Showing posts sorted by relevance for query Our word must be true. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query Our word must be true. Sort by date Show all posts

Our word must be true

How sure are we today that when someone promises us something, giving their word, that they will stay true to their promise? Truth be told, not many of us. Gone are the days when men came to a gentleman’s agreement by shaking hands after the giving of one’s word- it being a matter of honor to a man to make sure he delivered his promise.

So much faith was put in the giving of one’s word and keeping of a promise that a man whose fiancĂ©e broke an engagement could sue her for breach of promise! How most of us these days would laugh at such a notion! But really, in God’s sight, breaking our word is a serious matter!

Today everything has to be in writing- a verbal promise is taken as not being worth the air it was breathed and until all matters are confirmed on paper, nothing is sure. We see the same lack of personal integrity with marriage vows- it seems that the parties will live together until the going gets tough. Then it is just a matter of filing for a divorce and moving on.

Recently a family member went for a job interview. He was told he had the job, and was shown where to park his car and where to present in the morning. Hands were shaken and this man left elated that at last he had found a job! Two hours later, the employment agency rang him to tell him he had been unsuccessful! After confronting the prospective employers he was told that as nothing had been signed on paper, they were at liberty to change their mind and give the job to someone else! Anger was nearly as strong an emotion as disappointment. It shows the level that we have sunken to as a dishonest and arrogant society today.

The world in general have no one to answer to except themselves so it really should come as no surprise that they do not keep their word. But for us Christians, our word should be reliable and true! How it must grieve God if His people cannot be trusted with their word. For whether we like it or not, when we name the Name of Christ, His reputation is put on the line when we break our word. We are ambassadors for Christ.

We should therefore be careful about what we promise to do and when we promise something, we should follow it through even if it is inconvenient or we suffer to our own hurt. For as we are bearers of the Word of God- we must be all the more careful to be sure that our own word is trustworthy and true! Let us think carefully before we give our word on any matter. Better to not give it than to break it. For in doing so, we just may turn some away from coming to Christ!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

‘Lord, who may abide in your tabernacle? Who may dwell in your holy hill? He who walks uprightly, and works righteousness, and speaks the truth in his heart; He who does not backbite with his tongue, nor does evil to his neighbour, not does he take up a reproach against his friend; in whose eyes a vile person is despised, but he honours those who fear the LORD. He who swears to his own hurt and does not change; he who does not put out his money at usury, nor does he take a bribe against the innocent, he who does these things shall never be moved’. Psalm 15.

Who gets the first-fruits of you?



This probably is a silly sounding title for a post, but what I am asking is: who gets the cream off the top of the milk when it comes to getting the best from you? We are so many things to so many people that we can at times be spread quite thin and we can find that we are giving the first-fruits of ourselves to people, projects and things that do not deserve first place in our life's priorities.

Because we are so many things to so many people, and we only have so many hours in our day to be that special person, I have to ask: who really gets the best of you? God? Husband? Children? Home? friends? extended family? work? or church? Is your best given to those who do not truly benefit from your best? Are you so bound up in cleaning your house that you forget to play with your babies? Are you so busy spinning your wheel that your husband gets the dregs of your best self at the end of a busy day? Did you hit the floor running this morning and forget to have some time with the LORD? and do you fall into bed exhausted and strangely discontented and frustrated because you haven't accomplished half of what you set out to do today and you feel out of control? I have been there- and still am sometimes.

I think it is then that we have to sit back and look at what is key in our life- who warrants the first-fruits of our being- our person- our spirit-our time. Do we really want to shower our lovely smiles on strangers in shops but scowl at our spouse? Do we want to be caught up in soap operas on TV or endless shopping trips when we could have spent that time playing with our children? And could we have organised our day better so that our house was clean and tidied up before our husband came home to find us agitatedly trying to do in 10 mins what should have been done earlier on in the day? Is he greeted with a scowling face because he is already home and dinner isn't even started yet? I have been there I am afraid to say.

Life is short and we owe it to ourselves and our families to settle what our priorities in life are. For all of us God is our first priority. He deserves the creme de la creme of our lives. Our love, our attention, our obedience and our service. We simply must take time to study our bible, meditate on the Word, pray and worship. And meet with the Body of Christ on a regular basis if possible.

Secondly for those of us who are married, our spouse needs a major part of the first-fruits of our being- because he is one with us. We must love, honour, respect and (yes) obey him as unto the LORD. We must plan to spend some time with him deferring to him, listening to him, paying close attention to what he is saying and taking an interest in him. This is key to having an ongoing vibrant and intimate relationship with him. It would be disastrous to our marriages if our husbands had been so neglected that they felt that they had lost closeness with the one woman they really ever need- us: the wife.

We must do all in our power to fill the deep longing for loving sexual intimacy with our husband. He must never feel that he must grovel for our favours or compete with his children- much as you both love them- he must know in his heart that after God, he is Lord. Even Sarah called Abraham Lord out of respect for him. I do not feel that we have to call them "Lord", but we must respect and love our husbands with the deferential treatment we give to our LORD as a service unto Him.

Then in our priorities comes our children. They need most of the first-fruits of our being- our love, patience, training, feeding, clothing, teaching, nurturing, nursing, and caring of bodily needs. And they deserve a mother who is there as Mom whenever they need her. Mothering never stops- not even when the children are grown. They will still call for advice with their children or with their relationships or jobs. It is imperative that we reserve our energies for them too.

Then there is the home: our haven. We have a responsibility under God to look well to the ways of our own household. Our home needs to be tended and protected for this is where the family grows and the seed of civilisation is sown. Here is where the principles of faith are not only taught but shown in the little things as well as the big. Here we train our children to cope with life, to be godly, domestic or mechanical, caring, honest and disciplined.

From here the springs of water in knowledge will flow into the hearts and minds of all who live there. The home will be firmly imprinted on our minds for good or bad- yet that imprint will be indelible. Home will forever be etched in our hearts and will draw us back in thoughts if not in deed. Your home then demands a large part of the first-fruits of your endeavours and discipline.

