Morning Cuppas With Glenys : aging

Showing posts with label aging. Show all posts

Circles of her life.

I love this painting by Miriam Escofet of her own mother. She seems to be reflecting my own feelings of awareness of how fleeting life is. She is in tune with the present and seems to be lost in memories.

Perhaps she is feeling nostalgic, missing the noisy chatter of children and grandchildren at breakfasts past as she sits alone at table, finger tracing the circle of her cup.

Like her cup, her mind goes round in circles as she remembers years of meals and late night cuppas shared with her husband as they discuss news du jour and their children. Or waited for them to come home.

With years of devotion to her family and endless prayer, she raised her brood and was matriarch and beloved wife- yet now that busy life has come full circle and she sits at tea alone.

No calls to see how she is going, no cards to remember her on Mother's Day- her endless love and bountiful giving now return to her void- a lonely circle.

Her sharp mind continues, her kind heart endures, but her body once strong now too has come full circle as her strength disappears.

She sees no one now and her love and wisdom is rejected by those who themselves were very wanted, and who started their own life in the nurturing circle of her womb.

Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent. Psalm 71:9

True joy in the moment!

Physically, I feel my full 67 years of age. Emotionally, I am mature and steady, and I am grateful for that after years of a stressful life culminating in PTSD.

Spiritually, I am at peace. It finally has clicked that God actually loves me. Until the last 23 years with Chris, I was made to feel unloveable, and I bought the Liar's lies...

Sure, I have regrets and have done some things in my life that I am most ashamed of, but in realising that God really loves me, I have fallen in love with Him. At last I feel forgiven and acceptable. Such peace!

I am happy in my own skin, able to forgive easily, and finding joy in everyday things. I feel like my outside man is breaking down, but my inner being is becoming more alive and well...

I don't worry so much about external things these days, but am concentrating on becoming a quiet and gentle soul. It sometimes takes a lot of work, but it's getting easier as I age.

I do find it hard when I am called an old lady: I don't see myself as old yet. Maybe I am by the world's standards. Those who call me an old lady are only in their early thirties: I probably thought those of my age were old at that age too...

Age is something we have to accept and we can and should be grateful for each and every year that we live: life is a gift.

Every time I comb my hair and see the grey, every wrinkle on my face, even my aching arms and neck, tell me that I am aging- but I am grateful to God for the years that have brought me to this place: the joy of being in the moment!

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 Picture is of Helen Mirren

Any age is precious in God's sight.

So my husband, Chris has been in Emergency at our local hospital a few days ago. Nothing major, just getting his insulin sorted. A registrar who was looking after him popped her head in and asked him a question that floored us.

"In light of your age, we need to know if something happened to you, God forbid, do you want us to perform CPR? Yes? well then I need to inform you of possible side effects of that!.... if your heart stops and we have to do CPR, there's a possibility that you could have fractured ribs or sternum. If your brain has been starved of oxygen for any length of time, you could end up a vegetable..." "At which point, you can then pull the plug!" I interjected.... "Very well, that has been noted!" and then she exited with her paperwork that Chris had signed....

We just looked at each other with open mouths, quite incredulous at what she implied. "In light of your age.." Chris is 69 nearly 70, which is certainly not that old in my book. The implications were that as we are closer to 70 than 60, we are ready to fall off our perch and are not considered of enough value to fight to save.

With recent hospitalisations of my family- aged 67 and over- the reports have been that compassion is lacking. There is a distinct lack of compassionate care which is starkly obvious when compared to past years as a younger patient. Even my (then) 80 year old aunt always said that they let the old ones die. I considered that a gross exaggeration: now I am not so sure.

Our younger generation are being brought up on the idea that the older people in society are a blight on their economy and are easily disposable. Seventy years of age is the cut off point for their tolerance and forbearance. The inference is just go on and die and get it over with!

The government in Australia is phasing in the aged pension only to workers of seventy years of age. In fact, instead of the previous 65 year retirement age, I was made to wait until I was 65.5! Others will have to wait until they are 67 to retire and get a pension: a pension to which they have contributed all their working life. They are aiming to eventually make retirement age 70!

