Morning Cuppas With Glenys

Silent wings

As you probably know, Chris and I have been married before. He was deserted as she went with her boss, and I was severely abused. The emotional pain of separation and divorce took its' toll on us, especially as they both were long marriages..

We never really achieved true bonding with our first spouses (because they didn't love us), but twenty-seven years after our marrying, we are still amazed at the depth of intimacy in our marriage. We guard our marriage and both of us believe it is our first priority after God...

Our marriage must be our first priority after God for like any relationship, it can slowly die off if not tended. It is like air from a tyre: a slow leak can eventually do as much damage as a blow out!

We love a particular song by Tina Turner called On Silent Wings. It describes exactly what can happen in a marriage that is not tended... We never want to find ourselves in a loveless marriage again and we purposely cultivate intimacy- and I am not talking only of sex, even though it is important to enhance it. I am talking of spiritual bonding, cleaving and longing for each other... the hallmark of a successful marriage...

Becoming one is God's plan for marriage, and cleaving to each other is critical to its' survival. Today with so many things pulling us away from home, it is easy to become complacent about our marriage and eventually it can fizzle out.

"Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Ephesians 5:33

Of all things in this world, attending to our marriage is critical. It deserves our best effort because not only has God ordained it, but our family and home depend on it. Marriage is the foundation of civilisation .... let's make sure ours is a good one with no silent wings...

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24

Not just a bump on a log

When I was a young mother of four children under five, I was struck down with glandular fever that lasted for a full six months.

As you can imagine, with an illness lasting that long, I was often alone to manage as my then husband had to work and my mother lived far away. It was a long and difficult time that made me feel like I was just a bump on a log.

This wasn't true in fact because out of necessity, I found ways to run my household and look after my children unassisted and mostly from my bed. But not being able to get up for more than thirty minutes at a time without collapsing from fatigue made me feel useless.

In the morning no matter how exhausted I felt, I rose and got my oldest child off to school with my neighbour picking him up and dropping him off. I bathed my youngest babies and dressed and fed them then put a load of washing on. I took something out of the freezer for dinner. Then I staggered back to bed, a perspiring mess!

My four year old daughter lifted her siblings up onto the bed where I read stories to them, often falling to sleep with the book over my face and finding the children in the lounge room watching cartoons.

Sometime later, I arose again to change nappies and give them a snack or a bottle. I would put that finished load of washing into the dryer and set it going to dry. I would organise some play activities and would lie on the couch watching my little ones building a house with lego blocks. Then I would fall asleep again, drenched in sweat.

I was told to rest in order to kick the glandular fever, but as any chronically ill mother will tell you, that usually means that she does her home duties in her dressing gown or house coat. Her version of rest.

My husband would cook tea, following my instructions on what to cook and sometimes even how to cook it. If I felt well enough, I would bath our school age child to save his father the chore and then I would take a quick shower. It left me even more exhausted, but with glandular fever, one is bathed in sweat all the time and it is necessary to shower daily even when tired.

Finally the fever left me, but over the years I was troubled with Sheurmann's disease, a disease which ate the discs in my back and would have caused severe scoliosis, if not for enforced bed rest after a two week ordeal in hospital in traction, many times over the years.

I learned to plan my grocery shop, organise payment of my bills, delegate household chores, help with homework, listen to school readers, and be there for my growing children all from my bed. It was easy to think of myself as useless like a bump on a log, but in actual fact, I was anything but.

Chronic illness can take away many things from us, but don't let it take away your confidence in being mistress of your home. You will find that running your household from your bed is in fact possible, and proves that we are no bumps on logs.

Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. 3 John 1:2

No honour when honesty goes out the window!

So as you know, my husband Chris has been in hospital recently. In ED he had various tests and later on an MRI to find out why his eyes are crossed.

After 4 days in hospital, he was given an MRI. This was done late Friday afternoon and we knew there would be no answers of the results until Monday.

All Monday we waited for the MRI results. But each time we were told the report had not been written up and they were just waiting for that to happen and then Chris would be discharged

During the day Chris was seen by many medical people who all told us they didn't know what the MRI showed. This was later proven to be a lie.

