Stay safe. Stay vigilant. Stay home.

Yesterday I received a message which I couldn't share as it was an audio message. It resonated as true to me and is worth passing on. It was written by a nurse who is working with Corona Virus patients. 

She states that China has found out some more facts about the CV from autopsies and this is how it works. Once in your mouth, it hangs around for a few days before infecting your bronchial tubes and lungs. It forms very thick phlegm which impedes breathing.

Before it gets to that stage, if one starts to get a sore throat, she recommends immediately gargling with salt, lemon or vinegar in water. It doesn't do too well in heat, so she recommends drinking hot drinks: soups, tea, coffee and warm water. By doing this, initally the virus will be transferred to the stomach where the gastric juices will destroy the virus. Obviously, washing hands, refraining from smoking and social distancing will all help us avoid getting the virus in the first place.

These steps seem commonsense to me and certainly can't hurt to try.... Stay safe. Stay vigilant. Stay home.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Come, my people, enter your chambers, And shut your doors behind you; Hide yourself, as it were, for a little moment, Until the indignation is past. Isaiah 26:20

New Year prayers

It is New Year's Eve and like millions of people around the world it is a tradition to make New Year resolutions. I have resolved to try to lose weight. 

As a chronically ill woman who truly doesn’t eat much, my weight gain is mainly inactivity and taking Prednisolone and other drugs for depression and blood pressure etc. If I dwelt on weight gain and my consequent obesity, I would be so depressed that I wouldn’t have time to write for the LORD, or feel close to Him. 

Having said that, it is my intention to give my eating to God and ask for His help in making good food choices, and in self control.  I will try to exercise gently by walking and seeking out a swimming pool so that I can exercise without hurting my muscles, back and torn meniscus. It will be a balancing act so as not to bring on a new flare of my fibromyalgia or an angina attack. 

Because obesity can effect our spirit, I would say that we have to bring negative thoughts about our bodies and weight loss in general, into the captivity of Christ and not allow it to distract us from what He has for our life. 

In practice,  healthy weight loss will take time and it will be necessary to be patient with my body as it slowly releases the fat and comes into subjection. For it is going to be a battle: I know that, and it is a battle I simply must win.

In starting each day, I will be asking God for wisdom in what to eat and when. I will be making losing weight a priority after God, one which I know is in His will and that will please Him.

I am expecting a very slow reduction in my BMI, a very slow introduction to movement and a rather rapid new intake of water daily. In return I am expecting a reduction in blood pressure, pain with arthritis, depression, GERD, and lower HBA1 C for my diabetes. I am expecting a reduction in medications. 

Boring subject that it is, nevertheless weight loss is often so depressing and consuming that it can distract us from our relationship with Jesus. In fact, weight loss can become an idol. We must avoid becoming obsessive with it.

A new outlook has taken me to seeing that loving myself enough to lose the weight that is literally killing me is pleasing to God. He wants the best for me. So knowing this, I can rely on help from the Holy Spirit in putting an end to living trapped in a sick and grossly overweight body. 

Love for God and pleasing Him,  joy in obedience in the journey, peace in being proactive, patience in the struggle, kindness to myself when I stumble, will produce a woman who is feeling better and more able to be kind, good, faithful and gentle, through obedience to God through self-control. The fruits are there for the taking after repentance and obedience. 

Pray for me as I try to regain my health.  I pray you have a blessed New Year and success in your own resolutions, whatever they may be.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

No fear in death

A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, 'Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side..' Very quietly, the doctor said, 'I don't know..''You don't know? You're, a Christian man, and don't know what's on the other side?' 

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, 'Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside.. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear.  I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing... I know my Master is there and that is enough.'   author unknown

I know that is how I faced the fear of death with my heart problems and misdiagnosis of a terminal illness.. I reasoned that as long as Christ was there, that was all that mattered!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:John 25:11

Sick wives despised by their husbands

I have recently read Debi Pearl's book "Created To Be His Helpmeet" Frankly, I think the book is scripturally unsound and borders on demeaning and insulting to women. What Debi Pearl says about the sick wife is just one area where I find a lack of compassion and an almost mysogynistic outlook. Here is what she says:

"being pitiful, hurt, discouraged and even sickly is one side of a “bad marriage” coin. Men in general (your husband in particular), are repulsed by women who project this image. A man’s spirit tells him his woman is rejecting him manipulating him when she regularly manifests a broken spirit, and he will react in anger.”

As a woman who suffers from illnesses that cause chronic pain and fatigue, I am so overjoyed to report that my husband doesn’t treat me as a faulty appliance which causes him great anger, but he cherishes me and tries to alleviate my suffering on bad days by sharing in my tasks and closing an eye to that which can’t be done on any particular day. After all, we promised to love each other in sickness and in health. Isn’t that type of commitment what God wants in marriage? So this chapter got me thanking God for the blessing of a husband who puts me first when I need it.

