A discussion on housework

If I were to sit down with you for a cuppa and we started to discuss housework, it wouldn’t take us long to agree that it can be terribly boring and monotonous! It is thankless and repetitive and there often is very little instant job satisfaction! I think we would do well to remember something…

Although we tend to find keeping home is often a lonely business, we must consider that housework is indeed a valid occupation and a worthy chore and it is virtually the same the world over. As we start our daily routines, we join millions of people worldwide who must do the same thing if they want to live in a home that is relatively clean and inviting…

Chris and I recently went on vacation interstate, driving many long miles, and I remember thinking of the many clothes lines filled with clean clothes along the way. Testimony that someone had taken the time to do it- probably lamenting the tediousness of doing laundry just as we are!

As we passed the high country and it snowed, it was so comforting to see the smoke billowing from the Coonara fires and open fireplaces, again testimony that someone had chopped the wood, prepared the fire and most likely cleaned up the ashes and dusted down sooty places. But be that as it may, the end result would have been worth it. I pondered how cosy it would have been to return home to the warmth of this homestead after facing the extreme cold doing farm chores!

I love collecting graphics of cosy homes and homemaking scenes…and I often reflect on the work behind the well-lit cottages with their chimneys and the kitchen scenes with baked pies cooling at the open kitchen window. Often there is a beloved cat or dog sitting in front of the fire….all making a very captivating homely scene. But have you ever stopped to think that said animals must be fed? Those cooling pies must have been prepared and to do that shopping must have been done and apples peeled….and then there would have been a mountain of dishes to wash!

Every facet of housework actually builds the foundation of a happy home. And tedious as it is, it is something we would do well to embrace with at least a willing spirit, if not a happy heart. I am speaking to myself as I write this, for I am chief among murmuring and indolent homemakers at times…

My personal prayer is that God will help me develop a grateful heart and a willing spirit….I do long to be a good wife and homemaker…so as soon as I complete this post, I am going to bless my home and family with a thoroughly cleaned house. My heart is prepared, and I am willing: I just need God to give me the strength….but I think of the end result and push onwards: the end results will be most gratifying even if short-lived!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

“Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully” 1 Timothy 5:14

Fibromyalgia is real!

When I read a blog post (Fibromyalgia Negative Press) – citing a newspaper columnist’s remark about people with Fibro who want to collect a government check and pop pills (Random Nonsense) — I thought: I’m glad I live with multiple sclerosis!

After several weeks of deep pain and fatigue, I’m actually grateful to live with a disease that people believe exists. I mean, I could have fibromyalgia or CFS! Not only would I have these miserable symptoms but people would doubt me. Worse they might label me lazy or crazy.

When I told my neurologist about the recent “flare” in symptoms, she suggested an MRI to see if there might be new MS activity. Because it’s MS and there are tests that show disease, I can be confident that my healthcare providers all agree on this point.

But my client withfFibromyalgia, who is a senior executive, finds that although her rheumatology doctor fully supports her, her other physicians seem sceptical about the diagnosis. And she never mentions it to her colleagues because of the odd reactions she’s gotten.

I’m tired of the demeaning remarks about people with Fibromyalgia. The common thinking is that this isn’t a ‘real illness’. I’ve heard all kinds of people say that fibromyalgia people are depressed, difficult, even a little crazy. I’ve heard healthcare professionals say that Fibro patients are their toughest. Others say that there’s a “Fibro” type who doesn’t seem to want to help her/him self.

What’s up with this? Maybe it’s a chicken and egg thing. If you haven’t lived with invisible, unpredictable and waxing & waning chronic illness -pain, fatigue, mental issues – you don’t know how crazy making it can make even the sanest person.

When I’m not well, I’m not the same person that I am when I am well (just ask my husband, my kids, the people who work for me!). When I have symptoms that don’t improve quickly, I can lose hope and feel depressed. When I see a doctor who tells me that I’m difficult to treat because I don’t get better quickly, I want to scream. I know I become a more irritable and difficult patient.

I imagine I’m better able to manage my responses better than most, due to my training and what I do for a living. But my symptoms derive from ‘recognized’ diseases with objective findings. It would be that much more difficult to confront a world that doesn’t believe my symptoms are “real”.

