It gets tiresome!

Over the last few days, I have had a cancer scare with someone dear to me, and my fibromyalgia has flared and with the pain comes that most embarrassing symptom of all: fibro fog.

I was talking on the phone to my sister, and was telling her something that had happened, but I never got to finish what I was saying. I got distracted mid-sentence and never finished the tale.

Unsure of her knowing of whom I was speaking, I digressed in a discussion on who he was, and when I tried to remember the point of discussion- I simply forgot.

Being that my sister also suffers from fibromyalgia, she understood-otherwise it would have been totally embarrassing. But there have been times in the past when I simply can't think of a word and flounder.

Like the time I was at the doctor's and was telling him something important. I simply forgot a word and there was a pregnant pause as I floundered to find it- embarrassment made it more difficult to find. He just looked over his glasses at me until I ventured to say that my fibro was flaring and this isn't usual for me. I am usually verbose.

Many times during a fibro flare, I can be reading something and it just doesn't sink in. I reread it and reread it before it is clear what I have just read. Or I can be paying the bills and have to check upteen times before I pay it to make sure I have the correct amount and I must check again to whom I am paying said correct amount. 

This coupled with the physical pain and fatigue make for a very challenging life during a fibro flare. It has the propensity to sap you of your self confidence. It can make you doubt your sanity. It can scare you to death as you worry about your competence to even run your own life at times.

I would not wish this on anyone: the pain. the fatigue. the confusion. the sapping of confidence. the insomnia. the judgments.

Many times I cannot attend church or read my Bible and I sense that there are some who think I am backsliding. Far from it. I am simply too exhausted.

All these things are a Fibromite's lot and no one seems to understand if we give in to a rare moment of snappiness or pique. It's just that the whole fibro thing with pain 24/7 gets one over it very quicky and it gets very tiresome! 

Today's to do list:

• Washing
• Clean my kitchen
• Cook chicken risotto for dinner

 

God loves the widow

 

A few of my friends have become widows. Sad as it is, it is a part of life and I feel for them, but I miss my friends' husbands too, for they were a team and I can't think of my friend without her late husband.

Having widows as friends, I often was asked why God allowed them to lose their spouses and some questioned their faith and were angry with Him. Some even thought that God was punishing them. So in order to help, I decided to do a study on how God sees the widow..

* He is protective of widows.

You have sent widows away empty, and the strength of the fatherless was crushed. Job 22:9

* He is a defender of widows.

A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy habitation. Psalm 68:5

“who devour widows’ houses, and for a pretense make long prayers. These will receive greater condemnation.” Luke 20:47

* He judges those who exploit widows.

And I will come near you for judgement; I will be a swift witness against sorcerers, against adulterers, against perjurers, against those who exploit wage earners and widows and orphans, and against those who turn away an alien— because they do not fear Me,” says the LORD of hosts. Malachi 3:5

You have sent widows away empty, and the strength of the fatherless was crushed. Job 22:9

To rob the needy of justice, and to take what is right from the poor of My people, that widows may be their prey, and that they may rob the fatherless. Isaiah 10:2

* He raised the dead because of widows.

Then Peter arose and went with them. When he had come, they brought him to the upper room. And all the widows stood by him weeping, showing the tunics and garments which Dorcas had made while she was with them. But Peter put them all out, and knelt down and prayed. And turning to the body he said, "Tabitha, arise." And she opened her eyes, and when she saw Peter she sat up. Then he gave her his hand and lifted her up; and when he had called the saints and widows, he presented her alive. Acts 9:39-41

* He honours them.

Honor widows who are really widows. 1 Timothy 5:3

* He provides for them.

Leave your fatherless children, I will preserve them alive; and let your widows trust in Me.” Jeremiah 49:11

Now in those days, when the number of the disciples was multiplying, there arose a complaint against the Hebrews by the Hellenists, because their widows were neglected in the daily distribution. Acts 6:1

* He loves them and wants the Body of Christ to love them..

Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world. James 1:27

I was glad I did the study because I was able to tell my friends that God really loves them and will be a husband to them and a Father to the fatherless...