We sacrificial home keepers have enough on our plates already: trying to cope with our illness, be a good wife and mother and run our home. We often deal with disbelieving family members when the illness is an invisible illness like fibromyagia and chronic fatigue. Most likely you too have thought, like I do, that sometimes it would be easier to have an illness or disability that is highly visible rather than endure snide remarks about laziness and so on as we battle on.

Debi and Michael Pearl lack compassion, empathy and love. In my opinion, they lack many Christlike attributes that are the hallmark of a Christian. To put such a heavy yoke onto a sick woman's shoulders is to cause her added stress and anxiety. It is not the way of Christ.

I believe that the majority of sick women fight a courageous battle and do an overwhelmingly good job of being a Helpmeet to their husband. They are usually the hardest on themselves for they want to do that which their healthier Sisters do and they often fail. They do not need the likes of some author (Christian or not), putting the boot in and blaming them for their husbands' anger and spiritual unease. Nor do they need to be made anxious about their marriage.

Over the years, I have observed marriages where the wife is ill and I have seen that the majority of husbands are not as Debi Pearl claims. They love their wife and usually do all they can to support her in her homemaking efforts. They bring their children in line and demand that they take their mothers' health into consideration.

This is the love Christ wants for us, not the "love" portrayed by Debi Pearl. We would do well to reject her ideas on the sick spouse and to thank God that we have the Holy Spirit to lead us into Truth. He is indeed our Comforter.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks



And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick. Matthew 14:14

Have a good cry

So anyone who knows me, knows I am not a woman who cries easily. I am stoic and try to overcome my disabling symptoms. 

Yesterday, after seeing my useless and unfeeling doctor, I got home and the pain in my joints, the muscles tearing and the pain in my calf and back and chest reached a crescendo in a climax of searing agony. I just bowed my head and cried. Not loudly, but deep from within like a soda that's been shaken up and then uncapped. 

It was messy. It was wet. But it was healing. Finally, when I had cleaned up my face and wiped my eyes, I realised that it was OK to cry. And it was healing. The pain in my chest abated. I think an occasional cry is therapeutic.

So next time you fight back tears: don't. Let the healing tears come. Have a good cry. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? Psalm 56:8

Hanging on by a thread

We chronically ill women always have times when we feel that we are barely holding it all together. We are literally becoming unravelled and we feel like we are hanging on by a thread.

Flares, unrelenting pain, immeasurable fatigue, depression and lack of restorative sleep can all add to the feeling that we can't go on. Even breathing seems like an effort.

It is in those times that we must reach out to God and ask Him to give us the strength to get through each day- or especially the night which seems the longest when we long to sleep but can't.

We need to try to listen to the Word or put on some Christian worship music, and give ourselves over to relaxing as much as is possible for someone in the grip of pain or depression. But we have to focus on something positive, or else we will be getting a one way to the Pit of Despair. We don't want to go there.

By focusing on something positive, we can actually release endorphins, those chemicals that reduce pain and increase a feeling of well-being. 

Reaching out to God during these times is critical to our staying in control emotionally. But we must do it, in faith.

If the woman with the issue of blood hadn't reached out to Jesus by touching the hem of His garment, she would not have been healed.

I am not necessarily saying that you will get healed, even though it is possible of course. But you will be lifted up to a higher level of coping with it all.

Worship and praising God whilst suffering is the most exquisitely beautiful act of trust and reverence. It will lift us up and set the enemy of our souls to flight.

So, next time you are feeling you are hanging by a thread, make sure it's the hem of Christ's garment.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

And suddenly, a woman who had a flow of blood for twelve years came from behind and touched the hem of His garment. Matthew 9.20

In a panic attack, God is right there with us

We are all wonderfully and fearfully made. But sometimes in our genetic makeup, we inherit or are "assigned" genes that are predisposed to anxiety.  Or we do not produce sufficient neurotransmitters such as Seretonin or endorphins, which result in our nature being one of anxiety and fear.

Like many mental illnesses, people often only see the outward manifestation of our illness, which produces a response in us sufferers of panic/anxiety disorder that not only produces fear in us, but often derision and judgement from others.

The person who suffers from panic disorder and anxiety often suffers more acutely because people do not realise that our body simply is not programmed properly. Often we contend with alienation from others born of their misunderstanding of our condition. We suffer deeply.

We who suffer intense depression at times are not weak as some suppose. Indeed, because we carry our condition within ourselves, and exhaust our limited supply of Seretonin and other "happy" neurotransmitters, we battle our condition on a daily basis.

We do not wish to stay this way and fight it, praying constantly. And many of us feel abandoned by God when we need Him the most! Which is far more frightening than suffering rejection and judgement from others..