As it happens, for some completely inexplicable reason (certainly not due to a change in wet weather), I woke up two days ago feeling much better. The back pain is still there but improving and the fatigue and heaviness are gone. I’m grateful both to feel better and to know that no one doubted that my symptoms were due to some underlying disease state. At least, not that they said :)

What do you do when you face the sceptic? Have you experienced people at work who think you’re trying to get out of work by “faking” it or making a big deal out of nothing? Or who don’t even believe that what you’re living with is “real”? Share it. by Rosalinde Joffe

Bravo!Well done!

Blessings, Glenys

'Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him' Job 18:15a

Simply Love

‘Simply Love’

I saw them walking today, her smaller hand held in his, 

His arthritic thumb bent at an angle, yet still firmly and protectively holding onto hers. 

She lagged behind a bit, her aged legs unable to hurry-

She seemed content to let him lead as he had undoubtedly done all their lives.
She never even glanced at the road as they crossed, 

So used to having him lead well: faith in his competence made her trust him. 

What trials had they overcome, what life experiences had they shared, 

Stumbling and standing together through life’s journey, 

Facing all things together whilst living as one? 

In such a simple act, I saw the simplicity of love – 

So precious though elusive and seldom found:- they held it in their hearts and hands.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  1 Corinthians 13:4-7

He's no Superman!

One of the biggest strains that I have ever placed on my marriage was the unspoken demand for my husband to be my Lord and savior. It wasn't something that I verbalised, but it was an unattainable, internal standard that I had set for him.

I expected my husband to be perfect and without fault. With this expectation came disappointment and bitterness. When the Bible alluded to the husband being "like Christ" in regards to his relationship to his wife, I took this to mean perfect. I expected the PERFECT CHRISTIAN HUSBAND.

I charged him with filling the needs and completing tasks that only the Lord could. I expected my husband to know how I was feeling even when I was to hurt and stubborn to verbalise. I expected him to know what to do to make me happy. I wanted him to meet all of my needs. I demanded that he figure out what it required to make me feel secure. 

This kind of thinking began to take a severe toll on the strength of my marriage. It was not until I realised that I had set up an idol. This idol was a detailed mental list of the type of husband God wanted for me. This list transformed from the type of husband God wanted for me into the type of husband I demanded that I have.

I had built an image of my husband, based upon every righteous aspect of the scripture, and then turned it into an idol of worship. If ever my husband did not meet the standards I had formulated, I would become frustrated, resentful and bitter. This showed up in my speech, behaviour and attitude.

It wasn't until God began to show me how far away I was from being a Proverbs 31 or Titus 2 wife that I finally humbled myself. It amazes me how easily something good can turn bad when we get our hands on it. Needless to say, that I stopped demanding that my husband be perfect and begun the work of allowing God to perfect me. Not only have I grown in the process, but God has moulded my husband into the perfect man for me.

I no longer worship who he could be, but I accept and encourage my husband for who he his and where he is. I let God's grace handle the rest. If you have a husband that you believe is coming up short, be prayerful, focus on the Lord and encourage your husband often. Ask God to help you focus on your husbands goodness. Allow God to use you to be the help meet he needs to become the man God predestined him to be-   by Proverbs 31 Wife

Blessings, Glenys 

It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man. Psalm 118:8

Laundry blues

Have you ever thought that doing the washing was not that important? Clothes are a witness to the world of the type of wife or mother you are. It is said that clothes make the man. In this world of ours, where man looks on the outward appearance, it is true. God does know our heart but man only has his senses to go by. If our family’s clothes are not cared for properly, if our husband goes to the office in an unironed shirt or crumpled trousers, not only does it reflect badly on you, but also may hold him back from that promotion he has been hoping for.

The children’s clothing too can tell whether a child is loved or not. A child may very well have clothing that has dirt on it from play, but most of us can tell if a child’s clothing is really just dirty from play or plain filthy. I believe that clothes should be well maintained and ironed. They should be modest and reflect cleanliness and be spotless. Proverbs tells us that the godly woman wears expensive clothing. She dresses well and maintains her family’s clothes. Her husband is known at the gates of the city- obviously well respected. Can you imagine the amount of respect he would have if he was dressed in clothing that was dirty and crumpled?