For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is His name; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth. Isaiah 54:5

A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy habitation. Psalm 68:5

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"We Give You Thanks"

"We Give You Thanks"

Lord, as we gather at this table
May we be truly grateful
For the bounty You have given us.
We thank you for the earth and rain,
The good harvest and the wholesome grain
That went into our daily bread
And kept the stock that kept us fed.
Thank you for the hands that cooked and baked,
And for the water that our thirst slaked.
Please accept our thanks as we honour You
For Your goodness in giving us this food.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of [our] lips giving thanks to his name. Hebrews 13:15

Keep the faith by standing firm

 

There's no doubt that we are in the end times and that the world is getting darker. It is harder to be a Christian than it was even twenty years ago.

We are not being killed like our brothers and sisters in Christ overseas,  but we are in a place where our freedom of speech and freedom in general is being curtailed.

Often the butt of jokes and criticised for our faith, we are likened to children who believe in a fantasy: a God Who cares deeply for us is a stumbling block to many.

Workers can be dismissed for mentioning Jesus (although it is fine if they are using His Name as a curseword) and in some countries nurses have been dismissed for praying for a patient or simply wearing a cross around their neck...

We of all people are most misjudged and vilified by the world. When we stand up to society about matters that go against God such as same sex marriage, abortion and infanticide, we are told we are judgemental, unloving and biggotted.

What can we do? We can stand firm. Even if we can't stand physically, spiritually we stand firm. Our foundation is the Blood of Christ and His Word.

We live a life of faith and we aspire to be more Christ-like daily. We pray for ourselves, others and the world that it comes to a saving knowledge of God.

In our daily living, we stand firm in our convictions, no matter what the cost. This can be so difficult.

Shining our light in a dark world is never easy, but we must continue to shine. We must win the lost through our example, and our example should be Jesus.

Many have fallen away and backslidden. We must pray for them and pray daily for our own strength and commitment to Christ to stay firm.

It is imperative that we Christians, able bodied or not, stand firm. And we can. We have the Rock to cling to and the firm foundation of His Word. Will you keep the faith by standing firm?

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.  Matthew 10:22

It still is what it is!

You may remember me telling you that I bought a bath chair lift so that I can have a bath. I was so overjoyed when it came.

Unfortunately it didn't work out for me and I only used it twice before I sold it. It came down to awkward plumbing and knees that don't work anymore. 

To say I was disappointed would be an understatement, not only disappointment that I couldn't bathe but also for the fact that it cost me $870AUD.

It was still immaculate and under warranty so I decided to sell it. I did after a couple of weeks, but I sold it for only $400AUD with ebay fees of $53.90 so I didn't make much back on it. 

On the bright side though, I did find that the shower in the main bathroom has an easier accessible shower stall and better water pressure than the ensuite one. 

And speaking of showering, I have purposed to have it at night now due to my spoons being scarce with my latest fibromyalgia flare. It doesn't matter so much if I run out of spoons if I am on my way to bed anyway.

Victoria has been experiencing very wild weather with lots of rain and thunderstorms. The pain in my joints and muscles gets too much to bear at times and I find I am needing to take a Tramadol some days.

 I haven't been spending much time on the computer for this reason as Tramadol makes me feel spaced out and I can't focus to write properly. Like everything to do with fibromyalgia, it's a tough task master and a tyrant, but it is what it is! 

He's faithful and good

When  my first  child was  born he  was  coming face  upwards.  The  forceps damaged  his eye which  looked normal but was nearly sightless. I lived in constant fear that his good eye would be damaged.

His father didn't want him to be wrapped in cotton wool and we went every Saturday to watch our son play Australian Rules Football which can be quite rough. The whole time he played, I prayed. The fear was great as players fell all over him. I hated it.

Eventually after the birth of his own third child, he had wet the baby's head too well and crashed into a lamp pole, damaging his good eye on the airbag. I was called to the hospital at 3am and had to drive him to Melbourne Ear Nose and Throat Hospital in the dark.

I had to stop every half an hour and fill his eye with drops to control the pressure in the eyeball. His eye chamber was full of blood, called an hyphema. Not a confidant driver, especially in busy cities and at night, I cried out to the LORD the whole way there and back home. It was so difficult with my son terrified of sitting there blind and it was my worst nightmare come true. 

