Teaching your children manners

I doubt that there would be a mother among us who has never taught her child manners. From the time our child can grasp something held out to them we have intoned the magical words, "Say thank you!" " ta" "please" But good manners are more than please and thank you!

Good manners include holding doors open for someone, letting the other person go first, excusing oneself after emitting intestinal noises~ahem...It's saying "excuse me" and not pushing someone in the road, it's insisting that the children speak respectfully and a lot more. Manners also includes teaching children to value and respect others' property and home...

I can well remember an incident with my friends' daughters. Sharon, her elder daughter had a hair clip that belonged to Denise, her younger daughter. Now Denise wanted it back. This is not an unreasonable request. However, the hair clip was inside Sharon's makeup bag which was inside her handbag, and Sharon was not at home. It would be a simple matter for her mother to just get the hairclip and give it to Denise. But to my amazement, my friend wouldn't go to Sharon's handbag much to Denise's sorrow!

Quite fascinated, I observed this, taking mental notes. Patiently, Denise's mother explained to her that since Sharon wasn't home, it would be best to use another hairpin. It was not up to anyone except Sharon to go through her stuff to give it to Denise. Denise wailed and was quite upset, but her mother stood firm.

Later on, my friend explained that she was training her children to respect others' property. She didn't want Denise to think it was OK to rummage through her sisters' things because she didn't want to teach her that it would be OK to rummage through *our* things! Likewise, she wouldn't let her children jump on the couch at home because she didn't want them jumping on *our* couches! I took all this on board thinking what a wise woman she was. She was sharp, and she was setting the example.

We must set the rules of behaviour in our own homes. Respect of people, respect of others' property and proper and respectful behaviour in others' homes begins in our own. It is an important task that is sometimes forgotten today in this world where children are allowed free rein at home and in others' homes.

Unruly and ill-mannered children will harm your Christian witness too. We are called to have obedient children. So for the LORD'S sake as well, it is important to give careful and faithful instruction to our children. Not only will it benefit our witness and our children and home, but us also as we find ourselves welcomed at others' homes instead of remaining uninvited because they just can't stand our kids! It's true that manners certainly are far more than just please and thank you!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.  Proverbs 22:6

It only comes once

The most precious part of a person's life is undoubtedly their childhood. It is in the first 7 years particularly of a child's life that their character is forming. It is in these years that it is most crucial that children have a close relationship to their parents or career. As well as training and learning, a vital part of childhood is playing. This is where what is observed is put into practice.

It is important that a child have fun in their life, stability, direction and love. The best thing we can give our child for a happy childhood is a happy marriage, a peaceful home and our loving guidance and attention shown at times in playing with them. This will delight a child no end. The memories of childhood games especially with Mother and Father, will last a life-time.

A happy childhood, I believe, prepares a child for adult life and is a once-off- we only have one chance to be a child! I believe that a happy child grows into a confident adult. Life is tackled more confidently than the adult who has had an unhappy childhood. To be denied a happy childhood often makes an adult resentful and can cause some people to be 'Peter Pans' who never grow up. They live life in a constant state of dramas and dependency on their parents or others.

Take time to play and read to your children, give them a routine so that they can know what is expected in their lives, and treat them gently and kindly. Expect them to make messes, cry at your discipline, get cranky when tired or sick and even embarrass you sometimes. They are, after all, children. Let them be loved and know it- tell them often. They need to hear it.

I had never heard my mother say "I love you"- she just couldn't seem to say it. It grieves me that I was 65 when at her last dying words, I ever heard those words from her. I 'knew' she loved me, but I would have loved to hear those words. So from someone who's been there- tell your child often that you love him or her.

Childhood is a growing time, physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually. Make your child's childhood special…let them learn to trust in you and their father and then to learn to trust God. Make it your goal as a parent to give your child a happy childhood. Because it only comes once.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 

Finding comfort in Gods' Order

You may remember the post I wrote about Gods' Umbrella Of Protection. It is a great comfort to me as a Sacrificial HomeKeeper who often wonders just where she fits in Gods' Big Plan for her life.

When I had been ill when my children were young, I used to fret that I couldn't go to certain places like footy matches to watch them play or participate in Mothers' Clubs at the local school.

I used to obsess that I should be doing more in the house as I endured six months of glandular fever that wouldn't go away. I would do some housework in my dressing gown only to break out in a sweat and retreat again to my bed, where I would read to my children until I fell asleep with my glasses on and the book over my face. And my mother would take over in the afternoon shift leading to tea time.

Depression would kick in and probably in hindsight, helped my disease linger so long. And I really needn't have been so depressed. Because a lot of that was a feeling of false guilt and wondering where I was in Gods' plan. Well, I was right where He wanted me to be!

