As I have been reading and talking to people in my life who have disabilities or who struggle with chronic fatigue, this is one of the topics that seems to have the most emotion surrounding it. The reasons are many.
Some women will not admit to others or themselves that they need help.
Some women know they need help but will not ask.
Some women know and will ask but cannot find help.
Some women cannot afford to pay for help.
Some women ask for help but it makes them feel so badly that they don’t ask again.
There are various other reasons why this is an emotional topic.
So, I do realize that there are many, many reasons why women with a disability just don’t ask for help, even reasons I have not mentioned here. But I think they must ask and keep on asking til they find help, in order to have a good quality of life. If a woman puts off asking her family or her church family for help when she needs it, there will only come a day when the difficulties progress and she absolutely HAS to have someone come in immediately to work in her home. You can use your imagination, but you probably know someone or have heard of someone who has put off getting help and her home is almost unmanagable.
Get help if you need it. If you can afford to pay someone once or twice a week, go through an agency and hire someone. If not, then ask Church family or your own family to sit down with you and talk about your needs and ask for help.
If you are going to be going through Decluttering or Packing to move, you need someone to do the lifting, moving, packing and leg work. You can do the brain work til you are in need of a rest. Be sure you only work for short periods of time. Stop before you are exhausted.
Talking to your family:
Families are all different and it wouldn’t do a bit of good for me to tell you how to address your own family about your disability. But, using years of mentoring and counseling women as a pattern and guide, I can offer some suggestions before you start:
* Pray. Not just right before you talk, but for a long time before you talk to your family. Ask God to soften hearts, direct minds, give you strength and courage and help the relationships to grow stronger through this event.
* Stay calm. Don’t get upset or overexcited when you talk, especially if they refuse to help you or if they tell you they will and don’t show up to help. Stay calm, know that the Lord is your strength and help.
* Have a plan written down. Its your home, you are in charge. Know what you need and what you want from others. Write it down and make sure everyone understands it. You can make changes, take advice, but if you don’t want to change something important, think about it overnight before making the change.
As part of your written plan you should include ample time to complete the task, (it could take weeks), and supplies needed for short term projects.
* Be the manager. You are the manager of this venture, so you are in charge of managing people to get the job done. That means you may need to make phone calls to firm up (remind) appointments and give people lists of things to bring to help, like garbage bags, etc. Remember to be kind and think of the needs of others. Its easy to get that single-minded determination going and forget that you’re managing humans!
* Make sure everyone realizes that you can only work for short periods of time before resting. They can continue if you allow, but you need to rest. © 2007 Sylvia Britton of Christian HomeKeeper: used with permission
"For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee. " Isaiah 41:13
Get help if you need it. If you can afford to pay someone once or twice a week, go through an agency and hire someone. If not, then ask Church family or your own family to sit down with you and talk about your needs and ask for help.
If you are going to be going through Decluttering or Packing to move, you need someone to do the lifting, moving, packing and leg work. You can do the brain work til you are in need of a rest. Be sure you only work for short periods of time. Stop before you are exhausted.
Talking to your family:
Families are all different and it wouldn’t do a bit of good for me to tell you how to address your own family about your disability. But, using years of mentoring and counseling women as a pattern and guide, I can offer some suggestions before you start:
* Pray. Not just right before you talk, but for a long time before you talk to your family. Ask God to soften hearts, direct minds, give you strength and courage and help the relationships to grow stronger through this event.
* Stay calm. Don’t get upset or overexcited when you talk, especially if they refuse to help you or if they tell you they will and don’t show up to help. Stay calm, know that the Lord is your strength and help.
* Have a plan written down. Its your home, you are in charge. Know what you need and what you want from others. Write it down and make sure everyone understands it. You can make changes, take advice, but if you don’t want to change something important, think about it overnight before making the change.
As part of your written plan you should include ample time to complete the task, (it could take weeks), and supplies needed for short term projects.
* Be the manager. You are the manager of this venture, so you are in charge of managing people to get the job done. That means you may need to make phone calls to firm up (remind) appointments and give people lists of things to bring to help, like garbage bags, etc. Remember to be kind and think of the needs of others. Its easy to get that single-minded determination going and forget that you’re managing humans!
* Make sure everyone realizes that you can only work for short periods of time before resting. They can continue if you allow, but you need to rest. © 2007 Sylvia Britton of Christian HomeKeeper: used with permission
"For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee. " Isaiah 41:13
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Thank you for visiting with me today. I love to hear from you. I may not always be able to reply right away, but I will respond to every comment you leave. Blessings and comfort, Glenys