Showing posts with label Panic attacks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Panic attacks. Show all posts

Let Jesus soothe your soul


There are a lot of faithful Christians who suffer from panic attacks and anxiety.  Although they are usually strong in the faith, when a panic attack hits, and they have a meltdown, their trial turns into a field day for false accusers and Job's Comforters. 

They are often told that they are lacking in faith and to cling to the LORD, when it is chemicals in their body that is causing the problem, not lack of faith.  They do nothing to help but add fuel to the fire. Telling a sufferer of a panic attack to have more faith is like telling a drowning man to swim faster. They simply can't and they struggle just to keep their head above water. To add to their woe, they then fear that they have become apostate or are backsliding.  But nothing could be further from the truth.

The truly backslidden or apostate Christian will not turn to God for help therefore she has no worries of feeling unloved by God but the faithful Child of God will be afraid when she cannot break through the clutch of adrenaline that induces a feeling of impending doom (in this case, damnation) Such feelings are false, and during her life when not suffering an adrenaline rush, she knows this and relies on her Saviour. 

The Bible teaches us not to be anxious, but any anxious person will tell you that it is a fact that anxiety will come for no apparent reason. My point is that Satan will use this hormone induced attack on our bodies to make us feel guilty, alienate us from feeling close to God, and cause us to be more anxious. We know it is written we shouldn't be anxious- but here we are with anxiety and guilt as our companion. 

We know we should trust God but often it's not so clear cut and defined. It does us no good to be told we are sinning when it is clearly a chemistry problem which manifests itself as anxiety. In our stronger moments, we are aware of the scriptures. One who suffers from anxiety does not need to be told they are willfully sinning. We need people's understanding and compassion. It goes without saying, that we always have that from Jesus. 

We tend to forget that most often sufferers of anxiety and panic have often been in the midst of the most horrendous of stresses and trials, often for years, and despite being faithful and clinging to God, they have a meltdown. Trials include all chronic illness such as fibromyalgia and disabilities. 

It would behove us all to remember to be Christ-like to these suffering Children of God and comfort them, pray for them and encourage them. Those of us who suffer like this are prime candidates for panic attacks and meltdowns.  We should do unto others as we would have them do unto us:  pray for them,  help them back on their feet and never judge them. Anxiety and panic are no respecter of people: but by the Grace of God, go I. 

Mercy.  Grace.  Compassion.  Love.  Prayer.  All are healing balms for the poor one having a meltdown. We need to tell them there is hope and there is healing and that nothing can separate us from God's love.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

For I am persuaded,  that neither death,  nor life,  nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things  to  come,  nor height,  nor depth,  nor any other creature,  shall be  able to separate us from the love of God which in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8:38-39

Keeping peace in your home revisited


Dear Friends,
Our membership is world wide and every religion! We are the keepers of our homes. It is up to us to set the tone for our families. This may be hard, but we can do it! We can do anything for 15 minutes.

Watch your words to yourself and to your babies. We cannot stereotype a people or a religion because of a few bad men. Fear is their goal! When we let go of this fear we have succeeded at allowing peace to enter our homes.

All any of us can do is take care of our little corner of the world; our homes! You can do this by turning off the TV and Facebook. I fell victim to television many years ago. It literally made me sick from watching the negativity of the news all the time.  I am not saying to put on blinders or not to be concerned for your family members who are in the middle of the news, but what I want you to do is keep the home fires burning. Limit the influx of the media. Their goal is to make it sound as bad a possible and I don’t want their one-sided exaggerations to hurt you or your family!

Focus your fears and sadness by doing something to bless your family! Go shine your sink! Fold laundry! Clean out that craft room! Work on your control journal! Pay your bills! Do not spend all your time in front of boob tube having your brains sucked out by fear! Or checking Facebook every 5 minutes. Unfriend people who spew nastiness and hate. Only friend or like pages that lift you up. 