"You mean, He wanted you flat on your back too tired to breathe?" you ask. No, but I was exactly in Gods' Order... in spite of that!

I was first and foremost a child of God. I was a faithful albeit sick wife, and a loving mother to my four little ones: four children under five at the time. And I was still mistress of my home. My (then) husband and mother would consult me on matters pertaining to the home, and I kept a watchful eye on what was going on. So all in all, I was very much under Gods' Umbrella of Protection.

As I have mentioned before, being a faithful Christian woman is not about about how fast you spin your wheel. It is about your heart attitude. Indeed, you are not in control of your illness but you are in control of your attitude and where you are in Gods' Order.

God understands that you can't be participating in Mothers' Clubs (PTA) meetings, church or prayer meetings: indeed these are secondary to where He wants you to be. And if you are His child, faithfully married and overseeing the care of your home and children from your sick bed, then that is where He wants you to be for a season- however short or long that may be.

Knowing this helps me now, but how I wish I had seen that forty years ago! Let me encourage you in this, and may you derive comfort from knowing you are exactly where you should be at this time: under Gods' Umbrella of Protection! That comfort could very well help you recover sooner: Gods' Ways are always good!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

He hath shewed thee, O man, what [is] good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8

Sundays' List

When you get up this morning, get yourself ready for church and then have your breakfast. Put dishes into soak and then do what you can for Sunday Dinner.
When you get back from church, set out dinner and enlist help from others. If you plan simple Sunday fare, you will be less frustrated.
Put the dishes in to soak and enlist the help of those who enjoyed your meal to do dishes or to dry and put them away.
You REST. Don’t worry with the dishes right now, they’re not going anywhere.

Later in the day you can rinse the dishes off and put them away.

Rest.

Read, rest and relax, visit with family and enjoy the day.

Ideas

Get a set of cleaning supplies for all bathrooms, upstairs rooms and downstairs kitchen.

When I say “Make your bed….” That doesn’t mean make that thing with hospital corners. Just pull up the sheets, pull the comforter up over the sheets and let it go. If that isn’t satisfactory for you, you will have to find the energy to make it correctly.

Place a basket at the foot of the stairs and fill it during the day with items that go upstairs, Don’t climb the stairs more than you have to, but when you go…. take that basket with you. Don’t over fill it.

Place another basket in the living room or dining room. When you find something that belongs somewhere else in the house in that room…. put it in the basket. Then later in the week, ask someone in the family to empty the basket into the correct rooms.

Take stuff with you when you go. Anytime you go to the kitchen for example, you can take dishtowels or napkins. When you are headed to the bathroom, take some towels or wash cloths with you and when you are going to your room, take along some clothes that are stored there or along the way.

The less steps the better. So multi-task by taking things to rooms that you are going to anyway. This will take some time to get used to doing, but it will save you so much wear and tear on your legs and knees!

Get in the habit of bringing all dirty laundry with you from the bedroom and bathroom when you go to the kitchen every morning. Put it in the laundry room so you don’t have to walk back that way to do laundry.

Don’t stress about leaving dishes in the sink to soak. Get in the habit of letting them soak instead of wrestling with them to wash them after every meal. Dishes soaked in hot soapy water practically wash themselves and if you want to you can add 1 tsp bleach to the soaking water to disinfect them. This is handy if someone is ill in the house. Allow disinfected dishes to air dry.

Take your shower or bath when you it helps you most. Some people get really tired after a shower. If you do, then you should wait til evening to shower. If it energizes you, then take it first thing in the morning. Or maybe you need a burst of energy in the afternoon, that shower might help you more if you take it then.

Don’t follow a set list if you don’t want to. If you can feel a good day or a bad day coming on when you get up, schedule your day at that time. For example, you get up feeling low, so you choose the Rest Day for that day no matter if its Monday or Thursday. Or you get up and feel pretty good, you can choose to do the day I have listed as Monday. You can also alter the lists by combining two or more days and only using the bare essentials in the lists

If you are in the bathroom, make it a habit of looking around and seeing if something really needs to be done. Have your cleaning supplies ready so you can swish the toilet or spray cleaner on the tub faucets to soak. © 2007 Sylvia Britton of Christian HomeKeeper: used with permission 

"For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee. " Isaiah 41:13

Saturdays' List

Saturday is reserved mainly for getting ready to go worship on Sunday. If you go to church on some other day than Sunday, just change around the order of your days and use another day as your worship preparation day.

Get yourself up and ready for the day, make bed, take laundry to laundry room, run hot soapy water in sink, make bowl of hot soapy water to clean with. Get breakfast and then put dishes in to soak.