It is interesting that we Australians are considered able to work till 70 but are classified as old and at risk of dying from complications of Corona Virus at over 60! Maybe the young ones would prefer we start dying off at 60? We can't encumber them with more expense or taxing of the health services!

It seems to me that the most vulnerable of society: the unborn and the aged, are getting phased out of their right to live. This just leaves us a window of acceptable longevity from birth to 60 if we are lucky.

There is no delight in a baby's impending birth or compassion for the ill retiree: we are worthless in society and therefore totally disposable.

From the womb to the grave, our worth in the world is based on someone's warped opinion of us. If we don't measure up to standard, we are terminated or encouraged to roll over and die.

Prophecy is unfolding just as foretold: the love of many has grown cold as the love of money has increased. The unborn and aged are precious only in God's sight.

His judgement of us is that we are valuable from conception to death..... Maranatha, Lord Jesus! We are precious in God's sight at any age!

Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the LORD. Leviticus 19:32 and The hoary head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness Proverbs 16:31

What to do when fear's gone viral

So, there's hardly a person alive today who hasn't heard of the Corona Virus. With the internet spewing its' fear over us and then word of mouth, it is by far the most heard of influenza virus of our time! And the fear of this virus has gone viral.

I won't lie to you that I haven't been afraid of contracting the virus. I have. I also have many co-morbidities that preclude me having a quick recovery, or even recovering.

For starters, I am a senior woman. I have a very weak heart that requires yet another stent to join my three already placed there thirteen years ago. A hole in the heart means that my right lung in particular is not oxygenating properly. I am asthmatic and have weakened lungs because of having had pneumonia three times. Plus I have diabetes 2 and am obese. All these co-morbidities do not bode well for me if I were to contract the Corona Virus.

So you can guess that I have been fearful of it. So much so that I locked myself in my study and spent a couple of hours before the LORD in confession and prayer. And I came out of that room a changed woman spiritually.

How have I changed in such a short time? you ask. Because I momentarily lost sight of who I am in relation to God, and more importantly, Who He is.

He is sovereign and I am His Child. He even calls me "friend".

Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.

He has promised never to leave me nor forsake me Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5

My life is in His Hands and it is His good pleasure to either stop me getting this virus or taking me Home. I briefly forgot this important fact.

We are told not to be anxious and it is very hard not to be. So what do we do?

We confess our fear
We repent of fear
We look at the promises of God
We praise God for His promises and
We believe He will keep them
We worship God
We praise Him
We refute fearful thoughts

Now as a woman with post-traumatic stress disorder, panic/anxiety disorder and plain bad nerves, I know how hard it is to stay calm in the current situation. But, I am here to tell you that it can be done. But you must take the time to actually go to God and place your fears at His feet. Then look up!

Make a practice of refuting fearful thoughts and force yourself to think of your blessings. Claim God's promises for you as His Child. He's not going to push you away because you are afraid. And by His Blood, He has provided a way out of sin. It's called grace!

Read the scriptures, listen to uplifting worship music. Watch uplifting podcasts of your favourite sermons. Go outside and listen to the birds or look at the stars. Be assured that you are of more value than a sparrow and that God has you in the palm of His Hand.

Finally, take a break from social media, watching the News and reading the newspapers. The media are to blame a lot for us being so nervous and have caused panic buying.

These are some things I have put into effect in my own home and are some suggestions of what to do when fear's gone viral...

When I was a small child and lived in fear, I learned Psalm 91 off by heart and would recite it to help myself go to sleep... it still calms my pounding heart... have a read for yourself and take it to heart:

"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day, nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for destruction that wasteth at noonday. A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee. Only with thine yes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked. Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation; there shall no evil befall thee. Neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling." Psalm 91:1-10

Where have all the years gone?

My, where have all the years gone?? Today is my darling eldest daughter, Sonia's 46th birthday! I remember the five hour labour, her little red face on my tummy staring at me in awe with a "where am I?" look on her tiny face! I remember them taking her to get washed and weighed and how I ached to hold her longer!