How can this all be achieved? I don't have my days so well planned yet that I have found the perfect answer for my own home. Some days my illness makes me extremely tired. But one thing I have found to be true- the day must be started with God. It is amazing to see how much more can be accomplished after a time with the Lord Jesus. I find that He clarifies my thinking and helps me establish my daily path. I pray about what must be achieved this very day. Then I write it down. I continue in prayer for personal needs or guidance and I finish up by playing worship music. This sets the tone of my day.

I then continue throughout the day trying to focus on that which I have planned to do, crossing off things as I finish. Because I am aware of the other priorities in my life, I try to have time set aside with my husband and I try to allow for unforeseen events such as taking my mother to the doctor or so on. No day is ever going to go to plan precisely, in fact life would be very dull without any challenges. But I truly believe if we start to realise our priorities and keep to them, then those people and things deserving of the best of our lives will be satisfied.

By establishing a routine with those priorities in mind, you will not stretch yourself too thin and the first-fruits of your life will be given to those people and projects that have eternal value. If you plan your life on these Godly priorities, I guarantee you will find rest comes easy and life is much more fulfilling.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


" So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom" Psalm 90:12

God values the homemaker

All of us Christian wives who are seeking to live life according to God’s Word, are bombarded by feminist teaching and other unscriptural advice. We are further alienated from our sisters who work part-time because society sees them as contributing whereas it portrays us as parasitic!

So great is the attack on us, that often we sit scratching our heads and wondering if they could be right. As in all things, we would do well to seek what the Word of God says.

I have compiled some feminist and ungodly views and I have answered them with the Word. As always, we see the Truth of a housewife’s value in God’s sight is revealed in His Word. I am sure you can find other verses such as Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 that show how God feels about our work in the home.

Feminist and worldly view

“A parasite sucking out the living strength of another organism…the housewife’s labor does not even tend toward the creation of anything durable…. Woman’s work within the home is not directly useful to society, produces nothing. The housewife is subordinate, secondary, and parasitic. It is for their common welfare that the situation must be altered by prohibiting marriage as a ‘career’ for woman.” The Second Sex, 1949 by Simone de Beauvoir
Isaiah 3:11-13 Woe unto the wicked! it shall be ill with him: for the reward of his hands shall be given him. As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths. The LORD standeth up to plead, and standeth to judge the people.

“[The] housewife is a nobody, and [housework] is a dead-end job. It may actually have a deteriorating effect on her mind…rendering her incapable of prolonged concentration on any single task. [She] comes to seem dumb as well as dull. [B]eing a housewife makes women sick.” — Sociologist Jessie Bernard in The Future of Marriage, 1982.
Proverbs 31:27 “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat of the bread of idleness.”

“[As long as the woman] is the primary caretaker of childhood, she is prevented from being a free human being.” — Kate Millett, Sexual Politics, 1969.
Proverbs 31:28 “Her children arise and call her blessed…”

“[Housewives] are dependent creatures who are still children…parasites.” — Gloria Steinham, “What It Would Be Like If Women Win,” Time, August 31, 1970.
Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes

“[Housewives] are mindless and thing-hungry…not people. [Housework] is peculiarly suited to the capacities of feeble-minded girls. [It] arrests their development at an infantile level, short of personal identity with an inevitably weak core of self…. [Housewives] are in as much danger as the millions who walked to their own death in the concentration camps. [The] conditions which destroyed the human identity of so many prisoners were not the torture and brutality, but conditions similar to those which destroy the identity of the American housewife.” — Betty Frieden, The Feminine Mystique, 1963.
Psalm 127: 3-5 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

“[A]s long as the family and the myth of the family and the myth of maternity and the maternal instinct are not destroyed, women will still be oppressed…. No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one. It is a way of forcing women in a certain direction.” — Simone de Beauvoir, “Sex, Society, and the Female Dilemma,” Saturday Review, June 14, 1975
Titus 2:4-5 “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

[I]f even 10 percent of American women remain full-time homemakers, this will reinforce traditional views of what women ought to do and encourage other women to become full-time homemakers at least while their children are very young…. If women disproportionately take time off from their careers to have children, or if they work less hard than men at their careers while their children are young, this will put them at a competitive disadvantage vis-a-vis men, particularly men whose wives do all the homemaking and child care…. This means that no matter how any individual feminist might feel about child care and housework, the movement as a whole had reasons to discourage full-time homemaking.” — Jane J. Mansbridge, Why We Lost the ERA, 1986.
1 Timothy 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

We who make marriage and home our career usually do so at great personal expense. It is much more difficult to make ends meet on one wage and it is often made more difficult because of society’s general view of the stay at home wife and mother.  We become unwise when we look at our life's work in service to God and family through the world's eyes, not God's.  We must bring our thoughts into captivity of Christ....

In order to grasp the freedom and beauty of being a full time homemaker, we must come back periodically to the Word. Only in doing so will we see the true value of our calling in Christ, Who Himself came as a Servant to redeem us...

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: Philippians 2: 7

How God sees the housewife: a study

All of us Christian wives who are seeking to live life according to God’s Word, are bombarded by feminist teaching and other unscriptural advice. We are further alienated from our sisters who work part-time because society sees them as contributing whereas it portrays us as parasitic!

So great is the attack on us, that often we sit scratching our heads and wondering if they could be right. As in all things, we would do well to seek what the Word of God says.

I have compiled some feminist and ungodly views and I have answered them with the Word. As always, we see the Truth of a housewife’s value in God’s sight is revealed in His Word. I am sure you can find other verses such as Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 that show how God feels about our work in the home.

Feminist and worldly view

“A parasite sucking out the living strength of another organism…the housewife’s labor does not even tend toward the creation of anything durable…. Woman’s work within the home is not directly useful to society, produces nothing. The housewife is subordinate, secondary, and parasitic. It is for their common welfare that the situation must be altered by prohibiting marriage as a ‘career’ for woman.” The Second Sex, 1949 by Simone de Beauvoir
Isaiah 3:11-13 Woe unto the wicked! it shall be ill with him: for the reward of his hands shall be given him. As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths. The LORD standeth up to plead, and standeth to judge the people.

