Big Brother has got us covered

My twin sister has lupus but she has no mental impairment with it. The other day, she received a letter from the Australian Government body called Aged Care. They informed her that she was to attend a meeting of a panel of health care professionals who would discuss her ability to stay in her own home. The final decision would be taken by them and not including her, and would involve her moving into a nursing home. This in spite of sharing a home with my son as her carer.

Shocked, she rang them and said not to bother. She didn't want their help. I am also getting Home Help from the same Body and I rang to cancel my records with them. They said they could make my record inactive which meant no one can access them, but as they became property of the Commonwealth of Australia, they couldn't be deleted.

I got them to make mine and Chris's records with Aged Care inactive and my sister did the same. It means that I no longer am eligible for Home Help and I am now paying privately to have a cleaner once a fortnight. It is a small price to pay in my opinion.

We cannot get over the high handed methods used by the Australian government in denying a client in their Aged Care plan their right to make decisions in their own life when there are no problems with that client's acuity.

When important decisions have to be made, Chris and I will consider all our options and cover it in prayer for guidance. We will not let some strangers take it out of our hands.

Sadly, Australia is now becoming an authoritarian regime and Big Brother has got us covered.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone. Psalm 71.9

My new wheels

                                               

So if you have read on my other blog, I am now wheel-chair bound. I am relieved that I have an easier method of transportation and that it will be easier for Chris to push, but I am also sad that my life has come to this.

So, the MRI results are in. I have a meniscus tear, fabella, torn posterior crucius ligament, bursitis and osteo arthritis behind the patella. It needs surgery as it does not repair itself.

I am to see an orthopaedic surgeon and meanwhile I must rest the knee and use pain killers. 

We have bought a shower chair and a wheelchair. I have had Chris push me on the seat of my walker, but it is a big strain on his heart and I worry about him. 

It is difficult to focus enough to write at the moment and I spend a lot of time on the couch aka the beach, or in bed with my electric blanket.

I am just able to stand enough to wash some dishes, cook a meal and stack the washer and dryer. Chris helps sometimes and has been my legs.

I am making use of the slow cooker a lot, cooking the meals as I am able to stand.

As with all new health issues, I am trying to come to terms with this "new normal" and the constant struggles with fibromyalgia are now "normal" and this new challenge is calling for all my ability to accept my new lot in chronic illness.

I am disheartened that both my knees have now given way (I have a torn meniscus in my other knee), and am trying to feel grateful that I could afford a wheelchair. Thank goodness for afterpay.

I am trying to be thankful for my new wheels, and I am also trying to give this new situation over to the LORD. I guess it's all a part of grieving what I have lost and accepting it, and not giving way to self-pity. It's hard.

However romantic a picture I can find really doesn't cut it for me as I struggle to accept that I am now wheelchair bound, and instead of a new car, a wheelchair is my new wheels.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 76:26

When you're hanging on by a thread

We chronically ill women always have times when we feel that we are barely holding it all together. We are literally becoming unravelled and we feel like we are hanging on by a thread.

Flares, unrelenting pain, immeasurable fatigue, depression and lack of restorative sleep can all add to the feeling that we can't go on. Even breathing seems like an effort.

It is in those times that we must reach out to God and ask Him to give us the strength to get through each day- or especially the night which seems the longest when we long to sleep but can't.

We need to try to listen to the Word or put on some Christian worship music, and give ourselves over to relaxing as much as is possible for someone in the grip of pain or depression. But we have to focus on something positive, or else we will be getting a one way to the Pit of Despair. We don't want to go there.

By focusing on something positive, we can actually release endorphins, those chemicals that reduce pain and increase a feeling of well-being. 

Reaching out to God during these times is critical to our staying in control emotionally. But we must do it, in faith.

If the woman with the issue of blood hadn't reached out to Jesus by touching the hem of His garment, she would not have been healed.

I am not necessarily saying that you will get healed, even though it is possible of course. But you will be lifted up to a higher level of coping with it all.

Worship and praising God whilst suffering is the most exquisitely beautiful act of trust and reverence. It will lift us up and set the enemy of our souls to flight.

