It's amazing how when you aren't chronically ill how you take so many things for granted. Things like getting in and out of a bath, taking a shower, even toileting when your back is in spasm, bending forward to clean your teeth, standing at the kitchen sink, wiping benches in the kitchen, sweeping the floor or simply bending to pick something up....
Everything we do has to be measured up and spoons metered out before a task is actually done. It certainly impinges on our spontaneity. For us, there usually are lots of ramifications when we have tried to be spontaneous. Pain and more of it!..
Once when we went to bed, we would expect to go straight to sleep, have pleasant dreams and wake up refreshed. Now we often watch the clock go round, drift off if we are lucky and dream of pain as we toss and turn in our sleep, only to wake up feeling like a truck has hit us.
Once when we went to bed, we would expect to go straight to sleep, have pleasant dreams and wake up refreshed. Now we often watch the clock go round, drift off if we are lucky and dream of pain as we toss and turn in our sleep, only to wake up feeling like a truck has hit us.
Normals would probably view our hesitancy to do a task as procrastination or laziness, and before becoming a Sacrificial Home Keeper or chronically ill woman, I would have as well... but we simply are adapting to our new normal...
When our illness is invisible like fibromyalgia for instance, we just want to be respected and understood, but inevitably, we are judged. Especially so if we have become overweight because of illness... it is us who suffer from guilt (false guilt really) that unkind judges of our body put upon us. This invariably leads to depression and overeating in an effort to gain energy to move more, or simply for comfort.
I am just so glad that God knows exactly what is in our heart and understands. He knows our frame and we are loved unconditionally- and this is so comforting to us who only know scathing remarks and criticism in this fallen world we are travelling through on the path of illness.
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
The LORD will strengthen him on his bed of illness; You will sustain him on his sickbed. Psalm 41:3
I hear you and can identify. I am where this post is. This is very well written.
ReplyDeleteBless you,
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I am sorry you are on this path with me, Deanna. I will pray for you and appreciate your prayers too. Blessings, Glenys
DeleteThey say that growing old is not for sissys and now that I’m there (65) I believe it. My husband just turned 69 and he’s been saying it for the last 20 years (as a three-time heart patient with numerous other chronic and serious issues). I can’t even relate to your health issues, Glenys, because I don’t have anything life changing and threatening like you have had and have. But on mornings when I wake up feeling like “I’ve been run over by a truck” (and there are many) I can at least have compassion and sympathy! Just last week I was finally diagonosed with alpha-gal (a disease from a tick bite) and I’m glad to FINALLY have a name for what I have been going through for the past year and a half. I know that my family and a couple of friends thought I was just whinning and not taking care of myself, getting over-weight because I couldn’t eat meat and many of the grains and good food I was used to, and therefore eating all the wrong stuff that I COULD digest. So, I can even relate a little bit to how people judge those with illnesses. I am sure the loneliness you experience is sometimes even worse than the physical pain. I am always amazed at the lovely posts you are able to put together despite your condition and the words of comfort, compassion and experience you share with others! Keep up that beautiful testimony and pointing everyone to God, who knows all that you bear for Him and for the greater cause.
ReplyDeleteBlessings! ~ Gwen USA
By the way, my daughter loved your recent poem that you allowed me to use on my Blog. And I told her about your “spoons” (never heard of that over here in the states) and now we’re always asking each other if we have any “spoons” when we have the occasion to talk on the phone and it cheers us up right off! Thank you!
Ticks can give one so many illness that become chronic. I feel for you. My husband Chris has just turned 70 and says he can feel his strength from younger days diminishing too. Now that you have your diagnosis, maybe you can find foods that you can eat that are healthier? Don't worry about the weight... it may normalise later when you eat better... if not, know you are loved anyway! I am so glad your daughter liked the poem. I talk to Chris in spoons and he understands exactly what I mean. :) Thank you for sharing a cuppa with me today, Gwen.
DeleteGreat post Glenys I can TOTALLY relate. You already know most of my health problems but now I have added LVH (heart condition) and am on 3 liters of oxygen 24/7. I am somewhat grieving over losing even more functioning from the VERY minimal I had left. I lay in bed a lot and my weight is unspeakable....I remind myself that God looks on the heart. Love Kelly Thompson
ReplyDeleteKelly, I am so sad that you now have LVH to deal with, plus constant oxygen. Yes, we grieve everything and the only thing we can do is remind ourself that this too will pass! We are still loved so much and have much more than this sad old world can offer us to look forward to. When we get Home, you will be one of the first people I look for so I can give you a big hug! Maranatha!
DeleteThat brought tears to my eyes....You are so dear to my heart and have been for many many years....I hope we meet in the air soon. Love you.
DeleteKelly
Looking forward to it, Kelly. I love you too and I pray for you when you come to mind.
DeleteHi Glenys, I'm so sorry that you're dealing with all this. I'm fortunate enough not to have too many health problems, but currently I'm suffering from frozen shoulder and it HURTS. I find myself doing less and less and my husband is doing more and more and sometimes I feel very guilty because of it. I'm lucky in that my frozen shoulder will get better (I had the other one frozen 2 years ago and it's fine now), so I try not to feel too sorry for myself over it. Hope you're feeling better today. :-)
ReplyDeleteOh no how painful, Cheryl! I am praying it resolves itself soon. Blessings, Glenys
ReplyDeleteHi Glenys, thank you for your prayers, I appreciate it.
DeleteYou're most welcome, Cheryl!
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