Just run to God and pray

Prayer is as important to the Christian as breathing, but a  lot  of  Christians  don't  pray  much  or  are intimidated by the very word "prayer".

They get bound up with perfectionism, worrying that they may not be eloquent enough to pray properly. Then there is the fear of political correctness: how does one approach a loving but strict God?

Still others are afraid to approach God through prayer. They feel unworthy to come before Him. All these things are hindrances to prayer.

So what is prayer? Prayer is talking to God. It is expressing our heart to Him in the confidence that He hears. It is an act of faith. It is just having a conversation with Someone with Whom we have a personal and deep relationship.  And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask anything according to his will, he heareth us: 1 John 5:14

Prayer is not using long flowery words spoken with the eloquence of angels... it is deep and meaningful communion between God and ourselves.

Prayer is knowing that we have a heavenly Advocate: Jesus Who intercedes to the Father for us. My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous 1 John 2:1

Prayer is the us in our faith: Us and Him. It's the sharing, the confessing, the repenting, the guidance, the Spiritual Intimacy that our souls long for. It's the heartbreak, the grief and it's the Love of a Father for His Child: us. you. me.

Prayer is the medium for communication between the Divine and us. It's a natural outflow of a loving relationship with the Creator as we travel this journey called Life. It's freely available day or night with no wi fi connection problems...

It doesn't matter where you pray, or even how you pray if you are sincere. God already knows what we need and what's in our heart, but He longs to hear from us- and even when we can't pray or find the words to pray, the Holy Spirit prays for us. 

 Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.  Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8:26-27

We know that sometimes our prayers aren't answered as we had hoped, and sometimes unconfessed sin can hinder that. But it is still important to keep faith and keep praying for that is the umbilical cord or connection to communicating with our God.

Only God knows why He has not answered a prayer according to our wishes, but that is not a reason to give Him the cold shoulder. Take your disappointment to Him in prayer and re-establish that relationship with Him. He no doubt has something in our best interest when He withholds answering that prayer. Pray anyway. Even if it is just to be comforted. Pray.

None of us are worthy in our own right to approach the Throne of God and pray, but God sees us through the work that Jesus has done. Come to Him and pray about everything. All the time. For everyone. Even strangers. Even your enemies. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.Quench not the Spirit.Despise not prophesyings. 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Pray with clean hands and hearts for the prayer of a righteous man availeth much. And if your hands and heart aren't pure, pray for forgiveness with sincerity. Prayer will keep us safe from the Evil One and close to The One Who loves us and gave His life for us. And Who Himself prays to the Father for us. Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16

Let our first reaction in all things be to run to the Father and pray!    © Glenys Robyn Hicks

Empty buckets

I did an enneagram test for fun the other day. It said I was a 2 which basically is a helper who needs to be needed. It sounds like me. Or the past me.

Always trying to help and indeed, called on often in time of trouble, it has been my pleasure to respond to the call. Until recently.

Since we had so many changes in the last 6 months, I have found my spoons are lacking. I cry easily, both when I am sad and also when happy. I hunger for solitude and just watching the bird life around us. I need time to heal not only from the meniscus tear in my left knee, but emotionally. I am tired.

No matter how tired I feel, I drag myself to church because I need it. I am indeed grateful to the LORD for so much.  I love to listen to the Bible on You Tube and I play hymns in the background most of the day. Prayer is often ongoing for hours and I am gradually finding peace again.

It's good that we are now retired as there are days when the fibromyalgia flares and I can't stay awake, and I now just go to bed and have a nana nap whenever it is necessary. 

