So my nerves were shot. I had a nervous stomach and acid reflux that burnt the back of my throat. Nightmares held me captive to fear during my sleep and my anxiety levels were sky high.
Like many people in this sad world, I was agonising over Covid 19. Here in Victoria the infection rate is climbing making deaths more commonplace than ever. We are stuck in lockdown with no end in sight, and we are over it.
I have been watching conspiracy theories which seem plausible sometimes, and I have had plenty of time to think. Too much time, actually.
Also, I have been watching Rapture sermons, wanting to understand the signs of Christ's coming for His Church.
Finally, I could no longer bear those thoughts and realised that I had to repent and change my thinking. I had to bring it into the captivity of Christ.
Going into my study, I closed the door and confessed that I had let fear get the better of me. I also confessed that I am trying to work everything out: things that don't really concern me...
I have been a Christian for over 39 years now, and I have had to recognise that I will never work out things that are too deep for our mind.
I used to wonder how God is God- how He could be the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end...
how the world was created- was it in 6 literal days, or days that equalled eons..
how the Blood covers sin- what was the significance of blood in sacrifice?
how the miracles occurred..
how Jesus rose from the dead... and exactly where He went when in the tomb for 3 days?
There were many more questions I wanted answers to, like when Christ is coming for us, and I really tried in my limited reasoning to understand...and in doing so, I lost my peace...
Finally, I decided that some things just have to be taken on faith and by trust in God. How God is God and does the miraculous is beyond me. I just have to trust in Him and believe. That's where faith comes in and brings me peace.
Being faithful and loving God and walking in the Spirit is what God calls me to do- the other stuff, frankly is none of my business.... and like the faith a child, I am going to put my trust in God and His Word.
I am feeling better but you can be sure I will be hanging on to my faith for dear life!
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 2 Corinthians 10:5
I'm so sorry you have been struggling like this, Glenys. I think everyone is finding Covid-19 quite terrifying and unsettling, and it's so much worse when you are quarantining due to health conditions as you are. I have always been comforted by 2 Corinthians 5 verse 7 "We live by faith, not by sight" (some versions use 'walk' instead of 'live') Take care and I pray that God will comfort you and strengthen you. Thank you for sharing so honestly with the Hearth and Soul Link Party.
ReplyDeleteThanks for that verse, April. I like it too and find it comforting. Thank you for not only sponsoring Hearth and Soul Link Party, but for being a Barnabas: a real encourager! I enjoy sharing a cuppa with you here, and in your blog. Blessings, Glenys
DeleteGlenys I found for me I had to stop news watching and reading and also even stop Rapture sermons. I of course am overjoyed for the Rapture. However all these things were weighing heavy on mind. We were never meant to take on the world's problems. Back in the day, we didn't know what was going in the Middle East, or probably even the STATE east of us....we had our little local world and family. I am reading diaries of farm wives and while their life is monotonous it is also free of mental angst! Kelly Thompson
ReplyDeleteYes, sometimes I think we get an overdose of news and opinions, even when they're good ones like the Rapture! It keeps it all foremost in our mind and creates mental angst for sure. Let's know He's coming soon and rejoice! Maranatha!
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