Was it 46 years ago that I unwrapped the tiny dolly for the first time and checked out her little fingers and toes? -and marveled at the beauty of the gift God had given me whilst watching her little banana top curl pulsate over her fontanel? Such beauty and perfection in a neat little 18" long x 5lbs 15oz package!

Was it 43 years ago that I made a cubby house for her with an old blanket tied to the rails of my back porch steps? I can still see her setting up her dollies and teapots and making me a cup of tea! And hear her cries as her brother played Superman and jumped on top of her!

Surely it hasn't been 41 years since I took her to school that first day where she cried and I crouched under the classroom window waiting for her to stop before I could go home in peace-and not rush in and cry with her and rush her home with me!

Forty years have not erased the memory of my sweet little girl sleeping whilst sucking her thumb and I would give anything to turn back the clock and hold her in my arms and cuddle her again.

It hasn't been 30 years since I watched her make her debut and curtsy gracefully in her grandmother's beautiful lace and satin wedding dress! Surely not- it was only yesterday- my heart says it was yesterday- my head says not! For I see her in her own three children now- and I ask myself again, where have all the years gone?

And as I kissed her for her birthday, I found a lump had formed in my throat- I am getting old. And she is starting to ask for the first time that age old question- where have all the years gone?

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice. Proverbs 23:25

It's love in action

I have been reflecting on the amount of grandmothers who have a large role in bringing up their grandchildren, or who even have custody of them.

Some of my childhood memories include playing with my father's work mate's children. This friend was a widower and he was left with two young children to bring up. He was helped by his mother, Mrs B.

Mrs B was a senior woman of about 75 years. She wore her grey hair in a tight bun and sported black lace up shoes that gave her appearance a rather severe look, especially with her long black skirt and white blouse that did up right to her neck. She wore no jewelry and I guess you could say she was a plain person.

At the time she took on her motherless grandchildren and moved in with them, she was enjoying a wonderful life as a companion/assistant to a woman of wealth. She was widely traveled and lived in a large prestigious house. Yet, she gave it all up to raise her son's children with him.

Even as a young child, I was impressed by this woman and thought how great was this lady's heart and love that she gave up a truly salubrious life for them.

It is only as a senior great-grandmother myself, and on reading that God classes this devotion as a mitzvah and is especially dear to His heart, I realise that this self sacrifice is so precious to God and to the grandchildren being cared for.

This to my mind exemplifies the sacrificial life of His Son Jesus, Who was perfect in love and sinless. Such kindness is also a fruit of the Holy Spirit.

To all grandmothers who care for their grandchildren, know that your sacrificial love is indeed pleasing to God. It's more than being kind: it's love in action.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

Always a blessing

Living a satisfying and fruitful Christian life as an older woman is important. In applying godly principles and priorities to our life, we can avoid the pitfalls of succumbing to depression during the years of empty nesting. With the benefit of life experience and years of walking with Christ, we can be a blessing to those closest round us even in later life.

I love to encourage Christian women in their most precious calling. Although I now have passed the season of childbearing and child raising, I still find that my life can influence my adult children and their children. Being a mother and a godly woman never stops! In sharing my heart as an older Sister in Christ in the spirit of Titus 2 and Proverbs 31, I feel that I am still living my life out in a scripturally pleasing way and in keeping with godly priorities.

It is important that the older Christian woman encourages and teaches her younger sisters (and that includes her daughters and granddaughters) It is my prayer that younger women will catch the beauty and freedom we have in Christ by accepting that marriage, children and home are our first and most precious calling and ministry. I pray too that if you are an older sister like myself, that you will rise up and bless younger women too!

By living life according to godly priorities and principles, the aging Christian woman can find satisfaction and joy and be a blessing to those closest to her, even after her children have left the nest, for now is the time for outside ministry. God never wants us to feel unfulfilled and empty-He wants us to pass on the baton of godly womanhood.