So, next time you are feeling you are hanging by a thread, make sure it's the hem of Christ's garment.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

And suddenly, a woman who had a flow of blood for twelve years came from behind and touched the hem of His garment. Matthew 9.20

A moment of truth

As a young mother with 4 children under 5, I often felt woefully inadequate as a housewife and a mother. It wasn’t because I wasn’t trying to excel at these things, it was just my perception of myself. There never seemed enough hours in the day to accomplish what had to be done and I often felt frustrated with myself. This changed dramatically one day when I was taken to my friend’s sister-in-law’s house.

It was about 1 pm, when we arrived and although we had been invited to come for a visit, we were appalled by the lack of cleanliness, the untidiness and the obvious squalor around us. But what horrified us most was my friend’s 12 month old nephew standing in a dirty cot, soiled nappy and ragged singlet, crying and flushed whilst his mother sat unperturbed reading in the dust covered living room.

My friend immediately swooped on her nephew and comforted him. She inquired of his mother if he was hungry- she replied that she had given him a bottle in the morning. We looked in the cot and there was an empty feeding bottle complete with flies on the teat. We felt revolted. The unmistakable odour of the soiled nappy was overwhelming and when my friend took it off to change the little fellow, it revealed red blistered welts where his nappy had been. Immediately the child was given a warm bath and his nappy rash was plastered in Vaseline- there wasn’t anything else in the house for it.

All the time, the child’s mother kept reading, seemingly oblivious to us. It was very disconcerting. We opened the fridge to get something for the little boy and it was growing all types of green mould. The milk was out of date. The pantry was under stocked to say the least, and all we could rustle up for the baby was an egg in bread crumbs. He was starving and we were angry and sad.

My friend rinsed out the soiled nappy and singlet and opened the lid of the washer. We exchanged shocked glances as the rancid smell of half washed clothes met our nostrils. As the clothes were going mouldy, we presumed they had been there a long time. And there was no excuse for this laziness, because the child’s father had bought his fiancee a new washing machine during the pregnancy.

That day, I learnt a lot about myself. I learnt that I was too hard on myself, too perfectionistic and unrealistic. My children and home were never even on a really bad day, as bad as that. I learnt that I was not lazy, incompetent, or backward- I was exhausted and overwhelmed. Not so with this girl!

What was wrong with this girl? She only wanted to do what she liked doing- reading. That was what consumed her time and life- books. Not her little boy or her impending marriage, (which didn’t take place fortunately) but just her desires were her life. She could not see anything wrong in that. And she was a very well read and quite intelligent woman. She was to come to see that it did matter indeed.

She told my friend’s brother when it all came crashing around her ears, that she didn’t want to have to keep the house clean, look after her baby and tend to his needs. She wasn’t harming anybody by reading and she couldn’t see what the fuss was about. We were incredulous that someone could be so self-centered and unenlightened about life. And totally indifferent to her child- not even a toy was in his cot the day we visited!

The washing would get done- eventually. The child would be fed- eventually. He would be taken to the doctor when he was suffering earache- eventually- but not before repeated ear infections made him deaf in one ear.

I couldn’t help but see the contrast between the Proverbs 31 woman and her. And I certainly wasn't evenly remotely close to this selfish woman. So I lightened up and relaxed a bit. I stopped being over perfectionistic and settled for a balanced approach. I enjoyed my children more. And I made sure that I never put off doing something just because I didn’t feel like doing it.

Now whenever I see a well-kept baby,  I always remember another one- a sad, hungry and dirty little baby boy with a mop of blonde curls and a dirty nappy. And I thank God that He gave him into his Daddy’s caring hands.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Ecclesiastes 10:18 “By much slothfulness the building decayeth; and through idleness of the hands the house droppeth through,"

Change often takes time

Just because you are still overcoming your sin doesn't mean you are in sin... you have repented and are forgiven and striving to overcome sin.

For example, I am trying to overcome overeating and I want to lose weight not only for my health, but to please God and serve Him better than I do now, dragging 100lbs of extra weight around.

Gluttony is a sin, and I have repented of overeating, especially comfort foods when I am upset. Now, I go straight to the LORD when I am upset, instead of eating. But even though my spirit has come into submission and I am living right, my body is proving rebellious and slow to come into line. 

Does that mean that I am still a glutton? NO. I am just experiencing the depth of slow metabolism coupled with illness and inability to move much to burn off calories. In God's sight, I no longer am a glutton nor someone that gluttony has mastered. I have mastered it, but it is a spiritual battle wherein the physical still has to submit.