He stayed with us and I nursed him, administering drops of different kinds and making sure he never laid down because of the hyphema spreading if he did. I took him to opthamologists for weeks until the hyphema was absorbed. As it absorbed, the vision improved. Fourteen years later it is completely healed and has had no bad after effects. 

This was absolutely one of the most horrid of times and testing of my trust in God and my faith. Yes- it was something I just had to do at the time, but I pray I will never go through that trial again. But God was faithful. And good. 

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks

Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.  Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8:26-27

“Little Angels”

On wings of love we laid you down, 

Wrapped moonbeams round your sides, 

We dimmed the light of distant stars 

And sang you lullabies. 

We lingered round your cradle 

As we gazed at you in awe- 

To us you were as angels 

Too perfect for this world. 

You must have dreamt of Heaven 

For you decided not to stay, 

The angels came and took you 

On the clouds on which you lay. 

Now Jesus gently rocks you 

In His strong and gentle arms, 

We know now, little angels, 

You are safe from any harm… 

Lord, lay them down in a cradle of gold, 

Tuck rainbows round their sides, 

Cover them with Your angels’ wings 

And if they ever cry- 

Tell them Mum and Dad are coming 

Just as soon as they awake- 

Please kiss our little angels, Lord 

And love them in our place.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 18:10 

For Sarah and Ruth born sleeping 12 November 1969

Right where she loves to be!

Our white cat, Xena loves being near me. She always follows me around and sleeps with me as well. I guess she's her mother's girl.

She can be a bit jealous though. When Chris comes in to say goodnight and tuck me in and he always gets greeted with "nooooo!" from her. Especially when he kisses me. For that, she always gets up and comes to me, rubbing my hand or licking it.

Whenever we sit on the couch watching TV together, Xena jumps up and wiggles her way between us. We find it endearing and amusing.

Recently we got a new desk for my study nook and there's plenty of room for her favourite daytime sleep- her igloo. So knowing how close she loves to be- usually lying over my keyboard as I try to type- I put her igloo up on the desk in the corner, very close to me. She loves it!

We both love this house and feel really nurtured here. And so does Xena- and why not?- she's right where she loves to be! 

Giving the gift of time well spent

As most of you who follow my blogs know, Chris and I not enjoying the best of health. We both are currently battling heart failure, diabetes and obesity brought on by the inactivity that comes with pain and age.

Gradually as the maladies make themselves more known and felt, we are aware that we probably won't make it to our 80th year.

Lately we have written a will and talked to our adult children of our final wishes. Unable to bear being apart, we have decided that we both want to be buried together, and to this end, we are currently getting information about prepaid funerals and plots of land at our local cemetery.

We have discussed Do not rescusitate orders and made our wishes known to our children. They were hesitant to talk about these matters, but we assured them that we need to sort it out, afterwhich we won't talk about it.

My stents in my heart are 15 years old and I am told I need new ones inserted, but I have refused  them as the previous 2 angiograms injured me. I simply don't want to have more surgery.  

Chris and I have made the choice that there won't be any more harmful surgeries. If I have a bad heart attack I do not want to be rescusitated.

I am ready for Jesus to either take me in the Rapture or call me Home. Either way is OK.

Chris is in really bad health with his own heart failure. I am aware of how little time we may have and I don't want to waste it.

So I am on the computer about an hour instead of all day. I have culled most groups etc but have not culled my friends.

Chris promised me he will update if I go Home. We just cant bear any more hospitals and tests etc- especially when they have done me harm in the past.

I am trusting the LORD instead of man and for the one who is left behind, we are giving the gift of time well spent.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints. Psalm 116:15

Silly season's begun already!

 

This year because we finally have a larger home, I am hosting Christmas Day lunch. As always, I need to plan and pace myself because of my chronic fatigue, so I am looking into buying my foods and gifts early.

I know I am going to have a fibromyalgia flare by Boxing Day, but it will be worth it to have some good memories. Sometimes you just have to push yourself or you never do anything. I am looking forward to it! But to minimise any major flare after Christmas and leading up to it, I am planning already!