Doing the family washing is not hard if you think it through. I wash everything in cold water. I soak the whites overnight in cold water and detergent which is specifically made for cold water washing. I do the same with the towels. I add a 50/50 solution of white vinegar and fabric softener- that makes them nice and fluffy and odour-free. My washing is always clean and fresh. 

I usually hang it outside to dry or over the clothes horse under a ducted heating vent in the wet days. Saves on electricity bills and I also think I save money by using the cold water. (My Mum always used warm water/ cold rinse) But honestly, we are on a tight budget and I need to squeeze every way I can to save money. I have found that sometimes hot water washing can make clothes stiff and they can lose their colour quickly.

I know that doing the washing seems to be one of those chores that we either love or hate. It seems a small thing, yet the maintenance of our clothes detract or enhance our overall presentation and speaks volumes. I am sure the Proverbs 31 woman must have taken pride in her washing and family’s presentation- we can afford to do no less!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"Her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders of the land" Proverbs 31:23

Out of control

My first marriage was very violent and traumatic for me. I was constantly shouted at by my ex-husband, with him screaming at me so closely that there was spittle on my glasses and face. This was often punctuated with a smack across the face or a punch in the jaw. In fact, he dislocated it once and to this day, I have problems with clicky jaw and TMJ...

Just after our 17th anniversary, I was trying to get something down from our wardrobe and I was standing on a bedside table..the table toppled over and my leg was badly bruised, but what hurt the most was that my husband came in roaring at me and punched me between the shoulder blades.. I don't know what happened, but I started howling and screaming like a wild woman and I couldn't stop it or the shaking that convulsed my body... even he was shocked..

I rang my mother and she took me to the doctor who gave me an injection to calm me... it did nothing. Mum rang him and he said that she should take me to hospital as he couldn't help any further..   So for the whole day I sat beside my hospital bed, blowing into a paper bag and talking to the psychiatrist for more than a couple of hours. He gave me a diagnosis of  extreme  stress and urged me to leave my husband,  which I did 8  years later.  I was discharged and sent home to my husband who informed me that I wasn't mad and didn't need to go to hospital even though he said I was mad every time I reacted to his abuse..

Being so low emotionally and mentally gave me insight into the way people view mental illness.. my family were appalled that I needed to talk to someone about it and I was urged to keep it private. This served to make me feel more alone and isolated than I already felt. To this day, fully recovered and now happily remarried, I feel anger at society's handling of the mentally ill..

Nervous breakdowns, stress induced illnesses, bi-polar, depression, schizophrenia and other mental illnesses do not make a person bad or someone to be hidden from society. We need to remember that they are suffering from invisible illnesses every bit as painful as a broken leg. We need to pray for them and treat them respectfully. They already will be suffering the added burden of shame and guilt for something that is out of their control.. 

PS I have been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder now. But in spite of being happily remarried for 21 years, I find I am still effected by my past marriage...

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you.' Isaiah 41:13

In a panic attack, God is right there with us

We are all wonderfully and fearfully made. But sometimes in our genetic makeup, we inherit or are "assigned" genes that are predisposed to anxiety.  Or we do not produce sufficient neurotransmitters such as Seretonin or endorphins, which result in our nature being one of anxiety and fear.

Like many mental illnesses, people often only see the outward manifestation of our illness, which produces a response in us sufferers of panic/anxiety disorder that not only produces fear in us, but often derision and judgement from others.

The person who suffers from panic disorder and anxiety often suffers more acutely because people do not realise that our body simply is not programmed properly. Often we contend with alienation from others born of their misunderstanding of our condition. We suffer deeply.

We who suffer intense depression at times are not weak as some suppose. Indeed, because we carry our condition within ourselves, and exhaust our limited supply of Seretonin and other "happy" neurotransmitters, we battle our condition on a daily basis.

We do not wish to stay this way and fight it, praying constantly. And many of us feel abandoned by God when we need Him the most! Which is far more frightening than suffering rejection and judgement from others..

As a Christian who battles with this disorder, I know that often it is the sufferer of Panic/anxiety disorder who is really quite strong in character. We are born in a battle and this battle often continues all our lives. Even with God in our lives.  It is endogenous: meaning it comes from within and as such, we carry it everywhere.

