Welcome Validation: False Guilt's cousin



Sometimes when I am having a flare of my fibromyalgia, I find that I need to feel validated in my sufferings. Not many people believe that fibromyalgia is real, and when you feel wiped out with chronic fatigue, endless pain and brain fog for weeks at a time, you can suffer from False Guilt. This is a cousin to needing Validation. So, feeling like that, I decided to look up some sites and recap the symptoms of the complaint. Here they are:

Fibromyalgia produces widespread pain, disturbed sleep, and exhaustion from head to toe.1 Fibromyalgia means pain in the muscles, ligaments, and tendons—the soft fibrous tissues of the body. Although the muscles hurt everywhere, they are not the only cause of the pain. Instead, the diffuse, body-wide symptoms are greatly magnified by malfunctions in the way the nervous system processes pain.2,3

Regional muscle pain not related to arthritis or the nervous system also occurs in the majority of people with fibromyalgia.4 Patients describe this as firm knots in the belly of muscles, often causing restricted movement and radiating pain.5 These muscle nodules are myofascial trigger points and some researchers suspect that these painful areas overlap with the tender points used to diagnose fibromyalgia.6

The symptoms of fibromyalgia are unpredictable and most patients are frustrated by their physical limitations and inability to make plans. You may feel as though you have to "push yourself" to get things done.7

Most patients with fibromyalgia say that their muscles feel like they have been pulled or overworked, and sometimes they twitch or cramp.8 Even the skin may feel badly sunburned.9 To help your family and friends relate to your fibromyalgia symptoms, have them think back to the last time they had a bad flu. Every muscle in their body shouted out in pain. In addition, they felt devoid of energy as though someone had unplugged their power supply.

Given that the symptoms may be similar to a viral flu, experts in the field of fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome believe that these two illnesses may be one and the same.10 Gulf War syndrome also overlaps with these two conditions.11
Common symptoms:

Pain - Fibromyalgia pain has no boundaries. People describe the pain as deep muscular aching, throbbing, shooting, stabbing, or intense burning. Quite often, the pain and stiffness are worse in the morning, and muscle groups that are used repetitively may hurt more.12 In addition, the severity of regional pains (particularly those in the head, neck, shoulders and lower back) are a strong predictor of a person's overall pain rating.13 The muscles in these painful areas can feel tight, knotted and rope-like. Pressing on the firm, knotted region hurts and often causes the pain to shoot to other muscles when a myofascial trigger point is present.

Fatigue - This symptom can be one of the most incapacitating for people with fibromyalgia. Patients may feel as though their arms and legs are weighted down by concrete blocks and their bodies may be so drained of energy that every task is an effort.7

Memory and Concentration - Difficulty concentrating and retaining new information may seriously interfere with everyday mental tasks.14 This symptom is referred to as "fibro fog" and may hinder job opportunities. In particular, fibromyalgia patients have serious difficulty retaining new information if they are distracted.15

Sleep Disorders - Patients report trouble falling asleep and more importantly staying asleep, but the unrefreshing quality is what makes the disorder much worse than insomnia. Repeat arousals prevent patients from reaching deep, restorative sleep.16 As a result, the night is spent in "quasi-sleep" and patients wake up feeling as though they have been run over by a Mack truck. An overnight sleep study will likely show repeat arousals with bursts of awake-like brain activity occurring throughout the night, but a specific sleep disorder may not be identified.17

Exercise Difficulties - Moderate intensity exercise activates a powerful pain-relieving system in healthy people, but it makes the pain of fibromyalgia worse.18 This is why initiating an exercise program may make you achy and tired. However, if you do not exercise on a regular basis, the performance of normal daily living activities will start to cause more pain. Rather than give in to the increased pain sensitivity related to exercise, patients are advised to do mild exercise in short intervals (such as five minutes at a time) to keep the muscles fit while not over-taxing them. A study in Sweden revealed that half of the fibromyalgia patients found it impossible or difficult to climb stairs and a majority of patients could not run. Just standing for five minutes was extremely taxing to one-fourth of the patients.19

Irritable Bowel Syndrome - Constipation, diarrhea, frequent abdominal pain and bloating, abdominal gas, and nausea represent symptoms commonly found in roughly 40 to 70 percent of fibromyalgia patients.20