Rest.

Start a load of laundry. Take some of your laundry from the week and put it away. Once you get to your room, choose what you will wear to church, get it out and prepared. Prepare other family member’s clothing throughout the day. Remember to take as few steps as possible, multi-task and take things with you from room to room.

Sweep or vacuum one area of the house.

Rest.

Straighten up one area of the house.

Sit down to fold clothes.

Prepare lunch, put dishes in to soak.

Rest and plan what your steps in getting Sunday dinner ready will be.

Pick up bathroom, wipe down sinks, commode and counter tops. Shake rug. Sweep.

Rest.

Start supper. While supper is cooking, take care of any leftover dishes in the sink or on the countertop.
Put supper dishes in to soak.

Before bed tonight, if you have energy, rinse off the dishes and put them away. If not, leave them til tomorrow. © 2007 Sylvia Britton of Christian HomeKeeper: used with permission

Proverbs 31:27 “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat of the bread of idleness.”

Fridays' List

Get up and take care of yourself. Make your bed, take laundry to laundry room.

Start the sink of hot soapy water, your cleaning water and start one load of laundry if needed.

Get breakfast, put dishes in to soak.

Rest and read

Wipe down the kitchen. Sweep the kitchen.

Rest and fold clothes.

When you head toward the bathroom, take cleaning rags with you. Clean the sinks, commode and take out the trash.

Rest.

Do another load of laundry now or iron a couple of shirts.

Get lunch and then put the dishes in to soak.

While you are resting, read and relax, or fold clothes if you have the energy.

Start Supper. Put supper dishes in to soak. © 2007 Sylvia Britton of Christian HomeKeeper: used with permission

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

Thursdays List

Rest Day

The only thing done today is to cook and put dishes in to soak. © 2007 Sylvia Britton of Christian HomeKeeper: used with permission

Wednesdays' List

This is laundry day for the linens, so instead of making your bed, take the sheets off. Take care of yourself, take the sheets to the laundry and make breakfast. Always take any laundry from the bedroom and bathroom to the laundry room in the mornings.

Make your sink of hot water and your cleaning water. Put the breakfast dishes in to soak.

Start laundry.

Rest

Run the vacuum or sweep an area of the house.

Rest, read , relax.

Fold laundry. Take some to put away if you are going to the areas of the house where the laundry goes. Otherwise, leave it in the baskets.

Rest

Put sheets on the bed.

Rest

Serve Supper, rinse dishes and let them soak. Remember what I said about everyone taking their own plates to the sink. If you clean as you go, there will be few pots and pans waiting for you at the end of the meal. If you do find that you have pots and pans to scrub, put them into soak over night and tackle them in the morning when you are running your new sink of hot soapy water.

Crockpot recipes are less taxing on your mind and your body, so find some your family likes and use them frequently. © 2007 Sylvia Britton of Christian HomeKeeper: used with permission

"So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom" Psalm 90:12

Tuesdays' List

Get up and take care of yourself. Make your bed. Take laundry to the laundry room. Start that sink of hot soapy water. Get breakfast and put the breakfast dishes in to soak.

Rest and relax.

Start a load of laundry. Remember the basket of clothes from yesterday? Add to it today as you wash, dry and fold the laundry. If you make a trip to the bedrooms or other rooms the laundry goes in, take some with you. If not, then let it sit folded in that basket until you make the trip to those rooms! If someone needs something, its there nicely folded in the basket.

Make your bowl of cleaning water.

Rest - whether you think you need it or not.

Sweep the kitchen.

Rest.

Mop the bathroom.

Rest and then prepare lunch. Put the dishes in to soak. Wipe down the kitchen faucets and counters with your cleaning water or alcohol. Wipe down the bathroom faucets sinks.

Now sit and read or rest.

Start supper. After supper do the same thing you did last night. © 2007 Sylvia Britton of Christian HomeKeeper: used with permission

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

Mondays' List

Before we start the lists, I want to make sure that everyone who thinks they might want to use these lists realizes that these are patterns and suggestions. You will have to fill in the blank, so to speak, with your own household requirements to make them work. You can use as many of my suggestions as you like, but leave out the ones that you can’t use. Then this will truly be a tool to assist you and not a list of things you have to do to be a good housekeeper!I am using my friend Glenys’ list of things she needs done each day for examples. You use your own duties and make your own lists.

