Marriage, motherhood, home: a balancing act!

Every wise woman builds her house but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands. I think the wise wife and mother realises that the whole family hinges on a good marriage. I think God, husband, children, home and church is a biblical approach to prioritising who comes first in your life. And as many a woman whose children have flown the nest will testify- if you haven’t nurtured your marriage during the child rearing years, you may very well end up being married to a stranger!

The sad fact is that we all grow and change throughout the years, so it is imperative that a wife make her husband number one during those years of child raising and keep her marriage alive and the intimacy (both physical and spiritual), fresh. Women who have devoted all their attention to their children and neglected their marriage can feel lost (even suicidal) when that focus is gone. And if it is further complicated by an empty marriage (shudder) A well-loved and respected husband usually makes a better and more confident father.

I think that if the husband is shown love and respect on a regular basis then he will not feel neglected when his wife has to look to the needs of his children before his own. Most men will not over react when their needs are temporarily put on hold whilst a baby is in need of feeding or changing or the children are fighting or in need of discipline or whatever. By making your husband number one after God, I believe it enhances a marriage and that in turn brings greater team-work in raising children.

There are obviously times when our children’s needs are more pressing than our husband’s, but if the wise woman has built her man up, and he knows he is King of his castle and has her heart, he usually understands that he may have to take a temporary back seat in her attentions. If the wife has torn her house down with neglecting her husband, being constantly unavailable or unaffectionate etc then it is highly likely that he will feel that he is not very important in her sight. He may even become bothered with feelings of guilt because he has jealous feelings towards his own children.

The whole business of child raising, marriage and homemaking is a balancing act which requires wisdom and prayer- and organization. I do feel too that sometimes children today are made a little too much of and I fear that we will reap the consequences of this in our own lives and in the next generation of adults. Balance is the key, I feel.

The wise woman will build her house by building up her husband, building her children up enough to make them confident adults but never to become the masters of the home. This is tearing your house down with your own hands. Build your home by seeking God’s divine order- Him, husband, children, house then church. By doing this, you will have a happy home and family and will be serving God as He purposes it. And you will reap the reward of a happy enduring marriage and well adjusted children.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

‘Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.” Proverbs 31:29