Chronic Headaches - Recurrent migraine or tension headaches are experienced by 50 to 70 percent of fibromyalgia patients. Most headaches are rated as severe, occur at least two times per week, and often have a migraine component.21 Referred pain from myofascial trigger points in the shoulder, neck, and head muscles are suspected to be responsible for most tension-type headache and also play a role in migraines.22

Jaw Pain - Temporomandibular joint dysfunction causes tremendous jaw-related face and head pain and affects one-quarter of fibromyalgia patients. Typically, the problems are related to the muscles and ligaments surrounding the jaw joint and not necessarily the joint itself.23

Other Common Symptoms - Non-cardiac chest pain, acid reflux, irregular heart beat or palpitations, shortness of breath, numbness and tingling sensations, the feeling of swollen extremities, chemical sensitivities, nasal congestion, premenstrual syndrome and painful periods, irritable bladder, interstitial cystitis, vulvodynia (vulvar pain), difficulty focusing eyes, dry or burning eyes and mouth, dizziness or feeling faint, profuse sweating, muscle weakness and balance issues can occur.24,25,26 Fibromyalgia patients are often sensitive to odors, loud noises, bright lights, some foods, and often the medications that they are prescribed.27

Aggravating Factors - Changes in weather, cold or drafty environments, hormonal fluctuations (premenstrual and menopausal states), stress, depression, anxiety, and over-exertion can all contribute to fibromyalgia symptom flare-ups.12
Fibromyalgia Quick Facts

* Affects 3 to 5 percent of the general population28
* Occurs in people of all ages, even children
* Men develop fibromyalgia too, although more women are diagnosed with it
* Symptoms are chronic but may fluctuate throughout the day
* Roughly one-quarter of people with fibromyalgia are work-disabled12

The general consensus here in Australia is that fibromyalgia is all in ones' head and that the sufferer is a malingerer. Certainly this exacerbates False Guilt and invites his cousin, Validation into the scene. Although I am aware of false guilt leading to me wanting to feel validated, I still succumb to it at times of prolonged flares such as this one I am experiencing at the moment.

I have *every* one of these symptoms, so I feel validated. So welcome Validation: hopefully he and his cousin won't be staying long!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks


Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD. Psalm 31:24

Our Prince of Peace Forever

 


 
So many years ago, the earth saw a miracle that blessed humanity for all time...


The earth that saw Jesus'  birth 33 years before, drank in the Blood that flowed freely.... freely running, freely given, freely pardoning, freely saving unto eternal life anyone who would only believe in Him.

The same earth that is Gods' footstool, trembled at the cross alongside the centurions and soldiers and those few of Christs' followers who remained or who watched from a distance....

Unable to withstand the magnitude of atonement and celestial grief, it swayed in its power, reeling as someone in shock...

And utter darkness covered the earth as it shook, highlighting the terror as God turned His Face away from His Son, unable to look upon the sin of mankind that His Son had taken upon Himself...

It violently heaved in the aftermath of a crucifixion that saw the greatest gift of redemption the earth would ever know, releasing resurrection power to many who had died and tore the Temple veil in two.

Then hastily the earth swallowed the body of Christ into its maw of hewn rock, as it had done to men since Abels' untimely death until this day.... yet no ashes to ashes or dust to dust: no decomposition...

And another Sabbath passed, not shrouded in joy and welcomed since the birth of the Jewish people, but bringing with it a desolate cloak of disbelief, shock and despair that threatened to engulf the little band of believers who had trembled at Christs' words... unaware that triumph was already His. And theirs.

Beneath, the earth reeled as Christ stripped Lucifers' hopes of victory against a God Who now presented Himself King of Kings and Everlasting God.- Light of Light, Holder of the Keys of the Kingdom, destroyer of death and sin.... and Lucifer and his minions  trembled.

The earth marvelled at the intensity of the Power of Resurrection... molecules and atoms infused with Life,  vibrant in a way it vaguely remembered at its birth so many aeons ago.... magnificent creative force, God breathed life and Power.... Pulse of God.

Was ever there a time like this as Creation remembered Diety's Touch, revelling in His Footprints as His pierced Feet swung from the burial ledge, and His Hands that held the weight of the world folded the shroud so hastily bound around His lifeless Body 3 days ago?...

