Taking pride in your washing

Have you ever thought that doing the washing was not that important? Clothes are a witness to the world of the type of wife or mother you are. It is said that clothes maketh the man. In this world of ours, where man looks on the outward appearance, it is true. God does know our heart but man only has his senses to go by. If our family’s clothes are not cared for properly, if our husband goes to the office in an unironed shirt or crumpled trousers, not only does it reflect badly on you, but also may hold him back from that promotion he has been hoping for.

The children’s clothing too can tell whether a child is loved or not. A child may very well have clothing that has dirt on it from play, but most of us can tell if a child’s clothing is really just dirty from play or plain filthy.

I believe that clothes should be well maintained and ironed. They should be modest and reflect cleanliness and be spotless. Proverbs tells us that the godly woman wears expensive clothing. She dresses well and maintains her family’s clothes. Her husband is known at the gates of the city- obviously well respected. Can you imagine the amount of respect he would have if he was dressed in clothing that was dirty and crumpled?

Doing the family washing is not hard if you think it through. I wash everything in cold water. I soak the whites overnight in cold water and detergent which is specifically made for cold water washing. I do the same with the towels. I add a 50/50 solution of white vinegar and fabric softener- that makes them nice and fluffy and odour-free. My washing is always clean and fresh.

I usually hang it outside to dry or over the clothes horse under a ducted heating vent in the wet days. Saves on electricity bills and I also think I save money by using the cold water. (My Mum always used warm water/ cold rinse) But honestly, we are on a tight budget and I need to squeeze every way I can to save money. I have found that sometimes hot water washing can make clothes stiff and they can lose their colour quickly.

I know that doing the washing seems to be one of those chores that we either love or hate. It seems a small thing, yet the maintenance of our clothes detract or enhance our overall presentation and speaks volumes. I am sure the Proverbs 31 woman must have taken pride in her washing and family’s presentation- we can afford to do no less!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"Her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders of the land" Proverbs 31:23

What a drenching!


There's nothing nicer than being in bed listening to the rain on a tin roof. Especially if you don't have to go out in it...

L

I took this picture from our back door just after I fed some bread to the birds that frequent our garden. I love the smell of the rain! We are getting some relief from the heat with a top temperature forecast for 21C or 69.8F. 

It was my plan to go to church this morning, but with all the storm activity yesterday my fibromyalgia's flaring and I honestly can't make it. Hopefully, next Sunday will be better.

Usually, I listen to the Bible on You Tube and worship and rest at home when I can't go. Which is often, unfortunately. 

I will be hanging up the clothes I took out to wear there this morning. Later on I will cook some curried sausages in the slow cooker, which is my favourite way of cooking when I am in a flare.

There are a few dishes in the sink soaking in hot soapy water as per Sylvia's Sunday List. I will attend to them later on after I have had a rest. 

It isn't ideal that I am seeking to go back to bed so early in the day, but such is the life of a chronically ill person. I no longer feel any false guilt over it like I did in the early days of finding out what my new normal would be.  I can only get through this flare by resting...

So list of to do's today:

  1. Hang up clothes
  2. Set slow cooker going with sausages for dinner
  3. Rest

And last but not least, I will be rejoicing as more rain falls giving our parched land a drenching! 


What more can I say?



Over the years, I have heard a lot of false teachings, seen a lot of strange things, and read a lot of false theology.  I have been the victim of some false teachings and false accusations, and when I questioned them, I was told that I had an unteachable spirit....  I have been swept along in hyper-faith teachings, until I realised that the problem with these is that they fail to allow God to be sovereign... they promote Self over God... sound familiar?

We are called not to judge people, however, we are wise to discern first what we will accept is from God. Be wise and do what the Bereans did- check everything you hear or read against the Word. If it doesn't line up, ditch it....and if someone doesn't agree with you after checking with the Word, don't accept what they have to say- especially if they say you disagree because you have an unteachable spirit.

If you have weighed up the teaching and found it contrary to the Word, and then someone tells you that you have an unteachable spirit, it closes the door to further conversation with them. Whatever they are teaching is not scriptural and they are not open to correction. What more can I say?

© Glenys Robyn Hicks


These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so. Acts 17:11

First we have tea


We had a very fitful sleep last night due to the temperatures being so high yesterday. Our reverse cycle air conditioner just doesn't make it up to the front of the house and our bedroom is right at the front, faces east and catches the sun all day. It was like an oven in our room with the temp being 23C all night. Our fan only blew hot air around....

It is supposed to be 30C today with thunder storms later. We always have our Emergency phone app on to advise us on fire activity as we live in the country. Last year Chris's son, who lives near us, had to evacuate his family because of fires and this is something we are prepared for. 

