A marriage that's too hard to handle



I have found that emotional abuse in a marriage leads to physical illnesses that in turn destroy a woman's life. That therefore equates to the same thing as physical abuse. 
In searching for help in my marriage I approached a godly older woman- a pastor's wife after I was violently raped by my ex-husband just five weeks after undergoing major women's surgery... she sided with my husband.... there was no compassion for the abuse in my marriage.. 
I am so glad that I realised she was biased towards preservation of my marriage as opposed to preservation of myself. I was thrown into the lions den with no thought as to my safety. I now have PTSD... 
I would therefore advise an abused wife-either physical or emotional abuse- to leave for a time until or if the husband submits to church discipline or agrees to marriage counselling and then to approach a reconciliation only after proof of repentance.
It is simply too detrimental to a woman's health to stay in an abusive marriage without any hope of improvement. It is simply too hard to handle...


© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. Malachi 2:14

I'm my own worst enemy!




When I have no spoons or motivation to do housework, I often watch Youtube videos of people cleaning their home. Sometimes it works and I feel that I can get something done.

This can sometimes go against me because often the videos are of women half my age, with no disabilities and therefore no need to worry about spoons or flares or having to take a nana nap.

They seem to be cleaning houses that are already immaculate and they make it look so easy. Their homes outshine mine in every way, and so does their appearance. It can make me more depressed if I am in a flare of fibromyalgia, trying to get motivated to clean and teetering at the edge of the Pit of Despair. 

So I have to take Chris's advice and remember that I am an older woman with chronic health issues and try not to compare myself with them. But the desire to kindle a spark of motivation is strong and I find myself gravitating to those videos like a moth to a flame. And often it only makes me feel worse!

Sometimes, I think I'm my own worst enemy! 

It has a comforting ring to it.


In these last days before the Rapture of the Church, we are buffetted about with trials and tribulations and pestilences.

We are shaken and we are tired and the finishing line is just ahead. As the darkness of a sick world falls we would do well to remember that although we may feel that world is out of control, it is exactly as God told us it would be in these final days.

These trying days, the Body of Christ must pray for each other and encourage each other to run their race well. We know that the Age of Grace will soon be over, and Christ will translate the Church- us believers into His Kingdom. Therefore, we must tell the lost about Him and do so until that time comes.

This translation of the Church into God's Presence is called the Rapture and according to the Word, we are now observing many of the prophecies we were told to look for, coming to pass daily. This means the Rapture is soon.

Not being able to go to church anymore due to illness through fibromyalgia, mobility issues and angina mainly, I find great comfort in the fellowship of believers through the internet. It's terribly important that we do not forsake the gathering together in corporate worship as support for each other is critical to us running our race well. But like myself, if you can't get to church, try to build a network of Christian friends who will pray for you and support you  It's difficult, it's tough and it's scary!

At the rapture I believe we'll all stand before God still holding each other up and lifting the weary hands that had hung down.  This special relationship is called KOINONIA. :1. the Christian fellowship or body of believers 2. intimate spiritual communion& sharing in a common religious commitment& spiritual community

Let us spur each other on to love and good works and let us pray for each other in Koinonia. We need to be there for each other and watch each other's backs. That's what family do. We are all sons and daughters of the Most High and we share the same Father. So let us truly enjoy Koinonia in these testing times. 

Koinonia: it has a comforting ring to it. 


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works  Hebrews 10: 24

You meant it for my harm


We have had a lot of chaos in our lives with Covid and world events. Being home has meant a lot of time to think. Sometimes this can be good but other times it can lead to depression.

Lately I have had too much time to think and it had given rise to depression at times. Often it lead to having the evil one throw darts at me, often in reminding me of sins and mistakes of the past.

Things have been better lately. Once I realised that the darts were coming from the evil one, I was able to take action.

We know that the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin with a way out: repentance and forgiveness. But the evil one condemns and accuses with no way to move forward out of the path of guilt and anxiety.

What the evil one was doing was trying to make me feel guilty and sad over past sins that have been forgiven and covered by the Blood of Jesus. 

Remembering that Jesus has thrown those sins and mistakes into the Sea of Forgetfulness and remembers them no more, gave me the tool and the power to overcome these attacks.

An example of this would be me remembering some sin in my past that I would prefer to forget. The old anxiety pattern would start, making me miserable. So my conversation (vocal if I was alone) was to acknowledge with Satan that I was indeed guilty... but reminding him that Jesus has paid the price for that sin and has forgiven me! 

Immediately, I would thank Jesus for His sacrifice and forgiveness and I would feel happy again. Satan cannot stand us to pray, praise and love Jesus! 

What Satan meant for my harm became a reason to rejoice in my salvation! 