An almost forgotten thrill caused the earth to shudder as the Power of Gods' angels rolled away the enormous stone that blocked the burial chamber....

And it sang in ecstasy as the Feet of its' Creator once again walked amongst men.... victorious King, conquering Saviour, merciful God, everlasting to everlasting Prince of Peace.....


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


"He is not here; he has risen!" Luke 24:6-7

Her Kinsman-Redeemer

 


Through new-born eyes the infant King stares at Mary's face, 
Her deep brown eyes drinking in the sight of Him-
His tiny hand clasped strongly around her finger-
The first touch of God incarnate amongst man.
He is God's own Son-
Her Kinsman-Redeemer.

Through pain-filled eyes the crucified King stares into Mary’s face again,
Entrusting her into John’s care-
Longing to reach out to her with His pierced hands
To bring her the comfort of God -
He is her own Son-
Her Kinsman-Redeemer.

In death His glazed eyes still behold her and all mankind for whom He died,
His bloodied hand now resting on Mary’s shoulder
Comforting her as she cries in her grief –
Even in death loving her,
Her victorious Saviour and evermore
Her Kinsman-Redeemer.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks 

“When Jesus saw His mother, He said, ‘Woman, behold your son!” John 19:26

Called to remember


 

Today is Maundy Thursday.  It was on the night Christ was betrayed by Judas Iscariot. He had a Seder or Passover meal with His disciples.

Knowing that He would be betrayed, Jesus donned an apron and washed the disciples' feet, showing that the greatest would be a servant.

Later He instituted the First Communion or Eucharist, asking His disciples and prophetically, all believers to come, to remember Him until He comes again.

I have been reflecting on how believers these days generally think of these sacraments at Easter. Many these days do not go to church, let a lone remember Christ by taking Communion.

Although I can no longer attend church per se, I will be worshiping Christ and remembering Him by taking Communion at home.

Perhaps you could consider taking Communion at home if you cannot attend church this year. I think it's important that we aquiesce at least by remembering Christ and taking Communion with the Body of Christ whether corporately or alone.

It's the least we can do for Christ Who asked very little of us, except to remember Him,  on the eve of His betrayal and subsequent crucifixion. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks
 

And He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, "This is My body which is given for you; do this in remembrance of Me." Luke 22:19

Not ours to write




It is said a mother will raise a child for 18 years or so. What is not told you is that with each child, a mother’s heart is fragmented and not only will she give that child a Life Story at birth, but she will also give it her heart forever. Throughout the rest of her life she will be her child’s biggest influence, inscribing values and skills in its Life’s Book. 

Every Page of that child’s life will be scrutinized and lived through. Every word, every full-stop measured in feeding progress, weight gain, colic and diaper changes. Every sentence will be measured in her child holding up its head, smiling, grasping and focusing. Each early Chapter will read as accomplishments in teething, crawling, sitting unsupported, first words and walking.

 

Shortly, a mother will become an avid Reader of the Book of her child’s life and will pore through it with rapt attention. She will often re-read the previous Chapters, seeking reasons for the present Story unfolding in the most recent Page of her child’s sojourn through life. Quite often this will be a fruitless exercise as she cannot re-write the Chapters. However, she will certainly be able to enhance the outcome of future Chapters by passing on her foresight and life skills to her child.

 

As the Reader and not the Writer of this Book, the mother will find that she becomes absorbed in every Chapter as it unfolds. Often against her will, she will find that she lives every hurt and disappointment, every heart ache, every pain and illness as if it were her own Life’s Story. And often, being a loving mother, she will wish that the sad Chapter was her own and not her child’s….but she is only the Reader.

 

Every accomplishment, victory, honour or triumph will become personal as a mother reads and lives her child’s Story.  Indeed many mothers will find kudos in their children’s unfolding Life Story, especially if that child is successful. However, successful or not, a mother will still remain a loyal and enthusiastic Reader.

 

It is not unheard of for a mother to question the Writer of this Book whilst at the same time yearning for the Writer’s direction. But try as she might to become the Writer, this is a Book that she cannot write. She can and should, enquire of the Writer for guidance but in doing so, she must accept that the Editor’s decision is final.