First List

Make a list of what absolutely has to be done daily. For Glenys it is….

beds clean
toilets and bathrooms clean
dishes and kitchen area clean
clothes clean

What You Will Need
A Bottle of alcohol or spray on cleaner
Hot soapy water and cleaning rags
Broom or vacuum

Monday
Get up and get dressed, make your bed, get breakfast
Run a sink of hot soapy water, but not too full. You will add to this throughout the day and put dirty dishes in it through the day.
Make a bowl of hot soapy cleaning water and sit it on the counter, get yourself a cleaning rag.
Rest

Bring clothes to laundry room
Start a load
Rinse and put breakfast dishes into soak.

Rest

Change out laundry, start another load, etc.
Sit down to fold clothes, stack them in your laundry basket.

Wipe down countertops and appliances if needed
Prepare lunch
Put lunch dishes in to soak

Rest. Plan your weekly menu.

Pour cleaner into the commode.
Run a sink of hot water in the bathroom and add cleaner to soak.
Apply your cleaner to the tub and allow to soak.

Rest. Make your grocery list.

Rinse out the commode, sink and tub if needed. Sweep the floor in the bathroom.

The dishes will need little more than a hot rinse at this point. Rinse them off and stack to dry or put them in your dishwasher to run. The hot soapy water cleans them while they soak and the less you have to move them around, the less tired you will be while fixing supper.

Start supper. If you are finding that this is a difficult day, use paper plates and cups. If you don’t use paper, then just rinse the dishes and put them into soak, or have a family member do it after the meal.

Wipe down the counters as you cook. Clean the stove as you go, rag in one hand, spoon in the other smile.gif
If you are not using paper, rinse and soak the supper dishes. You can rinse them tomorrow morning. You can put away dry dishes tomorrow too. © 2007 Sylvia Britton of Christian HomeKeeper: used with permission

Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14

Scheduling days of rest

After this post we’ll follow up with the actual Homekeeping Lists and Ideas for keeping your home running well.If you’ve never had to pace yourself at home while you were working, you may not understand this concept. I used to run full-throttle, wide open all the time until I finally collapsed in exhaustion at night. I was younger then and I didn’t have to deal with a disability. I’m thankful for those days when I had two energetic little boys and needed to have lots of energy. It was a regular habit of mine to get up at 6 and work all day, then stay up til 12 or 1 in the morning sewing and cleaning in the quiet. I could never do that today.

Everyone slows down at least a as the years go by. Women with chronic illness can often find themselves slowed down beyond their years. Or they find that they are slow some days and almost normal on others. But there is always that undercurrent of concern that today will be the last day this week (or month) that she can function and keep the household together.

A women with a chronic illness must learn to pace herself and to schedule work days, rest days and to implement unscheduled rest days. She must also learn how to recognize a day where she has energy and strength and use it but not over tax her body.
In essence, she must learn to know her body. This is not as easy as you might think, some women are very slow to learn the way their bodies act and react. Lots of paying attention to the body in many different situations is the way to go about learning this.

Not everyone is going to understand.
If you don’t look sick, and you don’t sound sick, you must not be sick, right? Wrong. You can look like a million bucks and know that today you need to rest. So, others may not understand your reasoning. It is up to you to not abuse your illness by demanding rest when you can go, but by patiently explaining that when you feel thus and thus… it is time to rest.

Is there a day of the week when you feel especially bad? If so, then look at it closely and try to figure out why. Do you do too much the day before? Was there a lot of emotional stress in the previous days? Can you adjust your week to lessen the physical fallout on the “Bad” day?

Look at your week. Is it out of control? Can you schedule your week so that it is under control?
Unlike most women, you are probably not going to want to do ALL of your out of the house errands in one day. Can you spread them out through the week? Give the responsibility to others? Let it go altogether? Think about all of these things and make your week work for you. Don’t lock yourself into a schedule and feel that you can’t change it. A woman with a chronic illness or disability has to be able to adjust and change her schedule to work for her.

One of the things I remembered from my days as a young, nursing mother, was the fatigue and anxiety over the house. Face it, there are a thousand things that women at home do every day and no one sees the result. Traci and I were talking about this just a few days ago. We realized that this is the reason why women who work outside the home often say to stay at home mothers, “What do you DO all day?”.

The BEST thing I learned while I was young and nursing those babies was how to multi-task. Not enough to stress my body, but enough to make a difference in my peace of mind and my house. So, I will be including some of those multi-tasking tips in the Homekeeping Lists in the next post. The philosophy you must adopt is “How many things can I do in this room before I leave?” And lists are great to post on the doors of each room to remind us of what can be done when we are in a brain fog.Plan your days of rest

Know that certain days of the week are your rest days. Or that certain hours of the day are your rest hours. Work a little then, lay it down and rest. When you rest, do what provides the maximum amount of rest for your body. For me it is quiet instrumental music, hot earl grey tea and a blanket, a nice view out the back picture window and peace in my household. I sit the tea where it can be made quickly and I don’t have to search for it. My blanket stays on my chair and my children know when its Mom’s rest time, they go to their rooms and read or play quietly nearby. It took a lot of training to get that last one right

You can divide your days into hours or your weeks into days, but however you do it, you need to PLAN for rest. When you are rested you will be more able to pick up where you left off and work.

