WARNING- POSSIBLE TRIGGER FOR THOSE WHO HAVE LOST A BABY:
Many years ago, my mother went to the hospital bleeding heavily during her 13th week of pregnancy. It was unclear on her admission if she had in fact lost the baby she had planned. She was laying in the cubicle awaiting results of the examination of her lost tissue to see if she had miscarried or not. It was in the days before ultrasound.
Eventually a nurse came in, winked conspiratorially at Mum and announced that it looked like she had miscarried. Her demeanour was like she was the bearer of good news and that Mum should be grateful that she was no longer pregnant. Mum just turned her face to the wall and cried.
As a young woman, I too had a loss of a much wanted pregnancy. At the time I conceived, I had to have an emergency surgery. I was so ill for so long after the anaesthetic that it dawned on me that it could be morning sickness. It was.
I prayed that I would not lose the baby but it was not to be. A few weeks after my morning sickness disappeared- and I was always morning sick the entire 9 months with my other babies- I started bleeding.
Eventually I lost my baby and Mum had advised me to keep any tissue I lost to show the doctor. I fetched out my lost tissue and found a little embryo, all curled up and just forming its eyes. I was devastated.
I showed the little one to my then husband, who sniffed and said what a silly looking little thing it was! Something inside me died and I went outside and wept for the baby who would join its stillborn twin sisters, Sarah and Ruth in God's nursery. I named it Leslie because that name would do for either gender.
Wiping my eyes, I thought about how precious these lives were and how sad most women feel when they never see the light. By far there are more women who grieve over the loss of a baby than who feel relieved or rejoice. I decided that I would call lost babies Teardrop Babies. For many would shed a tear over their loss.
No Teardrop Baby is lost to God and is known to Him and that brings me some comfort. All mothers of those babes will see them again if they know the Giver of Life. I believe that goes for aborted children as well. Many a woman who aborted a baby will suffer great anguish over that choice and if she repents, God will forgive her and show her His great mercy and grace.
No matter what people tell us about our lost Teardrop Baby being just a bunch of cells or tissue, we know that they were our potential son or daughter and we will grieve for them with many tears. Another reason I call lost babes Teardrop Babies.
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them. Psalm 139:16
I had a blighted ovum in 2013. I knew I would miscarry and tried to talk to my brother's wife about how sad I was. Later that night I got a text from my brother telling me to leave his wife alone because she was on vacation and I was stressing her out. I talked to my husband's sister on text and said said "Awww...sorry." And never checked on me so on my husband's birthday so I didn't upset him, I passed the ovum on my own. I found the little egg, looked at it a while and figured I shouldn't be upset because it wasn't really a baby anyhow - that seemed to be the message of my brother and his wife. They never checked on me or called me, told my mom that I had been harassing my sister in law the night she was getting a big award (so strange since I was in the bathroom fishing the insides of my uterus out of the toilet to make sure the ovum passed and I didn't have to have a D&C at that same time). Years later my mom, who was so supportive during that time actually threw that in my face one day for the first time and I had to tell her they lied because I was having a miscarriag at the same time. It was a very lonely time. I was expected to forgive them so I had to and we just never talk about it.It's horrible the things women will deal with on their own so they don't upset others, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteOh Lisa that's so selfish and heartless What a sad and lonely place for you
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