so thankful that we have assistance like this and I am grateful to have it. It is difficult to accept that you are ageing and that your body is letting you down. Thanks for sharing a cuppa with me today, Jennifer.
ReplyDeleteI understand the want to have a clean home. I get out of sorts when things are disorganized or dirty. However, I'm learning to let go a little. If I'm up to it, I do 20 min. of vacuuming and then rest and do something on the computer for 20. Or lay down on my hot pad while doing some meditation or stretching. Take care of yourself, Glenys. Giving up is not giving in. Giving up on past expectations is not giving in. It's actually the way to going forth in the best way possible.
ReplyDeleteKatie, I go through cycles of acceptance and then regret. I think it's truly a grieving process. Grieving for the woman I used to be. Thanks for sharing a cuppa with me today!
DeleteI'm so sorry you're dealing with these hard things. It is not giving up to get help. Thank you for sharing this. We all need help in different ways in life. I hope you find relief. Visiting today from the Inspire Me Monday link up. Have a beautiful week!
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking tea with me again today, Marielle!
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