It has taken me 66 years to realise that it is true that 

1. I am not responsible for fixing everything or everyone who is broken. But I can pray for them.
2. It is OK to say no if I honestly can't cope with a request. I don't have to feel guilty 
3. It is OK to admit to being over something and not to be stoic and push myself mercilessly

It is important to recognise burn out and to take steps to heal. Taking care of yourself is not being selfish. There will be time after your healing to be a helper again. Not recognising burn out will result in you having a physical or emotional meltdown. And no one is going to benefit if you have lost your joie de vivre or your milk of human kindness is dried up and you have only empty buckets to give.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while: for there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat. Mark 6:31

Footnote: since writing this post, I have learned that enneagrams originated from new age practices and automatic writing. I will not be doing any quizzes etc regarding this again. Thank you, Janine for making me aware of this. 

Anxiety isn't sin: it's an emotion

Panic attacks and anxiety make us fearful of everything. Even of God.  

Wherein we are the strongest of Christians, hormones can trip us up, and there is nothing we can do. So know I am not speaking of constant lack of trust in God but a freak of chemistry that temporarily over rules that trust.

We can be the most trusting of Christians, but sometimes our bodies create too much cortisol and not enough seretonin, and we can find ourselves, against our own belief and trust in Christ, becoming overwrought and anxious. 

We can find ourselves teetering on the edge of panic and the Pit Of Despair is beckoning. We feel guilty for being anxious, but we can't seem to stop it.

We know we are told to not be anxious and not to fear, but here it is: anxiety has raised its' ugly head again. Is there no hope for us? Oh yes, our hope as always is in the compassion of Christ! 

In times like this, we can find ourselves doubting that God loves us and we are totally miserable. But it is at this time that we need to hang on to Jesus's hem and stay still. In spite of our feelings, He is still there with us.

Our accuser, Satan is anything but stupid and if he can get us to feel guilty about being anxious, then he has succeeded in causing us further pain. 

Jesus never makes us feel guilty: the Holy Spirit will convict us of sin and with true repentance, comes freedom. 

Satan is the accuser who leaves no room for repentance or mercy or grace or forgiveness. 

Guilt is a nail through the heart, conviction is a softening of the heart. 

By taking hold of God's promises by reading scriptures of hope you can climb out of the Pit. 

Please don't feel guilty for being down or anxious with panic attacks. It is what it is. But it's not a sin. It's a chemical imbalance. And it's an emotion. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee. " Isaiah 41:13

Thoughts as the day comes to an end

I honestly never thought I would ever face the day I didn't have a bath or take a shower every day. Or put it on my to do list. Or have to factor it in, weighing up pros and cons of using too many spoons or not.

I never thought I would ever flake out on my bed after taking a bath or shower, too exhausted to dry myself, instead allowing the ducted air from the heater vent to dry me off.

Never did I envision myself too sore to put on a bra, or too stiff and sore to put my leg through my knickers or leggings, or having to call for assistance to put on my socks and shoes.

I could never have imagined my days spent in a dressing gown or house robe, with my slippers my only comfort in a world of pain. Forgoing clothes too hard to don and that make me itch mercilessly.

I can never imagine being thought of with compassion by outsiders who do not suffer from chronic illness or pain. Who judge without knowing facts. And their judgement is cruelly wrapped up in a word. Lazy.

Now I can never dream of doing these things that I took for granted in healthier years. But I can dream of things I can still do in the privacy of my home. Accept what is. Create my own new normal. Reach out to others like me. And pray.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom" Psalm 90:12

God hates divorce, not you!

As a previously severely abused wife, I know the anguish that it brings, not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually. Sadly, the Church usually enables the abuser by blaming the wife and telling her to submit more... Lack of submission is rarely the problem here, in fact often a man can be so sick of heart or head that the more his wife tries to please him, the more intolerable his behaviour... I know because I have lived it for 25 years...

If you are being severely abused.. and you most likely won't make it public... then know there are scriptural reasons you can get out of that marriage... don't stay until you are killed or nearly killed... God hates spousal abuse more than divorce. Yes. More than divorce. He hates the violence. Not you. 