Your children and your pets are very intuitive. You can’t hide your feelings from them. So you have to insulate yourself from those by limiting your exposure. What you think about your bring about! It is up to us to think good thoughts instead of expending energy on worry; use that power to bless your tiny little corner of the world.  Now is the time for us to do what we can, with what we have, where we are! So what can we do?

Feed our families. Get food in the house. Plan your meals so you feel secure. Pull out your family’s favorite recipes and fix their comfort food. Do it together! Set the good dishes and light candles!  Entertain yourselves with your favorite movies. Make a list of your family’s all time favorites. Look for them at yard sales and clearance racks. Gather up some of your favorite books to read aloud.

Play classical music, gospel music, or your favorite music! Let your spirits be lifted in song your special way! Sing together! Play music on the piano, keyboards, or other instruments. Have a sing along! Sing your favorite holiday songs! Go Caroling! Learn how to sing in harmony! What fun! Drag out the karaoke machines!  (if you haven’t flung them LOL)

Pull out the family board games or a jigsaw puzzle. Sit around your dinner table and play games and talk.  You are not going to be able to isolate your children from all of this, but you can edit what they hear and have it come from you! Worry never made any situation better! If you catch yourself doing this, it is time to take care of you!

Remember what the flight attendant always says when you board a plane: You have to put your oxygen mask on first, before you start to help your child. This means keep up with your simple morning and evening routines, continue to declutter for 15 minutes a day and do the missions for your zone.

Your routines will give you structure and comfort! Do Them!! This means getting dressed to lace-up shoes, fixing your hair and face too! When you start to feel yourself get stressed, then change gears and take care of you! This means give yourself a hug! If you don’t know what to do, then go to our homepage and read the Pamper Section, get in the tub, take a walk, or just sit and listen to the birds sing, light candles, turn on all the lights in the house, open up the curtains and let the sun shine in!

Winter is tough on all of us. We can dream about spring, plan our gardens, and plant seedlings. Dream big! Let’s be ready for any emergency. They keep saying we are going to have a long hard winter.

We can do this. We don’t have to let the bad news disrupt OUR peace in OUR homes.  Are you ready to FLY with peace as your guide? by Marla Cilley aka FlyLady

So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom.  Psalm 90:12

Your sleep can be sweet.


I often wake with a panic attack induced by a dream.  This is pretty common for the fibromyalgia sufferer.

The first thing I do is purposefully relax my body and allow the adrenaline to subside. I usually feel it coursing through my body like a cold chill. By relaxing instead of tensing, it usually leaves through the soles of my feet. That takes care of the physical nasty effects of the panic.

I have trained myself to immediately respond with praise. Worship and praise are key to controlling it on the emotional level. I make myself lay in bed and I pray for others' needs. I also force myself to dwell on positive things like counting my blessings.

If I refrain from getting up, but stay in bed instead, I can usually fall asleep again. Panic attacks are sneaky things that can catch you unawares, such as when you are sleeping. But they don't have to linger. 

Focus on relaxing and getting your breathing controlled and then focus on praiseworthy  and good things.  God gives His beloved rest. He's got your back, even in your sleep. Your sleep can be sweet.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks

When you lie down, you will not be afraid; Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. Proverb 3:24

Anxiety isn't sin: it's an emotion


Panic attacks and anxiety make us fearful of everything. Even of God.  

Wherein we are the strongest of Christians, hormones can trip us up, and there is nothing we can do. So know I am not speaking of constant lack of trust in God but a freak of chemistry that temporarily over rules that trust.

We can be the most trusting of Christians, but sometimes our bodies create too much cortisol and not enough seretonin, and we can find ourselves, against our own belief and trust in Christ, becoming overwrought and anxious. 

We can find ourselves teetering on the edge of panic and the Pit Of Despair is beckoning. We feel guilty for being anxious, but we can't seem to stop it.

We know we are told to not be anxious and not to fear, but here it is: anxiety has raised its' ugly head again. Is there no hope for us? Oh yes, our hope as always is in the compassion of Christ! 