I believe that we should seek out medications to help us. God made them for a reason. Just as I take my Diabex medication for diabetes, so I take my anti-depressants. With a glad heart. For we are to look after the body: it is a temple for the Holy Spirit.

I must bring every thought into the captivity of Christ. I try not to dwell on sad events that I can do nothing about except pray. I also try to remember to think only of those things that are pure and good.  And, most importantly, I practise forgiveness of those who are ignorant of my disorder. Ignorance is usually hurtful, but not intentional hurt.  People generally are ignorant of mental illness...I try to remember that.

By far the greatest self help is to memorise scripture and use it and apply it to your life, so that when the anxiety comes, you can put on the armour of God, and quench it with the Word.  YOU SIMPLY MUST REMEMBER THAT GOD IS STILL THERE AND LOVES YOU IN SPITE OF YOUR FEELINGS.

Emotions are not what our salvation is based on!

It has taken me a life time of conquering this disorder. It hasn't been easy, but it is possible to gain the victory. Panic and anxiety is NOT YOUR LIFE it does NOT DEFINE WHO YOU ARE!

Nothing, not even a panic attack can take your salvation away from you, no matter how much "IT" bares its' teeth at you!  This is a fact that you should cling to in those times!  We will overcome!..

I do not have constant depression or frequent panic attacks any more. For this, I praise the LORD and give thanks. I write of my experience with depression to bring it out in the open.

People are often ashamed of being depressed. Especially Christians who feel that they have let the LORD down. But that is not so. We are still good living people who happen to have a problem with brain chemicals imbalance. We are not second rate people like the Enemy whispers in our ear. And we are courageous.

We sufferers of this disorder are actually stronger than we think... and feel it or not, God is right there with us...

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

 This is my life verse: Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if  there be any virtue, and if  there be  any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8

Taking my medicine gladly

There was a time when I fought taking medicines. It was at a time when the sermons were about what you say is what you get. Claiming your healing in Jesus' Name and getting healed: if you didn't, you lacked the faith to make it so. I now believe that this is unbalanced teaching and do not follow it. However, at the time it made me feel very guilty about taking my medicine.

I do believe that God heals today. And I do believe that faith can make you well. But I have lived long enough with chronic illness to know that this doesn't happen all the time and that most times our prayer should be "if it is Thy will, please heal me!" Faith teachings often miss the fact that God is God! His Will may not be an immediate healing...I don't know why: I just know that I must accept my health as being in His Will. To struggle against this is to make yourself worse through faulty and negative thinking. We are called to walk in faith, not by sight.

In those years, I felt extremely guilty because I suffered from depression that was caused by a chemical imbalance. I tried many times to come off my tablets, usually after a healing crusade, and I fell- straight into the Pit of Despair. This fall often required more medication than before to get me to the place of health I was in when I thought I had been healed. And it took many many weeks of feeling awful before they kicked in again. Not a good place to be.

As I grew in my faith and relinquished my health to the LORD, I acquired many more medications. All of them are vitally important to keep my heart functioning, my blood pressure normal, my blood thin, my cholesterol down, to prevent my kidneys from making kidney stones and to regulate my under active thyroid. Not to mention other things to keep my eyes from drying out and to minimise the pain of fibromyalgia and back problems and to reduce the gastric acid that some medications cause. And of course, the anti-depressants to normalise my neuro-transmitters.

Once I would have held these tablets in my hand and fought taking them. Not any more. I now adopt a spirit of gratitude as I take my medications, for without them I would not be alive for very long. I feel that my medications are a gift from God to allow me to love and serve Him a little longer here and now. Life is after all, God's Will and I am grateful for each new day.

I believe that God gave man the ability to make medications and that ensuring a better quality of life is in God's Will. For Christ came to give us abundant life. Laying in a sick bed with angina and pain is not an abundant life.

I would urge you to have a rethink about your medicines if you have been told that they aren't in God's Will for you. Try to adopt a glad and grateful attitude as you take them. Rejoice that you live in a place in the world where they are available and be glad. Joy and life are in the Will of God, or else why would we see Christ healing many ill and afflicted people? He told us He came to do the Will of His Father!

May you be well, no matter what it takes and may we bless the LORD together for His goodness to us!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him. Acts 10:38