As a Christian who battles with this disorder, I know that often it is the sufferer of Panic/anxiety disorder who is really quite strong in character. We are born in a battle and this battle often continues all our lives. Even with God in our lives.  It is endogenous: meaning it comes from within and as such, we carry it everywhere.

I believe that we should seek out medications to help us. God made them for a reason. Just as I take my Diabex medication for diabetes, so I take my anti-depressants. With a glad heart. For we are to look after the body: it is a temple for the Holy Spirit.

I must bring every thought into the captivity of Christ. I try not to dwell on sad events that I can do nothing about except pray. I also try to remember to think only of those things that are pure and good.  And, most importantly, I practise forgiveness of those who are ignorant of my disorder. Ignorance is usually hurtful, but not intentional hurt.  People generally are ignorant of mental illness...I try to remember that.

By far the greatest self help is to memorise scripture and use it and apply it to your life, so that when the anxiety comes, you can put on the armour of God, and quench it with the Word.  YOU SIMPLY MUST REMEMBER THAT GOD IS STILL THERE AND LOVES YOU IN SPITE OF YOUR FEELINGS.

Emotions are not what our salvation is based on!

It has taken me a life time of conquering this disorder. It hasn't been easy, but it is possible to gain the victory. Panic and anxiety is NOT YOUR LIFE it does NOT DEFINE WHO YOU ARE!

Nothing, not even a panic attack can take your salvation away from you, no matter how much "IT" bares its' teeth at you!  This is a fact that you should cling to in those times!  We will overcome!..

I do not have constant depression or frequent panic attacks any more. For this, I praise the LORD and give thanks. I write of my experience with depression to bring it out in the open.

People are often ashamed of being depressed. Especially Christians who feel that they have let the LORD down. But that is not so. We are still good living people who happen to have a problem with brain chemicals imbalance. We are not second rate people like the Enemy whispers in our ear. And we are courageous.

We sufferers of this disorder are actually stronger than we think... and feel it or not, God is right there with us...

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

 This is my life verse: Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if  there be any virtue, and if  there be  any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8

Letter to those remarrying

As most of you already know, I am a remarried woman after a divorce from a violence-filled 25 year marriage. In my new marriage we have 6 adult children and 15 grandchildren plus a great-granddaughter between us. We have been married for 22 years. This can make for lots of misunderstandings when a new marriage takes place.

This discussion is not to debate the theological issues or fault-finding. It is to encourage you in making a truly fresh start as you seek to blend not only your lives, but that of any children of previous marriages. So here a few thoughts that come to mind.

Try not to fall into the trap of comparing former spouses or marriages. I think it is detrimental to the forming of a new family bond to liken your new marriage with your past one or to compare habits, lifestyle etc. Woe be to the spouse who voices an unfavourable comparison to his/her spouse- that is a powder keg of gunpowder in a new marriage!

Make a pact before the marriage where there are his and her children to treat them all equitably and restrain from making comparisons between yours and theirs.

It is critical to the new marriage and family that past issues have been discussed and sorted out if possible. Never in the heat of an argument should it be said that "you sound just like he/she did!" This is a whole new ball game!

Resolve to keep the priorities of a Christian home as they should be:

God

Husband

Wife

Children

Home

Church

Do not enlist your children as back up should an argument arise! They are no longer part of the former marriage but should be included into the new marriage as children of that marriage and not used as ammunition or cover.

Keep unkind comments about the other spouse's children, ex-spouse and family to yourself- it is counter-productive to the peace of your new marriage to drag that up.

Concentrate on fostering a peaceful home for the nurturing of children who are undergoing the test of a life-time and try to see the situation through their eyes. They probably are grieving over the loss of their dream of Mum and Dad getting back together. Be understanding and compassionate.

Even if you cannot in all honesty say you love them as your own, show your step-children Christ-like love and compassion and guide them towards acceptance of this new situation.

Remember that some things will trigger a flash back for you or your spouse from the previous marriage and try to be forgiving and understanding of them or yourself.

Above all, make Christ the Head of your home and marriage and commit this marriage into His keeping. Remember the reasons for the first marriage's demise and try to learn from it so as not to repeat any mistakes of the past.

Ask forgiveness from the LORD for any fault of your own and then move on to a new life of faith and forgiveness, resolving to make this marriage and new family solid on the firm foundation of Christ and His peace and love, and particularly, of His forgiveness and grace.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks

But thou, O Lord, [art] a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth. Psalm 86:15

Embracing the new normal

Chronic illness changes far more than our bodies.. it changes our sleeping patterns, our intimacy, our family life, our home and our mental state as social occasions dwindle. It can make us feel helpless.  But there is something we can do to help us wring out as much enjoyment as possible from our life. However horrid, this new life is our new normal... so we must live it, not merely exist, because this life is the only life we are going to have. 