Work in short time spans, whatever you can do without taxing yourself. Work a bit, then sit down to do something like read, write, make grocery lists, listen to books on tape or scripture on tape or cd. Then, after a period of rest, get back up and do some more work. If your work is spelled out for you on a list, you will have less trouble figuring out what exactly to do next.

When your home is uncluttered and organized, you will be rewarded with quick, effective work. We will work on making our lists and including rest days in the next post. © 2007 Sylvia Britton of Christian HomeKeeper: used with permission


"And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while: for there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat" Mark 6:31

Sitting down with your family!

As I have been reading and talking to people in my life who have disabilities or who struggle with chronic fatigue, this is one of the topics that seems to have the most emotion surrounding it. The reasons are many.

Some women will not admit to others or themselves that they need help.
Some women know they need help but will not ask.
Some women know and will ask but cannot find help.
Some women cannot afford to pay for help.
Some women ask for help but it makes them feel so badly that they don’t ask again.
There are various other reasons why this is an emotional topic.

So, I do realize that there are many, many reasons why women with a disability just don’t ask for help, even reasons I have not mentioned here. But I think they must ask and keep on asking til they find help, in order to have a good quality of life. If a woman puts off asking her family or her church family for help when she needs it, there will only come a day when the difficulties progress and she absolutely HAS to have someone come in immediately to work in her home. You can use your imagination, but you probably know someone or have heard of someone who has put off getting help and her home is almost unmanagable.

Get help if you need it. If you can afford to pay someone once or twice a week, go through an agency and hire someone. If not, then ask Church family or your own family to sit down with you and talk about your needs and ask for help.

If you are going to be going through Decluttering or Packing to move, you need someone to do the lifting, moving, packing and leg work. You can do the brain work til you are in need of a rest. Be sure you only work for short periods of time. Stop before you are exhausted.

Talking to your family:

Families are all different and it wouldn’t do a bit of good for me to tell you how to address your own family about your disability. But, using years of mentoring and counseling women as a pattern and guide, I can offer some suggestions before you start:

* Pray. Not just right before you talk, but for a long time before you talk to your family. Ask God to soften hearts, direct minds, give you strength and courage and help the relationships to grow stronger through this event.
* Stay calm. Don’t get upset or overexcited when you talk, especially if they refuse to help you or if they tell you they will and don’t show up to help. Stay calm, know that the Lord is your strength and help.
* Have a plan written down. Its your home, you are in charge. Know what you need and what you want from others. Write it down and make sure everyone understands it. You can make changes, take advice, but if you don’t want to change something important, think about it overnight before making the change.
As part of your written plan you should include ample time to complete the task, (it could take weeks), and supplies needed for short term projects.
* Be the manager. You are the manager of this venture, so you are in charge of managing people to get the job done. That means you may need to make phone calls to firm up (remind) appointments and give people lists of things to bring to help, like garbage bags, etc. Remember to be kind and think of the needs of others. Its easy to get that single-minded determination going and forget that you’re managing humans!
* Make sure everyone realizes that you can only work for short periods of time before resting. They can continue if you allow, but you need to rest. © 2007 Sylvia Britton of Christian HomeKeeper: used with permission 


"For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee. " Isaiah 41:13

Getting started with Sylvia's Lists

Homemaking is different for women with chronic pain and fatigue. Every day they must deal with the symptoms of their illness and every day they must find a way to get the work done without overtaxing their bodies and making themselves, and their homekeeping concerns, worse.

These ideas are, for the most part, derived from my reading about Fibromyalgia, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Chronic Pain and personal experience with being ill for long periods of time.

I think the main thing to keep in mind if you have a chronic illness is that you must schedule time for rest as well as work. As with all busy women, women with chronic illness tend to push themselves. The woman with chronic pain however can end up in an unorganized, exhausted slump that takes major effort and rest to climb out of.

So, the things that women with chronic illness must look at in organizing and keeping their homes are:

* Major Decluttering is essential to creating a home that works for you if you have chronic pain or other illness.
* Get help when it is needed. There comes a time in life when we ALL begin to realize we cannot do all the things we used to do. More so for the chronically ill. Health, changes. We have to change our methods and lifestyles to match the changes in our health.
* Sitting down with your family and talking about your illness and how it effects your ability to keep the house. Talk about team work and work out ways to share the work load.
* Scheduling days of Rest Days and Work Days.
* Small increments of work every work day.
* Homekeeping and Rest Days Lists. Dealing With Major Life Changes.