In the front guest room we have our important documents, spare medicines and some clothing and our photos on USB  disk. They are easy to grab in case we get the evacuation call. With high fire danger today and lightning strikes a possibility, we have our fire plan in place. Yes, it's firmly in place,  along with our little white cat, Xena's cat cage. Just in case...

I am currently listening to the Bible on You Tube and it is great for times when I am in a fibromyalgia flare and can't take in what I am reading. This is my preferred method of quiet time on days like today when my fibro is bad and I am lacking sleep and spoons

So because of lack of spoons and much heat, we plan to stay home today. So far, I have showered, dressed and taken my medications. I have a few things planned for today:

  1. I need to fold and put away three loads of washing.
  2. I want to make a lamb stew in the slow cooker for dinner (so as not to heat up the kitchen)
  3. I want to resume following FlyLady by jumping in wherever the zone is for today.

I usually use FlyLady and Sylvia Britton's Lists for chronically ill women depending on how I feel each day.  I use the List for the day, then I may follow FlyLady's zone for 15mins. Today I am doing 15 minutes of cleaning in Zone 1 in FlyLady.

If I get these three things done today, it will be good. I will just cross off those things I achieve. We will see. But first we have tea. Everything goes better with a cup of tea!


Grace-filled keyboard warriors


I  have  blogged  for over  twenty years  now.  As  a  chronically  ill,  mostly  house-bound woman,  it  is  a form  of witnessing and serving God that is achievable for me. And although I feel close to God in the writings and  I enjoy a sense of usefulness, there's often horrid comments behind the scenes which spoil it all...


These comments are  like hounds baying for blood if a post happens to be something readers disagree with. And, yes: it's usually taken out of context to prove their point. Sad thing is it's actually God's Word they are fighting over. Still, it's all good- as long as we remember for Whom we write. 

This is not limited to blogging comments, but social media in general. People are often so aggressive and needlessly rude. It's almost impossible to post anything without the drama of offending someone. Which isn't often the case at all.

I often wonder just what these keyboard warriors think when they spew hateful comments from their keyboard. Are they not aware that there's a person with feelings on the receiving end? or don't they care?  I believe it's the latter...

It's quite easy to insult or demean someone you can't see. It's akin to the pilots bombing the cities in war time- just release the bombs and high tail it out of return firing range. They don't deal with the death, destruction and carnage at ground level...

But  ultimately,  words  are  as damaging as those  bombs.  We  have  people who have  suicided over being bullied online. We have to stop and think before we write. Written or spoken words have the power to harm or uplift.

In light of this, I have culled my friends list on Face Book and also have reassessed and often left, those groups and pages that are rife with trolls who hurt each other with hurtful comments. 

Some of these groups were Christian groups where people spoke "in love". There's nothing loving about demeaning someone online under the guise of helping them avoid error. Let all be done in love. The love of Christ.

My hope  is that  keyboard warriors will  actually stop and think before they slam into someone.  There's a place for correction and  there's a  Way.  The Way.  Let's use our keyboard to bring the best out  of ourselves and to others.  In love. In humility. In Truth.


Let  us  use  our  keyboards  to  impart  hope,  strength  and  holiness as  unto  the  LORD.  May we  speak words of grace, seasoned with salt and may we  become  grace-filled keyboard warriors!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks


Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. Colossians 4:6

Balance in all things!


All my writings are a call for common sense and balance in Jesus’ Name! Jesus taught balance in all His sermons. In every thing we should weigh up what is written against the Word of God and not take any persons' message as gospel.

In particular, I am speaking of Debi and Michael Pearls' teachings in their books To Train Up A Child and Created To Be His Helpmeet. After reading them, some people rave of benefits to their marriage and in child training, while most are floundering in guilt because nothing is helping and this is quite often, because the Pearls imply that mostly the woman has the power to change things. Obviously, God is the One Who changes things and all other efforts are doomed to failure. Reliance on God is not stressed in the books, in fact, self-reliance are preached. Talk about building your house on the sand!

However, there is a grain of truth in their books. Let’s acknowledge what little is good in these books, but try and put out the fire of damage that it has the potential of doing in the lives of those who take the Pearls advice to the extreme…I know without a doubt that there will be people who are hurt by over zealous application of some of the basically unsound and unscriptural suggestions regarding suffering in marriage and in child training! 

I will write about them as long as they are selling their books, because Christian families are being hurt by their ministry.

We need to pray for these wives and children…they will be the ones suffering whilst the few who report good changes in their marriages and family rejoice! Only the LORD will know how many really will profit by these applications.