“[The] housewife is a nobody, and [housework] is a dead-end job. It may actually have a deteriorating effect on her mind…rendering her incapable of prolonged concentration on any single task. [She] comes to seem dumb as well as dull. [B]eing a housewife makes women sick.” — Sociologist Jessie Bernard in The Future of Marriage, 1982.
Proverbs 31:27 “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat of the bread of idleness.”

“[As long as the woman] is the primary caretaker of childhood, she is prevented from being a free human being.” — Kate Millett, Sexual Politics, 1969.
Proverbs 31:28 “Her children arise and call her blessed…”

“[Housewives] are dependent creatures who are still children…parasites.” — Gloria Steinham, “What It Would Be Like If Women Win,” Time, August 31, 1970.
Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes

“[Housewives] are mindless and thing-hungry…not people. [Housework] is peculiarly suited to the capacities of feeble-minded girls. [It] arrests their development at an infantile level, short of personal identity with an inevitably weak core of self…. [Housewives] are in as much danger as the millions who walked to their own death in the concentration camps. [The] conditions which destroyed the human identity of so many prisoners were not the torture and brutality, but conditions similar to those which destroy the identity of the American housewife.” — Betty Frieden, The Feminine Mystique, 1963.
Psalm 127: 3-5 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

“[A]s long as the family and the myth of the family and the myth of maternity and the maternal instinct are not destroyed, women will still be oppressed…. No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one. It is a way of forcing women in a certain direction.” — Simone de Beauvoir, “Sex, Society, and the Female Dilemma,” Saturday Review, June 14, 1975
Titus 2:4-5 “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

[I]f even 10 percent of American women remain full-time homemakers, this will reinforce traditional views of what women ought to do and encourage other women to become full-time homemakers at least while their children are very young…. If women disproportionately take time off from their careers to have children, or if they work less hard than men at their careers while their children are young, this will put them at a competitive disadvantage vis-a-vis men, particularly men whose wives do all the homemaking and child care…. This means that no matter how any individual feminist might feel about child care and housework, the movement as a whole had reasons to discourage full-time homemaking.” — Jane J. Mansbridge, Why We Lost the ERA, 1986.
1 Timothy 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

We who make marriage and home our career usually do so at great personal expense. It is much more difficult to make ends meet on one wage and it is often made more difficult because of society’s general view of the stay at home wife and mother.  We become unwise when we look at our life's work in service to God and family through the world's eyes, not God's.  We must bring our thoughts into captivity of Christ....

In order to grasp the freedom and beauty of being a full time homemaker, we must come back periodically to the Word. Only in doing so will we see the true value of our calling in Christ, Who Himself came as a Servant to redeem us...


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: Philippians 2: 7

What does God say about the housewife?


A
ll of us Christian wives who are seeking to live life according to God’s Word, are bombarded by feminist teaching and other unscriptural advice. We are further alienated from our sisters who work part-time because society sees them as contributing whereas it portrays us as parasitic!

So great is the attack on us, that often we sit scratching our heads and wondering if they could be right. As in all things, we would do well to seek what the Word of God says.

I have compiled some feminist and ungodly views and I have answered them with the Word. As always, we see the Truth of a housewife’s value in God’s sight is revealed in His Word. I am sure you can find other verses such as Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 that show how God feels about our work in the home.

Feminist and worldly view

“A parasite sucking out the living strength of another organism…the housewife’s labor does not even tend toward the creation of anything durable…. Woman’s work within the home is not directly useful to society, produces nothing. The housewife is subordinate, secondary, and parasitic. It is for their common welfare that the situation must be altered by prohibiting marriage as a ‘career’ for woman.” The Second Sex, 1949 by Simone de Beauvoir
Isaiah 3:11-13 Woe unto the wicked! it shall be ill with him: for the reward of his hands shall be given him. As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths. The LORD standeth up to plead, and standeth to judge the people.

“[The] housewife is a nobody, and [housework] is a dead-end job. It may actually have a deteriorating effect on her mind…rendering her incapable of prolonged concentration on any single task. [She] comes to seem dumb as well as dull. [B]eing a housewife makes women sick.” — Sociologist Jessie Bernard in The Future of Marriage, 1982.
Proverbs 31:27 “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat of the bread of idleness.”

“[As long as the woman] is the primary caretaker of childhood, she is prevented from being a free human being.” — Kate Millett, Sexual Politics, 1969.
Proverbs 31:28 “Her children arise and call her blessed…”

“[Housewives] are dependent creatures who are still children…parasites.” — Gloria Steinham, “What It Would Be Like If Women Win,” Time, August 31, 1970.
Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes

“[Housewives] are mindless and thing-hungry…not people. [Housework] is peculiarly suited to the capacities of feeble-minded girls. [It] arrests their development at an infantile level, short of personal identity with an inevitably weak core of self…. [Housewives] are in as much danger as the millions who walked to their own death in the concentration camps. [The] conditions which destroyed the human identity of so many prisoners were not the torture and brutality, but conditions similar to those which destroy the identity of the American housewife.” — Betty Frieden, The Feminine Mystique, 1963.
Psalm 127: 3-5 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

“[A]s long as the family and the myth of the family and the myth of maternity and the maternal instinct are not destroyed, women will still be oppressed…. No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one. It is a way of forcing women in a certain direction.” — Simone de Beauvoir, “Sex, Society, and the Female Dilemma,” Saturday Review, June 14, 1975
Titus 2:4-5 “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

[I]f even 10 percent of American women remain full-time homemakers, this will reinforce traditional views of what women ought to do and encourage other women to become full-time homemakers at least while their children are very young…. If women disproportionately take time off from their careers to have children, or if they work less hard than men at their careers while their children are young, this will put them at a competitive disadvantage vis-a-vis men, particularly men whose wives do all the homemaking and child care…. This means that no matter how any individual feminist might feel about child care and housework, the movement as a whole had reasons to discourage full-time homemaking.” — Jane J. Mansbridge, Why We Lost the ERA, 1986.
1 Timothy 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

We who make marriage and home our career usually do so at great personal expense. It is much more difficult to make ends meet on one wage and it is often made more difficult because of society’s general view of the stay at home wife and mother.  We become unwise when we look at our life's work in service to God and family through the world's eyes, not God's.  We must bring our thoughts into captivity of Christ....