God's ways are good: they are always good! And He says you will always be a blessing!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"The aged women likewise, that [they be] in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children," Titus 2:4-5

A new chapter

Chris and I have always wanted to travel around Australia. Now in our late sixties, our children are all grown, our grandchildren also are older and we now have no aged parents to care for. The stage is set. It is our time.

As you may recall, my mother lost her battle with dementia last December and in the fullness of time, her money from her house sale cleared. She graciously left me enough money to buy our rig and truck and now the time has come to leave for sunny shores. Or in our case, coastline.

So, we have almost finished closing up our rented house. We have either sold or given away most of our stuff and we are almost ready.

I am a little anxious but looking forward to this nomadic lifestyle. I have never done this before. Chris tells me that our life won't change too dramatically. I will still be writing. I will miss going to church, but will take steps to have church at home.

I know God is in this with us, and He remains our Saviour and Friend. We will be carrying Him in our hearts and minds to whomever He places in our path.

Whatever changes there are, I am still looking forward to this new chapter in our lives.

Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: forthe Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9

Some things a mother never forgets

One of my favourite things is to go to Opportunity or Thrift Shops. Some of my best clothes have been second-hand: some even have been brand new with labels still on!

During one of these trips, I was trying on a dress in the change room. I overheard a conversation between the aged volunteer ladies who live in the grounds where they have their Op Shop. They made me chuckle and left me feeling strangely happy.....

"Myrtle, do you know where the spare coat hangers are? I thought I put them out the back, but I can't find them! I would leave my head at home if it weren't screwed on!"...

"Beryl, you put them under the counter this morning: here they are!".....tutt- tutt

"Myrtle, did I tell you that Maries' youngest daughter had her baby last night? Yep, a girl as that scan thing said....quite a big baby: 9lbs.....mmmmmm. My Barry was nearly 9lbs: nearly killed me....Cheryl was just over 8lbs: huh, I thought that was bad enough but Barry beat that!...Marie said Stacy is such a tiny girl to have a big baby like that....still you can't tell can ya? Some women have em real easy like that and then the bigger lassies need an Opera-tion! How much did your bubbies weigh, Myrtle?"

"Oh, Jack was 7lbs 6ozs and was a real long fella! 20 inches. I was having me pains for days before I took the tram to the Womens Hospital.... reckon he'd have been a cesssareann if I'd been havin' him now! Beth was so fast, I nearly had her on the tram!! Just goes to show ya how each kiddie is different, Beryl. Beth wasn't as long as Jack but he was a bit heavier....she was 7lbs. George gave me no trouble whatsoever: 8lbs 2.... Can you show me how to operate this till? I can't get the hang of it..."

Putting my purchases on the counter, I guessed Beryl and Myrtle to be nearly 80. Forgetful and playful, they made my day: but forgetful as they are- they proved a point. Even though their 'babies' were in their 60's, motherhood leaves an indelible mark on a woman's soul... and there are some things a mother never forgets!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, [and to be] a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD. Psalm 113:9

Like a beetle on its' back

So I have managed to get up onto the X-ray table with great difficulty. It was so narrow that my sides were almost going over the edges. I was assured that I would only need a few pix of my spine and to be honest, I was glad about that.

Anyone who has had an X-ray when their back was screaming for mercy would know that they aren't the most comfortable of beds, so I settled uncomfortably, glad that it promised not be a long drawn out affair like an MRI.

My previous X-rays on my hands were no problem at all. But this back and neck pain being investigated by X-ray was proving to be a challenge. I lay there praying that the first set of pictures would be sufficient so that I could escape back to the safety of my home.

They had wedged some foam under my side and it was making my back muscles go into spasm and cramp. There was no give in the sterile table on which I lay and my fibromyalgia was making everything feel like torture.

The first sets of films were fine but the technician decided to take a few more pix higher up towards my neck. By the time I was allowed to get off the table, I was as stiff as a board.

I tried to raise myself up, but the pain in my muscles and neck made me flap and flail around helplessly. Like a drowning man, I jerked around trying to sit up whilst the technician retreated behind the screen.