Before you follow any ministry, weigh it up by what the Word says. Is it biblical? Is it loving? Is it something Jesus would do?   Line it up in the Word and pray about it before implementing it. Balance in all things is critical...

© Glenys Robyn Hicks


Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy. Psalm 82:3

I don't think I stand alone!


After  my  critique of  Created To Be His Helpmeet, I received some not so kind comments,  one in particular from a lady called M... .here is my response to M for stating that I over reacted because of my abusive ex-husband and that this had "coloured my lenses"..

I reflected on M’s comment regarding my first abusive marriage and I had to concede that it had indeed ‘coloured my lenses’ in how I think about women suffering in silence at the hands of a violent husband. It has ‘coloured my lenses’ in how I see the church in general counsel the abused wife- and it certainly has ‘coloured my lenses’ to how I respond to the erroneous advice Debi Pearl dishes out to the suffering wife.

So, I stand guilty of having coloured lenses. I stand guilty of being sensitive to the weak, afraid and hurting godly wife who is abused. I weep when I read or hear of children living with domestic abuse. My lenses are very coloured here because I was raised in a home of not one, but two alcoholics (an uncle who lived with us), who made our lives miserable. My father would often push my mother and I would have to push him off her….yes, it coloured my lenses.

I cry for the children enduring not only the violence that alcoholism brings into the home, but these days- the drugs! My heart is heavy as I relive the pain of domestic violence seen through children’s eyes. And I cry for the feelings of powerlessness that it evokes in all on the receiving end.

When a book such as CTBHH comes along, I am hopeful that it will have real “meat” for the abused wife- some hope and helpful comments to encourage and edify! There are many that do address this issue-alas, CTBHH is not one of them. For the issue is almost deliberately side-stepped, leaving the reader with sand in her mouth.

So, why do I write about this in my blog? Is it a vent for my years of trouble? A cathargic release leading to healing? A bid to become “known” as a Christian writer? God forbid, none of these things! My primary focus is to encourage women- all women: single, happily married, unhappily married, divorced or separated or widowed. I truly love my Sisters in Christ everywhere and I try to uplift and edify them- because of love. God knows, I have had many things happen to me in 67 years: I simply share them in what I hope are transparently honest posts.

My heart is sad that CTBHH is such a divisive book- one is forced to take a stance one way or the other. This should not be! Sisters should support each other in the LORD not fight each other over this issue or anything else. I am sad that Debi and Michael Pearl’s Ministry opportunity was so badly squandered. So much good could have come from them if they had stuck to scripture and had not only compassion, but commonsense!

So I say simply- I stand with the weak and afraid, the uncertain and the searching! I stand with the little children who are switched from an early age- and I stand (trembling) against the sinful husbands who have to take responsibility for their own actions and who must stop pointing the finger at their wives. And I stand against Ministries that offer vinegar to the thirsty and switches for loving discipline and cuddles. I don’t think I stand alone…..

© Glenys Robyn Hicks



Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy. Psalm 82:3

God values the homemaker

All of us Christian wives who are seeking to live life according to God’s Word, are bombarded by feminist teaching and other unscriptural advice. We are further alienated from our sisters who work part-time because society sees them as contributing whereas it portrays us as parasitic!

So great is the attack on us, that often we sit scratching our heads and wondering if they could be right. As in all things, we would do well to seek what the Word of God says.

I have compiled some feminist and ungodly views and I have answered them with the Word. As always, we see the Truth of a housewife’s value in God’s sight is revealed in His Word. I am sure you can find other verses such as Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 that show how God feels about our work in the home.

Feminist and worldly view

“A parasite sucking out the living strength of another organism…the housewife’s labor does not even tend toward the creation of anything durable…. Woman’s work within the home is not directly useful to society, produces nothing. The housewife is subordinate, secondary, and parasitic. It is for their common welfare that the situation must be altered by prohibiting marriage as a ‘career’ for woman.” The Second Sex, 1949 by Simone de Beauvoir
Isaiah 3:11-13 Woe unto the wicked! it shall be ill with him: for the reward of his hands shall be given him. As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths. The LORD standeth up to plead, and standeth to judge the people.

“[The] housewife is a nobody, and [housework] is a dead-end job. It may actually have a deteriorating effect on her mind…rendering her incapable of prolonged concentration on any single task. [She] comes to seem dumb as well as dull. [B]eing a housewife makes women sick.” — Sociologist Jessie Bernard in The Future of Marriage, 1982.
Proverbs 31:27 “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat of the bread of idleness.”