In order to grasp the freedom and beauty of being a full time homemaker, we must come back periodically to the Word. Only in doing so will we see the true value of our calling in Christ, Who Himself came as a Servant to redeem us...


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: Philippians 2: 7

Even Jesus served meals!

All of us Christian wives who are seeking to live life according to God’s Word, are bombarded by feminist teaching and other unscriptural advice. We are further alienated from our sisters who work part-time because society sees them as contributing whereas it portrays us as parasitic!

So great is the attack on us, that often we sit scratching our heads and wondering if they could be right. As in all things, we would do well to seek what the Word of God says.

I have compiled some feminist and ungodly views and I have answered them with the Word. As always, we see the Truth of a housewife’s value in God’s sight is revealed in His Word. I am sure you can find other verses such as Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 that show how God feels about our work in the home.

Feminist and worldly view

“A parasite sucking out the living strength of another organism…the housewife’s labor does not even tend toward the creation of anything durable…. Woman’s work within the home is not directly useful to society, produces nothing. The housewife is subordinate, secondary, and parasitic. It is for their common welfare that the situation must be altered by prohibiting marriage as a ‘career’ for woman.” The Second Sex, 1949 by Simone de Beauvoir
Isaiah 3:11-13 Woe unto the wicked! it shall be ill with him: for the reward of his hands shall be given him. As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths. The LORD standeth up to plead, and standeth to judge the people.

“[The] housewife is a nobody, and [housework] is a dead-end job. It may actually have a deteriorating effect on her mind…rendering her incapable of prolonged concentration on any single task. [She] comes to seem dumb as well as dull. [B]eing a housewife makes women sick.” — Sociologist Jessie Bernard in The Future of Marriage, 1982.
Proverbs 31:27 “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat of the bread of idleness.”

“[As long as the woman] is the primary caretaker of childhood, she is prevented from being a free human being.” — Kate Millett, Sexual Politics, 1969.
Proverbs 31:28 “Her children arise and call her blessed…”

“[Housewives] are dependent creatures who are still children…parasites.” — Gloria Steinham, “What It Would Be Like If Women Win,” Time, August 31, 1970.
Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes

“[Housewives] are mindless and thing-hungry…not people. [Housework] is peculiarly suited to the capacities of feeble-minded girls. [It] arrests their development at an infantile level, short of personal identity with an inevitably weak core of self…. [Housewives] are in as much danger as the millions who walked to their own death in the concentration camps. [The] conditions which destroyed the human identity of so many prisoners were not the torture and brutality, but conditions similar to those which destroy the identity of the American housewife.” — Betty Frieden, The Feminine Mystique, 1963.
Psalm 127: 3-5 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

“[A]s long as the family and the myth of the family and the myth of maternity and the maternal instinct are not destroyed, women will still be oppressed…. No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one. It is a way of forcing women in a certain direction.” — Simone de Beauvoir, “Sex, Society, and the Female Dilemma,” Saturday Review, June 14, 1975
Titus 2:4-5 “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

[I]f even 10 percent of American women remain full-time homemakers, this will reinforce traditional views of what women ought to do and encourage other women to become full-time homemakers at least while their children are very young…. If women disproportionately take time off from their careers to have children, or if they work less hard than men at their careers while their children are young, this will put them at a competitive disadvantage vis-a-vis men, particularly men whose wives do all the homemaking and child care…. This means that no matter how any individual feminist might feel about child care and housework, the movement as a whole had reasons to discourage full-time homemaking.” — Jane J. Mansbridge, Why We Lost the ERA, 1986.
1 Timothy 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

We who make marriage and home our career usually do so at great personal expense. It is much more difficult to make ends meet on one wage and it is often made more difficult because of society’s general view of the stay at home wife and mother.  We become unwise when we look at our life's work in service to God and family through the world's eyes, not God's.  We must bring our thoughts into captivity of Christ.... Who not only came to die, but came to serve. Even in the miracles of the fish and later in cooking breakfast for the disciples. Jesus saw meal making and feeding hungry people as service of great price!

In order to grasp the freedom and beauty of being a full time homemaker, we must come back periodically to the Word. Only in doing so will we see the true value of our calling in Christ, Who Himself came as a Servant to redeem us...


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: Philippians 2: 7

God sees the housewife as faithful


A
ll of us Christian wives who are seeking to live life according to God’s Word, are bombarded by feminist teaching and other unscriptural advice. We are further alienated from our sisters who work part-time because society sees them as contributing whereas it portrays us as parasitic!

So great is the attack on us, that often we sit scratching our heads and wondering if they could be right. As in all things, we would do well to seek what the Word of God says.

I have compiled some feminist and ungodly views and I have answered them with the Word. As always, we see the Truth of a housewife’s value in God’s sight is revealed in His Word. I am sure you can find other verses such as Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 that show how God feels about our work in the home.

Feminist and worldly view

“A parasite sucking out the living strength of another organism…the housewife’s labor does not even tend toward the creation of anything durable…. Woman’s work within the home is not directly useful to society, produces nothing. The housewife is subordinate, secondary, and parasitic. It is for their common welfare that the situation must be altered by prohibiting marriage as a ‘career’ for woman.” The Second Sex, 1949 by Simone de Beauvoir
Isaiah 3:11-13 Woe unto the wicked! it shall be ill with him: for the reward of his hands shall be given him. As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths. The LORD standeth up to plead, and standeth to judge the people.