We start with Major Decluttering:
This is something that most women with chronic illness are not able to do by themselves. I’ve thought about this and thought about it. I don’t see any way to keep a home clean, organized, hygienic and easy to manage if it is not decluttered and organized.

Women with chronic illness are not always able to do this kind of major cleaning. But there are some options.
The first option is to work on it a little at a time. This can be done in several ways. The every day running of the household can to be handed over to other family members. Family members can be asked to make their own meals and take care of laundry. Daily cleaning routines can be delegated.

The second option is for the homekeeper to plan the Decluttering and have family members (or church family, thanks Karen!) to carry out the actual Decluttering. These two options can be frustrating and seem to never end if the whole family is not working together toward the end result.

The final option is to hire someone to come help you with Decluttering. My suggestion is to plan out exactly what you want done and then hire someone to come and do exactly what you direct them to do for only a short period of time each day until the work is complete.

There are ideas and instructions for Decluttering all over CHK and the internet. Finding out what to do is not nearly so difficult as actually getting it done. But this is your first line of action: Get that house into shape. Think of an individual who is blind. That person cannot function in a house where nothing has a specific place. A blind person needs order and a distinct lack of “things” sitting around the house. This is what you need too if you are chronically ill, just for different reasons. © 2007 Sylvia Britton of Christian HomeKeeper: used with permission

"So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom" Psalm 90:12

We can still make a difference!

"What really does work to increase the feeling of having a home and its comforts is housekeeping. Housekeeping creates cleanliness, order, regularity, beauty, the conditions for health and safety, and a good place to do and feel all the things you wish and need to do and feel in your home.
Whether you live alone or with a spouse, parents, and ten children, it is your housekeeping that makes your home alive, that turns it into a small society in its own right, a vital place with its own ways and rhythms, the place where you can be more yourself than you can be anywhere else." by Cheryl Mendelson, Home Comforts: The Art & Science of Keeping House

As sacrificial home keepers, we still can achieve a good deal in creating a peaceful home for our family. We can still make a difference: it just takes extra planning and energy and consulting our lists!

Over the next week or so I will be posting lists and sharing how we sacrificial home keepers can stay on top of things by planning and pacing. I hope they will be of some help to you. Feel free to print the Lists out if you want.

No matter how little we do or how big or small our home is, we can still be like the Proverbs 31 woman and and still live out Titus 2. We can still make a difference!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom" Psalm 90:12

Preparing for the Big Day!

Have you ever stopped to think about how most of us prepare for marriage and childbirth and then once that is accomplished, we fall by the roadside? How many websites, magazines, articles, CD’s etc are there dedicated to these subjects? We are prepared for the BIG DAY: the wedding day, the delivery day- yet how many of us find a sense of disillusionment in life after the BIG DAY has been? We are simply- unprepared!

It is not that preparing for one’s wedding day or impending birth of a child is wrong in itself, but to focus all one’s attention on the BIG DAY and lose focus on the YEARS thereafter is foolhardy. After all, a marriage comes after a wedding and a lifetime of parenting comes after a birth. The years after the BIG DAY is where the rubber meets the road..

So many women put all their attention on their wedding- the preparations, the drama, the dreaming, the romance and the culmination of years of planning and rehearsing in her head. But once married, how many are prepared for the hard work of tending and nurturing that marriage. For marriage is hard work at times and we would be foolish to think otherwise.

Let’s be honest: how many of us have taken the time to study about marriage as the institution it is- not the romanticised notion but the reality? Often if we have not prepared and studied not only the scriptures on marriage but studied and observed our husbands- we will find ourselves being bogged down by feelings of disillusionment and disenchantment.

Likewise, how many of us expectant mothers haven’t bothered to read up on childbirth, practiced all the exercises and relaxation tips for labour, eaten well and obsessed about ours and our child’s health? But how many of us have read up on child-raising, education, and marital adjustment and so forth for the years of parenting ahead? It is very short-sighted to place all one’s attention on the delivery of a child to the neglect of acquiring knowledge about the raising of that child. After all, childbirth is a day, parenthood is for life!

We must equip ourselves and our daughters to be the best wives (not brides), the best mothers (not labouring women), so that they will be well prepared to cope with the reality of life. When the rubber meets the road and they find that their BIG DAYS are followed by years of hard work and effort, they will be women of strength, fortitude and confidence- and they will be wonderful wives and mothers.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"Wisdom resteth in the heart of him that hath understanding: but [that which is] in the midst of fools is made known" Proverbs 14:33

Always a blessing

Living a satisfying and fruitful Christian life as an older woman is important. In applying godly principles and priorities to our life, we can avoid the pitfalls of succumbing to depression during the years of empty nesting. With the benefit of life experience and years of walking with Christ, we can be a blessing to those closest round us even in later life.