"For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one's garment with violence," says the LORD of hosts. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously." Malachi 2:16

It is important to remember that God sees all our anguish... and knows the truth. He sees that which goes on behind closed doors. I do not believe that He wants that for His daughters... If a spouse makes the covenant of marriage an unsafe place, then I believe God would have us out of it... he hates violence, He is a defender of the widow and fatherless.. He is also a forgiving God. And I believe from reading His Word and knowing the blessing of forgiveness in my life and getting some comprehension of the richness of His Grace and love towards us, that He would not have an innocent daughter of His suffering forever for the sins of her abuser. I asked Him for forgiveness for my part in the failure of my marriage, and I remarried nearly 20 years ago... I believe the LORD has blessed me and will do so for His other abused daughters... that is the God I know from His Word... Compassionate, loving, just and kind. He is our Father... saying that divorce and remarriage is the unpardonable sin limits the depth of His Grace and negates the Blood of Christ in my opinion...

Here is a good article I found...

We must follow the Spirit of Christ, not the Letter of the Law... Where sin abounds, His Grace runs deeper.  Trust in God to love you if you have to divorce. He does and we have His Word on that. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

He delivers me from my enemies. You also lift me up above those who rise against me; You have delivered me from the violent man. Psalm 18:48

Out of control

My first marriage was very violent and traumatic for me. I was constantly shouted at by my ex-husband, with him screaming at me so closely that there was spittle on my glasses and face. This was often punctuated with a smack across the face or a punch in the jaw. In fact, he dislocated it once and to this day, I have problems with clicky jaw and TMJ...

Just after our 17th anniversary, I was trying to get something down from our wardrobe and I was standing on a bedside table..the table toppled over and my leg was badly bruised, but what hurt the most was that my husband came in roaring at me and punched me between the shoulder blades.. I don't know what happened, but I started howling and screaming like a wild woman and I couldn't stop it or the shaking that convulsed my body... even he was shocked..

I rang my mother and she took me to the doctor who gave me an injection to calm me... it did nothing. Mum rang him and he said that she should take me to hospital as he couldn't help any further..   So for the whole day I sat beside my hospital bed, blowing into a paper bag and talking to the psychiatrist for more than a couple of hours. He gave me a diagnosis of  extreme  stress and urged me to leave my husband,  which I did 8  years later.  I was discharged and sent home to my husband who informed me that I wasn't mad and didn't need to go to hospital even though he said I was mad every time I reacted to his abuse..

Being so low emotionally and mentally gave me insight into the way people view mental illness.. my family were appalled that I needed to talk to someone about it and I was urged to keep it private. This served to make me feel more alone and isolated than I already felt. To this day, fully recovered and now happily remarried, I feel anger at society's handling of the mentally ill..

Nervous breakdowns, stress induced illnesses, bi-polar, depression, schizophrenia and other mental illnesses do not make a person bad or someone to be hidden from society. We need to remember that they are suffering from invisible illnesses every bit as painful as a broken leg. We need to pray for them and treat them respectfully. They already will be suffering the added burden of shame and guilt for something that is out of their control.. 

PS I have been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder now. But in spite of being happily remarried for 21 years, I find I am still effected by my past marriage...

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you.' Isaiah 41:13

Illness can't take everything away!

Chronic illness has the power to rob us of joy, movement and motivation and can place such a s train  on us and our families that we actually grieve for the life  we once had. Yet,  it is limited in what it can take, and here are some things it cannot take from us...

• It cannot take our salvation from us
• It cannot take our love for God or His love for us,
• It cannot take our honour, or respect or strength of character.
• It cannot take our courage, our motivation or our hope...
• It cannot take our honesty, our faithfulness to God and family,
• It cannot take our robe of righteousness or God's Spirit within us.

Trying as it is, chronic illness cannot destroy our walk with Christ, or preclude us from serving God in prayer and kindness, even from our bed... It cannot rob us of seeking communion with God or lifting our arms in worship or raising our voices in song...even if we are just mouthing the words...