“[The] housewife is a nobody, and [housework] is a dead-end job. It may actually have a deteriorating effect on her mind…rendering her incapable of prolonged concentration on any single task. [She] comes to seem dumb as well as dull. [B]eing a housewife makes women sick.” — Sociologist Jessie Bernard in The Future of Marriage, 1982.
Proverbs 31:27 “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat of the bread of idleness.”

“[As long as the woman] is the primary caretaker of childhood, she is prevented from being a free human being.” — Kate Millett, Sexual Politics, 1969.
Proverbs 31:28 “Her children arise and call her blessed…”

“[Housewives] are dependent creatures who are still children…parasites.” — Gloria Steinham, “What It Would Be Like If Women Win,” Time, August 31, 1970.
Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes

“[Housewives] are mindless and thing-hungry…not people. [Housework] is peculiarly suited to the capacities of feeble-minded girls. [It] arrests their development at an infantile level, short of personal identity with an inevitably weak core of self…. [Housewives] are in as much danger as the millions who walked to their own death in the concentration camps. [The] conditions which destroyed the human identity of so many prisoners were not the torture and brutality, but conditions similar to those which destroy the identity of the American housewife.” — Betty Frieden, The Feminine Mystique, 1963.
Psalm 127: 3-5 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

“[A]s long as the family and the myth of the family and the myth of maternity and the maternal instinct are not destroyed, women will still be oppressed…. No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one. It is a way of forcing women in a certain direction.” — Simone de Beauvoir, “Sex, Society, and the Female Dilemma,” Saturday Review, June 14, 1975
Titus 2:4-5 “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

[I]f even 10 percent of American women remain full-time homemakers, this will reinforce traditional views of what women ought to do and encourage other women to become full-time homemakers at least while their children are very young…. If women disproportionately take time off from their careers to have children, or if they work less hard than men at their careers while their children are young, this will put them at a competitive disadvantage vis-a-vis men, particularly men whose wives do all the homemaking and child care…. This means that no matter how any individual feminist might feel about child care and housework, the movement as a whole had reasons to discourage full-time homemaking.” — Jane J. Mansbridge, Why We Lost the ERA, 1986.
1 Timothy 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

We who make marriage and home our career usually do so at great personal expense. It is much more difficult to make ends meet on one wage and it is often made more difficult because of society’s general view of the stay at home wife and mother.  We become unwise when we look at our life's work in service to God and family through the world's eyes, not God's.  We must bring our thoughts into captivity of Christ....

In order to grasp the freedom and beauty of being a full time homemaker, we must come back periodically to the Word. Only in doing so will we see the true value of our calling in Christ, Who Himself came as a Servant to redeem us...


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: Philippians 2: 7

While we wait for Jesus



Most of the Christian Church is waiting for the Rapture wherein Christ comes for His Bride, the Church. It will be instant and unannounced. But hardly kept secret.

The Scriptures have told us for millenia about the need to keep busy and keep our hearts prepared as we wait for Jesus. But what should we be doing as we wait?

We are urged to keep oil in our lamps which means to be alert and watching for the signs that Christ is at the door. We are to be spiritually aware and physically pure and holy.

The bible also tells us to be minding our own business and keeping looking up. So how do we do this?

We need to be living in a way that is pleasing to the LORD. We are expected to do these things even if we are chronically ill. As when we were saved, we need to be serving Him in whatever calling He has placed us in. 

If we are at home, we are to keep serving our family. With all the turmoil in the world, we need to be loving as a wife and mother and diligent as a home maker. 

We are to continue working outside the home if that is where you are called and we are to witness through our daily living that we are Christians who have hope.  The world needs to see that we are not moved by world events.  

Whilst it is true that we are to mind our own business, we are expected to pray for others, both saved and unsaved and to give a reason for the hope that is within us, if asked. With meekness and humility.

It is imperative that we keep studying the Word, praying and worshiping. We must remember that our redemption is closer than when we first believed and we must keep close to the LORD.

Without clinging to Jesus, our hope will dwindle and we must be full of hope and love in order to firstly function for our family, then the world... 

In everything we do and everywhere we go, we need to share the hope that is within us, for the lost have never been more in need of Jesus than now with His return imminent. Time is short.

Resolve to keep close to Christ and to share to others whenever possible that they need to know Jesus as their Saviour NOW. But, be glad for whatever calling you are in now, and keep on keeping on.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 

Ours alone to deal with


In this world of instant gratification and self indulgence, we often look for a quick fix for weighty matters. We can't be bothered attending to character flaws that impede our Christian walk, and we often wish that there was someone else or some other way to handle it or make the problem go away. But there are some things that are ours and ours alone to deal with.

Salvation: Responding to Gods' invitation to accept Jesus as our Lord and Saviour is a very personal thing. Nobody can do it for you. You can't be saved by relying on your church attendance or your parents' or spouses' profession of faith. Salvation is strictly between you and God. It is by its very deeply personal connection between you and Gods' Holy Spirit, that you are saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. Romans 10:10

Responsibility for your own actions: The original finger-pointing and blame shifting happened in the Garden of Eden. Eve blamed the serpent, claiming that he beguiled her and she ate the fruit, and after eating of that same fruit, Adam shifted the blame to Eve, claiming that she shouldn't have shared it with him. We are experts at avoiding responsibility for our own actions. But taking responsibility for our own actions is critical in coming to a place of repentance. When I shall say to the righteous, [that] he shall surely live; if he trust to his own righteousness, and commit iniquity, all his righteousnesses shall not be remembered; but for his iniquity that he hath committed, he shall die for it. Ezekiel 33:13

Repentance: Being convicted of an offence or sin before the LORD is often something that is personally painful. No one else can make us repent, it is again a deeply personal matter of the heart.There can be no repentance if one does not take responsibility for our actions that gave occasion for us to sin. Only we can repent of our own sins. For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. 2 Corinthians 7:10