Next time you are reminded of your past sin, remind him that you are redeemed and belong to Christ and start to praise Him. The devil will flee and what was meant for evil will be for your good.

 
© Glenys Robyn Hicks

 

But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. Genesis 50:20

It makes my spoons quiver!



So yesterday we had more family come for Christmas. We had a lovely lunch, feasting on the abundant leftovers from the feast on Christmas Day. 

Because I had pushed myself physically the day before, my fibromyalgia was flaring and my back was spasming because I had been on my feet preparing food for a long time. I was feeling overwhelmed.

I was feeling hospitable, it was just because of pain that the day was on a downer for me personally. I tried my best to be cheerful. We Fibromites and chronically ill people become consumate actors in playing the cheerful game.

My step-daughter was very gracious and helped me make teas and coffees and carve left over ham, and not for the first time, I was very grateful to her.

With 35C temperatures- 95F, I was also very grateful for our air conditioner. The dining area was very comfortable and we passed a pleasant day.

My little 4 year old great-granddaughter Evie came to me and asked me to show her my bedroom. So taking my hand, she led me to my room, looked at the ensuite, and declared, "Nana, I love your house, and I love you too!"  It made my day.

Her declaration of love warms my heart even now as I talk to you. I am sitting here in fibro pain with my two freshly broken purple toes throbbing. (I kicked the corner of the dining table leg, collecting two toes for the price of one.) But the happiness of my little lovely Evie's declaration overshadows even the pain today.

The house is tidy, the washing in the machine and the Christmas tree and decorations are put away. My robotic vacuums have been run today. We are now officially post Christmas.

We placed the tree still decorated into a closet that is empty, and should the LORD tarry, it will be a simple matter to reinstall it next year. Not that I really can imagine another Christmas right now. 

Quite simply, nice as it was, it makes my few remaining spoons quiver! 


Maranatha!



Scripture tells us that we will not know the day or hour that Jesus comes to take His Bride- the Church home with Him. We who are looking for His glorious appearing and being with Christ for eternity are longing for the Day. And so we should be.
“However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows"  Matthew 24:36

Many of us are experiencing our own tribulations as the world is cast into the shadow of the great Tribulation, and we are tired of living in this sin-filled, ungodly world. We need to keep not only our eyes looking up, but our hearts. 

As in the days of Noah, so shall it be in the final days before the Rapture also known in the Bible as the Harpazo and  Rapturo. (Yes it is mentioned in the scriptures). We need to keep the faith, keep fighting the good fight and keep our spirits and heart in longing for our Beloved to come for us. And He is coming! 

What can we be doing as we wait for Jesus to take us Home?

  • I believe we should be in prayer for those people suffering under authorities such as the Taliban and for all those Christians who are in danger. 
  • We need to intercede for the Ukrainians who are being invaded as we speak.
  • We should be praying for those who are still unsaved. 
  • Keeping the faith can be difficult for some, especially as the world gets darker. We need to pray for ourselves too.

How can we overcome the anxiety and depression these end days bring?

  • We should bring our thoughts and minds under the control of the Holy Spirit by focussing on good things that are still here
  • We must remember that Christ is in control, no matter how bad a situation becomes.
  • We must bring everything we see, hear and read in to the light of the Word and we must remember that all these things, though disturbing, are temporary.
  • We must maintain an attitude of gratitude for all things in our life and dwell on God's goodness.
  • We simply must be a person of worship and praise.
  • We must be in the Word.
  • We must remember that Jesus has promised to take us Home before the Great Tribulation. Revelation 3:10 see below

The end is in sight and we are tired. We long for Jesus to take us to be with Him. We are continuing to fight the good fight. We are running the race and our Saviour cheers us on. 

We are being His faithful servants even in the end days.. whilst watching and waiting. Even so, come Lord Jesus! Maranatha! If you are not saved, get saved now. There's not much time left so get on the Ark! 


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


Because you have kept My command to persevere, I also will keep you from the hour of trial which shall come upon the whole world, to test those who dwell on the earth. Revelation 3:10

Her Kinsman-Redeemer!




Through new-born eyes the infant King stares at Mary's face, 
Her deep brown eyes drinking in the sight of Him-
His tiny hand clasped strongly around her finger-
The first touch of God incarnate amongst man.
He is God's own Son-
Her Kinsman-Redeemer.

Through pain-filled eyes the crucified King stares into Mary’s face again,
Entrusting her into John’s care-
Longing to reach out to her with His pierced hands
To bring her the comfort of God -
He is her own Son-
Her Kinsman-Redeemer.

