One of the biggest strains that I have ever placed on my marriage was the unspoken demand for my husband to be my Lord and savior. It wasn't something that I verbalised, but it was an unattainable, internal standard that I had set for him.
I expected my husband to be perfect and without fault. With this expectation came disappointment and bitterness. When the Bible alluded to the husband being "like Christ" in regards to his relationship to his wife, I took this to mean perfect. I expected the PERFECT CHRISTIAN HUSBAND.
I charged him with filling the needs and completing tasks that only the Lord could. I expected my husband to know how I was feeling even when I was to hurt and stubborn to verbalise. I expected him to know what to do to make me happy. I wanted him to meet all of my needs. I demanded that he figure out what it required to make me feel secure.
I charged him with filling the needs and completing tasks that only the Lord could. I expected my husband to know how I was feeling even when I was to hurt and stubborn to verbalise. I expected him to know what to do to make me happy. I wanted him to meet all of my needs. I demanded that he figure out what it required to make me feel secure.
This kind of thinking began to take a severe toll on the strength of my marriage. It was not until I realised that I had set up an idol. This idol was a detailed mental list of the type of husband God wanted for me. This list transformed from the type of husband God wanted for me into the type of husband I demanded that I have.
I had built an image of my husband, based upon every righteous aspect of the scripture, and then turned it into an idol of worship. If ever my husband did not meet the standards I had formulated, I would become frustrated, resentful and bitter. This showed up in my speech, behaviour and attitude.
It wasn't until God began to show me how far away I was from being a Proverbs 31 or Titus 2 wife that I finally humbled myself. It amazes me how easily something good can turn bad when we get our hands on it. Needless to say, that I stopped demanding that my husband be perfect and begun the work of allowing God to perfect me. Not only have I grown in the process, but God has moulded my husband into the perfect man for me.
I no longer worship who he could be, but I accept and encourage my husband for who he his and where he is. I let God's grace handle the rest. If you have a husband that you believe is coming up short, be prayerful, focus on the Lord and encourage your husband often. Ask God to help you focus on your husbands goodness. Allow God to use you to be the help meet he needs to become the man God predestined him to be- by Proverbs 31 Wife
Blessings, Glenys
It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man. Psalm 118:8
Well said. I was guilty of doing the same. Thanks for posting.
ReplyDeleteI did the same initially when we first married. It put an awful strain on Chris. My expectations were too high and idealistic. Thanks for taking tea me with today! Blessings, Glenys
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