Change can take time and is subject to many influencing factors. For example, in changing a house hold routine and disciplining yourself to do more housework, you may have many outside distractions- most unavoidable but necessary, that chip into your plans and time table. Or you may become ill. But if you persist and work toward change, eventually you will succeed.

Old habits sometimes take time to change, but they can change! It is not immediately obvious either. Take trying to stop using unsavoury language. Years of using certain words never bothered you, but God has convicted you about your speech and you have repented and responded. 

Suddenly, one of those expletives bursts forth and you find yourself discouraged. But take heart and don't give up on your resolve. It is like a path in a field. By walking in the same place over and over, you find it has become a path and is easier to walk. So it is with changing bad habits and being victorious over any sin. You will overcome in time.

Change can take time and calls for patience. Take planting some fruit trees for instance...you may not see any fruit on your tree, but there is still change and growth. Eventually if you persist in your desire and efforts to change, you will see buds of growth. Eventually there will be fruitful blossoms and then there will be fruit! Continue in your path of change and don't let yourself become discouraged!

I believe a person can change in a grand way if she or he so wishes. With repentance, the right attitude and prayer, we can do it! But remember, change often takes time.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:7

Dead or alive

I have had some times in my life where I have thought I would die. Surgeries for my heart, illnesses wherein I couldn't breathe, and an incorrect diagnosis of a terminal illness have seen me glimpsing death and had me question if I am ready to be with the LORD.

In facing death a few times, I have experienced immense peace in knowing that Christ has me in the Palm of His Hand and that should He call me Home to Him, that it would be instantaneous. 

Alive or not, we are His. We belong to the LORD Who also numbers our days. It is a great comfort to remember that when my health continues to fail. 

I am afraid of the manner in which I will die, but not of death per se. I have been the LORD's since before my birth and I will be even after my last breath.

His sacrifice has paved the way for us to not be afraid of Hell or with dying. We are forever His as soon as we accept Him as LORD and Saviour.

So in keeping with that, we do not have to fear world events either as we await for Jesus to come back for us. The Rapture will be instantaneous,  should He take us Home with Him through that means.

Let us not give in to fear with current events and pandemics, but live in peace and security. That security and peaceful assurance is yours too, if you accept Christ as your Saviour.

 We are loved by God and are His Children forever. Eternally His. Instantly. Dead or alive.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s. Romans 14:8

Drowning in fear?

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16   Click here to become a Christian 

Don't give up hope!

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.  Psalms 42:5

Do you feel hopeless? Well you may because this world isn't going back to normal. This world is over But theres hope! Its in a Saviour #Jesus who gave His life for us. Believe in Him & you will live forever. Accept Him & live! He's our #Hope. our joy. our future.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16   Click here to become a Christian 

I am not "normal"

We chronically ill women try so hard to do "normal" things. Like look well. Be cheerful. Be patient. Kind. Hospitable.

Our family and marriage are our first priority after God. We try so hard to spin our wheel not fast- but at a "normal" pace. By "normal", we compare ourselves to those who do not suffer from chronic illness and pain. Or are disabled.

We are very careful to keep serving our family but sometimes with the illness that afflicts us: we fail. This often gets to us and causes us to sink into depression.

Being unable to process that we simply can't act as "normals", we often berate ourselves and sink into the Pit of Despair. 

We are often judged by "normal" standards, as we simply cannot attend certain social functions like before. If we do, the pain and effort can make us tense and we can make us appear moody unsociable grumps aka the death head at the feast. 

If only "normals" would realise that we are pushing ourselves every day to live a life that not even closely is "normal" like in the days before our health failed. We get so adept at doing this, that we have become quite good at wearing masks to cover the Mask Of Pain. Hence the appearance of being in a mood. 

My fibromyalgia and other health issues have now made it impossible for me to disguise, and I have learned to acknowledge this to people and tell them in advance that my attendance or action or whatever is totally subject to how I am on any given day.

Basically, I have had to pander to angina, spinal problems, fibromyalgia, polymyalgia rheumatica, and submit to tyrannical spoons by being totally flexible about my appointments and so on.

People may still misjudge me but that is not my problem. I just pray that the LORD will allow them to see that I am not lazy or unsociable, but am just a chronically ill woman who finds just breathing some days enough effort.

The LORD knows I am not well, but people take a lot more convincing. I am not "normal".