Chronic illness can take our joy at times, and perhaps our life, but only on the day and hour that Christ allows it.  And the day it does take our all,  chronic  illness will be replaced with unimaginable  joy as  God gives us  our robe of  righteousness and our eternal reward... another thing that chronic illness can't take from us!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulations, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Romans 8:35

God is good all the time!

Recently my mother lost her battle with dementia. I would like to reflect and share on the LORD'S goodness to both her and myself in her passing...

Mum was a busy no nonsense sort of woman and for one reason or another, she *never* once told me she loved me. It was something she had told others, but not me. All my life, I was known as "The Other One" and felt that Mum only loved my twin sister and not me...

I wondered what was different about me that she didn't tell me and unfortunately it coloured my self-image into a blue haze of self-doubt. I felt unworthy and unloved in general... except for my Chris that is...

Mum battled dementia for years and she finally lost that battle a week ago. We were called to her bedside for our final farewells. During the first few hours Mum was semi conscious and aware enough to clean her mouth out with the cotton buds provided and tell them a resounding No!.when they tried to do it for her.. She reached out to us and touched our arms or face. Then gradually she worsened into a struggle for each breath and morphine was administered....

She loved us near her and those of us who were able came to see her off, but eventually it was just my granddaughter, Ash and myself there. I held Mum close and told her we were all here, just as she wanted. I told her I wasn't going anywhere and I stroked her face and held her hand. She was breathing so shallowly that I thought she had passed but a nurse came in and said not quite yet....

Looking at the skeletal face and shrunken hardworking hands, I stood up and kissed her forehead and prayed for God to give her His peace and to take her gently Home, and being in pain with my back from so much standing, I went to sit down again. Suddenly Mum called out quite strongly, "Stay!" So I immediately went back to her and told her I wasn't going anywhere and kissed her and held her as tightly as I could without hurting her frail body. She stared at me and said, "I love you!" 

She never took her eyes off me again, but stared straight ahead but the nurses said she was still hanging on, but barely. I got up again and I told her she was the best mummy anyone could want. I told her she was such a tired girl and it was OK to rest. Her eyes flickered and then stayed still. Ten minutes later she was confirmed as having passed...

I am grieving Mum's loss even though I am glad she's free at last and Home with the LORD. However, I am overwhelmed with equally healing emotions and gratitude that God allowed me to be there holding Mum's hand and comforting her in her last moments...

I am amazed that He allowed her to rally enough to say that which ended the pain of feeling unloved. I am grateful for that time together, when I was recognised as me, not The Other One.

God is good. All the time. His mercy endures forever.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints. Psalm 116:15

Thoughts as we travel the road of illness

It's amazing how when you aren't chronically ill how you take so many things for granted. Things like getting in and out of a bath, taking a shower, even toileting when your back is in spasm, bending forward to clean your teeth, standing at the kitchen sink, wiping benches in the kitchen, sweeping the floor or simply bending to pick something up....

It once was an easy task to climb up and down stairs, get on and off trams or buses, walk to the letterbox and push a shopping trolley around the supermarket. Not any more...

Everything we do has to be measured up and spoons metered out before a task is actually done. It certainly impinges on our spontaneity. For us, there usually are lots of ramifications when we have tried to be spontaneous. Pain and more of it!..

Normals would probably view our hesitancy to do a task as procrastination or laziness, and before becoming a Sacrificial Home Keeper or chronically ill woman, I would have as well... but we simply are adapting to our new normal...

When our illness is invisible, we just want to be respected and understood, but inevitably, we are judged. Especially so if we have become overweight because of illness...  it is us who suffer from guilt (false guilt really) that unkind judges of our body put upon us. This invariably leads to depression and overeating in an effort to gain energy to move more, or simply for comfort.

I am just so glad that God knows exactly what is in our heart and understands. He knows our frame and we are loved unconditionally- and this is so comforting to us who only know scathing remarks and criticism in this fallen world we are travelling through.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

The LORD will strengthen him on his bed of illness; You will sustain him on his sickbed. Psalm 41:3