In times like this, we can find ourselves doubting that God loves us and we are totally miserable. But it is at this time that we need to hang on to Jesus's hem and stay still. In spite of our feelings, He is still there with us.

Our accuser, Satan is anything but stupid and if he can get us to feel guilty about being anxious, then he has succeeded in causing us further pain. 

Jesus never makes us feel guilty: the Holy Spirit will convict us of sin and with true repentance, comes freedom. 

Satan is the accuser who leaves no room for repentance or mercy or grace or forgiveness. 

Guilt is a nail through the heart, conviction is a softening of the heart. 

By taking hold of God's promises by reading scriptures of hope you can climb out of the Pit. 

Please don't feel guilty for being down or anxious with panic attacks. It is what it is. But it's not a sin. It's a chemical imbalance. And it's an emotion. 


© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee. " Isaiah 41:13

Don't relinquish your role


As you probably know, in my first 25 year marriage, I was an abused wife. But along with physical abuse, I was daily subjected to disrespect and psychological stress.

By the time I was married for about 15 years, I was broken physically and emotionally. I was in hospital frequently for a spinal disease called Sheurmann's Disease, and for surgery to remove kidney stones. Each time I came home, the disrespect was worse.

After a few years of this, I noticed that my daughter, who was a teenager at the time, was changing her attitude towards me. She became cheeky and sassy and answered me back constantly. Whenever I appealed for some backup from her father, he would defend her. I felt isolated and lonely in my own home.

As she grew older, I noticed that they both talked more than he and I did, and there was a definite bond and camaraderie. I felt like the third wheel.

In the morning I would make my beds and maintain my home, and when my daughter came home from school, she would pull them all back and redo them, stating that they weren't made properly.

Often my ex-husband would come home to unmade beds and he would start screaming at me, swearing and calling me horrid names. He didn't believe me when I told him I had made them and that she had pulled them back for me to make again. Honestly, with my ill health, once a day was enough for me to find the strength to make them.

In the end, I didn't make them, letting her do them when she got home from school. It was just wasting my precious spoons (energy) for nothing- they would be remade and I would get a tongue lashing regardless.

I think this was where the rug was pulled from under my feet. I gradually was treated like a naughty child by both my ex-husband and my eldest daughter. In fact when we were moving house and it was time to choose the colours and tiles etc, they conferred and I was just informed what it would be.

To say that I was not mistress of my own home is an understatement. I was an annoying lazy freeloader according to them. I couldn't work outside the home and they begrudged me anything at all.

When finally I could no longer keep any food down due to fear and depression, and sick of punched arms and bruises, I decided to leave. And in my confusion, I grabbed some clothes pegs with my clothes and this was duly reported to her father who demanded them to be returned.

I don't believe even today that there was any sexual connection with my daughter and her father, but there was a bond that cemented them together, but which excluded me. And I was powerless to change it and my cries for marriage counselling fell on deaf ears. It became too much.

Truly, three in a marriage is never what God intended. Nor did He intend for a man to cleave to his daughter and deny his wife due regard and respect. It is not a normal marriage.

So why do I tell you this? you ask. Because you must find the strength to fight being made an outsider in your role as a wife, mother and home maker. You simply must demand respect from your husband, even if it exhausts you. You must insist on respect from your children.

I wish I had been aware of this earlier and been firmer, but I can only say that I was beaten down so badly by him and chronic illness, that I could hardly stand. Start defending your right to be a wife and a respected mother.  Your role is ordained by God. Don't relinquish it.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

“I will give children to be their princes, and babes shall rule over them.." Isaiah 3:4

When your world is turned upside down



When one is first diagnosed with an illness, it is quite common to be in disbelief or even denial. After all, some illnesses come as a shock and have the potential to change our life forever. This requires us to rethink how we will cope with the illness, its treatment and life in general.

Sometimes we struggle to get a grip of the ramifications that illness makes in our life, but sooner or later, we are going to have to get our head around the fact that things will change. To function, they have to.