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks    

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;  Colossians 3:12

We are faithful

Chronic illness can make us feel that we are incapable of many things. That can be true of physical things which for most of us who are ill or disabled, are now incapable of doing. But all is not lost as there are still things which are eternal that we can do. 

We are told to pray without ceasing and prayer is something we can manage to do. Albeit in a different way to the "normals'" prayers, our disjointed or mumbled prayers are still as powerful and effective.

Just because we are sitting in our recliners, or in our bed, or sitting on a shower chair, in our wheelchair or resting on the seat of our walker- the fervent prayers we offer will reach the Ears of Him Who we serve. 

We must never let the lies of the evil one cause us to doubt ourselves and then have us not pray at all. We are never wasting our life when we pray. God does not class prayers according to the pray-ers' surroundings. 

Goodness knows, we have heard of soldiers praying in the trenches under fire and imminent death. No, our prayers are of equal importance to God. Our prayers will drive the enemy away and cause him to tremble, because he knows wherever we pray is holy ground. Satan doesn't care about where or even how they are prayed. He hates the fact that we still pray. 

Faithfulness is something chronic illness can't take away from us. No matter how hard the enemy tries to convince us that we are wasting our lives, we know he is just using wily and cunning ways to get us to stop praying and therefore serving God. 

The prayers of the chronically ill are precious to the LORD, for He knows the battles we face just to be "normal". But we are more than "normal" as we come against illness and serve Him regardless. 

Chronic illness will try to wipe us out physically, emotionally and spiritually if it can: but one thing we sufferers are is not only resilient: we are faithful. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks 

Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8:26-27

He knows the peddling has just begun

I think as parents, our children will always be children in many ways. We yearn to help them, we cry with them and for them, and we often would wish we could take a burden off them if we could. 

Similarly, I believe we are always God's child and He yearns for us and longs to help us. It is comforting to know that God is a good Father Who always loves us and has our back! Also, unlike our earthly father, He is perfect in His love and care of His children.

As any good parent would do, God allows challenges, grief and even suffering to mould us and give us character. It is often in these times that we find that He is there right beside us, encouraging and protecting us, and teaching us to trust Him.

It sure is comforting too, to know that no matter how many times we fall or fail Him, that He is there with His arms extended to us, waiting to forgive and comfort us. His Grace is deeper than our sin. His Love is tender and His Heart is kind. 

It certainly would be good if we didn't have trials to mature us, and we had Father God there to bless us and protect us constantly, but alas, we would not progress very far. We move forward and cannot exist on milk  forever, but we must eat meat. Eventually, our training wheels have to come off!

It is then that we gain confidence in God, and in our witness. I can just picture Father God smiling proudly as He watches us eventually have our training wheels removed and start to wobble through life towards Home; He knows that the peddling has just begun... 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Even to your old age, I am He, And even to gray hairs I will carry you! I have made, and I will bear; Even I will carry, and will deliver you. Isaiah 46

Don't be a busy body!

I have noticed all the pictures of Warrior Princesses for Christ and I have even posted some. My thoughts are that even though we are told to put on the armour of God, it is not to go off  purposely slaying giants but it is to protect ourselves in our daily walk. 

A lot of people seem to think that they must literally go out looking for battles in order to be walking in the Spirit. God Himself has said that we will have tribulations in the world. For this reason we must put on the armour of God. But He doesn't expect us to abandon our homes, children or jobs seeking outside ministries so that they're neglected.

We face enough problems in life to necessitate putting on the armour as a daily practice, but the thought behind these masculinised women images makes me cringe. It evokes a different theme than what  was intended when we are told to put on the armour...

There are plenty of occasions where we will have to fight for what we believe, and for keeping our own thoughts in the captivity of Christ, and avoiding temptations to sin and for defending ourselves and others from evil.

I don't believe that we have to go out on a crusade looking for "missions". We are called to be a people of peace, not busybodies, but keepers of our home and family...

I think too for some of us who suffer from chronic illness and daily struggle in that, that we should really be relieved to know that we don't have to battle every single battle here or in the heavenly realm on a moment by moment basis. 

Girding up with the armour should be a practice we use daily for our own protection but it is not an automatic requirement that we seek out trouble that really has nothing to do with us... we are called to live our own lives in quietness and not to be busybodies...

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

..that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, 1 Thessalonians 4:11