Things were getting desperate as I saw that the table hadn't been lowered and the drop was great enough to make me fearful. So, with a final grunt as I pushed forward and slumped back, I called out in desperation for the technician to come and help me.

Finally upright, my head momentarily swam and I gripped the edge of the bed. Seeing my dizziness, the technician pushed my shoes towards me. I tried to lower myself off the bed again, and my knee with the torn meniscus gave way.

Down I came and fortunately the technician was able to break my fall: and not for the first time, I wondered why they don't help their patients a bit more. Arthritis, shot knees, Sheurrmann's Disease, ankylosing spondylitis, Polymyalgia rheumatica, fibromyalgia with obesity thrown in for good measure makes a good case for help getting on and off the table.

I just think that some people don't realise the limitations of chronic illness and disability. Sometimes I need their help. It's either that, or try and pick me up after I've fallen to the floor, landing like a beetle on its' back.

With the Psalmist, let us dwell on God for our strength as we cry, "I love you LORD my strength!" Psalm 18:1

In the round file

As you know, yesterday I turned 66 and as one often does on a birthday, it reminded me of a former birthday when I was working outside the home...

Still engaged to Chris, I was needing to work to save for our wedding and for a deposit on our home. I had previously worked in office administration, school offices and employment agencies. I ended up in a Human Resources office in customer service for those looking for employment. It was a plum job in our capital city, Melbourne.

The day my eyes were opened to the fact that employment agencies don't care if you find a job or not was in fact my 45th birthday and it was my job description to short list the many resumes that came to our office. Those who were deemed appropriate for a certain position were put in the short list for an interview with one of our human resources personnel and others were placed in the "round file" aka the bin for later shredding.

I had prepared a short list of highly skilled and suitable applicants for jobs and I truly believed they would have been worthy of an interview. To my shock, they were dumped back on my desk and I was given strict instructions to cull them further from now on and put any applicants who were 45 years old or over in the round file. I was so angry!

Protesting, I said that many were people with school aged children just trying to put bread and butter on the table and pay off a mortgage or rent. Further, I stated that they were in the middle of their child raising years and needed a job. I also pointed out that "today" was my own 45th birthday, and here I was, chucking them into the round file!

Their only response was "do as you are told" and later on, as was the custom on a birthday, I brought in a cake to share with them at lunch, their response was to boycott both myself and my cake.

Finally, I was made to take note of the poor applicants who were put in the round file for shredding and tell them that unfortunately they were unsuccessful at this time. In response to their questions and protests, I had a script I read from... "I am sorry, but there were so many applicants for this position and unfortunately you weren't as highly qualified as them... yada yada" they couldn't even be honest to their clients.

I was saddened and angry with these girls who really had tickets on themselves and who, in spite of doing professional courses and having degrees in Human Resources, had no people skills or compassion. It really was the pits to be forced to lie to these applicants just trying to make ends meet and provide for their family. With Chris's permission, I quit working there and went on to work in office administration until we were married.

Why do I tell you this? you ask. Because I don't want you visiting the Pit of Despair and thinking you are of little value to the workforce. It isn't you. It's them. And the only choice you have is to know that not all Employment Agencies are like them and you have to keep trying.

Keep your head up, and your confidence intact. And pray for an agency that values the older worker. It was something I did for every application I had to place in the round file and for everyone I had to contact as unsuccessful. Prayer changes things, so remember that with God, we are never placed in the round file and lied to.

So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom. Psalm 90:12

Aging doesn't bother me!

Today is my 66th birthday and I am not phased at getting older. I do not get depressed about aging, but I do sense a certain urgency to live better and to make sure that I do not waste something that is irreplaceable and of great value - time!

It's sometimes tradition on birthdays to evaluate your life.... What have I achieved in nearly seven decades of living? What do I want to achieve? Where is my life heading? What things are key in my life in regards to importance and eternity? What changes can I make to live better and cherish that which I do hold dear? Quite a lot to think on really.