Obedience to God: We are required to obey God. One can obey Him but with an impure heart. Others can force us to tow the line, and we can give lip service to God, and fool man. But this outward obedience doesn't fool God. True obedience comes from a servants' heart, a clean heart that longs for the closeness that obedience brings in our relationship between Him and us. And he did [that which was] right in the sight of the LORD, but not with a perfect heart. 2 Chronicles 25:2

Faith: Likewise faith is something one either has or hasn't got. No one can bestow faith on us. It is a very personal thing, again a matter of heart that only we can have or pray for, for even so faith is a gift from God.. But without faith [it is] impossible to please [him]: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and [that] he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Hebrews 11:6

Feeding on the Word: Whilst it is true that one can be forced to endure bible studies and gospel readings, if ones' heart is not in it, it will not bear fruit. We have to be prepared to listen... and learn. So then faith [cometh] by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. Romans 10:17

Attitude to life: No one can form the attitude we choose to take in life. We can be persuaded or forced to comply to a set way of thinking, but ultimately we take charge of how we respond to life and its joys or stresses. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh. Luke 6:45

Control of thoughts and emotions: Whilst people can encourage us to display certain emotions, we are the ones who must learn to master them. With all the above coming into play in our lives, control of thoughts and emotions are critical. Thoughts and emotions vie side by side in importance for one controls the other. For through these thoughts and emotions, attitudes are produced and if entertained, they become actions. For good or bad. Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ 2 Corinthians 10:5

We must get over the finger pointing and crying that "the devil made me do it!" and take responsibility for our own life. Accountability is both a pain and pleasure but something that we all are before the LORD. You are responsible for yourself and no one else. Let's run the race well and be responsible for ourselves!. Ourselves are ours alone to deal with! 


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.  Psalm 90:12

I couldn't live with myself


I have been grappling with writing what's on my heart lately. As a deep thinker, I ponder daily on what I feel God wants me to write about in this blog. I try to encourage and edify, but I know that sometimes what I speak of upsets some people.

As I looked at myself in the mirror today, I saw a woman whose life is spent mostly on studying the Word of God, praying and blogging in between bouts of chronic illness. It's all I can do now.

Writing's been a passion of mine for the last 30 years after three separate pastors at different services prophesied over me, saying that God has appointed me to be a spokesperson- actually the word was "mouthpiece" for Him throughout the world.

I really took this to heart and started writing Christian personalised verse and self published a book of poetry called "In Spirit And In Truth". It sold at various Christian bookstores, but somehow this didn't seem the way that I was meant to go...

With the advent of the internet, I started blogging and that and writing for various Christian magazines have become my form of service to God. As the blogs and articles circulated, I realised that that was where the "throughout the world" part of the prophecies were coming from...

Apart from obeying God by writing, I realised that I burn with the desire to see the lost being saved and that I do indeed love people. Christian or not. Coloured or not

As I combed my hair, I realised that I must write more of Christ and His offer of salvation than focus on our many illnesses and the Corona Virus. Times are short.

I know some who read may take offence, but please recall that I do so out of love and nothing personal to gain. I want you to be saved from the imminent wrath of God for people who prefer to live in their sin than to repent and serve God.

This world is getting darker and very soon Jesus will be taking the Church- His Bride, to be with Him. This is known as the Rapture and only believers will go. 

My prayer is that you will go with us and not be left on this earth which is going to be hell on earth. I need to say it, before it's too late. 

I don't want you to be offended, but saved. God doesn't want anyone to go to Hell, and neither do I. Times are short as I said and we have millenia of prophecies that have come true  to uphold this.

One must be saved or born-again to get to Heaven. Jesus is the only way and that choice must be made personally and voluntarily. Either we accept Jesus and go to Heaven, or we go to Hell.

I have written this post for those who as yet aren't born again, because if I didn't warn you, I couldn't live with myself.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8

I couldn't live with myself

 


I have been grappling with writing what's on my heart lately. As a deep thinker, I ponder daily on what I feel God wants me to write about in this blog. I try to encourage and edify, but I know that sometimes what I speak of upsets some people.

As I looked at myself in the mirror today, I saw a woman whose life is spent mostly on studying the Word of God, praying and blogging in between bouts of chronic illness. It's all I can do now.

Writing's been a passion of mine for the last 30 years after three separate pastors at different services prophesied over me, saying that God has appointed me to be a spokesperson- actually the word was "mouthpiece" for Him throughout the world.

I really took this to heart and started writing Christian personalised verse and self published a book of poetry called "In Spirit And In Truth". It sold at various Christian bookstores, but somehow this didn't seem the way that I was meant to go...

With the advent of the internet, I started blogging and that and writing for various Christian magazines have become my form of service to God. As the blogs and articles circulated, I realised that that was where the "throughout the world" part of the prophecies were coming from...

Apart from obeying God by writing, I realised that I burn with the desire to see the lost being saved and that I do indeed love people. Christian or not. Coloured or not

As I combed my hair, I realised that I must write more of Christ and His offer of salvation than focus on our many illnesses and the Corona Virus. Times are short.

I know some who read may take offence, but please recall that I do so out of love and nothing personal to gain. I want you to be saved from the imminent wrath of God for people who prefer to live in their sin than to repent and serve God.

This world is getting darker and very soon Jesus will be taking the Church- His Bride, to be with Him. This is known as the Rapture and only believers will go. 

My prayer is that you will go with us and not be left on this earth which is going to be hell on earth. I need to say it, before it's too late. 

I don't want you to be offended, but saved. God doesn't want anyone to go to Hell, and neither do I. Times are short as I said and we have millenia of prophecies that have come true  to uphold this.

One must be saved or born-again to get to Heaven. Jesus is the only way and that choice must be made personally and voluntarily. Either we accept Jesus and go to Heaven, or we go to Hell.