Around midday a pharmacist in the hospital came in to see Chris. She was going through his list of new medications to prepare for his discharge.

She explained that he was to start on a new statin which was triple the dosage of what he had taken before. She added that this was necessary to make sure that he didn't have another stroke.

Straight away I interjected, "Are you saying that he has had a stroke?!" She spluttered and said she didn't know as she hadn't seen the MRI report! Later that day, the discharging doctor came in to tell us that he had had a stroke in his cerebellum.

It was not a bleed but a blockage caused by plaque from his high cholesterol. I knew then that they had lied to us and had seen the MRI hours before we were told. I was livid!

Whilst delighted that Chris was coming home, I was angry that the pharmacist and doctors had lied to us. When one's very life is in the hospital's hand and knowing how anxious a time it was, we never thought for a minute that we would be lied to.

As a Christian, I value truth. In fact, lying or being lied to is anathema to me. If our word isn't true, how can we trust someone? on what do we place our judgement? how can one have confidence in a liar?

Once one has been found out to be a liar, the basis for trust and confidence is gone. Furthermore, if someone is known to worship the LORD Who is Truth, how can He be honoured by His followers telling untruths?

Lying is a serious thing, for there is no honour when honesty goes out the window!

‘Lord, who may abide in your tabernacle? Who may dwell in your holy hill? He who walks uprightly, and works righteousness, and speaks the truth in his heart; He who does not backbite with his tongue, nor does evil to his neighbour, not does he take up a reproach against his friend; in whose eyes a vile person is despised, but he honours those who fear the LORD. He who swears to his own hurt and does not change; he who does not put out his money at usury, nor does he take a bribe against the innocent, he who does these things shall never be moved’. Psalm 15.

Another chance at life together

So we were watching TV together when I noticed Chris was shutting one eye and then the other. Then he told me he had a really bad headache.

I gave him some paracetamol and he fell asleep on the couch after taking it.

A day or two afterward, he was looking at me and I noticed his left eye was turning in. That's when the double vision came into play...

After putting up with it for a week, Chris decided it wasn't getting better, so we went to the ED.

They noticed his right eye stares straight ahead, making the left eye turn like it should, but causing double vision which made him feel nauseous.

They noticed his blood pressure was quite high and started him on more medication for it. They ordered a Cat Scan on his head and admitted him.

The CT scan showed no abnormalities, so they followed up with a MRI which did. Chris had had a stroke in his cerebellum.

It was not a bleed but rather a blockage, and they believe this caused his double vision known as Cranial sixth nerve palsy. They don't know if it will be permanent or not.

They are treating his blood pressure, upping his insulin for the diabetes and putting him on aspirin as a blood thinner, as well as giving him statins for his high cholesterol.

He will be treated by patching one eye to avoid double vision and taking the aforementioned medications. This will be punctuated with GP visits, physiotherapy visits for eye exercises, endocrinologist and neurologist.

My fibromyalgia has flared as I am exhausted. I stayed everyday of his week long hospital stay from 10-7pm. The weather was changing all the time as we are in our spring and I have had angina because the stress was mind numbing..

We are so grateful that the stroke wasn't worse and we are praying believing that the eye nerve damage will sort itself out. Also we are praying that he doesn't have another stroke.

Mostly we thank the LORD for another chance at life together..

Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him. With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation. -Psalm 91:14-16

Your precious wings of freedom!

So recently we have been praying for a family member who has just undergone a transplant surgery. Due to privacy issues, I am unable to disclose anything further.

I can disclose that this surgery carries enormous risks. During and especially after, there are dangers such as organ rejection and infection.

Chris and I have been praying with my family that this life saving surgery be successful. So far, so good. Apparently the first 48 hours are critical in regards of organ rejection.. It's been nearly that now.

As is our custom, we prayed a prayer of thanks for the successful operation and also for ongoing recovery with no rejection etc.

It was during such prayer that we realised that in order for our family member to have another chance of life, someone had to die to donate the organs to give that other chance.