As I sit and reflect, I know that I have to make some changes in my life as regards growing closer to the LORD, and memorising scripture better. I have to seriously build myself up physically as well whilst trimming a lot of excess avoir du pois off my truly small frame.

I realise that I can only make changes by repenting of a lot of negative thinking and attitudes that have gathered like moss on a stone. And by clinging to the LORD, for I know that without Him as the foundation, I can achieve nothing of eternal value.

One thing to reflect on is one that makes me content. I am basically living a good Christian life. I found that out when I was misdiagnosed with a terminal dementia like disease 11 years ago. You have got to believe me when I say that a person who believes they are dying questions what is important in their life and tries to make amends where it is lacking! I didn't have to change anything! I believe our sanctification is ongoing...I am far from perfect and there are some weeds in my garden that need to be pulled. I have far to go in some things..

Yes, today is a day for reflection as well as thanks for the great gift of life! And I can rejoice, because aging doesn't bother me! Not having enough breath to blow out all my candles? Yes, I think that bothers me more! ~smile

So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom. Psalm 90:12

Blessed beyond measure!

Time goes by so fast: I have just held my first newborn great-grandchild Evie, and she took me back to when I first held her mother Sarah, my first grandchild. She looked so like her that it took my breath away in a sigh of delight, sadness, nostalgia and love.

I was there beside my Sarah's mother when she gave birth to her. Indeed, she owes her life to me being interested in midwifery, for I was her mother's advocate when she started bleeding at ten weeks. In the hospital, the doctors concluded that Sarah was miscarried without even doing an ultrasound. They planned a D & C for the next morning.

Asking if there was much dilatation, they said no so I asked if they had done an ultrasound. They replied there was no need as they were sure there was no baby there. I asked them to do one before the scheduled surgery just to be sure. And sure enough, there was a healthy ten week old fetus!

To this day, we believe my first grandchild was a twin which was miscarried, as I am a twin, I had still-born twins and twins were in both sides of the family. But sad as potentially losing a twin was, we rejoice that we have Sarah and that I demanded they check with an ultrasound. They were so cavalier about it and would have technically aborted her.

A few months later I had the joy of acting as doula to her mother and my granddaughter's little features were etched permanently in my mind. Sarah was after all, a female carbon copy of my own first child, her father.

Seeing little Evie's face for the first time was a total spin out! A mixture of delight, sadness, nostalgia and love, as I said. Delight too that I was at last a great-grandmother after two years of infertility for Sarah, sadness that the time has gone so quickly, and love for this baby who shared a comic resemblance to those other sweet babies of my past.

As I lifted Evie up onto my shoulder, I whispered a prayer of thanks to God and of welcome to our family, in her ear, just as I had done for my own babies and theirs. God is so wonderful! I am blessed beyond measure!

Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers. Proverbs 17:6

He's no hero!

As you probably know, I have been seeing a rheumatologist to see if I have SLE lupus as well as fibromyalgia. It has been a long voyage. I am due to see her again July 16 for the results of all the blood works.

Today I saw my GP who I was told had the results. It was a disappointing visit and a waste of time. The only thing he would tell me was that I have severe arthritis in my hands, which was a given seeing as they are bent and deformed.

He would not commit to deciphering any of the tests, claiming that he was just a general practitioner and not a rheumatologist. So I am none the wiser. After reminding him of my various symptoms, he told me that even if I prove to have lupus that it won't change the fact that there is nothing he can do for me. It was very depressing.

Further, my husband Chris has had tests for shoulder pain that radiates into his ribs and back. He asked if an ultrasound might help throw some light onto what's causing his discomfort, but he laughed and said he didn't think so! So Chris also felt neglected.

I am on five tablets per day to lower my blood pressure, which he knows, but I had to ask him to take my blood pressure and he sighed as he did it. When asked about coping with the pain of my arthritis, he recommended a "conservative approach": no prednisolone or opioids, just paracetamol! Seriously?

This man came highly recommended as Chris and I have serious health issues that require good care and monitoring. Today has proven to us that he is not the super hero he is touted to be.