 

It is interesting to note that just as a mother thinks she may be coming to the end of this Read, that she will find there is a Sequel which is just as compelling as the original. This comes in the form of grandchildren. After one glance at the Prologue, she will find herself giving yet more of her heart as her mind relives the first chapter of her own child’s Life Story.

 

With shaking hands and teary eyes, she will scan the Page eagerly, knowing that she will be a reader of this new child’s Life Story for many chapters to come.  And she will undoubtedly thank the Writer as she lovingly fingers the new Page.



 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks  



He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD. Psalm 113:9

Where God wants me to be

 




Next month I will be 72. All things pertaining to ageing are at an all time peak. Everything that can ache, does.

Every day I need a nana nap to get through to dinner time and really there's nothing I can do to change that. I am forced to go with the flow.

I used to buy Lite N Easy food as part of my Aged Care package, but Chris and I have become sick of it. I have no choice but to cook.

As dinner times are when my spoons are usually spent, I sit down at the kitchen table and prepare whatever I can beforehand. Then it's just a matter of cooking some meat and doing some gravy.

Both ageing and fibromyalgia keep me living in pain, but I try to not complain about it too much.

I know at this season of my life that I can take that nana nap when I need to or leave the clothes to be folded another day. Likewise I can go to bed as early as I want... there are no schedules to keep.

Each day brings its challenges but even so, I am glad to be here...life is still sweet!

Even in this quiet season of my life it is very comforting to know that I am just where God wants me to be.  


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


And my people shall dwell in a peaceable habitation, and in sure dwellings, and in quiet resting places; Isaiah 32:18 

Words that bless

       


               

When I was young growing up in a house of alcoholics  I often heard profanities and swearing. Even at a young age, I hated it and grew up to be anxious hearing it.


With their sobriety, however temporary, came a respite from words of filth and it was a welcome time of reasonable peace.

Later on in my first marriage, I was the target of abusive filthy comments punctuated by blasphemies. It was soul destroying. I longed for the peace that wholesome words brought.

The words of the world, especially of the base world where God is not a holy word, but a blasphemed expletive, and people are described in terms that would make a sailor blush- do not edify, but bring the hearers  down. 

Words are so powerful and can be used for good or evil. They can be as sharp as a sword, piercing through one's heart, remembered for all time. Or they can be a soothing balm.

The scriptures tell us the power of words are so effective that we are to choose our words wisely, edifying and building up only. We are to have kindness on our tongue at all times.

The words we speak will show what is in our heart and soul. We will be judged for every idle word we have ever spoken.

Words that uplift us and that calm us and give us peace are what I term "Kingdom Words"...

Let's think of that peace by reading some Kingdom Words in the Bible, of which there are thousands. I have selected a few for illustration...
 
grace, forgiveness, mercy, love, justice, righteousness, holiness, kindness, honesty, peace, hope, joy, faithfulness, gentleness, humility...

 

Let us cultivate our speech to be a blessing to the hearers and let us train ourselves to reject the use of questionable and hateful language.. Let "Kingdom Words" have dominion in our vocabulary and bless others with them.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Ephesians 4:29

Still or not, you suffer




I have been very ill off-and-on for several weeks now. But I needed to drag myself out of bed and "Make an Easter for the Family" as Connie Hultquist would say.   I will be okay. My husband (who is disabled) and I learn to live in pain and suffering.  He will say that he is going to suffer whether he is doing something in life, or sitting still and hurting.  He chooses to do things and live, rather than do nothing and suffer. He will suffer no matter what. But we put on a happy face and enjoy the family and our home and all the wonderful blessings we have.  Mrs White of Legacy of Home

 

As a chronically ill woman, I have seen two lots of sufferers- those who feel like Mrs White and I and those who take to their beds and surrender to it.

Just because the former types of ill people push on as much as humanly possible does not mean that their illness is all in their head and therefore subject to discipline of oneself. 

It means that they realise that they may as well try to live as normal a life as possible instead of taking to their bed like the latter half and doing nothing... 

We all have days where illness or disability makes it impossible to do anything,  ensuring we have to rest, but those who never try to live won't even try to have a life even on better days.