I have written this post for those who as yet aren't born again, because if I didn't warn you, I couldn't live with myself.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8

About this blog

Once if you were to sit with me sharing a cuppa, it wouldn’t take long before we spoke about housework being repetitious and boring….which, let’s face it: it is!  We would probably touch on the fact that we are stuck at home whilst our husbands get to be out in the world away from the monotony. Before too long, we would be having a real pity party bemoaning our lot as wives, mothers and homemakers. Once.

I say “once” because the LORD has led me through the path of Homemaker’s Discontent and has graciously deposited me in Contentment Valley. He has shown me that He has given all homemakers the choice part in life. How I regret that I didn’t realise this years ago, but later is better than never and I am grateful for the realisation that God is with me and is interested in my daily activities.

There is no secret to my realisation: it is simply having a heart change. An attitude that says that we will accept that God’s Word is true and that we will submit to Him and live our life accordingly.

To live our life as God has ordained for the Christian wife and mother, we must know what our priorities in life are. Our priorities as wives and mothers following Christ are:
  • God

  • Husband

  • Children

  • Home

  • Church
When you put God’s priorities in order, He is being served first, second, third, fourth and fifth. If you are a wife and mother, then you have your calling: you don’t have to go around looking for other callings. You have been called to serve God and to birth and raise Warriors for Him.

“Morning Cuppas With Glenys” is the name I have chosen for this blog because I love to encourage Christian women in their most precious calling. As my usual habit is to have a morning cuppa and spend time in the Word and prayer, I thought that title would be fitting...

I will be sharing my heart as an older Sister in Christ and in the spirit of Titus 2 and Proverbs 31. Generally my posts will be in the five categories of service: God, Husband, Children, Home and Church.

A lot of conservative Christian sites paint an unrealistic picture of life- they never seem to have any failures and never admit to any if they do. This is misleading to the Body of Christ. I try to be honest in my blog and believe personal transparency is crucial to helping and encouraging each other.

It is my prayer that you will catch the beauty and freedom we have in Christ by accepting our marriage, children and home as our first and most precious calling and ministry.




“See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” Ephesians 5:15-17Please note that all posts regarding members of my family or my friends are posted with their permission.

Created To Be His Helpmeet..a dangerous book.


I am a conservative, non-feminist and submissive wife. Even though there were some good things regarding bringing women back to godly principles in marriage,  I found this book very disturbing.  I had been a severely abused wife for 25 years. So from the angle of an abused wife, I would like to comment and speak up for those women too afraid or unable to speak for themselves.

Chapter 2: The ugly hillbilly woman- the first and main reason she is accounted as ‘Ugly’ by Debi Pearl, is that she is overweight! As an overweight woman, that stung! I may be overweight, but my husband and family and friends have never even intimated that I am ugly! The fact that a smile can change this “worse than regular ugly!” woman is hogwash. It takes more than a smile to change a character- though a smile does indeed help. To say that the woman became unrecognizable when she was caught scowling because she was upset at her obese daughter taking candy is a bit far-fetched (unless her husband is short-sighted or dim-witted) However, I do agree that we must cultivate a happy disposition and smile. Our husbands and family need to see that.

When I first read the letter to the desperate wife whose husband was having an emotional affair with his secretary my first response was that Mrs Pearl’s advice was wrong. Then I reconsidered and thought that there was truth in the advice that if the wife stood up for her rights (and indeed she was in the right)- and fought to win her man back, then that would be the better way to approach it than to end the marriage. I have seen marriages almost ruined by affairs become stronger than ever where the wife has stood her ground. But if the marriage fails, why does Mrs Pearl attest that “if you get another husband, he will be like your old one- cast off by some other woman”? Who is she to say that with such conviction? It is not necessarily true or a given fact!

But it is so true that you cannot force or demand your husband to love you and that he cannot be pressured to love you because you are husband and wife. But why does love come into the equation in a Christian marriage? Where are commitment, understanding, compassion, forgiveness and other Christ-like attributes like forbearance, integrity and obligation to keep the marriage vows simply because God says we must?

If one person does not want to be in a marriage, it is a sad fact of life that sometimes no matter how much the spouse who wishes to remain in the marriage tries to please the errant spouse, then the one wanting out will often leave or make it impossible to stay in the marriage by becoming violent or aggressive. Then, because of hardness of heart of the errant spouse, the prayers and efforts of the faithful spouse come to naught. Why? Because we are carnal creatures at times- both men and women. God sometimes cannot soften a heart that is turned from Him because He will not violate our free will. However,I believe if you loved your husband enough, you would fight for him. Or stay in the marriage until it was impossible to remain safely in it.

We do see a bit of the “boys will be boys” mentality in this chapter, and I have to wonder if this is biased towards men being helpless creatures bewitched under the guiles of wicked women- Jezebels all. I know that men are called to account to God for their sins and being a man who can’t control his thought life and actions is not being a godly man. It does seem that the wife is to bear the burden of blame for her husband’s sin and then take it on the chin! And smile, smile, smile through her tears!

Another sore point with me is where she says,” being pitiful, hurt, discouraged and even sickly is one side of a “bad marriage” coin. Men in general (your husband in particular), are repulsed by women who project this image. A man’s spirit tells him his woman is rejecting him manipulating him when she regularly manifests a broken spirit, and he will react in anger.”

As a woman who suffers from an illness that causes chronic pain and fatigue, I am so overjoyed to report that my husband doesn’t treat me as a faulty appliance which causes him great anger, but he cherishes me and tries to alleviate my suffering on bad days by sharing in my tasks and closing an eye to that which can’t be done on any particular day. After all, we promised to love each other in sickness and in health. Isn’t that type of commitment what God wants in marriage? So this chapter got me thanking God for the blessing of a husband who puts me first when I need it. (see Sick Wives Are Despised By Their Husbands: Debi Pearl)

Chapter 4: Thanksgiving produces joy. Whilst I can see Mrs Pearl’s point about not getting upset about the trash not being taken out, I think she is a little (much?) on the immature side when she finds screaming like that funny. IMO she is mighty fortunate to have a man who can see the funny side- especially when he has not been in the habit of taking trash out for her. And then to see her struggling week after week with the trash and not help her seems really inconsiderate to me.