I love to encourage Christian women in their most precious calling. Although I now have passed the season of childbearing and child raising, I still find that my life can influence my adult children and their children. Being a mother and a godly woman never stops! In sharing my heart as an older Sister in Christ in the spirit of Titus 2 and Proverbs 31, I feel that I am still living my life out in a scripturally pleasing way and in keeping with godly priorities.

It is important that the older Christian woman encourages and teaches her younger sisters (and that includes her daughters and granddaughters) It is my prayer that younger women will catch the beauty and freedom we have in Christ by accepting that marriage, children and home are our first and most precious calling and ministry. I pray too that if you are an older sister like myself, that you will rise up and bless younger women too!

By living life according to godly priorities and principles, the aging Christian woman can find satisfaction and joy and be a blessing to those closest to her, even after her children have left the nest, for now is the time for outside ministry. God never wants us to feel unfulfilled and empty-He wants us to pass on the baton of godly womanhood.

God's ways are good: they are always good! And He says you will always be a blessing!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks


"The aged women likewise, that [they be] in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children," Titus 2:4-5

Experts don't always know best

When I was born there was a philosophy of child raising influenced by a whole network of Maternal Welfare Centres in Australia under the umbrella of Dr Truby King. In this teaching, the newborn was "trained" to be fed every 4 hours on the dot, allowed to cry inconsolably when hungry yet allowed to run wild in the developing years. One did not want to hurt their little psyches by spanking or scolding.

My mother remembers only too well her niece who was sucking on her fingers and screaming for a feed but whose mother would let her scream until the clock said it was time for the next feed! She was a strict follower of the Truby King regime. By the time the baby was offered the breast (which was swollen with milk that would gush down the child's throat), she was usually too exhausted to suckle well and if she did, would be full of colic from all the crying.

My cousin grew up a chronic thumb sucker and a lonely and unhappy child. But a child who was allowed complete freedom- even to tap dancing on the top of her mother's white Queen Ann dressing table! At a time when a newborn should be taught to trust in a big world, and then how to love and form a deep abiding bond with its mother or carer, it was deprived of not only food but comfort! It learnt to be anxious and distrustful and unloving!

But at an age where the personality was developing and training could commence, the child was allowed full vent to emotion and desires and was allowed to run wild. These poor children were taught that instant gratification, disrespect of authority, people and their possessions and ultimate selfishness were their right. There were no boundaries and the child was unhappy and isolated. Parents of children being trained in the niceties and values of normal living rightfully didn't want their own children associating with them.

Ultimately, Truby King bred a generation of unhappy adults who knew nothing but self indulgence and that anarchy does indeed rule. How sad! How very contrary to God's way of raising children! I do not know what became of Dr Truby King perhaps he has passed on- but the legacy he has passed on to countless adults brought up under his spartan regime is appalling. How different these teachings are to the gentle rearing of our children under the admonition of the scriptures!

How my heart yearns to be able to go back in time and comfort and feed the many infants starving for hours and fretting and to direct and gently guide the little children brought up under the teaching of these people! Yet many sincere and genuinely loving parents thought they were doing what was best for their children- unfortunately, they followed after the foolishness of man and against the knowledge of the Most High God.

I was fortunate to have a sensible mother, but thousands weren't. It makes you wonder how each turned out as an adult doesn't it?

© Glenys Robyn Hicks



"Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward. " Psalm 127:3

The litany of everyday life

An encouraging excerpt from: by Margret Kim Peterson.

"God is the creator and has given [us the] privilege of imitating and participating in God’s work as creator.

God ... started with chaos and ended with a...beautiful universe.

Housework is all about bringing order out of chaos.

That heap of damply repulsive clothes on the bathroom floor turns into stacks of neatly folded clean laundry in a matter of hours...

a table piled high with junk mail, school papers, and forgotten socks turns into a table neatly set for a meal...

a sack of potatoes ...turns into a dish of mashed potatoes ...

Housework is never "done" in the same sense ... that God's providential involvement in the world is never done." (End of excerpts)

To sum up: We keep house because we love our families. And we won't be all done today. We will wake up again tomorrow, and receive the gift of another day, and the privilege again, of honorable work to fill our hands. We take care of our families, who love and appreciate us in return.

True, some things are more fun to do than others. Making cookies may be more fun than cleaning toilets. But we still clean the toilet. And we don't fall into self pity over it. We even make a game out of it, and it actually can be fun.