If diagnosis of an illness has caused a depression which lingers for more than a few weeks or causes panic attacks, I suggest that a doctor is seen for antidepressants. These may be needed only short term until the illness is accepted. And it must be accepted sooner or later.

Only in coming to terms with being chronically ill, can we make plans to handle the changes that being ill will bring. We will need to plan our days as wives, mothers and homemakers. (See Lists)
We must cling to Jesus and allow Him to minimise the shock and help us regain our focus. We must also plan our treatments and care.

Scary as it is, chronic illness must be addressed as soon as we are able... our future and our family's future depend on us accepting our illness so that we can move on. Easier said than done when your world has been turned upside down.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks


"So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom" Psalm 90:12

Focusing on the moment

We live in a world which is fraught with anxiety which not only robs us of our peace, but promotes panic attacks. This debilitates us and robs us further of time used profitably. It can be a personal hell on earth.

Years ago, when I had panic attacks, a friend who was a pastor's wife and I were discussing things along that line over a cup of tea. She said in all honesty, she had no answers to if we are alone in the Universe and so on. But what she said next made me think.

She said that she won't allow herself to dwell on useless questions because she doesn't want to be distracted from what Christ has for her to do. She suggested that I stay close to the LORD and bring my thoughts into the captivity of Christ. 

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 2 Corinthians 10:5

I followed her advice and was able to overcome my panic attacks. I stopped having the TV on all day with sad world events 24/7. When Chris watched a documentary or video on conspiracy theories, he listened to them with his headphones on. I threw myself into my home making and cuddled up with Chris more often. I made myself dwell on my life verse in Philippians 4:8 and only concentrated on what I knew was good:

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8


There is still beauty in the world and there is peace in trusting God and His Word. Like me, if you are fearful, take steps to avoid watching or listening to things that open up questions and rob you of your peace. 


Play Christian music, read the Word and pray. Make your home more pleasant and hug your husband and children. Know that Christ is in control and is on your side. We have His protection: He has our back no matter what those answers are: He is Who He is: the I Am

So if you worry about world events and conspiracy theories, lay it all at Jesus's feet. Dwell on how you can best serve the LORD. Don't let troubling thoughts rob you of your joy. Peace will come back to you like it did for me. Life will be better by focusing on the moment.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Do not waste time arguing over godless ideas and old wives’ tales. Instead, train yourself to be godly. 1 Timothy 4:7

Reaching for the stars

I often see young women today who have bought the feminists' lies that they can have it all... the job, the marriage, the well kept home, the nice cars and furniture not to mention nice clothes... and still juggle motherhood successfully, often taking just enough time off work to give birth and then sometimes only weeks after, to return leaving a new baby and usually others in childcare. Just writing it all down makes my head spin!Perhaps it all seems possible with a sympathetic spouse who helps with household chores, and a strong network of family or childcare workers for the children. But one wonders, for how long?

I fell victim to working outside the home when my children were young. Having obeyed my then husband and gone to work leaving young ones either with him or my mother, I can testify to the inability to totally give ones' constant attention to detail at work when one has a sick child at home or when just plain missing them.I can testify to the almost boiling point of emotions at small problems at home that would once be taken in their stride... fatigue makes pressure cookers of us all.

Not only that, but I can attest to emotions that one would rather not admit to: having to not only cook a meal but clean the kitchen, sneak in another load of washing after the kids have been bathed and made ready for bed whilst Husband falls asleep on the couch... obviously worn-out from his own day of labour outside the home. And there is *still* so much she has to do!

The powder keg ignites when Husband, feeling refreshed from his 40 winks, decides at 11:30 when her head finally hits the pillow, that the Games must begin! And as a tired body tries to overcome fatigue and desires only sleep, a not so romantic emotion creeps in: resentment! And then we have marriage problems which could have been avoided. Over the last few years, I have observed this at close quarters.

Several mothers of young children in our family have thought they could have it all. Some have found out that they can't. And some are still striving, unable to relinquish the dream that feminists have implanted in their minds: that they *can* have it all.... without any side-effects! And there *are* side-effects!