Last week I had a fibromyalgia flare and it was truly torture to try to do those jobs I need to do.. I had no other choice than to rest. But today is the first day I felt a bit better, and so resumed my "normal" routine and feel better emotionally for it.

Others would prolong the flare and continue to stay in bed as they often fear bringing on another flare. Instead, they often succumb to depression because they have mentally  put themselves in the invalid role and therefore often endure the loneliness and joylessness of the invalid.

Over the past 24 years of fibromyalgia and other illnesses, I have decided to push myself a little in order to enjoy more of my life. But there's always a balance- if I feel particularly down, I will take a nana nap or actually go to bed.

The trick is learning to co exist with these illnesses and try not to allow those dictators called "Spoons" to literally dictate how we will live each day and how much enjoyment we will derive from each of those days.

As I have been up for quite a few hours already and done some housework, my muscles are cramping and I need to rest. But at least I have some job satisfaction and can cross some tasks off my daily to do list...

Until next time, may you find some spoons to energise you and some motivation so as to enjoy the most of your life that you can today...

Don't let the spoons dictate your life every moment.. still or not, you suffer..

 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks


So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.  Psalm 90:12

Unwanted blessing



So forty-five years ago I was having a cup of tea with my new neighbour. She was a Christian and I was a babe in Christ.

She already had two children and was dismayed to find herself pregnant with her third. Planning to adopt a child, this pregnancy was not part of her plans.

To rectify the problem, she told me that she consistently jumped off her kitchen table to dislodge the baby if possible. It did not.

I was shocked at her actions because she seemed oblivious to the fact that trying to procure a miscarriage was a sin. In previous discussions she said that abortion was sin and she would never go to an abortionist... yet here she was trying to abort her child.

Her actions smacked of hypocrisy and I wondered at the depth of this woman's relationship with Christ and her knowledge of the Bible.

It wasn't until later on in my own walk that I realised that not everybody who goes to church or says they are a Christian in fact are. And even if they are, they are not controlled by the Holy Spirit and are living carnally.

I kept our conversations about every day things from then on, realising that I could be led astray by her rationalisations about sin.

I often wondered if she would actually have been upset if she had miscarried. Abortion and miscarriage tend to make a woman depressed and full of regrets. It wouldn't have mattered if she jumped off the kitchen table or went to an abortionist. The end result would be the same. A dead baby.

Thinking of her often, I am glad that she was unable to dislodge her baby... even if it was an unwanted blessing...


© Glenys Robyn Hicks



Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them. Psalm 139:16

Isn't He lovely?

 



So Tuesday was a sad day for us all. My sister and son had a lovely black cat called Missy. After weeks of expensive vet trips and medications that didn't help, it became obvious that she had succumbed to cancer and  needed to be put to sleep.

Those of you who love a cat or dog know that they become family and the bond when broken hurts so much. There is much grief. 

Even knowing that you have done your best for the animal doesn't really assauge the grief, so I suggested they get another cat as soon as possible. The problem with that is that most cats from a rescue shelter cost a lot of money and they had used their rent money on Missy.

Free cats aren't readily available anymore and my son badly wanted another cat. I suggested we pray about it. We prayed that God would lead us to a new cat who needed the love and spoiling that he and my sister could give... and at the right price...

We didn't have to wait long. A lady in the suburb next to us saw their FB group post for a free cat to be loved and private messaged them.

It turns out that the previous tenants left their cat when they vacated, and she had been feeding it. She couldn't keep it as she already has a cat who doesn't like not being 'top cat'. She had been praying for someone to want it!

So as I speak, this cat should already be in her/his forever home. They are not sure of the gender but my son and sister don't care. They will get it neutered in due course.

As I wait to hear about the cat and maybe see it in a few days, I marvel at the speed that God answered our prayers.... My sister and son, Chris and I and this lovely kind lady who prayed for it as well.

I am once more amazed that we love and serve a magnificent God Who cares about everything in our lives, both large and small. He has created love, for He is Love and He has demonstrated great compassion for all people and creatures...

I can hardly wait to see this cat blossom as it's loved...and to return the love to them. 

Happy endings always make me glad and I am in awe of our wonderful LORD. Loving. Compassionate. Gracious. Good. Isn't He lovely? 



 © Glenys Robyn Hicks



Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. -Matthew 10:29-31