We prayed a prayer of thanks to God for putting it in to someone's heart to be an organ donor. We also prayed for that person and his or her family as they grieve their passing.

It is a sobering thought... waiting in quiet desperation for someone to die so that another may live. There are so few organ donors out there and the list of needy people far outgrows the list of donors.

I have considered becoming an organ donor, however my state of health makes me ineligible to donate.

Chris and I are grateful for whoever donated their precious organs. What a selfless act of love.

It is almost as if they were saying, "I will have no use for these wings now, for I will have the greatest of freedom."

So we now say with grateful reverence, "Thank you for this gift!" And we bow our heads as our loved one also gratefully accepts them-and thank you for your precious wings of freedom!

Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD. Psalm 31:24

The litany of everyday life

An encouraging excerpt from: Margret Kim Peterson.

"God is the creator and has given [us the] privilege of imitating and participating in God’s work as creator.

God ... started with chaos and ended with a...beautiful universe.

Housework is all about bringing order out of chaos.

That heap of damply repulsive clothes on the bathroom floor turns into stacks of neatly folded clean laundry in a matter of hours...

a table piled high with junk mail, school papers, and forgotten socks turns into a table neatly set for a meal...

a sack of potatoes ...turns into a dish of mashed potatoes ...

Housework is never "done" in the same sense ... that God's providential involvement in the world is never done." (End of excerpts)

To sum up: We keep house because we love our families. And we won't be all done today. We will wake up again tomorrow, and receive the gift of another day, and the privilege again, of honorable work to fill our hands. We take care of our families, who love and appreciate us in return.

True, some things are more fun to do than others. Making cookies may be more fun than cleaning toilets. But we still clean the toilet. And we don't fall into self pity over it. We even make a game out of it, and it actually can be fun.

After all, every person on earth has parts of their job that are unpleasant and would be avoided if possible.

As homemakers, we are privileged to be servants of all, and Jesus tells us, "The greatest among you is the servant of all".

He himself demonstrated, by subjecting himself to death on the cross for our sins. From Mothers Are At Home

Blessings, Glenys

She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. Proverbs 31:15

She chose the best

When reading the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:40, many people think that Jesus was rebuking Martha in a negative way. But I don't believe this is so. He in fact, was liberating her from her perfectionism and showing her that there is more to life than just the mundane.

You may recall that Martha was busy serving and preparing the evening meal, whereas Mary was simply enjoying listening to Jesus. Martha was doing an important job, as do we wives and mothers when we manage our households and serve our families. We all know that preparing three meals a day, washing and ironing, cleaning and tidying the house, as well as caring for those of our household- and even extended households sometimes, is mundane. But no one would suggest it wasn't important. So Jesus wasn't undermining its' importance, but He was saying that putting the things of the LORD first is a better way.....

Have you ever thought about how we can so easily get too involved with the practical aspects and lose out on the social and spiritual side? I often plan to make time for Bible reading, or playing with my grandchildren or spending time with Chris, only to find that I have found something else to do. I need to prioritise my life.

So, we must look at the Titus 2 order of priorities- love God, love your husband, love your children, then be a worker at home! This layout of priorities also emphasises the importance that our husbands be our first priority after God! That means my children are second to the needs of my husband. To clarify- that does not mean if a child is crying or needs something that we don't attend to them. It means we defer to our husband and put his wishes before our children's.

Often times we get so busy serving our husbands and children that we overlook enjoying them! Take time to enjoy the other important things in life, your children: they will grow up fast, and this season will be short! Leave the household chores that aren’t urgent to the childrens’ nap times, and spend time enjoying them while they are awake! Make time for your husband. He will be happier for it, you will feel more fulfilled and your children will have a happier home life because you have a good marriage!

And remember to spend time with God, for He is our firm foundation. God wants us to enjoy our life. Let us then be balanced and live under His Umbrella of Protection. For in Gods' Divine Order, we will find the balance we need for the other important things.We need to tend to the mundane things like housework, but we see that Jesus says it's important to tend to our spirit too. So choose the best!

But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. Luke 10:40