Fortunately Chris and I are each other's hero and advocate and it is just as well. Looks like we will be looking after each other's interests long into our dotage.

And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12

Why yes, I do wear dresses only

Every woman eventually finds her style. Whether it be modest, immodest, fashionable, or vintage, she will find that which best portrays her belief system in her world-view and body image.

With being at the end of my 65 years, I have found a style of dress that suits me. And by saying "me" I also mean my husband, Chris. I try to dress in a way that he likes as I want him to like what he sees.

Although I would have loved to wear skirts and dresses a long time ago, it is only recently when I needed to replace all my slacks, pants and jeans that he agreed to me buying skirts and dresses only. It's no good me dressing how I want if he's not happy with it.

Speaking of which, Chris would never comment negatively about my appearance, but I figure in spite of my large size, I owe it to him to try to dress attractively. As his wife, I want to be a crown to him and not let him down through looking like I had just been caught in a hurricane. I want to bring him honour and having a wife who looks like a crumb to my mind isn't very honouring.

Anyway, I found modest but pretty ankle length skirts and summer dresses with string straps, which I partnered with cotton lacy bolero tops that covered my beefy arms and made me feel more modest without sweltering in our Australian summer. For my Australian friends, I can recommend Millers who cater for plus sizes up to 24 and who accept Afterpay.

With my ankle length skirts, in winter, I can wear leggings underneath them and top them with a cardigan or jumper (sweater). I team that with a matching scarf around my neck. You can see my picture here if you wish.

I also found a modest pair of bathers with a long skirt around them. This is a wonderful help to me because I am very self-conscious of my large size and prefer to keep as much unruly flesh covered as is humanly possible when I go to the hydro therapy pool for physio.

My lupus has flared and I am losing my hair again. It has grown to about 12 inches from below my shoulders but is very thin. So I have been sweeping it back off my face and putting it up in a pony tail. Sometimes I roll it into a bun or French roll to keep it off my neck. My fibromyalgia makes me itch so much if the hair touches my face, neck or shoulders, so I try to keep it up and off my face.

I am almost completely silver in the front of my head now with a silver streak down the whole side on one side only. As I am allergic to hair dyes I am not dyeing it. Fortunately, Chris quite likes silver and often tells me so as he puts my hair into a bun. Chris helps me for with polymyalgia rheumatica, I cannot extend my arms for too long!

Regarding covering my hair, Chris was not happy with head coverings, hair bands or scarves but encouraged me to grow my hair, which I have done. As I said, I keep it up. I am saving to buy some Lilla Rose Flexi clips... I love those but they are a bit pricey!

Wearing only dresses and skirts is not legalistic with me. Pants or skirts are not a salvation issue. I believe as long as a woman dresses modestly and femininely, it is pleasing to the LORD. But I feel more feminine in skirts and dresses and I love that the straight lines and length help hide my extra curvy hips and legs. Jeans and slacks accentuated my stomach and made me look like I was expecting- (Sarah the Second!)

I wear a little makeup on a good day and always have earrings and my wedding rings on. I cannot wear jewellery round my neck or wrists because of the fibromyalgia making me itch badly. I wear flat sandals, even in winter as my heart is failing and my legs and feet swell badly. Overall, my style is not too fussy, but well kept and clean looking. I am happy with it and so is Chris.

All in all, my style looks like the picture at the top, without the hat. What's your style?

She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Proverbs 31:22

Simply Love

‘Simply Love’

I saw them walking today, her smaller hand held in his,

His arthritic thumb bent at an angle, yet still firmly and protectively holding onto hers.

She lagged behind a bit, her aged legs unable to hurry-

She seemed content to let him lead as he had undoubtedly done all their lives.
She never even glanced at the road as they crossed,

So used to having him lead well: faith in his competence made her trust him.

What trials had they overcome, what life experiences had they shared,

Stumbling and standing together through life’s journey,

Facing all things together whilst living as one?

In such a simple act, I saw the simplicity of love –

So precious though elusive and seldom found:- they held it in their hearts and hands.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7