Last weekend our 10 year old granddaughter Taylah came and she loves Christmas and decorating, so we gave her the tree and decorations and told her if she wants, she can decorate it. She wanted to!

So except for Grandpa Chris holding her to place the star, she did it all by herself. We think she did a sterling job!

To be honest, if we weren't hosting lunch this year, we probably wouldn't be bothered with the tree but with family coming, it seemed worth the effort. So the tree is up albeit early. With both of us feeling under the weather, and with a little willing helper, it is cheerful and jolly. And good timing!

Taylah placed the solar lights so that the tree turns on at dusk and turns off at dawn. So there's no upkeep and even though the tree is minimalist by most standards, it still heralds in the festive season.

All we have left to do for decorating is putting the wreath on the front door, but it seems a little too soon to go public yet and let everyone know that at Hicks' House, the silly season's begun already!

Let your bed lamp shine

We recently talked about wanting to serve the LORD from where we are at: usually for us it's from our bed or recliner. 

But being faithful and serving God has nothing to do with our state of health. It's a state of heart.  The desire for godliness and holiness should still be there regardless of chronic illness.

I have found that the majority of sick Christians still want to serve God but feel that they have nothing to offer Him. They feel they cannot serve because of physical limitations.

This is not true. A faithful servant of God is one who loves God with her whole heart. She turns to Him for her daily survival in a physical world full of tribulation. And she longs to be used of her LORD.

The good news is: we can still be used of the LORD.  

With physical limitations comes more time on our hands, time that can be used to influence others. 

This influence can be from the confines of our bedroom, hospital room, wheel chair, walker, or doctors' waiting room. We can bring Jesus into the same places others occupy. 

When  we walk through the door even while leaning on a walking stick or crutches, we can still bring Jesus to others. Make no mistake, they will be watching.

Pray for opportunities to talk about Christ and the hope that is within you.  Be a blessing by being aglow with the Spirit and let others see that you indeed have Something that they want! 

If we can show that in spite of our outward appearance, we have Something worth having, people will be attracted to us regardless.  

Over the years, I have been in hospital- in traction for two weeks at a time, and I made an effort to pray for the nurses, cleaners, people who came with meals, physiotherapists and people who shared a room with me. 

Goodness knows, I had plenty of time to pray.  And though my prayers were for the most part silent, I believe that people responded to them without even knowing it.  They liked being around me. But it was the Holy Spirit that was the attractive part.  And He made me  smile so much that I was nicknamed "Smiley"

So,  you can sow seeds wherever you go- however you get there. And if you no longer leave your home for appointments or whatever, you can still hold people up in prayer from your home.

Bed is a wonderful place to pray and prayer is the best way you can serve God.  Prayer opens up doors for opportunity to grow, to trust, to care, to love and to find paths to witness for Christ. Service is totally possible. 

Nowhere in life is there a place where you cannot serve God by praying.  So start worshiping and praying Blanket Prayers  if you are bed bound, and read or listen to the Word.   You can always do something for Jesus.  

Let your bed lamp shine! 

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks

Do not neglect the spiritual gift that is in you. 1 Timothy 4:14a 

It's coming together!

 

As I told you, I have been trying to get my home back after our move, and so I have also been decluttering. I have given away quite a few things that I found were only taking up space without bringing me joy.

It was hard to give away some things that were my mother's but I bit the bullet and did it. The recipient was so happy that it made me feel good to have been able to bless her!

I put into action Sarah's organic cleaning and threw out those clothes I don't like or fit in to any more, as I hung up clean clothes that had been sitting around for too long! I bought some storage boxes and put sorted underwear and night clothes in them.

That did create some dust but I didn't worry as I have a robotic vacuum. I highly recommend to all Sacrificial Home Keepers that they get a robotic vacuum- preferably one that mops as well as vacuums. They are coming down in price but I assure you, they are worth every cent!

Small steps for sure, especially for those who are healthy, but climbing a mountain to us chronically ill. I am inordinately pleased with what I have accomplished so far! It's coming together, here a little, there a little!