One mother went back to work six weeks after giving birth. She chose to work night-shift so that Husband could mind Baby at night and she could do so during the day. Not only did she end up with a king-size case of post-natal depression, but she also developed panic-attacks which were so debilitating that she (unwisely) turned to alcohol to stop them. Fortunately, her husband realised that the stress of achieving the Have-it-all Dream was killing his wife, and he told her to quit working. Fortunately, she was able to get medication for the anxiety and was able to curtail her intake of alcohol. But it nearly cost her her health, her marriage, her children and her home!

Another mother who is still striving suffers from migraines, tiredness that prevents her from falling asleep at night, but which sees her lie in an exhausted sleep in the morning- only to have to rise and start the day when all her body needs is rest! She is particularly grumpy and strident, but mention overwork or quitting and the heckles rise... you are standing on very shaky ground when you try to debunk the Feminist Claptrap Dream!

Still another mother in our family is striving not only in work, but in her personal life and her childrens' lives. She totally believes she not only *can* have it all... but believes that it is her *right*. But she is paying a high price too. Perfect wife, mother, housekeeper, worker, social butterfly and off campus student, she looks the embodiment of the fakeness of The Lie. However, unable to swallow because of a feeling of a lump in the throat, she was diagnosed with a case of globulus hystericus... nerves. My gentle suggestion to delegate jobs in the family, and forgo a few extra classes for the children was like a red rag to a bull.... warning... warning... danger! The Dream must be kept alive, even if the mothers aren't.

It is such a sad state of affairs... and there seems no end to it all... For every woman who falls by the wayside in the attainment of All, there are a hundred following in hot pursuit, stepping over her as they stampede forward to the Goal, which is never *enough* when you think about it.Sadly, I realise that they *can* have it All.... but along with it comes divorce, depression, anxiety, split families and all that negativity does to your health....

The feminists have given our young mothers dust for dreams! God planned for us to have an abundant and relatively peaceful life as wives and mothers, but typically, the Evil One has used his messengers to pervert that which was originally perfect.We aren't supposed to have it all.... just those things that are priceless: our health, our marriage, our children, our home and our peace! We can rest content without reaching for the stars! 


© Glenys Robyn Hicks

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Luke 12:34

Way beyond blue



The first time I came across post-natal depression was when my daughter had just given birth to her first child. She was elated with her baby but about a week later she had crying fits that came for no apparent reason. At first we put them down to baby blues. But then came irrational thoughts and feelings. She believed her husband didn’t love her anymore. Feeling ugly, she was sure her husband was having an affair. She believed her mother-in-law didn’t like her and was trying to overtake her baby. None of which was true.

One night when the baby was about 5 weeks old, we were called to her home by her frantic husband- she had packed all hers and the baby’s clothes in the car and was demanding the car keys. We raced to her home and were met by a daughter we had never seen before. Red-faced, unkempt and crying loudly. Fortunately her husband had the foresight to hide the car keys as she was in no fit state to drive anywhere. She tried to take the baby out of her crib to take her away, but we stood in front of her so she could not get her.

I tried to reason with her but she just kept screaming that she had had enough- her husband didn’t love her or the baby- she was fat and he was certainly seeing someone else. It was heart-breaking to see him in tears too pleading with her to calm down and declaring his love for her.

Eventually she ran out of voice and strength and collapsed in my arms quite spent. I stroked her hair and her husband came and took her in his arms and comforted her. He was able at last to reason with her and she agreed to see a doctor the next day. We took the car keys with us at his request. Satisfied that the immediate danger was over, we returned home. The next day, my daughter and her husband went to see a doctor who diagnosed post-natal depression. For about 2 months my daughter took anti-depressants and became the loving calm girl we had always known. It was frightening to see what hormones can sometimes do to a woman.