In death His glazed eyes still behold her and all mankind for whom He died,
His bloodied hand now resting on Mary’s shoulder
Comforting her as she cries in her grief –
Even in death loving her,
Her victorious Saviour and evermore
Her Kinsman-Redeemer.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks 

“When Jesus saw His mother, He said, ‘Woman, behold your son!” John 19:26

The Gift



And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. Luke 2:7

It's all I can do this year!


So I did a thing that stripped me of what little spoons I had. I took a shower and went to click and collect a few Christmas gifts I ordered on line.

I came home and cooked dinner and had a bad asthma attack. I couldn't breathe properly. Chris tidied up the kitchen for me and I sat down for a while until I felt better.

The Mother of all Fibro Flares has paid me a visit. I ache everywhere and feel too exhausted even to talk. It is nearly 11am here and I am ready to go to bed. I will have a nana nap.

You just have to listen to your body in times like this. Hopefully I will wake up with some spoons Christmas Day.

As we now have a large enough home for guests, we will be hosting Christmas this year. I am having a simple traditional meal and that's all...

I am too pooped to worry a great deal about Christmas this year. We have bought a few things online and that will have to do. Sometimes you just have to rest your tired twinkle! 

Apart from cancelling Christmas, it's all I can do this year!. 



Through troubled waters to Home



We   are  now nearly into  2023 and   I  was  considering  how  fearful  some  of us  are  as  the   New  Year approaches  and I was  comforted  to realise  that God has got this!   There  is no need to fear.
How can we have the peace we need as we face yet another year of uncertain times? By remembering Who is our Backstop, our Guide and our Comforter..
Jesus has brought us through every day until now... He guides us through each day through His Holy Spirit... He comforts us as we travel through troubled waters on our way  Home with Him. 

    He is able. 
         He is. 
              And was. 
                 And will be....
Emmanuel- 
      God with us. 
          Not far from us. 
             Here. 
                 Now. 
A very present help in trouble...

Let  us join our hearts  and hands united in faith,  and not fear the future. We are in very good Hands... and  may  God give us His Peace  and guide us  through troubled  waters to  Home....

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty. Revelation 1:8

If you are not sure where your eternal Home will be, please read this link. Don't go another year without assurance and peace that comes with salvation...

Failing fast



You may have noticed I haven't been posting much lately. Fibromyalgia, heart disease, high blood pressure and now boils have taken over my body all at once.

My body is failing me and the fatigue is not only sapping my strength but my mental faculties. It is hard to formulate a sentence these days.

I have been to the doctor. My blood pressure meds have been increased (200/86) and that in itself makes me tired.

These days it takes me all my time to look after Chris and my home. Forget socialising.

I am on the strongest oral antibiotics, taking 9 a day. They have brought the boil on my spine to a head. I am waiting for it to pop itself, rather than try to squeeze it. Though I think I would die from the pain if we tried to do that. The boil is quite large.

I pace myself to try to eke out my meagre spoons but I find I just have to have a nana nap in the day to have enough spoons to cook dinner.

I am praying that I feel better for Christmas as we are having family here for lunch Christmas Day. Most certainly I will have to be stronger than what I am now. My body is failing fast.




Invisible illnesses hurt as much as a broken arm.



So yesterday I got my tooth seen at the dentist. I was overjoyed that she managed to save it. It was a gruelling 45 minute sit in the chair.

Those of you who suffer from fibromyalgia know that sitting stretched back with one's head tilted to the side is not an easy pose to stay in. Add ankylosing spondylitis and polymyalgia rheumatica to the mix, and it's a half hour of torture.

I must say though that the lady dentist was very patient, kind and efficient. I told her about my many ailments as required for a new patient, and I was amazed that not only did she know what fibromyalgia was, but was very careful to not touch my neck roughly. 

She also gave me double the novacaine because she knew I would be very sensitive to pain.

It so happens that her friend suffers from fibromylgia and she has a really bad time of it. To have the dentist allow me to sit up and have a rest every ten minutes was a blessing. In fact, she was a godsend.

She lowered the chair as far as it would go as I got out, and being aware of my torn knee ligaments in both knees, she helped me get out and stand up. 

Today, my tooth is not aching at all, but my jaw, ear and neck are. I suspect from the injections and keeping my mouth open for so long. I have TMJ as well.

Today I have been doing meals, cleaning my kitchen and folding washing whilst medicating with paracetamol. I have had to take it every 6 hours, but it is what it is. I am still better off filling the tooth as opposed to pulling it.

My plan for tonight's meal is to make a sweet curry pork dish with rice. Chris loves that and it's easy to do in the slow cooker.

My online shop will be coming in an hour or so, and I will put that away. That's it for today.

I loved that the dentist took fibromyalgia seriously. It's not often that it is. When you find someone like that, the validation lifts one's spirits. Thanks goodness some people believe that invisible illnesses hurt as much as a broken arm.