After all, every person on earth has parts of their job that are unpleasant and would be avoided if possible.

As homemakers, we are privileged to be servants of all, and Jesus tells us, "The greatest among you is the servant of all".

He himself demonstrated, by subjecting himself to death on the cross for our sins. From Mothers Are At Home

Blessings, Glenys

She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. Proverbs 31:15

Housework is spiritual

As a Clean Freak and author of the e-book secret confessions of a clean freak - I can tell you - it's the results of housecleaning that are spiritual.  A clean home feels better.  Plus, you have the pride in a job well done. It's all positive - calming.

Housework left undone is very negative. A constant reminder of things you haven't done. I feel good when my bathroom walls or my stove is shiny. It makes me feel like I have control. And sometimes, that's all I have control over.

And, like all things spiritual, it takes discipline until it becomes habit. Housecleaning is a breeze once you have it under control and you have a routine. Really! I'm a single mom and I get picked on all the time for being too clean - like I have some disease! Guess I'm just a freak! author unknown.

Well, I wouldn't call this author a freak. I know from my own experience that a messy house makes me feel worse than usual and irritable. The trouble for me is getting the energy to do it. But the results of housework certainly are spiritual!

I have known a Christian woman who was part of our home bible group many years ago. Her place looked like a hurricane had struck it. Ants marched along the floor to dine and pillage her overflowing trash container in the kitchen. There wasn't a clean cup or spoon for after the study's fellowship cuppa.

We all cleaned it up so that the ladies who came would be more comfortable, but by the next week it was just the same. Instinctively, we knew that housework is spiritual and that we would not be able to focus on the Word sitting in filth. Filth is not conducive to worshiping God.

These days I am limited in how much I can clean and it often is a source of dismay to me that I can't do as much as I would like. When I do have the spoons (energy) to clean, the results lift my spirits so much that I have to conclude that housework is spiritual. Blessings as you sacrificially set the spiritual tone in cleaning your home.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks


She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:27

Don't relinquish your role

As you probably know, in my first 25 year marriage, I was an abused wife. But along with physical abuse, I was daily subjected to disrespect and psychological stress.

By the time I was married for about 15 years, I was broken physically and emotionally. I was in hospital frequently for a spinal disease called Sheurmann's Disease, and for surgery to remove kidney stones. Each time I came home, the disrespect was worse.

After a few years of this, I noticed that my daughter, who was a teenager at the time, was changing her attitude towards me. She became cheeky and sassy and answered me back constantly. Whenever I appealed for some backup from her father, he would defend her. I felt isolated and lonely in my own home.

As she grew older, I noticed that they both talked more than he and I did, and there was a definite bond and camaraderie. I felt like the third wheel.

In the morning I would make my beds and maintain my home, and when my daughter came home from school, she would pull them all back and redo them, stating that they weren't made properly.

Often my ex-husband would come home to unmade beds and he would start screaming at me, swearing and calling me horrid names. He didn't believe me when I told him I had made them and that she had pulled them back for me to make again. Honestly, with my ill health, once a day was enough for me to find the strength to make them.

In the end, I didn't make them, letting her do them when she got home from school. It was just wasting my precious spoons (energy) for nothing- they would be remade and I would get a tongue lashing regardless.

I think this was where the rug was pulled from under my feet. I gradually was treated like a naughty child by both my ex-husband and my eldest daughter. In fact when we were moving house and it was time to choose the colours and tiles etc, they conferred and I was just informed what it would be.

To say that I was not mistress of my own home is an understatement. I was an annoying lazy freeloader according to them. I couldn't work outside the home and they begrudged me anything at all.

When finally I could no longer keep any food down due to fear and depression, and sick of punched arms and bruises, I decided to leave. And in my confusion, I grabbed some clothes pegs with my clothes and this was duly reported to her father who demanded them to be returned.

I don't believe even today that there was any sexual connection with my daughter and her father, but there was a bond that cemented them together, but which excluded me. And I was powerless to change it and my cries for marriage counselling fell on deaf ears. It became too much.

Truly, three in a marriage is never what God intended. Nor did He intend for a man to cleave to his daughter and deny his wife due regard and respect. It is not a normal marriage.

So why do I tell you this? you ask. Because you must find the strength to fight being made an outsider in your role as a wife, mother and home maker. You simply must demand respect from your husband, even if it exhausts you. You must insist on respect from your children.

I wish I had been aware of this earlier and been firmer, but I can only say that I was beaten down so badly by him and chronic illness, that I could hardly stand. Start defending your right to be a wife and a respected mother.  Your role is ordained by God. Don't relinquish it.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

“I will give children to be their princes, and babes shall rule over them.." Isaiah 3:4