“[As long as the woman] is the primary caretaker of childhood, she is prevented from being a free human being.” — Kate Millett, Sexual Politics, 1969.
Proverbs 31:28 “Her children arise and call her blessed…”

“[Housewives] are dependent creatures who are still children…parasites.” — Gloria Steinham, “What It Would Be Like If Women Win,” Time, August 31, 1970.
Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes

“[Housewives] are mindless and thing-hungry…not people. [Housework] is peculiarly suited to the capacities of feeble-minded girls. [It] arrests their development at an infantile level, short of personal identity with an inevitably weak core of self…. [Housewives] are in as much danger as the millions who walked to their own death in the concentration camps. [The] conditions which destroyed the human identity of so many prisoners were not the torture and brutality, but conditions similar to those which destroy the identity of the American housewife.” — Betty Frieden, The Feminine Mystique, 1963.
Psalm 127: 3-5 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

“[A]s long as the family and the myth of the family and the myth of maternity and the maternal instinct are not destroyed, women will still be oppressed…. No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one. It is a way of forcing women in a certain direction.” — Simone de Beauvoir, “Sex, Society, and the Female Dilemma,” Saturday Review, June 14, 1975
Titus 2:4-5 “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

[I]f even 10 percent of American women remain full-time homemakers, this will reinforce traditional views of what women ought to do and encourage other women to become full-time homemakers at least while their children are very young…. If women disproportionately take time off from their careers to have children, or if they work less hard than men at their careers while their children are young, this will put them at a competitive disadvantage vis-a-vis men, particularly men whose wives do all the homemaking and child care…. This means that no matter how any individual feminist might feel about child care and housework, the movement as a whole had reasons to discourage full-time homemaking.” — Jane J. Mansbridge, Why We Lost the ERA, 1986.
1 Timothy 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

We who make marriage and home our career usually do so at great personal expense. It is much more difficult to make ends meet on one wage and it is often made more difficult because of society’s general view of the stay at home wife and mother.  We become unwise when we look at our life's work in service to God and family through the world's eyes, not God's.  We must bring our thoughts into captivity of Christ....

In order to grasp the freedom and beauty of being a full time homemaker, we must come back periodically to the Word. Only in doing so will we see the true value of our calling in Christ, Who Himself came as a Servant to redeem us...

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: Philippians 2: 7

Job's comforters not required



I recently saw a post from a Christian woman who blogs about marriage and who believes she is an authority on all things spiritual. Along with this narcissim, she has a very prideful and uncompassionate and judgemental attitude. Plus she will never concede that perhaps, just perhaps, she is wrong.

She was exhorting us to not allow any sin into our lives: gluttony was high up on her list. And whilst gluttony is a sin- (anything taken into excess especially that which is harmful- is a sin)- she proceeded to broadcast her lack of knowledge in weight and health matters, and made the blanket statement that overweight is always due to gluttony and that is therefore sin.

So many chronically ill people commented and her attitude was one of "pipe down you glutton and confess your sin!" Many overweight people- Christians- were upset by her and I join them. I wrote a reply as this woman needs to be made aware that her judgements are not only spiritually wrong but also medically incorrect....

OK. So I am obese. After 3 heart stents, an underactive thyroid that took years to diagnose, fibromyalgia, Scheurrmanns Disease, spinal stenosis, hole in the heart and a torn meniscus in the left knee plus years of Prednisolone due to polymyalgia rheumatica, I don't move around much.
Every single one of the 30 pills I must take daily add to my chronic fatigue and lack of alertness. I eat healthy food and keep to 1200 cals a day. Due to meds, I must eat with them and I cannot fast- but I have tried. To make a simple equation in physics help me lose weight, I would be able to consume a plate of lettuce once a day. Which is unreasonable and unsustainable.
I am very close to God and am under absolutely no conviction that I am either a glutton or a consistent sinner. I am however, absolutely constantly reassured of a God Who loves me as a Father loves His child and I confess I cling to Him in my daily living with chronic illness and consequent obesity.
To have prideful and uncompassionate people act like Jobs' Comforters is no help at all and very unChristlike. Where is grace? Why the judgements? Thank God we have one Judge and Advocate: I thank God it's Jesus.
It is a shame that this woman is so unsympathetic and strident: she speaks a lot of truth regarding marriage, but again with the caustic remarks and prideful attitude one sees in her adored author Debi Pearl, as seen in her horrible book Created to Be A Help Meet.

A Christian teacher should be gentle, not prideful, harsh and downright cruel. There are so many of us who are overweight and who fight it daily. We do not need to be told that we are sinning because of our weight. It is a sad state of affairs when we have the added pain of condemnation from an unlearned individual to contend with as well.