The only way we can move forward is to accept that we are ill, and that our life will change. Only through acceptance will we learn to find joy in the every day and to be victorious. In spite of our illness. In spite of our pain. It takes courage. Lean on Christ and enjoy the good in life now.. as is. 

Not as we want it to be. It is the only life we have! It is a horrible thing to have to do...but ultimately if we want to have any enjoyment of our life, we have to face it and accept the new normal... it doesn't mean we will ever be happy with our lot, but we will be happier if we accept it... our old life is gone- the life we have now is the only life we have...

I have had to accept that Chris pushes me in my walker around the shops: it was humiliating at first, but if we want to shop together, I have had to accept that I can't walk far anymore... We have been looking to buy a wheelchair for me... something I have resisted, but now I see that my life can continue pretty much the same if I am sitting in a wheelchair...

Yes, I hate it- I really do. It is humiliating, humbling, and embarrassing- but if I want to live my life as I like, I have had to accept it. Like with the walker at first, I think I will become more used to it. The first step is for me to accept that my new normal is different.. and then I have to embrace it!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.  Psalm 90:12

God is good all the time!

Recently my mother lost her battle with dementia. I would like to reflect and share on the LORD'S goodness to both her and myself in her passing...

Mum was a busy no nonsense sort of woman and for one reason or another, she *never* once told me she loved me. It was something she had told others, but not me. All my life, I was known as "The Other One" and felt that Mum only loved my twin sister and not me...

I wondered what was different about me that she didn't tell me and unfortunately it coloured my self-image into a blue haze of self-doubt. I felt unworthy and unloved in general... except for my Chris that is...

Mum battled dementia for years and she finally lost that battle a week ago. We were called to her bedside for our final farewells. During the first few hours Mum was semi conscious and aware enough to clean her mouth out with the cotton buds provided and tell them a resounding No!.when they tried to do it for her.. She reached out to us and touched our arms or face. Then gradually she worsened into a struggle for each breath and morphine was administered....

She loved us near her and those of us who were able came to see her off, but eventually it was just my granddaughter, Ash and myself there. I held Mum close and told her we were all here, just as she wanted. I told her I wasn't going anywhere and I stroked her face and held her hand. She was breathing so shallowly that I thought she had passed but a nurse came in and said not quite yet....

Looking at the skeletal face and shrunken hardworking hands, I stood up and kissed her forehead and prayed for God to give her His peace and to take her gently Home, and being in pain with my back from so much standing, I went to sit down again. Suddenly Mum called out quite strongly, "Stay!" So I immediately went back to her and told her I wasn't going anywhere and kissed her and held her as tightly as I could without hurting her frail body. She stared at me and said, "I love you!" 

She never took her eyes off me again, but stared straight ahead but the nurses said she was still hanging on, but barely. I got up again and I told her she was the best mummy anyone could want. I told her she was such a tired girl and it was OK to rest. Her eyes flickered and then stayed still. Ten minutes later she was confirmed as having passed...

I am grieving Mum's loss even though I am glad she's free at last and Home with the LORD. However, I am overwhelmed with equally healing emotions and gratitude that God allowed me to be there holding Mum's hand and comforting her in her last moments...

I am amazed that He allowed her to rally enough to say that which ended the pain of feeling unloved. I am grateful for that time together, when I was recognised as me, not The Other One.

God is good. All the time. His mercy endures forever.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints. Psalm 116:15

Thoughts as we travel the road of illness

It's amazing how when you aren't chronically ill how you take so many things for granted. Things like getting in and out of a bath, taking a shower, even toileting when your back is in spasm, bending forward to clean your teeth, standing at the kitchen sink, wiping benches in the kitchen, sweeping the floor or simply bending to pick something up....

It once was an easy task to climb up and down stairs, get on and off trams or buses, walk to the letterbox and push a shopping trolley around the supermarket. Not any more...

Everything we do has to be measured up and spoons metered out before a task is actually done. It certainly impinges on our spontaneity. For us, there usually are lots of ramifications when we have tried to be spontaneous. Pain and more of it!..

Normals would probably view our hesitancy to do a task as procrastination or laziness, and before becoming a Sacrificial Home Keeper or chronically ill woman, I would have as well... but we simply are adapting to our new normal...

When our illness is invisible, we just want to be respected and understood, but inevitably, we are judged. Especially so if we have become overweight because of illness...  it is us who suffer from guilt (false guilt really) that unkind judges of our body put upon us. This invariably leads to depression and overeating in an effort to gain energy to move more, or simply for comfort.

I am just so glad that God knows exactly what is in our heart and understands. He knows our frame and we are loved unconditionally- and this is so comforting to us who only know scathing remarks and criticism in this fallen world we are travelling through.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

The LORD will strengthen him on his bed of illness; You will sustain him on his sickbed. Psalm 41:3