Also I am uncomfortable that a woman who is teaching other women to be godly wives forgets that we are to be discreet- especially when our intimate lives are involved. It is not very discreet to almost hope that the business manager comes in and then to have a scream ready to embarrass the poor man! Yes, we are to be our husband’s playmate! I agree 100% but then I agree with the Word which clearly says: ” as a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.” Proverbs 11:22

To not care about the feelings of the business manager but in fact to entertain thoughts of him finding Mr and Mrs Pearl frolicking or worse yet, in fragrante delicto, is absolutely contrary to Scripture. We are not to be the cause of another person to stumble- apart from being very embarrassing to the staff, I am sure most of them would think Mr and Mrs Pearl extremely indiscreet and insensitive- lovemaking should be enjoyable, fun and PRIVATE!

Chapter 5: the gift of wisdom: In the beginning of this chapter, IMO Mrs Pearl is putting a great deal of pressure on the wife to be the prime force behind a successful marriage. If the marriage is not a heavenly one, it would seem in her opinion, that the wife is not submitting or being thankful and joyful. Whilst I agree that basically what she says is true, there are marriages where normal boundaries are overstepped and it is impossible to be thankful or joyful- for example after a beating or some other horrendously humiliating experience. Now it is extremely difficult if not impossible, to be thankful to and for the husband who is like this.

Marriage is a two-way street. A man is to love his wife as his own body- no man hates his own body but cherishes it (Ephesians 5:28) To completely negate this by saying that a wife should love and respect her husband regardless is OK- to a point. But what of the badly abused wife? It is impossible to be a loving responsive wife in the evening after that same man has bruised you physically and emotionally during the day. At best our body can be receptive, but our heart cannot join in with loving responses. The fear overrides all else.

I feel Mrs Pearl is totally unable to empathise with a wife who is badly abused and to add the pressure of maintaining or creating a “heavenly” marriage in such a case is not only impossible but invites the poor woman to break down emotionally or even doubt or lose her faith! Mrs Pearl is preaching the truth for the majority of marriages- but not for all!

As a woman nearly beaten to the point of death in my first marriage, I take great exception to this:(the abusive harsh husband)…”But he cannot victimize you unless you react outside of the wisdom of God.” This is such hogwash! When your jaw is dislocated or your ribs broken, it is a normal reaction to feel pain. Then to fear being hurt like that again. It is hopeful that the godly woman will turn to God in her pain and not feel rejected by Him. To even continue in a marriage like this takes more faith and obedience than Mrs Pearl will ever know personally.

I did as Mrs Pearl advocates: I held my tongue and didn’t strike back in anger. I tried not to feel sorry for myself and protected HIM from the consequences of his sin by not going to the law and telling my doctor lies about how my injuries came about. I understand what Mrs Pearl is saying but I also understand that there are some men walking so much in sin that it goes WAY BEYOND TRASH BAGS NOT BEING TAKEN OUT. Preaching like Mrs Pearl’s saw me come to the point of a nervous breakdown.

When you feel like God doesn’t intervene or care or if you leave your husband, that you are going to Hell, and are therefore trapped in a cycle of abuse that makes you vomit up everything you eat because of fear, then you have nowhere to go but down into the pit of Hell itself. I am adamant that God does care, and doesn’t want any wife to be treated in this way. But I realise that on the other side of the coin, there are many wives who will justify leaving their husbands for a minor infringement like not taking the trash out! So this chapter has to be read assuming that a marriage is not in the extreme range of violence against the woman.

I wasn’t going to get personal in my critique, but maybe some women reading this will identify and be helped by what I write! Balance, dear Sisters, balance and wisdom in ALL things! So this chapter to me is one where I nod and turn the page over!

I have made notes of other things both good and bad to comment on, but I now realise that in all honesty, the more I delve into this book, the more I find it disturbs me. There are too many things that Debi Pearl writes about that are not backed up by scripture and in other situations, I feel that she and Michael offer no real answer for those married to men who are habitually abusing their wives. I am not really well enough at the moment to write about each and every chapter, so I will make a blanket critique of this book by saying in my opinion,  the advice is often unrealistic and even dangerous- especially about keeping silent if you are a wife suffering from abuse.

My belief is that when a wife comes to the point of shedding blood or having bones broken by her husband then the authorities should be notified, her doctor should be consulted and treatment given and her pastor should be informed. I regret that I followed the “suffering in silence” method of dealing with my own physical abuse and almost ended up dying at my ex husband’s hands. To counsel women along the lines of silent suffering is not wise counsel and downright dangerous.

So in closing, I would say that I have changed my mind about recommending the book- I would caution all those who read it to keep in mind that husbands do indeed have no right before God or man to so damage their wife that she suffer real physical damage. Christian or not- the red line is crossed when a woman or child is hit enough to cause any damage.

We have many excellent books on Christian marriage that are equally good in bringing women back to remembering that they are helpmeets. IMO the Pearls book is not totally backed up in scripture and is therefore erroneous teaching and dangerous as well. I now would say that my findings are 90% rubbish and 10% good teaching. If you are in a marriage where you are not living in fear every waking moment, praise God! I am happy for you, however, I am speaking up for thousands of godly Christian Sisters who are not! They need your prayers and compassion badly- something that Debi and Michael Pearl seem to be lacking!

Here are some books that are by far better than CTBHH:
“The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective” by Martha Peace.

Leslie Vernick’s ‘How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong’

Gary Chapman: ‘The 5 Love Languages’ and ‘On the Marriage You Always Wanted.’

"The Power Of A Positive Wife” by Karol Ladd

‘Feminine Appeal: 7 Virtues of a Godly Wife’ and

‘Mother and/or Biblical Womanhood in the Home’…both written by Nancy Leigh Demoss.

Other greats include ‘Lord, Meet Me in the Laundry Room’ by Barbara Curtis as well as

‘The Mother at Home’.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks

These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so. Acts 17:11