Let us be slow to speak and then to do so in love, just as our Saviour taught us. We need His comfort as we battle our weight and illnesses, not some self righteous cowgirl galloping in on her stallion. Job's comforters are not required- (not that she tries to comfort anyway) Give us the comfort of Jesus.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks


I have heard many such things: miserable comforters are ye all. Job 16:2

You can still be a Proverbs 31 woman!


The Proverbs 31 woman is an example of a godly wife. It's not something we are going to be able to do all at once and for some of us, we may never accomplish all she did. But I believe emulating her example is a good thing. We have to have a goal. If you aim for nothing, you are always going to hit it. I used to get up real early, about 4.30 to get my husband off to work. I would have my quiet time then before my 4 children would wake up.

This worked for me when they were quite tiny too and I just carried it through. Until about 22 years ago when illness came in. I don't sleep well and wake up in lots of pain and I find if I try to get into the Word the fibro fog makes it impossible to focus. I don’t glean much from the Word and my prayers are disjointed. I put on some praise and worship music and just thank the LORD for giving some sleep and so on. After a hot shower and breakfast, I can study the Word and pray better. I think anyone with an illness or pregnant, or who has had a sleepless night with a sick child etc, has to be realistic and in tune with their body. She has to know what her own limitations are and modify what is an excellent goal to achieve it.

My modified morning routine now works better for me. And let's face it, any time is a good time to be in the Word! We all have to work out when it is best for us....then do it. My time of choice would be early mornings though. But I have had to learn to modify things in order to achieve them. And later is better than never! I believe that for all of us women trying to live a godly life, the Proverbs 31 woman is a guide of what to strive for. Even if we can't achieve all she has done (and you will notice that she achieved this over seasons of her life- not all at once!), still our hearts will be in the right place.

If women look at the whole picture with the view of doing it all NOW or not modifying it for themselves, they will most likely give up and not even try to emulate her example. Sometimes there are unresolved heart issues that the LORD has to work through with some women who won’t even try to emulate the Proverbs 31 woman. Not even with modifications. It may take some time until they are convinced that this holy calling in their lives is truly for their own good and contentment. Sometimes it takes a lot of washing with the Word before the soil of the world is cleared out of some women's eyes. They just need encouragement as God works in their lives.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


‘She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms.’ Proverbs 31:17

Missionaries in our own home.


These days feminism has belittled the role of wife, mother and homemaker so much that most young women see their role as unimportant. Nothing could be further from the truth.

A woman's presence in the home, training and raising her children properly is of utmost importance, both to the husband and the children. Her input in her children's upbringing will have ramifications for eternity.

Children are a blessing from the LORD and so is a home in which to raise them. The nurturing of children, of husband and home come from a faithful woman who sees the importance of her role as a Christian woman. 

Because society has for the most part become godless, the things of the LORD such as raising children, having a successful marriage and keeping a holy home are cast aside as things of little import. However, the truly wise wife will take her role seriously and raise her children as unto the LORD.

In this dark world in which we live, we wives and mothers have the perfect opportunity to keep guard over our homes, protecting the minds and peace of both our husband and children. This includes grandmothers when having their grandchildren stay.

It is no surprise that the enemy has propagated feminism as the way forward for womankind. It is destroying family life and making women discontented with their God given calling.

We have a big influence over whether or not our child will accept Christ as their Saviour. Child raising should be our first priority.  Your daily work as a wife, mother and homemaker is of great value to the LORD. 

Make no mistake: we are missionaries in our own home. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

“See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” Ephesians 5:15-17

Occupying until He comes!


As we have already discussed, it is harder to be a Christian as the days are getting darker. The time for the LORD'S return could be soon and we need to keep our lamps filled with oil so as not to be caught unaware.

How can we as chronically ill women keep our lamps filled with oil? It is hard enough coping with just breathing some days. But there are things we can still do to be prepared for the LORD'S return.

*  We can pray

* We can listen to scripture even if we can't read the Bible anymore.

* We can bear our illness with courage and fortitude

* We can exude faithfulness in tribulation

* We can encourage others in compassion and wisdom

* We can serve God by our witness as women of faith even in our most trying of times

* We can let our light shine in spite of chronic pain and tiredness

* We can show an integrity of faith and trust in God that shines like a beacon to the unsaved. 

We are called to serve God in whatever circumstance He calls us in. Sometimes that service may be from our sickbed or wheel chair.

In the eternal, that would not be a thing of no consequence. Your service to God will be rewarded.

We are only given this one life and whatever state we find ourselves in, we can still serve God and occupy until He comes. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

And he called his ten servants, and delivered them ten pounds, and said unto them, Occupy till I come.  Luke 19:13