We were a little apprehensive when she gave birth to her second child. In fact the post-natal depression manifested itself in panic-attacks the first few hours after she gave birth. I notified the midwives at the hospital about my daughter’s agitation and previous depressions and they sent a doctor up to see her. She was put onto medication immediately and was much more relaxed and happy with motherhood. The medications were only needed for about 2 months. I was so glad that I had noticed the signs sooner this time.

I would say to all new mothers or grandmothers that if a depression goes beyond the blue that most of us experience in the first few days after childbirth, a doctor should be consulted. Hormones play a major part in promoting and maintaining pregnancy and lactation, but can sometimes also cause major depression. This can lead to disastrous results if left unattended. If my daughter ever has another child, I will be alert to any mood swings signaling post-natal depression. It should never be underestimated and should be treated promptly when discovered.

I thank God for medication and a sensible son-in-law. Sometimes we mothers need a little help in getting well when our hormones make our depression soar way beyond blue...

Footnote to this post: my daughter has since had another child, suffering no panic attacks or post-natal depression. This just goes to show how fickle hormones can be and the need to be observant with each pregnancy and confinement. We praise the LORD for answered prayer!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks 

And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick. Matthew 14:14

In a panic attack, God is right there with us


We are all wonderfully and fearfully made. But sometimes in our genetic makeup, we inherit or are "assigned" genes that are predisposed to anxiety.  Or we do not produce sufficient neurotransmitters such as Seretonin or endorphins, which result in our nature being one of anxiety and fear.

Like many mental illnesses, people often only see the outward manifestation of our illness, which produces a response in us sufferers of panic/anxiety disorder that not only produces fear in us, but often derision and judgement from others.

The person who suffers from panic disorder and anxiety often suffers more acutely because people do not realise that our body simply is not programmed properly. Often we contend with alienation from others born of their misunderstanding of our condition. We suffer deeply.

We who suffer intense depression at times are not weak as some suppose. Indeed, because we carry our condition within ourselves, and exhaust our limited supply of Seretonin and other "happy" neurotransmitters, we battle our condition on a daily basis.

We do not wish to stay this way and fight it, praying constantly. And many of us feel abandoned by God when we need Him the most! Which is far more frightening than suffering rejection and judgement from others..

As a Christian who battles with this disorder, I know that often it is the sufferer of Panic/anxiety disorder who is really quite strong in character. We are born in a battle and this battle often continues all our lives. Even with God in our lives.  It is endogenous: meaning it comes from within and as such, we carry it everywhere.

I believe that we should seek out medications to help us. God made them for a reason. Just as I take my Diabex medication for diabetes, so I take my anti-depressants. With a glad heart. For we are to look after the body: it is a temple for the Holy Spirit.

I must bring every thought into the captivity of Christ. I try not to dwell on sad events that I can do nothing about except pray. I also try to remember to think only of those things that are pure and good.  And, most importantly, I practise forgiveness of those who are ignorant of my disorder. Ignorance is usually hurtful, but not intentional hurt.  People generally are ignorant of mental illness...I try to remember that.

By far the greatest self help is to memorise scripture and use it and apply it to your life, so that when the anxiety comes, you can put on the armour of God, and quench it with the Word.  YOU SIMPLY MUST REMEMBER THAT GOD IS STILL THERE AND LOVES YOU IN SPITE OF YOUR FEELINGS.

Emotions are not what our salvation is based on!

It has taken me a life time of conquering this disorder. It hasn't been easy, but it is possible to gain the victory. Panic and anxiety is NOT YOUR LIFE it does NOT DEFINE WHO YOU ARE!

Nothing, not even a panic attack can take your salvation away from you, no matter how much "IT" bares its' teeth at you!  This is a fact that you should cling to in those times!  We will overcome!..

I do not have constant depression or frequent panic attacks any more. For this, I praise the LORD and give thanks. I write of my experience with depression to bring it out in the open.

People are often ashamed of being depressed. Especially Christians who feel that they have let the LORD down. But that is not so. We are still good living people who happen to have a problem with brain chemicals imbalance. We are not second rate people like the Enemy whispers in our ear. And we are courageous.

We sufferers of this disorder are actually stronger than we think... and feel it or not, God is right there with us...

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

 This is my life verse: Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if  there be any virtue, and if  there be  any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8

We're not supposed to have it all!

I often see young women today who have bought the feminists' lies that they can have it all... the job, the marriage, the well kept home, the nice cars and furniture not to mention nice clothes... and still juggle motherhood successfully, often taking just enough time off work to give birth and then sometimes only weeks after, to return leaving a new baby and usually others in childcare. Just writing it all down makes my head spin!

Perhaps it all seems possible with a sympathetic spouse who helps with household chores, and a strong network of family or childcare workers for the children. But one wonders, for how long?

I fell victim to working outside the home when my children were young. Having obeyed my then husband and gone to work leaving young ones either with him or my mother, I can testify to the inability to totally give ones' constant attention to detail at work when one has a sick child at home or when just plain missing them.

I can testify to the almost boiling point of emotions at small problems at home that would once be taken in their stride... fatigue makes pressure cookers of us all. Not only that, but I can attest to emotions that one would rather not admit to: having to not only cook a meal but clean the kitchen, sneak in another load of washing after the kids have been bathed and made ready for bed whilst Husband falls asleep on the couch... obviously worn-out from his own day of labour outside the home. And there is *still* so much she has to do!

The powder keg ignites when Husband, feeling refreshed from his 40 winks, decides at 11:30 when her head finally hits the pillow, that the Games must begin! And as a tired body tries to overcome fatigue and desires only sleep, a not so romantic emotion creeps in: resentment! And then we have marriage problems which could have been avoided.

Over the last few years, I have observed this at close quarters. Several mothers of young children in our family have thought they could have it all. Some have found out that they can't. And some are still striving, unable to relinquish the dream that feminists have implanted in their minds: that they *can* have it all.... without any side-effects! And there *are* side-effects!

One mother went back to work six weeks after giving birth. She chose to work night-shift so that Husband could mind Baby at night and she could do so during the day. Not only did she end up with a king-size case of post-natal depression, but she also developed panic-attacks which were so debilitating that she (unwisely) turned to alcohol to stop them. Fortunately, her husband realised that the stress of achieving the Have-it-all Dream was killing his wife, and he told her to quit working. Fortunately, she was able to get medication for the anxiety and was able to curtail her intake of alcohol. But it nearly cost her her health, her marriage, her children and her home!

Another mother who is still striving suffers from migraines, tiredness that prevents her from falling asleep at night, but which sees her lie in an exhausted sleep in the morning- only to have to rise and start the day when all her body needs is rest! She is particularly grumpy and strident, but mention overwork or quitting and the heckles rise... you are standing on very shaky ground when you try to debunk the Feminist Claptrap Dream!

Still another mother in our family is striving not only in work, but in her personal life and her childrens' lives. She totally believes she not only *can* have it all... but believes that it is her *right*. But she is paying a high price too. Perfect wife, mother, housekeeper, worker, social butterfly and off campus student, she looks the embodiment of the fakeness of The Lie. However, unable to swallow because of a feeling of a lump in the throat, she was diagnosed with a case of globulus hystericus... nerves. My gentle suggestion to delegate jobs in the family, and forgo a few extra classes for the children was like a red rag to a bull.... warning... warning... danger! The Dream must be kept alive, even if the mothers aren't.

It is such a sad state of affairs... and there seems no end to it all... For every woman who falls by the wayside in the attainment of All, there are a hundred following in hot pursuit, stepping over her as they stampede forward to the Goal, which is never *enough* when you think about it.

Sadly, I realise that they *can* have it All.... but along with it comes divorce, depression, anxiety, split families and all that negativity does to your health.... The feminists have given our young mothers dust for dreams! God planned for us to have an abundant and relatively peaceful life as wives and mothers, but typically, the Evil One has used his messengers to pervert that which was originally perfect.

We aren't supposed to have it all.... just those things that are priceless: our health, our marriage, our children, our home and our peace!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks


For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Luke 12:34